Chapter 8

"It's a good story, Storm. If you'd ask me..." Denver said the moment I placed the script on the table after reading.

I leaned back on my chair before lifting my tall glass of strawberry milkshake and taking a sip on it. Malalim ang iniisip ko. My gaze drifted to the woman walking her fashionista poodle outside the cafe. Nang lingunin niya ako ay mabilis kong ibinaling ang tingin palayo at inayos ang suot na malalaking sunglasses.

"Well... I'm still thinking about it."

Umarko ang kilay ni Denver. As soon as we got into Manila, he called me and set a private meeting for the two of us. Apparently, my grumpy manager had chosen an outdoor French cafe, just three blocks away from my condo. He said he needed fresh air and so do I.

"What about it?" he rested both of his hands on the round white table and eyed me suspiciously.

"It's cool, yeah. But..."

The corners of his lips lifted in a knowing smirk. Denver chuckled. "Are you, perhaps, bothered that Philo Treveron will see you kissing a woman on the screen?"

My cheeks burned in embarassment. Hindi kaagad ako nakasagot.

"C'mon, Storm! Philo is an open-minded person. I haven't heard of any negative statements from him pertinent to the LGBTQ community. And besides, he's a performer himself. He understands the nitty-gritty of your work and what appears on the screen is platonically professional."

"I know..." I chewed my bottom lips.

"Or are you still contemplating on playing the role of a lesbian?"

Ngumuso ako. Inayos ni Denver ang mamahaling scarf na nakapalibot sa kaniyang leeg. He looks fresh today, even with the darkening circles under his eyes brought upon by the demands of work I left behind when I went home to La Union.

"Pag-iisipan ko pa, Denver..." ani ko. A girl walked past us. Nahagip ako ng tingin niya at nagtagal ito sa akin. Bumagal ang lakad niya. Then her face lit as recognition dawned on her face. Inayos ko ang nakabalot na head scarf at bahagyang tumungo.

"Well, you better think fast. I can't keep them waiting for nothing. But as you may know, the production company is expecting a positive response from you..."

Sa isang iglap ay bumalik sa dati ang buhay ko. The regular shooting continued, and I was offered some clothing brands to model. I accepted what I can, and went home dead tired every day.

While Philodemus, on the other hand, is busy for his upcoming concert. I tried talking my way out of Denver to get me to free my schedule for even two days but he can't do anything. Masyado na akong maraming pinalampas. Ayaw niyang umalis ulit ako. Albeit I am dying to watch his concert live, I can't do anything about it.

"Don't worry about it..." aniya sa akin, isang gabi habang nakahiga ako sa couch at nakatitig sa kisame. I pressed my phone to my face, imagining about his handsome face again. Tahimik ang buong condo unit maliban sa boses kong mahinang nakikipag-usap sa nobyo. "This is my last tour before I go back to Philippines for the Araneta concert."

"Hmm..." I sighed and miserably hugged my pillow. Sobrang namimiss ko na siya. I missed being kissed and touched by him. Gusto ko siyang makasama ulit.

"Facetime?"

I giggled and said yes. Pinatay ko ang tawag at mabilis na tumayo. Tumakbo ako sa salamin upang suriin ang sarili. I had a few seconds to comb my messy hair and put some gloss on my lips before my phone vibrated.

Clearing my throat, I answered his call and his face appeared on the screen, looking craggily handsome. Mukhang nakahiga siya sa isang recliner, suot ang isang puting oversized na hoodie. I blushed when I realized I'm just wearing my satin sleepwear, and with no bra on. My pearls are surely visible with the thin layer of soft cloth.

Itinaas ko ang phone nang bahagya upang mag-focus ito sa aking mukha. Then I walked barefoot towards my waiting couch and plopped down with a bounce.

"You about to sleep, love?"

Ngumisi ako na parang bata sa kaniya, saka marahang iniling ang aking ulo.

"Anong oras na..." medyo pagalit pa niyang wika sa akin.

