Chapter 6

"The number you have dialed is either unattended or out of coverage area. Please try your call later..."

I grunted, feeling hopeless. Did he memorize my number? How could he know it was me?

Isang bigong tingin ang ibinigay ko sa cellphone bago ko ito ibinaba. I thought about what Sorcha and Rigor told me, that the rumors will die down as time passes by. But it's been a week and I could barely make it through the day without anyone harassing me or calling me out. Even the girls are whispering things behind my back.

"Ikaw ba talaga yun?"

Napasinghap ako at nilingon ang kaklase, nagbabaga ang mga mata. Sick to my stomach, the tip of my tongue is more than ready to lash out at these people who keep on judging me without bothering to know the entire story.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you..." napaatras siya nang makita ang talim ng tingin ko. "It's just... I'm c-curious. I know we're not close, but I just think that... that you're not the type of girl who do that... thing." Napalunok siya, bakas ang takot sa mukha.

I sighed and put my paintbrush down. We are currently having an individual activity for our Fine and Applied Arts. It's my most favorite subject because my blockmates are easy to be with and just usually go off minding their own business.

"Kung hindi ako 'yun, maniniwala ka ba?"

She smiled at me and picked up her own brush. "Of course. Bakit naman hindi?"

Pinag-aralan ko ang mukha niya. She is one of the most quiet here in this subject but most of the boys are pursuing her because of her soft, femine beauty. Makinis, maliit na mukha, at natural na namumalang pisngi, lalo na kapag naiinitan. She is diligent with her studies and hangs out with the right people. With my reputation here at school, I'm surprised she's even talking to me.

Humugot ako ng isang malalim na buntong hininga. From the corner of my eye, I could see two of my female classmates eager to hear the end of our conversation. Ramdam ko ang bawat mapanghusgang mata na nakatitig sa akin, ang mga bulong, at akusasyon kahit na hindi nila isatinig.

"Hindi ako yun." Sa wakas ay nasabi ko.

She simply nodded and went on with her business, not even asking for further explanation. I bit my lower lip and went back to my business too, feeling a little bit at ease. She is the first woman here, aside from Sorcha, who sided me in this time of crisis.

Nang matapos sa klase ay binalak ko nang umuwi. Lingering around the campus won't do me good. Sorcha texted me, cursing that she has to attend another meeting for a group project in one of her major subjects. I can't see her today, so I might as well really go home.

Bumagal ang lakad ko nang makarating sa third floor kung saan parati ang mga seniors. I quickly swept the crowd of faces, eager to find his face but I failed. Nang mapagtantong wala dito ang pakay ay saka ko pa binilisan ang lakad pababa sa hagdan.

"Anakng! Thyron, hindi mo ba talaga titigilan si Sorcha?"

Kaagad akong napahinto nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses. Two male voices are arguing just a few flights from me. Hindi ko na kailangang kumpirmahin na si Rigor nga iyon dahil kilalang-kilala ko na ang boses niya.

"What are you talking about?" si Thyron.

"I saw the two of you making out just outside the men's room earlier! What the hell are you up to?"

"Relax, bro. We're just having fun."

"He's just stingy because Sorcha is friends with the girl he's been hitting with."

Nagulat ako nang makarinig pa ng isang boses. This time, naglakas loob na akong sumilip at muntik nang matumba nang makita ang magpipinsang Treveron na nakatambay sa baba ng hagdan. Thyron is sitting next to Elton, while Rigor is standing, leaning against the wall pero bakas sa mukha ang irita at inip na gusto nang layasan ang dalawa. I do not know what they're doing exactly, but the stairs are usually deserted because the students prefer to use the elevator.

Thyron grinned and turned to his brother. "So... Carina? Caren? What was her name again?"

"It's Czarina, you imbecile."

He chuckled. "I'm just kidding. I know exactly her name."

"And I'm not hitting her. She just broke up with her boyfriend for God's sake."

"Then what are you doing?" Elton asked lazily, busy scrolling in his phone.

"I'm just... friends with her." There was hesitation in his voice.

"Friends." His cousin smirked.

Naningkit ang mga mata ni Rigor. "Sure, I'm not gonna comment about how you're also friends with that highschooler, Philo. Ina mo."

Tumawa nang malakas si Thyron. Inakbayan pa niya ang pinsan.

"Oo nga, babysitter ka na pala ngayon?"

Biglang dumilim ang mukha ni Philodemus. "Stop mentioning her name, you idiots. You don't even have the right to utter her name or breathe the same air as her."

