Chapter 7

When an artist dreams, she dreams with her eyes open. Every stroke of a paintbrush is equivalent to a writer's words. This world has the ability to turn the most evil, gruesome thing into something romantic over time. People are funny just like that. Blood is every bit a symbolism of death yet it has been associated with romance for as long as I could remember.

Sighing, I put down my paintbrush and plucked the unlit cigarette from my palette. Feeling the tip of the stick in my lips gave me an odd comfort, and I hold unto that as long as I could to ground myself.

I squinted at the unfinished painting. The lines are all wrong. I do not have any idea how to capture the air of arrogance and the depth of his clear, forest eyes. I could have all the shades, all the hues of the world, but if my artist hands are incompetent, there's no way I could translate his aristocratic appearance into a painting.

My phone buzzed. Tinatamad ko itong kinuha.

Kirby:

Biiiiitch! I'm back! :D

My mouth formed an 'o', surprised to see his sudden text message. Before I could even type a reply, Kirby is already calling me.

"Kirby! It's been a while!" I exclaimed, feeling suddenly enthusiastic.

"I'm with Sorch right now. Where are you?"

"Is that Czarina?" I even heard Sorcha from the background, and then some unknown song blasting. They must be driving because I could hear Sorcha swearing followed by furious honks.

"Nasa bahay ako-"

"We'll be there in 10 minutes if this woman doesn't kill us while driving. Get changed!"

Feeling giddy, I stood and left my unfinished painting. I slipped into a pair of high-waisted jeans and white linen cropped top. My hair is a mess, so I just put it on a lazy bun and grabbed my bag. I am still tying my shoelaces when I heard the loud honks outside. Kaagad akong tumakbo palabas.

"Kirb!"

Kirby, in all his macho glory, is standing in front of his car, wearing a tight wifebeater shirt and a stylish black men's blazer. He engulfed me into a tight hug as soon as I saw him. Niyakap ko siya pabalik.

"I'm so glad you're back!" I huffed. Like Rigor, I have to crane my neck a little when talking to him because of his gigantic height. He grinned at me. He's not even wearing braces anymore.

"Told 'ya, I'll be back before you know it." He ushered me into the backseat and slid next to me.

"Why are you both sitting at the backseat?! Anoa ko, driver?!" reklamo kaagad ni Sorcha. I grinned at her.

"Morning Sorch, looking good today."

"Don't fuck with me, Saorsie. I know you spent the afternoon with Rigor yesterday."

Kirby turned to me with a malicious smile. "Really? You're hitting a Treveron right now? No offense to the Arzano family, Sorch, but what a great upgrade! It's like switching to iPhone from Cherry Mobile!" halakhak niya.

I internally groaned. Five seconds into the car and we're already talking about Rigor. Umiinit ang pisngi ko kapag naalala ko ang usapan namin kahapon sa kotse.

Kirby is an old friend. Like Sorcha, he came from a wealthy family. Unlike Sorcha, his family is more welcoming and cool. Some three years ago, he was sent to US to study and now he is back for a vacation. I thought he's arriving next week, but here he is.

"Sooo... Rigor Treveron, huh?" a snarky smirk formed on his lips as he eyed me meticulously. "Gaano katagal na kayo?"

"Kami?" pinandilatan ko siya ng mga mata. "Walang kami, Kirb."

"What? Why?" he complained. "Akala ko ba nakabingwit ka ng Treveron?"

"He's just a f-friend..."

"Last I checked, friends do not canoodle in the parking lot." Panggatong ni Sorcha.

"We're not canoodling-"

"Come on, Czarina. Hindi na tayo mga bata dito. Stop this denial drama at once because it's unlike you."

I pouted and sank deeper into my seat. "Well... I just broke up with my boyfriend."

"And?" Kirby rolled his eyes and made a gesture. "Aren't you allowed to flirt with other guys now that you're free from him? Or don't tell me you believe in that 3-month rule? Cause I'm telling you honey, that's BULLSHIT. No one should be telling you when to move on, date someone new, and be happy again."