Ngumuso ako. "Wala pa tayong sampung minuto nagkakausap eh..." angal ko naman sa kaniya.

He sighed. His cruel jawline clenched lightly as he stared darkly at me.

"Go to sleep." He commanded.

"I'm not even tired—"

"Seriously, Stormie. Go to sleep. Maaga ka pang magigising bukas at alam kong may shooting ka. You need to get proper rest, baby..."

My body rebelled against me. Pagod na nga talaga ako. Hindi ko napigilan ang paghikab. Kaagad ko namang itinikom ang bibig ko sa kahihiyan when I saw him watching me with an amused expression on his face.

"See?"

"Fine..." umirap ako sa kaniya. "Matutulog na ako."

"Saw your photoshoot for your latest clothing endorsement today." He suddenly informed me. "You look hot."

"Thanks." I giggled.

"But not as hot as when you're spread out on the edge of the pool..."

Uminit nang husto ang mga pisngi ko sa sinabi niya. "Philodemus!" I scolded him.

He chuckled sexily, my phone producing his rich baritone voice from across the country.

"Seriously, Stormie... matulog ka na."

"Oo na." Pagsuko ko sa kaniya. Nakarinig ako ng ingay mula sa likuran niya. Nakita ko pang dumaan si Alec at pabirong sinapak ang kaniyang ulo. Nagmurahan sila at nagtawanan, bago niya ibinaling ulit sa akin ang atensiyon.

"I'll go to sleep. Call you tomorrow?"

"Of course, baby..." he said.

"Good night." Nahihiya ko pang wika sa kaniya.

"Yeah..."

"I'll turn this off."

"Okay."

Lumunok ako at nag-iwas ng tingin. Ayaw ko pang tapusin ang pag-uusap namin pero wala naman akong magagawa.

"Stormie?"

"Hmm?"

His eyes looked at me tenderly all of a sudden. What he said next left me stricken on the couch.

"I love you, baby... I can't wait to come home to you..."

Kumalat ang init sa dibdib ko. Umawang nang bahagya ang labi ko habang nag-iinit naman ang sulok ng mga mata sa luhang pilit na pinipigilan. With tremblings lips, I replied what he wanted to hear and I fell asleep that night with a throbbing heart, realizing that I really had it bad with him.

My love for him is so intense that my young heart back then couldn't handle it. Now that I've realized how powerful it is... how it controls my every being... I smelled fear.

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata at malungkot na niyakap ang unan.

This is gonna hurt so bad if we fuck this up. If he fucks me up... or God forbid... if he leaves me.

I pushed the sad thoughts away and went to sleep. If I keep on overthinking, I would be rewarded with my old friend, anxiety. And I don't need it right now. Not when everything in my life, for the first time, feels like falling into place.

"I'm dating someone."

Muntik ko nang maibuga ang iniinom kong tubig sa anunsiyo ni Nick sa akin. Nakangisi siyang nakasandal sa countertop ng kusina ko.

"What?"

"I'm dating someone..." he repeated again, and with this time, a smile on his lips.

"Date... not a hook up?" mahinahon kong tanong sa kaniya.

"Yes."

"Woah." Inilapag ko ang baso at sinuri ang kaibigan. "You're really doing dates now?"

"Yes, bitch. I do."

"And? Who's this lucky guy?"

"His name is Rodel. He's an amazing painter. A good guy, Rodel is. Actually, we've been hooking up for months. I've gone astray when I saw Rigor and now we're back to hooking up again... only now that it has a label." He winked at me.

Pinaningkitan ko ng mga mata ang kaibigan. "Tell me you're not dating him to forget Rigor? And a painter? Really?"

He rolled his eyes in the air. "Well, duh. Hindi lang naman siya ang nag-iisang pintor dito sa mundo! And no. I'm not. I think we're having it serious... this time."

"I'm happy for you, then." I reached for his arms and squeezed it.

He grinned at me. "So... you were saying? About this new movie project?"