Nagtawanan ang magkapatid sa sinabi ni Philodemus pero mukhang seryoso ata talaga siya. I felt bad for eavesdropping, so I slowly ascended without making any noise.

"—what are you going to do about the issue?"

"What issue?"

"Alam mo na... yung kay Czarina."

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata at nagmamadaling umakyat pabalik. I couldn't even stand to hear Rigor's reply. Cold fear took a swift punch at my gut, reminding me again of the situation I am in. hiyang-hiya na nga ako na ang mga taong hindi ko kilala, kilala ako dahil sa leaked photos na hindi naman akin. Pero ngayong ako na ang pinag-uusapan ng mga Treveron... it made me feel ashamed.

Mabilis ang hakbang ko papalabas ng building. I set my eyes to the campus gate immediately, determined not to be swayed by anything until I get out of here. The mute accusations from the girls who looked at me beneath their lashes and the arrogant confirmations of the guys didn't even bother me anymore. Gusto ko lang makalabas kaagad.

"Czarina!"

Muntik na akong madapa nang marinig ang boses ni Rigor. Tempting as it may, I continued walking as if I heard nothing. Dinukot ko pa ang phone mula sa bulsa para kunyari occupied ako. I walked faster as I heard heavy footsteps after me. Hindi na ako inabot ng minuto at naramdaman ang kagat ng kamay ni Rigor sa braso ko, dahilan ng pagkahinto ko.

I turned to him and faked a surprise look on my face.

"Rigor! Ikaw pala..."

"Tinawag kita.."

"Uh... hindi kita narinig! Sorry!" iwinagayway ko pa ang phone sa harapan niya bilang palusot. Namumungay ang mga mata niya sa panghapong araw at magulo ang medyo mahaba ng buhok. Art students are never obliged to follow the clean, military cut that the college implements for the male students.

Isang tango ang nakuha kong sagot mula sa kaniya. Hawak pa rin niya ang braso ko, dahilan upang akitin kami ng tingin mula sa dumadaang estudyante. Walang pakialam ang mga lalaki, pero panay ang lingon sa amin ng mga babae kasabay ng mapaghusgang tingin.

"Uhm.. Rigor... yung k-kamay ko."

"Right. Sorry." Dahan-dahan niya akong binitawan at isiniksik ang kamay na pinanghawak sa bulsa ng pantalon. "Are you heading home?"

I nodded meekly. Halos hindi na ako makatingin sa kaniya. I'm still curious to his reply that I wasn't able to catch and may lose a sleep or two thinking about it.

"Hatid na kita."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa anunsiyo na. I have yet to answer but he's already digging for his car keys! Bumuka ang bibig ko ngunit wala naman akong mailabas maliban. Rigor slowly cocked a brow, he must've seen the protest in my eyes.

"Uhm... pwede naman akong mag-commute na pauwi. Malapit lang naman sa amin atsaka baka may gagawin-"

"Wala akong gagawin." Pagputol niya sa akin. Nang magsimula siyang maglakad ay wala akong ibang magawa kundi sundan siya.

"Pero Rigor-" my mouth swallowed another protest again. If we're seen together like this when the issue is still the talk of the town, I'm sure his name would be dragged to the dirt as well.

"Ano?"

I lowered my lashes and stared at the ground hopelessly with slumped shoulders. "Kaya ko namang umuwi mag-isa..."

"I know. Gusto lang kitang ihatid."

I gaped at him. Bakas sa tono niya ang otoridad at halatang ayaw nang makipagtalo pa sa akin. The corner of his lips rose just a little, so I'm not sure if it's a sly smile or a scoff. Nang tumalikod sa akin para puntahan ang nakaparadang kotse, sinundan ko nalang din siya.

Rigor opened the door for me. I murmured a thank you as I slid inside and found myself struggling with the seatbelt that wouldn't budge while he's circling the car. Embarrassed, I pulled it harder to no avail. Nakapasok na si Rigor ay hirap na hirap pa rin ako sa seatbelt.

He immediately noticed my dilemma, and a flash of worry crossed his eyes.

"Ah, shit. My seatbelt's broken." He grunted under his breath as he leaned closer and explained what happened. "Silver yanked it so hard when I tried to lecture her about dating boys older than her yesterday."