I chewed on my bottom lip, still assessing my current situation. I guess Kirby is still clueless about the nude photo issue. Mukhang hindi rin naman sinabi ni Sorcha sa kaniya. I guess she wanted me to say it to him by myself.

"Well?" Kirby pressed.

Palingon-lingon ako, tapos ay malalim na bumuntong-hininga.

"I guess... he's attractive?"

"Are you kidding me? I'd fuck the man right then and there because newsflash Czarina, Rigor Vaughn Treveron is not just attractive. He is fucking hot!"

I winced at my friend fantasizing over Rigor. Napailing ako.

"And... and he's nice?"

Sorcha snorted from the driver's seat. "Treveron's are never nice, Czarina."

"I know they have a reputation-"

"A very bad reputation."

"But Rigor... he's different."

"Ugh. You sound like you're writing a cringe-y romance novel." Sorcha commented.

Tinadyakan ni Kirby ang likod ng upuan ni Sorcha, dahilan ng sunod-sunod niyang pagmumura.

"Be nice, Sorch. You never hear Czarina talking like this about your cousin."

"He's a jerk. I can't believe I set you up with him."

"It's okay... really."

Maximo's name brings a weighted feeling to my chest. No matter how hard I try to avoid it, I can't disregard the fact that he is in full-force ruining my life right now because he is angry with me.

Pinisil-pisil ko ang mga daliri. Kirby noticed my discomfort, and pressed a comforting hand to mine.

"From where I stand, I could tell you have a tiny crush on Rigor. That's completely normal, honey. Half the female population in the campus is crazy about him, if not his cousin, Elton."

I nodded. Having a crush on someone is harmless, I guess. It's not my first time to have a crush on someone. I shouldn't feel this ridiculous.

"Ngapala, niyaya niya ako sa senior's ball."

Muntik na kaming mabangga nang biglang tinapakan ni Sorcha ang break. Tumilapon ang hawak na cellphone ni Kirby sabay pagmumura ng kaibigan.

"He invited you to what?!" pinandilatan ako ng mga mata ni Sorcha. I know she's worried about what the other seniors would say to me once I present myself there.

"Umm..."

"Anong problema, Sorch? Juniors attend senior's ball all the time, basta may ka-date lang sila." Nalilitong tanong ni Kirby.

Hindi ako kumibo. Sorcha laughed awkwardly.

"Right. Riiiiight. Rigor personally invited Czarina, I'm sure there wouldn't be any problems."

"What are you wearing anyway?"

"Pwede ko namang isuot yung sinuot ko last year-"

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no." mariing pagputol sa akin ni Kirby. "That won't do. Sorch, darling, drive straight to the mall. We're going shopping." He smirked.

And that was the start of an impromptu four-hour shopping trip with Kirby and Sorcha. They picked anything they want, without as much glancing at the expensive price tag and tossed everything in the cart even though I only need one dress for the ball.

"Are you kidding me?" Kirby snorted. "You'll need alllll these dresses, honey. Trust me, if that Treveron boy is really serious about you, you'll need more than a dozen dresses. And..." he leaned closer to me and whispered. "If you're lucky enough, you won't be needing a dress with him soon."

Na-eskandalo ako sa narinig at kaagad na itinulak ang mukha niya palayo sa akin. Kirby grinned wickedly and glanced at his phone. "What's his IG username, by the way?"

"I'm not sure. I don't follow any of his social media accounts."

"Eh paano mo siya ini-stalk?" malakas ang boses niya kaya napalingon ang dalawang babae na namimili rin ng damit sa likuran.

I quickly covered his mouth in embarrassment. "I don't stalk him on social media, okay?" I rolled my eyes.

"Gods. What an amateur." He rolled his eyes and clicked the following on his Instagram account. Then I saw he went over Elton's IG account. "Look at this dork. He's dating someone?"

Kirby showed us a picture of a woman's thighs with Elton's hand gripping it. Tumaas ang kilay ni Sorcha. There were already 208 comments and a thousand likes on the photo he posted a few days ago.