"Ah, yes." Tumango-tango ako at nagsimula nang ipagtimpla ang sarili ng kape. I came from an early workout today and found Nick already waiting for me in the lobby. He said he wanted to pay me a visit before he'll be gone for a week, an out of town getaway as he'd like to claim it.

"Why won't you take it?"

"Do you think I should take it?"

"Yes! Hell, you should. It's high time we open the minds of the Filipino viewers to these kinds of romantic relationships... you know? Boy to boy and girl to girl...itaas ang bandera ng LGBTQ!"

Tumawa ako sa sinabi niya.

"But kidding aside, I think you'll do great in this movie. Considering the fact that you're an influencer, you might be able to open the minds of the viewers... maybe change their prejudice towards us who belong in this community? Stop the discrimination. That sort of thing. A pretty face and a world-class talent like yours could do good in transforming the status of LGBT community here in our country."

Pinag-isipan ko ang sinabi ni Nick. Isa pa, it would be very unethical of me to decline it just because I'm straight. So what? I guess I could pull it off just fine. And Nick is right. People need to be more open-minded and less narrow-minded. It's what we need in our ever-changing world right now.

We talked for a bit before I was fetched by my bodyguards and manager. I told Denver about my decision while we were on our way to the set, and he clapped his hands in delight.

My day is going just fine when I saw someone I shouldn't in the set. The sight of Callix grinning and talking to a young starlet made my lips curled downwards. Anong ginagawa ng lalaking ito dito?

Binalingan ko si Denver, nagtatanong ang mga mata.

He shrugged. "He auditioned for a special role and got accepted. Don't worry. He'll only appear in three episodes."

Nilingon ko ulit ang kinaroroonan ni Callix at nakaramdam ng iritasyon nang mahagip niya ako ng tingin. His grin widened as he tapped the young woman's shoulders and made his way towards me.

"Hey, Storm. Looking beautiful as ever."

"Hi Callix." I said in a clipped tone.

"Where's your boyfriend?" may panunuya ang tono ng kaniyang boses.

Kinunutan ko siya ng noo. If I know, he has the knowledge that my boyfriend is in Thailand right now for his tour concert with that darn Halsey Wilson.

"He's in Thailand." I answered coldly and tried to ignore him by looking for something I really didn't know in my bag, hoping he'd just go away and leave me alone.

"Is he really in Thailand?"

I dropped my theatrics and furrowed my brows at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh... nothing." Nginisihan niya ako at prenteng isinubsob ang mga kamay sa bulsa ng kaniyang suot na jeans. "But if I were you, I'd keep a lookout on him."

"There's no need for it, Callix. He's not a cheater like you."

"Is he not?" he smirked at me. "I hope not. That will break little Storm's heart."

Iritado ko siyang tiningnan. Hindi na ito dala ng paghihiwalay naming dalawa, but I just realized that I really disliked Callix as a person. Sobrang nakakairita ang pag-uggali niya. He is so full of himself! On top of that, a fucking womanizer!

"Let's just be both professionals and do our best while working, Callix. Shall we?" hilaw ko siyang nginitian bago nilampasan na nagpupuyos pa rin ang dibdib sa iritasyon at galit.

I ignored him as much as I can. Naiirita man ako sa mapang-asar na mga ngiti niya ay hindi ko iyon ipinakita. I smiled sweetly at him, especially now that cameras are all over us. I don't want to stir another issue again.

When the shooting is finally over, I went home silently, nursing a glass of whiskey. Tomorrow is their concert, and I'll be here watching them over a live stream video. Nakakainis na hindi ko siya pwedeng mapuntahan. The goosebumps and euphoria of a live concert is so different of that when you watch it in the screen.

But what can I do?

Philodemus called me that night, asked me how I'm doing. I told him he should get some rest, dahil concert na nila bukas. I feel so miserable not being able to touch him and couldn't even get enough of his voice. But I have to let him sleep. He's tired, I know.