Walang pumasok sa isipan ko nang tuluyan na siyang makalapit sa akin. Even when he is just around, I could smell strongly of his expensive perfume but now that he's just an inch away, it is almost making me drunk. Napalunok ako habang siya naman ay nahihirapan din sa nasirang seatbelt. He's still muttering about his sister but I didn't understand any of it. He grunted and yanked the shaft of the seatbelt, letting me earn a glimpse of his hard chest. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at kaagad na nag-iwas ng tingin. Good Lord! He could've worn something different today, a wifebeater shirt just like he used to! Why does he have to wear a button-down shirt today?

I heard a click, and a triumphant smirk touched his lips. Napatingin siya sa akin at doon pa napagtanto na halos wala nang distansiya sa aming dalawa. Malamang ay saksi na rin siya sa namumula kong mukha at ilong.

"S-Sorry." He quickly went back to his seat and cleared his throat. Nag-isang tingin pa sa akin bago ulit tumikhim at pinaandar ang sasakyan.

Pinisil-pisil ko ang mga daliri habang papalabas kami ng parking lot. Rigor is not saying a word as well. Maybe he felt really awkward about what happened just a few minutes ago. I silently slapped myself. Why do I have to act all flustered? I could've pretended that it was nothing and went along with it! Now he's feeling awkward, too!

"Czarina..."

"Hmm?" I reached for the bottled water inside my bag to calm myself and gave him a side-glance as the mouth of the bottle touched my lips.

Seryoso siyang nagd-drive at nakatingin sa daan.

"Do you like cigarettes... after sex?"he asked huskily.

Muntik ko nang maibuga ang iniinom ko, gulantang sa bulgar niyang tanong sa akin. My heart is racing so fast, I could hardly breathe! I stared at him with wide eyes...

"Why are you... asking me that?"

"I just wanted to know if you like it. I like it very much."

Tuluyan nang nilamon ng apoy ang mukha ko. Kung anu-ano ang pumasok sa isipan ko habang patuloy naman sa pagwawala ang puso ko.

"Don't you like it?"

"Uhm..." my cheeks are really burning red. I know his reputation of girls and how his fingers are not just talented in holding a paintbrush. I heard he is an expert at other strokes other than the canvas. "Rigor.."

"Kiss it off me..." he grinned sensually, wickedly. Not just my cheeks, but my entire body is on fire.

I swallowed hard. I'm not sure how I'm going to answer him. Being friends with Sorcha opened me to more... worldly things. I know exactly what he is talking about... yet I cannot bring myself to answer him!

"I... I'm not sure..." mahinang imik ko.

Biglang nangunot ang noo niya. "People I ask about it only answer yes or no. Maybe you haven't heard any of their songs before?"

Nanlaki ulit ang mga mata ko.

"The lead singer has an androgynous voice. I know my cousin is fronting a band and the man is very talented, but I like Cigarettes After Sex more than anything else." He chuckled to himself.

Wait... he's talking about a fucking band?!

The tip of my tongue swallowed a deafening scream as I cursed myself inside out. I drew in a deep breath as I felt my chest is about to burst. Gumuhit ang hapdi nang mahirapan akong huminga.

"O-Oh..." I stammered. "You're right. I haven't heard of them before."

"You're missing a lot, cherié." He tsk-ed and looked around until he spotted his half-opened bag on the car floor. "Can you get my phone for me?"

I hesitated for a bit and then nodded. Kinuha ko ang phone niya at iaabot na sana sa kaniya nang umiling siya.

"Just open it. The password is 000."

I bit my lower lip and nodded. Pinindot ko ang phone niya at tumambad sa akin ang lockscreen ni Rigor. It's the picture of him and the dogs. He's in the beach with the puppies. Wala siyang suot na pang-itaas, naka-sunglasses at malaki ang ngisi habang nasa paanan niya naman ang tatlong malalaking aso. It must've been a stolen shot because it looks so natural and... euphoric.

The phone automatically connected to the speaker inside the car, making me jump a little. Kaagad kong in-open ang phone niya bago pa niya mahalatang nakatitig ako sa lockscreen niya.

"Can you open my Spotify? I downloaded their album."

Sumunod naman ako. I opened his Spotify and located the album of the damned Cigarettes After Sex. Seriously, why would they name their band like this? Kung tuluyan ko siyang sinagot kung anong nasa isip ko kanina, malamang napahiya na ako!

"Uhm... which song?" I scrolled through the discography.

"Just hit the shuffle button. All their songs are great."

I did as I was told and hit the shuffle button. Sesame Syrup.

