"Seulgi, say something...please.", he begged. His fists around the steering wheel had turned red, just like his face. He was driving too fast, but I didn't care I wanted to get away from him as fast as possible.

"Babe,please!", he was almost shouting. I felt him looking at me, his eyes filled with tears. But I didn't care. He was growling and even ignored a red light. I was looking out of the window, my expression blank. The raindrops on the window were dancing, the wind outside was making them turn around into circles and then abruptly fall down.

The car stopped and I noticed that we had arrived. Quickly I unbuckled my seat-belt and got off the car. I was running towards the door, trying to get in quicker as Hoseok but it didn't take long for him to catch up. His hand already held my wrist tightly.

"Don't do this, please, Seulgi.", his hands caressed my cheeks but I turned away without success, he grabbed me again.

"I didn't want this, it was a mistake!", he was sobbing and the rain wasn't making anything easier.

"Let me go.", I whispered loud enough to be heard.

"No!", he mumbled, grabbing my wrist even tighter.

"You're an asshole, I don't want to see you anymore!", I took my other hand to slap him hard. It was so hard that even my hand started to burn, but nothing was comparable to the pain in my heart. He was caught off guard for a second and let go of my hand, my chance to run. I ran the stairs up, ignoring the heavy rain drenching my clothes.

"I'm an asshole, you are right but please don't do this to me, please don't leave me! I'll make everything up, I promise!", he stood right in front me not letting me pass.

"You said the exact same words the last time too, I won't let you make a fool of me this time. I still have some dignity, Hoseok.", I couldn't hold in the tears any longer too.

"Seulgi, you know how important you are to me. I would never do this you, I don't understand what went through me. Please, I'm begging you don't leave me. I'll do anything!"

I slapped him again. Maybe I could get his brain into the right spot again by slapping him, I could continue forever.

"You can't make me trust you anymore! You cheated on me, the second time, the second time! You're the biggest asshole!"

Slap.

"It was a mistake, please!", he grabbed my hands and put them together probably preventing them from slapping him again.

"Shut up saying it was a mistake! I believed you that it was a mistake the first time, but the same 'mistake' the second time is not a mistake anymore, it's a decision! And now let me go, and never come back. Never!", I pushed him to the side, opening the front door. I ran towards the elevator, hoping he wouldn't follow this time.

Soon I felt two strong arms around me, pulling me close to his chest.

"Don't, don't do this. You told me you'd never leave me.", he stuttered into my ear.

I kept pushing the button.

"I'm not leaving you Hoseok, you left me.", I pushed his arms away and quickly stepped into the elevator. Of course he followed me, trying to push him out was useless because even though I was stronger than an average girl, he was much stronger and that's why he was inside the small room with me when the doors closed. He pushed the button where my apartment was at, probably thinking we could solve everything there. But he was dead wrong.

"Go away. You won't step into my apartment. I want you to leave. Right now.", I looked him into the eyes and we had the most intense eye contact in our 6 months relationship, at least it felt like that.

"I won't let it end like this.", he shook his head. His voice got raw from all the screaming, I had to adjust my ears to his non-screaming voice again.

"You don't have a choice, it's over. Over, you can't do anything against it. I might still love you-", my voice started to shake heavenly and didn't let me continue. His lips started shaking too, I saw it, but I had to ignore it. I won't fall for him again, he had showed me that he didn't want me.

The doors opened and I reacted quickly. Passing him was easy, but letting him behind me was not. He started running too, I heard his sobs. But this is it, I won't forgive him. I have to do this, I need to have some self-respect.

I felt the adrenaline rushing through my blood as I quickly searched for my keys. Quickly I opened the door. Just in time I managed to close the door, right before Hoseok's hands hammered against it.

This is it.

"No, no, no!", he screamed his hands hitting the door.

I couldn't hold in the tears anymore, just like him I started sobbing. Uncontrollably. I had to gasp for air now and then because the sobs came deep from my lungs. When was the last time I've cried this hard? I couldn't remember crying this badly ever, not even when he told me the first time he had cheated on me.

》september

"Seulgi, I've made the biggest mistake in my life. Promise me you won't leave me.", he grabbed me even tighter towards him causing me to giggle.

"I won't!", I whispered pecking his lips.

"I...I.. I cheated on you Seulgi.", he hid his face in my neck and for a second we just stood there, saying nothing. My fingers started to shake, I felt it but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move, for a few seconds and I even forgot how to breathe.

"W-w-why?", I stuttered my hands were still floating in the air and his hands were grabbed tightly around my waist.

"I don't know, I was not myself and I was drunk. I was completely drunk, I couldn't remember anything but when I saw that woman laying next to me the next morning I knew, I knew I messed up hard. But please, please let us pretend that it wasn't me, because there's some truth behind it. It wasn't me, it was the drunk evil inside of me. You trust me, don't you?", he looked at me but I couldn't face him. My eyes preferred to stare at the ground.

"Say something.", he whispered pulling my chin up. Our eyes met and I felt my knees getting weak. I could never not forgive him, he meant too much to me.

"Never drink alcohol again please."

"I'll do anything you want.", he kissed my forehead putting my face into his hands, "I love you Seulgi. I love you.", he whispered pecking my lips.

"I love you too.", I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back. His hands quickly caressed my back, moving up and down.

Without further ado he lifted me up and headed towards his bed. While he started kissing my neck I tried my hardest to ignore the tears.

》

H

is sobs seemed to quiet down, but they were still present. I was already laying on the ground, only a thin wall was separating us but I was thankful for it. I would forgive him again, but I shouldn't. How could I be so blind and not realize that all this time he just had played with me? All these times he told me he'd do anything, they were all lies.