Early morning, I received a text from Nick along with an attached photo of him in a floral polo shirt, and a tall glass of blue lemonade. Nahagip ng tingin ko ang isang matangkad na lalaki. He's tan and fit-looking. Ngumisi ako. I'm sure that's Rodel.

Nick:

Greetings from Palawan. Have a nice day, honey. xx.

Nangingiti akong nagtipa ng reply. I only plan to get the shooting done half a day today, then I would retire to my couch and stream their live video. The concert will start at around 2 in the afternoon. Mabilis akong nagbihis at nagpahatid sa set.

Denver is already talking to someone when I got there. He introduced me to the direktor of the film that I just accepted.

"We'll have to set a meeting this week." Aniya sa akin.

I smiled and nodded my head, commended the script writer, and then left the three of them to work. Callix is his usual asshole self. I ignored him to my delight and went on with work.

"Bakit ka ba nagmamadali?" reklamo sa akin ni Denver habang pinupunasan ko ang mukha ng wipes mula sa makeup na suot kanina.

"I'm going home. Philodemus' concert, remember? Magli-live stream lang ako."

He rolled his eyes in the air. "You are smitten."

I placed down the wipes and stared at my bare face in the vanity mirror. Tapos ay nginisihan ko si Denver.

"More than you could ever tell."

Back in the condo, I am wearing my lacey sleepwear, I had some pizza, gin and tonic and was comfortably sitting at the couch. I pulled myself up when I realized that I haven't got my iPad with me.

Habang nasa kwarto ako ay nahagip ng tingin ko ang kumpol-kumpol na mga papel na hindi ko pa nabubuksan. Those were fan letters. Some are just hate notes and some are death threats.

With a sigh, I randomnly picked one of them and opened the paper to read the contents.

Philo will never be yours. Hindi siya bagay sa isang retokada!

Umarko ang kilay ko at mabilis na nilakumos ang papel. So much for having a good time this afternoon. I don't want their negative vibes. Imbes na patuloy na basahin ang mga hate notes ay lumabas nalang ako ng kwarto dala-dala ang iPad.

I turned it on and connected to the Wi-Fi. Within seconds, I am now live streaming their concert at Thailand.

Nalula ako sa dami ng mga taong dumalo sa kanilang concert. It's being held at the IMPACT Arena, in Bangkok. Siksikan ang mga tao at maiingay. Despite the heat, they are very giddy and cheerful.

Naiinggit akong ngumuya sa biniling pizza kanina. I placed the iPad on my thighs and had started to relax on my couch. There are some interviews of the band backstage. I saw Halsey in her white crop top shirt and army green ripped pants. She waved at the camera while someone is curling her hair.

Philodemus is busy reading something and ignored the camera. While Alec and Arch are making funny faces much to the viewer's delight.

Nakaramdam ako ng matinding excitement nang magsimula na sila. They all hurried from the backstage to the large stage of the arena. Sobrang ingay ng mga tao. I turned the volume down and squinted my eyes at the screen. Hindi ko na rin marinig kung anong sinasabi ni Philodemus sa mic pero mas umingay sila matapos niyang ngumisi at lumayo nang kaunti.

Halsey soon joined him. Banners were now suspended to the air. Tumaas ang kilay ko nang makita ang iilan sa mga banners. They are shipping the two of them! Umikot ang mga mata ko sa ere.

Don't they know that Philodemus is already mine, and has always been since time immemorial?

Nagkatinginan silang lima sa stage at nagtanguan. Philodemus adjusted his electric guitar while Halsey neared the standing mic. She grinned at the audience. When the first note of the song sounded, everyone went wild. The camera angled to the jumping audience for a few seconds, before it was directed to the band again.

The title of the song is You Are My Religion, still included in their Tempestas album. I took a sip of my liquor when Philodemus started singing. Nakabisado ko na ang kanta kaya sinasabayan ko siya rito sa aking condo. Some of their fans are also shouting the lyrics as well.

"'Cuz love ain't nothing in this world is more beautiful than how I worship you..."