"That can't be Shantel..."

"Who's Shantel?"

"Some rich girl who happened to be the daughter of the governor. She's younger than us."

Kirby snorted. "He's dating someone younger than him?"

"I dunno. I'm not really interested in Philodemus."

"Right. You like fucking his cousin more."

Sorcha glared at him but didn't say a word. Instead, she continued ransacking the rack full of dresses in front of her.

Kirby fell into silence as his brows drew together in concentration. Sinabayan ko si Sorcha sa pamimili pero maya-maya pa ay nagtatalon na si Kirby.

"Gotcha! I found his Instagram account!" he squealed but the smile on his face quickly faded. "What the hell? It's a private account?!"

Sinilip ko ang screen ng phone niya. His display picture is the same as his lockscreen. Him, topless. In a beach. With his dogs.

@rigorvaughn

5 posts 44 followers 3 following

"What's up with him? I never took him for a cave man." Kirby complained. "Man, it's been a while since I last saw him. I want to see his face again, see if he's still handsome as fuck."

"He's still handsome as fuck, alright." Sorcha shoved a red, slit dress to my face and turned to Kirby. "Stop stalking him. You're creeping me out."

Tinitigan ko ang private account niya, kating-kati na kunin ang sariling phone at i-search din siya sa IG. But for what? I know for sure I wouldn't have the guts to request for a follow. I bit my lower lip and turned away.

Pagkatapos naming sa mall ay dumiretso kami sa bahay nina Kirby. His five brothers were there, drinking by the pool. None of them have any problems with Kirby being a gay. So are his parents. They welcomed me and Sorcha and we were always spoiled because they keep on mentioning before that they really wanted to have a daughter but instead were blessed with six, strong sons.

"Oh my goodness! Czarina, you've gotten really pretty!" Kirby's mother beamed.

"Hello po, Tita. Glad to see you again."

"And Sorcha! Look at that ass!"

"Ma, stop embarrassing me!" Kirby gritted his teeth and hissed at his mother.

She laughed. "It's okay. Sorcha really has a blessed body. Are you working out, hija?"

"Paminsan nalang po, Tita."

"Guess someone's keeping you busy, then." She winked.

"Ugh." Kirby grunted, dragging the both of us away from the kitchen. Tawa nang tawa si Sorcha.

"Now you know how we feel when you talk about your sexual fantasies?"

"She's my mother. It still sounds weird." He shuddered.

I stayed at his house for the night. His brothers were nice to us. They were all fine-looking guys and one of them even tried to make a move on Sorcha before but Kirby blocked him. He didn't want to risk his friendship with us over some relationship with one of his brothers that may never last.

Pasado ala una nan ang matulog ang dalawa. We spent the night catching up and drinking rum. Kirby's mom joined us for a minute but quickly left to tend to the house. Sorcha is sleeping at the edge, while Kirby is using her stomach as a pillow. I got up from the bed when I felt my phone buzzed.

Rigor:

Still up?

Sinulyapan ko ang dalawa at tuluyan nang tumayo. I quickly typed a reply.

Ako:

Hi! I'm up :)

Lumabas ako sa terrace na naka-konekta sa kwarto ni Kirby. Two of his brothers are still hanging out at the pool, drinking and talking. When my phone buzzed, I froze at his reply.

Rigor:

Can I call you?

After that traumatic experience with Max, I'm still getting used to people asking for consent before doing anything. I drew in a deep breath and agreed before glancing at the sky. A moment later, my phone rang.

"Czarina..." his bedroom voice sounded from the other line.

I clutched my chest when my heart started thumping furiously. I could already imagine him, lying on his large bed, topless. His hair would be in a delightful mess. I suddenly envy the sheets for roaming so freely around his skin, which still felt hot in my skin each time I remembered how close we were yesterday, inside his car.

"...R-Rigor."

"Why are you still up? I wasn't expecting for you to reply to my message at this hour."

"Heh." I chuckled awkwardly. "Let's just say insomnia is one of my many talents."