》june

"Seulgi?" , a hiccup stopped him from finishing his sentence.

"Hoseok, where are you?", I sat up from my bed, plugging off the charger of my phone so that I could walk around while talking to him.

"I'm...I'm in Hongdae.", his voice sounded weird. Was he...drunk?

"Why are you in Hongdae? It's like 3am!"

"Can I take a cab to you and you'll pay for it? I don't have no money anymore and I really want to sleep. I like sleeping in your bed the most, next to you.", he giggled and I realized that he was damn drunk.

"Take it and come quickly!"

"Yes sir.", he hung up with these words. I sat down onto my bed for a few seconds. He had drunk alcohol even though I told him not to anymore. 'Going to practice all night'? Was partying some practice he had to do? I heard the bell ring and quickly ran downstairs, paying the cab driver and picking up Hoseok whose scent was disturbing me. Alcohol. He had lied to me.

We finally reached my apartment and he went towards my bedroom straightaway.

"Don't sleep Hoseok... we need to talk.", I sat down next to him but he seemed to ignore me.

"Hoseok..."

His hand suddenly grabbed my thighs, squeezing them.

"What are you doing?-", I tried to stand up but he quickly got up and pushed me back into my bed. He hovered above me and looked into my eyes.

"I'm sorry.", he whispered. He started kissing me.

"Hoseok-", he caught me off by kissing me again. This time including his tongue. I couldn't say anything anymore. He rolled onto his back and grabbed me putting me onto his waist. I sat on his waist and looked down to him, he seemed to smile. I was angry but couldn't help and smile too.

"Come here.", he pointed towards his face and I quickly did as I was told. Our lips met again and after squeezing my butt lightly causing me to moan he entered his tongue into my mouth. His mouth tasted like a few tequila shots but still, our tongues were dancing and soon I found myself loosing myself because of him.

》

Silence. Was he still there? I stood up and went into the kitchen to get some water. My eyes hurt like hell and I knew there was no way I could go to dance practice tomorrow. I wanted to cover myself under the blankets and never come back. Everything would remind me of him, I will love him forever. How am I supposed to get over him? He was my first everything, first flirt, first kiss, first >I love you<, first sex. He meant everything to me and letting him go was like letting go a part of myself. I couldn't handle it. I needed him. I looked outside of the window, his car was still there. Should I look if he's still in front of the door? I remembered my last words to him, I told him that I loved him. Does he love me too?

》may

"Seulgi, I really wanted to come!", he grabbed my hand and pushed me back into his room.

"No, if you wanted to come you wouldn't have spend the entire day at her place and practice. Why was practice more important to you than meeting my parents?"

"Practice was super important today and I totally forgot the time. I am sorry, babe.", he leaned closer towards me and pecked my lips. But I stepped backwards, I was angry. I had told him about how excited I was for his first encounter with my family for weeks, but practice seemed to be more important to him.

"I don't think you like me!", the words slipped out of my mouth. His expression was blank suddenly and instead of saying anything he grabbed me tightly.

"I don't like you... you're right.", he pulled my chin up, "I love you, babe."

"You...you love me?", I stuttered.

"Don't you love me back?"

"Of course I do, oh my god I just didn't expect you to-", he caught me off guard and lifted me up heading towards his bed.

This had been the first time we had shared our I love you. Of course I couldn't continue on being angry when he had just confessed. The man of my dreams loved me, there was no reason on earth anymore to not be the happiest girl.

"What are you doing?", I giggled leaning against the headboard.

"Loving you!", he mumbled but his lips formed a smile too, I felt it while his lips kissed mine.

We continued making out, cuddling and making out again. As always we didn't talk much, enjoying each others company was enough for us. We were laying in each others arms, staring at the ceiling.

"Hoseok, you're the first guy ever."

"What do you mean?", he looked at me kissing my cheeks softly.

"The first boy I ever fell for. I've never loved a boy before."

He smiled and kissed me.

"I hope I'm you first and last. You're definitely my last you know that,right?", his hand grabbed my waist so that I was facing him now.

"You're my first and last.", I nodded at him.

"But I wasn't your first kiss, was I?", he narrowed his eyebrows.

I shook my head.

"Are you still a virgin?"

I felt my cheeks turning hot. It was kind of embarrassing, but I nodded.

"You are?", he seemed shocked .

I nodded again, now giggling.

"I want to be your first one."

My eyes widened and I felt his fingers digging into my skin. It seemed to me that his eye color had changed, but he was still beautiful. Of course I wanted him to be my first one too. I was embarrassed to be a virgin with my 19 years.

"I want your virginity babe, no one else should have it.", he leaned closer and kissed me. Instead of saying anything I nodded.

"Do you want it too?", he kissed me softly.

"Yes."

"Okay.", he smiled at me and hovered above me, "I'll be careful. I love you."

"I love you too."

He took off my skirt.

》

My fingers hurt. Should I turn the doorknob or not. Oh, this struggle. I can't, I can't let him go. I need him, I love him. Slowly I turned the doorknob. He was gone. I looked around, he was nowhere. I closed the door and ran towards the window in the kitchen. I saw him walking towards the car. Without thinking anything I ran towards the living room to the balcony so that I could shout to him. Just when I reached the balcony I saw him already driving off. My legs started to shake and I couldn't hold myself up anymore.

Here I was, sitting on the balcony in the rain.

This was a sign.

I had to let him go.

And so I did.

-
Author's note

So this was kind of different, I hope no one felt weird reading it because of its sexual content!! Actually I wrote this one before I wrote my other story 'perfect' and it seems as if there are many parallels between this one shot and 'perfect'. So what I'm actually trying to say, please don't think that I only write about cheating hahaha ~ ♡