I giggled and banged my head a bit. Kung may makakakita lang talaga dito sa akin ay aakalain na nababaliw na ako. Philodemus started jumping, much to his fans' delight. He's topless and his deep V-line is available for anyone who want to drool on the sight of it. The sweat that had dripped from his chin due to the blaring heat made its way to his chest and traced the muscle indention of his abs.

Damn. So hot.

Pati ako ay nagmistulang fan girl habang pinapanuod sila. It was so much fun, but I bet it would've been better if I would be there, jumping along with the fans, and shouting the lyrics from my core.

Philodemus grabbed the bottled water from one of the runners, and took a sip from it. Nag-focus pa ang camera sa pag-inom niya ng tubig, as if he's endorsing it. I swooned at the way his Adams apple bobbed up and down, before he put it down and went back to the mic. He announced that the next song they're going to sing is Young Lana.

Halsey winked at the fans and then they started singing together. Philodemus busied himself with the electric guitar while Halsey is singing the parts of the song for the girl. I admit. The girl's got a talent in music. But that doesn't make up for her bitchy attitude. Nakakapanggalaiti pa rin kapag naaalala ko ang ginawa niya sa akin.

The fans went wild when Halsey stepped towards Philodemus. They're now singing together. She threw her hands in the air, and her crop top shirt revealed her nipples pierced with diamonds. It stirred so much reaction from the wild fans.

Maging ako ay nagulat. She's not wearing bra? Halsey continued jumping up and down, for all the world to see her diamond-pierced nipples. Kinagat ko ang labi at kumunot ang noo. Nakatutok ako kay Philodemus na nakayuko lamang sa kaniyang gitara. He sings every now and then while Halsey is making the fans grow wild!

She's a ball of energy, that Halsey. But even just watching from the screen, I could see that her eyes are bloodshot. Ngumisi siya nang lingunin ni Philodemus. Lumapit siya habang kumakanta pa rin.

Umingay ulit ang lahat sa sunod na ginawa ni Halsey. She tip-toed and reached for my boyfriend's lips.

This bitch.

My lips went into a thin line. Pasimpleng inilihis ni Philodemus ang kaniyang mukha, so her lips landed on the side of his. Pero kung sa ibang anggulo titingnan, mukha talaga silang magkahalikan!

Sa inis ko ay ini-off ko ang Ipad at pabagsak itong ibinalik sa lamesa. I downed my liqour to calm my racing heart. Cursing under my breath, I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.

Anger. Sadness. Betrayal... it's all swirling inside of my chest. I saw how Philodemus avoided her lips. He's innocent. But that Halsey bitch...

I gritted my teeth. She's clothed herself in insecurity that Philodemus is mine and now she's trying to pull a play that would break us up. Naiinis ako. That desperate move of hers is starting to annoy the hell out of me!

Badtrip na ako buong gabi. I didn't even bother to finish the damn live video. Instead, I added another glass of gin and tonic again, until I got drunk quietly. Nakakainis! Nangingilid ang mga luha ko sa mata... I don't want to avenge against her but she is pushing me to my limits.

Nick ringed me that night. Nakita niya din ang live video at pinagmumura si Halsey. I sighed and told him I'd be fine. Maghihintay lang ako sa tawag ni Philodemus pagkatapos ng concert nila.

But he never called.

I fell asleep drunk to the pits last night.

When I woke up, a blaring headache attacked me. Nahihilo pa akong tumayo at nanlalabo ang paningin. I cursed and went to the kitchen. Hinang-hina ang katawan ko at namamalat ang lalamunan.

Preparing myself a cup of chamomile tea, I miserably sat on my kitchen table while watching the sunrise stream through my small windows. After a few minutes of peaceful morning solitude, I got up and then grabbed my Ipad.

I was directed to the MSN homepage. Nanigas ako sa nakita. A large picture of Philodemus being escorted by the Thai police along with the blaring headlines in bold letters:

Notorious rockstar Philo Treveron, arrested for smuggling drugs to his Thai concert