"Staring at your Kate Moss shower curtain

Lying on the bathroom floor, naked

Hiding coke inside all your orange Pixy Stix

You take a rail and spread it on your tit"

Muli akong na-eskandalo sa narinig. Rigor was a bit shocked, too and then chuckled awkwardly.

"Nice choice. But this one's a bit-"

"There's a small black notebook

That you keep hidden underneath your bed

I've seen before

It says every dirty thing that you did

With every single boy you've ever been with"

I flinched in my seat as Rigor grabbed the phone from me and quickly hit the next button.

"....vulgar." he said and swallowed.

I chuckled awkwardly, too. Ni hindi ko pa ma-appreciate ang kanta kasi nga sobrang awkward na namin dito. Ito na ata ang pinakamahabang biyahe ng buhay ko.

Rigor cleared his throat. Patingin-tingin ako sa kung saan bukod sa kaniya.

"Anyway-"

"Actually-"

Natigilan kaming dalawa at nagka-ilangan ulit. I cleared my throat again and gestured for him.

"You were saying?"

He licked his lower lip before glancing at me. Mukhang frustrated at hindi alam ang gagawin. He drew in a deep breath.

"Am I messing this up?"

"Messing up what?"

"This..." he gestured to us. "Just tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable. I'm just trying to impress you, I didn't mean to blast a sex song inside a car with a girl who barely know me."

I snorted and laughed. "No... no. It's okay."

"Ah, fuck." Ipinikit niya saglit ang mga mata at inuntog pa ang ulo sa headrest.

"What is it?" I asked immediately, worried.

"You must think I'm a pervert right now. I swear to God, Czarina. I'm not a pervert. I just like the songs-"

Tumawa ulit ako. Rigor stared at me helplessly. "I know, I know." If anything, I am the one who has a corrupted mind! Damn Sorcha and her escapades with different men that she'd proudly share to me!

He doesn't look convinced, but he slowly nodded.

"I'm not a pervert." He repeated.

"Yes, you're not." I chuckled. He's so fucking cute! How can someone look so cute and hot at the same time?

"Anyway," he cleared his throat. "Are you ready for the senior's ball?"

Nawala ang ngiti sa mukha ko nang maalala na niyaya niya nga pala ako sa senior's ball. I can't believe I agreed to go with all the commotion that's been happening to me. I licked my lower lip and tried to think of a plausible excuse.

"If you're worried about the others, try not to think about it. I'm a Treveron. They can't say anything about me."

I chuckled bitterly. "Of course, they won't."

"They've got no evidence as well, Czarina. Everything is just an assumption."

I sulk deeper into my seat. Sorcha offered many times to find the real owner of the photo but I refused. What am I going to do with her once I find out who she is? All I could do right now, as hopeless as it may sound, it to pray that people will soon forget all about it and the admin would reconsider their decision of suspending their financial assistance to me.

"I-I don't have anything to wear." I admitted, embarrassed. With how things are going, I need to be tighter on my budget. I could barely buy my art supplies because of sudden cut on my financial assistance. I can't ask for Sorcha and I've broken up with Max and even with I'm in the brink of being totally screwed, I can't bring myself to phone and call that woman...

"I'll just buy you-"

"No!" I immediately cut him off. "Please don't do that." Worry burst in my gut and started to overflow. I remembered how Max spoiled me so much only to slap it back to my face whenever he is angry with me.

Rigor was caught off guard, then slowly nodded. "Alright."

"I'm sorry..." napayuko ako.

"It's okay. Nakukulitan ka na ata sa akin. Hindi kita pipilitin kung ayaw mong pumunta."

I nodded in relief, but the guilt is still lurking around.

"If it's any consolation, I'm glad you let me drive you home today." Rigor slowed down when we entered my street. My apartment is in two blocks. I glanced at him. "Pakiramdam ko kasi, iniiwasan mo ako."

I bit my lower lip. So... he noticed. Of course, he's not dumb.

"Sorry."

"A girl shouldn't be sorry for setting her boundaries around people, especially men." Ihininto niya ang sasakyan sa harapan at binalingan ako. "Go on in. Good night, cherié."

I nodded and stepped out of the car. Mabagal ang kilos ko habang libo-libo ang tumatakbo sa isipan. I held the car door longer, hesitation pouring over me. I glanced at him again and smiled before finally closing the door. Rigor waited for me to enter and close the door before I heard him honking and driving away.

Closing my eyes, I let out an exasperated breath. I'm in trouble... a huge trouble.

-

#HanmariamBFLChap6