Akaashi leaned into Bokuto again, sighing softly. "Kotarou?"

"Yes?"

"Do you not wish sometimes that you could have a different life?"

"Every day." Bokuto looked down where Akaashi was curled up on his chest. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't really know. I just..." Akaashi laughed quietly. "My mind is so odd."

Bokuto rubbed his back. "You seem tired."

Akaashi nodded. He sighed and sat up. He put his arms around Bokuto's neck and pressed their foreheads together. "I'm so nervous I can't sleep though."

Bokuto kissed him. "Yeah? What would you like to do then?"

"We can just keep cuddling." Akaashi kissed Bokuto.

"Is that all you had in mind?" Bokuto questioned. He was careful with his movements, not wanting to get Akaashi upset.

"Oh..."

Bokuto heard the heaviness and smiled sadly. "We don't need to do anything you don't want. We can just lay here Keiji. No need to worry."

"I want to please you. I do. I just can't." Akaashi touched his chest, eyes lingering on Bokuto's. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't worry Keiji. You don't have to do anything. You're doing just fine. You being here pleases me."

Akaashi felt his mind start to spiral a bit. "But what if we end up getting married some day? Then what? What if I can't please you when we're married? I'd be a failure of a husband."

"Okay Woah first of all sex isn't necessary during marriage that's bullshit. Second, we have sex when both of us want it. Not just me. Not just you." Bokuto sat up all the way. "Let's go take a walk."

Akaashi clung to Bokuto's arm, staring. "What if he's back in the castle?"

"Is that what's been on your mind today?"

Akaashi nodded silently. Bokuto lifted him up and set him on his bed. He got the basket of balms and lotions from under Akaashi's bed.

"Pick one."

"Why?"

"Just pick one Keiji. Please."

Akaashi looked over the basket before picking one up. He smiled. "This one smells like roses."

"Yeah? You like roses?" Akaashi nodded. Bokuto put the basket down and set the jar aside. "Shirt please."

Akaashi took off his shirt. He tapped Bokuto's hand. "Is this that massage?"

"Of course honey. Is that okay?"

Akaashi nodded. "I have a candle. Can you light it please?"

Bokuto lit the candle and went to wash his hands, knowing he was too dirty. He always felt so dirty and the white he had to wear the next day would only remind him further. He was nothing but a blacksmith.

Bokuto returned to Akaashi tracing scars on his body and smiled.

"Something wrong?"

"No, no. I'm just thinking."

"About the scars?"

"They're from sparing. I was stupid and kept getting hurt. I'm a great swordsman now though." He smiled. "I love swords."

"Good thing I am almost done with yours."

Akaashi giggled softly. Bokuto laid him down and scooped some lotion from the container. He rubbed it into Akaashi's back, adding all the pressure he wanted. Akaashi stared at Bokuto nearly the whole time, just watching.

"Oh someone looks sleepy..." Bokuto leaned down and tapped Akaashi's arm. "You need help turning over?"

Akaashi nodded. Bokuto held him up a bit and put him under the blankets. Akaashi instantly fell asleep, Bokuto by his side as he had grown used to. Bokuto laid by him, making sure he was okay.

Since the funeral had ended Akaashi had been between weeping into his shoulder and stress eating. He tried to be as polite as possible but no matter what he tried he just couldn't help but make a mess. His whole life he had been able to hold himself up but now he was a mess of tears and several crumbs from small cakes.

Bokuto just kissed his forehead and cheeks through it all, making sure he was okay. Akaashi was such a messy person when it came to no longer being stoic.

Bokuto turned over and curled up to go to sleep, not at all used to stretching his whole body out to sleep. Akaashi whined softly. Bokuto turned back over and noticed Akaashi grabbing the sheet by his head, in distress. Bokuto tapped his hand. "Hey, hey, hey. It's alright."

Akaashi startled awake before huffing softly. "Oh..."

Bokuto hummed. "Bad dream babe?"

Akaashi nodded. He closed his eyes.

"What do you need from me?"

Akashi grabbed his hand and got closer. "P-please... hold me..."

Bokuto held him close and Akaashi started to cry again. Bokuto had never seen a man cry so much in his life. But that was a rough perspective. Akaashi was still so very little compared to what people wanted. He was expected to act like a 45 year old with expierence instead of the scared little twenty year old who had been sheltered from the rest of reality.

He was just a kid. Being king was too much, even for him.

Bokuto rubbed his back slowly, watching him. "Is this anxiety or a bad dream?"

"Kinda both? My mind... it's going so fast."

"Yeah?"

Akaashi hiccuped. "I wish my mama were here..."

"I wish she were here too Keiji. She was a kind woman."

Akaashi nodded. He rubbed his eyes and clung to Bokuto.

"Are you gonna go back to sleep?"

"M-mhmm."

Bokuto sat up. Akaashi panicked slightly. "Relax. I'm taking off my shirt so it'll calm you down honey. I'm staying right here." He took off his shirt and smiled. "All better?"

Akaashi laid down against Bokuto's chest and hummed. He smiled at the steady beating beneath the skin and Bokuto felt him relax.

"All better?"

"Mhm."

"Good job calming down. I'm proud of you."

Akaashi sort of wiggled, smiling. "Thank you."

Bokuto kissed his hair. "You've got a big day tomorrow. Let's get some rest, okay?"

Akaashi nodded. He closed his eyes and seconds later started to open them again. "Kotarou."

"Yes honey?"

"Can you ring that bell? It looks like a regular string but it calls a servant. I want another sweet."

"You're not gonna sleep if you eat so much sugar. How about fruits or veggies?"

"Ew."

"Oh please you force me to eat them."

"Fine." He closed his eyes. "I'll starve."

"Oh well I guess." Bokuto turned on his side and Akaashi's started to whine. "What is it?"

"You're on my hand!"

Bokuto moved and squeezed him tight. "You're so cute."

Akaashi pinched his arm.

"Ow. Asshole."

"Go to sleep."

"You're one to talk."

Akaashi huffed. Bokuto rubbed his back again and Akaashi hooked a leg around him. "Mm... thanks."

Bokuto chuckled softly.

Akaashi hummed. "I know what I want."

"Uh oh."

"Hehe."

****

Akaashi's door opened, making him startle and cover his body. "Get out! What the Hell?!"

The door slammed shut and Bokuto sat up, panting loudly. "Who was that?"

Akaashi eased his blanket down, sighing softly. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked back. "Stupid cock blocking maid."

Bokuto laughed and pulled him back down, turning him over and holding him against the mattress. "Five minutes?"

"That's all it takes with you hot stuff." Akaashi wrapped his arms around Bokuto's neck and kissed him. There was a knock on the door and he huffed. "I'm going to tell them."

"Uh oh."

Akaashi sat up a bit. "Go away! I'm trying to have sex with my fiancé!"

Bokuto chuckled. "You're so hot when you give orders."

"I'll get out of this bed right now."

"No! No! Please!" Akaashi giggled. He laid back down and just relaxed. Bokuto sighed. "Sorry."

Akaashi sat back up. "It's okay. We can get ready."

Bokuto smiled sadly. His expectations were so high and he still wasn't able to do anything. He looked to the wardrobe where their outfits were placed. Pure white.

Everything but him was perfection.