Rigor chuckled. "I see, cherié. Your talent comes in handy tonight, cause I really want to hear your voice."

A lump quickly formed in my throat. He wants to hear my voice? But why?

"I'm not sure why you'd want to hear my voice..." I tugged at the hem of my shirt.

"I guess that's the funny thing about desires." I heard him grunt, then some muffled sounds. He must be switching positions in his bed where he is lying right now. "There is no logical reason behind it. You just want it.... like how I want..."

"Want what?"

There was silence. Then he chuckled. "Never mind me, I'm kinda drunk. I'm sorry."

"I'm tipsy as well, Rigor. Huwag kang mag-alala, kung ano man ang mapag-usapan natin ngayong gabi, walang makakaalala kinabukasan." I joked.

"Heh... right..."

I could hear the hesitation in his voice. Now that he's mentioned it, I wonder how he got drunk. If he's what I picture him to be, he must be drinking some expensive alcohol inside his room, alone. Or in the version of others, he must be out partying and flirting with women, then got home drunk and called me. The latter bothered me.

"Hey, so I don't mean to pry—but... but I just want to ask something..."

"Ano yun?" sumandal ako sa railings. One of Kirby's brother is dragging the plastic chair inside while the other slept on the cold floor, exhausted.

"Yung anak ng mayor... ilang taon kayo nun?"

He did not mention his name, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa railings. I wanted to control the boiling rage inside of me by taking deep breaths.

"Two years."

"I see."

I was waiting for him to ask some more, but he didn't seem to have any more questions.

"Why are you suddenly interested in my love life, Treveron?" I kidded.

"I'm gathering facts."

"Uh-huh."

"As I've said earlier, don't mind me. I'm just drunk."

"Yeah, I didn't think we've reached the drunk-calling phase because that's only for exes but here we go." I chuckled.

"Me? I will never be your ex, Czarina!"

Lumawak ang ngisi ko sa mukha. How I love teasing him!

"We'll see, Treveron. We'll see."

"You better sleep. I've been keeping you up." I heard one of the dogs barking from the background.

"Alright. Kiss the boys goodnight for me."

"And for me?"

"Just a good night, Treveron." I smirked.

"This is the second time I've been jealous of my dogs. Czarina. Please don't keep this up."

Natawa ako at napatingala sa madilim na kalangitan. As usual, the moon is so beautiful tonight. I stared at it and felt my chest easing. Hearing him chuckle like this made me easily forget about my worries. For someone who's been born in a silver plate and worshipped for his looks and talents, the man is so grounded and easy to hang out with. He's a far cry from my version of him I've fooled myself with for so many years. Ibang-iba.

"Rigor..."

"Hmm?"

"Salamat, ah?" I almost choked as I felt the unshed tears brimming my eyes. Today is a good day. With Kirby being back, Sorcha her usual, sober self, and Rigor drunk-calling me, it distracted me form all my problems.

"For what? Drunk-calling you?"

I giggled in a broken voice. "Well... the past few days have been rough with me. I think this is the happiest I've been since.. since.."

"You don't have to mention it." he quickly responded. "I really don't want to stick my nose into someone else's business pero... sabihin mo lang kung kailangan mo ang tulong ko. Being a Treveron has its perks. I can give him a lesson."

"It's okay, really." I drew in a deep breath. I don't want to burden other people with my problems. I know I'm going to fuck up sooner or later, and I don't want them throwing it back at my face. I only have to rely on myself. "Kaya ko 'to."

"Hindi kita pipilitin, Czarina... pero kung hindi mo na kaya, nandito lang ako."

"Good night, Rigor."

"Good night, cherié."

I ended the call and pressed the phone to my chest as tears rolled down my cheeks. I've been putting it off for as long as I can but there's no way I can get past my trauma if I do not confront it. It's also unfair to attach myself to Rigor with all my emotional bullshit.

It's time to confront Maximo.

My phone pinged with a notification. I smiled despite my tears.

[Instagram:] @rigorvaughn started following you.

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#HanmariamBFLChap7