Chapter 12

Trust is a sine qua non for a long-lasting relationship.

I closed my eyes and curled up in the sofa, feeling so miserable. The conversation with Dr. Crisostomo has drained me and I have never felt so agitated waiting for my lab results.

Taj and Tank chased each other and trailed after my feet. Matamlay akong naupo sa couch at isinandal ang likod ng leeg sa backrest. I gazed ceilingward as my thoughts drifted apart.

Hanggang ngayon ay nag-iinit pa rin ang sulok ng mga mata ko sa tuwing naiisip ko ang ginawa ni Mommy sa akin. It's just so... cruel. I'm her daughter, right? No matter how she hates me, she still gave birth to me. We're still blood.

Taj pulled the ends of my cotton pajamas. Napatingin ako sa kaniya. The snow-coated pup wagged his tail and stared lovingly at me. Sa kanilang dalawa ni Tank ay si Taj ang mas malambing. He always wants to be carried and always trails after me if he's not chasing his brother.

I picked up Taj and placed him on my lap while Tank is busy ruining the Oriental rug on the floor. I didn't even have the energy to stop him. Habang hinahaplos ko ang ulo ni Taj ay dumako ang tingin ko sa CD rack sa tabi ng TV station.

Inilapag ko muna si Taj at tumayo. I caught glimpse of the familiar image that had been embedded in my mind a long time ago. Tinitigan ko ang album ng Memento Mori. The black and white photo of my thighs and Philodemus' strong, lean hands. Emotions surged my chest as I continue to stare at the album.

Bumalik ako sa couch nang hindi tinatanggal ang tingin sa album. I sat and Taj automatically curled against me. Flipping the album, my eyes scanned the titles of the songs.

[TEMPESTAS]

Young Lana

That Pink Uniform

Love, Don't Cry

You Are My Religion

Eudaimonia

Die With Me

She Tastes Like Sugar and Berry

If I'm Gonna Be Toxic, Let It Be With You

Pravaedo

My heart pounded wildly. Taj licked my other arm. Napatingin ako sa kaniya. He sniffed me for a bit before he laid on his stomach, asking for a belly rub. I chuckled softly and granted his wishes. I gently caressed his soft belly and gazed at the album in my hands again.

The Tempestas album is playing when Philodemus got home that night. I was sprawled on the couch, with Taj on my side, as I tried to calm myself. I heard his heavy boots tapping the floor and announcing everyone of his mighty presence.

A shadow fell on me as Philodemus placed his hands on the backrest of the sofa and peered at me. He rose an eyebrow upon seeing me and Taj looking like miserable idiots.

"No work today, love?"

"I took the day off."

Raising one powerful leg over the couch, he effortlessly lifted himself and plopped on the upholstered pads. His sudden weight made Taj jumped in surprise, before he wagged his tail in acknowledgement and sleepily dragged himself to the floor.

"Why?" he unconsciously toyed with the bracelet he gave me and then lifted my knuckles to his lips. "Are you sick?"

I hope not.

"No. I just... I wanted to take a break."

He gazed at me darkly, before he slowly nodded his head. By now I think he's thinking about all the things that might bother me, but he kept his mouth shut and chose his words carefully.

"Martin will get the dinner fixed soon."

I nodded my head weakly.

"Something wrong, Stormie?"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya at pagod na ngumiti. I reached for the cruel, rough line of his jaw and gently caressed it.

"Nothing..."

"If you still don't want to talk about it..." he trailed off.

"Your birthday is fast approaching." I said instead.

"Yeah," he shrugged, but the suspicious look never left his eyes. "I'm celebrating it privately at La Union."

"Oh." Umayos ako ng upo at hinayaan siyang igapang ang mga kamay sa beywang ko. He sighed tiredly on my chest.

"It's kind of a family tradition. Mom will lash on my throat if I don't show up there at 27th of May."

I nodded and pulled him closer. "Tell me about your family, Philodemus."

Halata ang gulat sa mga mata nito. He licked his lips to moisten it before he rested his back at the couch. "My family? Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

I bit my lower lips. Nagbaba ako ng tingin. My heart pounded wildly.

"No. This is stupid. I want to ask you something..."

"Yeah?"

The painful memories of that fateful night came rushing back inside of my head. I suck in a deep breath, composing myself before I gaze at him. Seryoso na siyang nakatitig sa akin. No hint of playfulness or amusement in his eyes. His sharp look at me is creating knots on my stomach and I had to keep on pressing my fingers not to fall apart as I asked the question that had lingered inside of my head for a long time.

"Why did you stole my necklace, Philodemus?"

I watched, for a moment, as raw emotions took over his tough handsome face. A grim look fell on his face, as his gaze dropped to his clasped hands now.

"I've wanted to ask you this for a long time..." I murmured. "My mother had lied to me many times. I need to hear the truth. From you."

He nodded painfully and sucked in a deep breath. It's a sensitive topic. One that does not concern the Roman wealth or any petty reasons my mother is accusing him of. I could tell, by the way his face darkened, that this is a very personal and painful to him.

"Joachim Roman killed my parents."

Nanigas ako sa kinauupuan. For a moment, I let his words sink inside of my head, until it made me feel a little dizzy. I blinked.

"What...?"

"He killed my parents, Stormie." Mapait niya akong nilingon. "Your father."

"But..."

"I was there the night my parents were slayed. At our cabin. And... I haven't got a clear view of the killer's face but he was wearing the very same necklace you had when you were eight."

My heart pounded wildly. I'm not sure if I'm ready to absorb this kind of information, or if asking him about this is the right thing but he continued.

"Ron told me all about it. How your father and my father are close colleagues. How they climb their way to politics from just young attorneys. They were close until their friendship fell apart when your father discovered that he is better off without my father. His greed fueled him to kill his best pal and his wife." He shrugged.

Natutop ko ang bibig sa sobrang gulat. "Philodemus..."

"Sidra and Antonio Treveron adopted me. They've had no child of their own. Ron and his three children, Blade, Thyron, and Rigor became my new family. And then there's Silver and lots of other Treverons that helped me to start afresh after the death of my parents."

Hindi ko na namalayan ang pagtulo ng mga luha mula sa mga mata ko.

"I thought... I thought I would  feel better once I've avenged my parents' death. But seeing you..." he laughed shakily. "You ruined all of my plans, Shortie."

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. I broke into loud sobs. It captured the attention of the boys and they both came running to me, sniffing me and wagging their tails in an attempt to comfort me. I suddenly felt Philodemus' strong arms wrapping around my tiny body.

"Don't cry, Stormie. It's your father's fault, not yours." He whispered. "I've abandoned the idea of vengeance a long time ago. I couldn't trade you over my stupid hatred."

"But my Dad..." mas lalo pa akong napaiyak. All these years, I have been living with a murderer and yet I didn't have any idea. What would Shantel or Mom say once they found Dad's dark secret? Or did they know and I'm the only one who doesn't because they think I don't deserve to keep the family's secrets?

"It's in the past." He kissed my temple. "It's a dark chapter of my life. Both of our lives. I don't care anymore if your father killed my parents. Nasa kaniya ang galit ko, wala sa iyo. I couldn't afford to lose you... you know that, right?"

Imbes na kumalma ay mas lalo pa akong naiyak sa sinabi niya. He held me like a baby like and gathering me close.

It was hard not to picture a young scared boy who had witnessed the death of his parents. The trauma that it caused him and the painful aftermath that followed. Living in a house full of strangers, and adjusting his life to survive.

My father had made his life a living hell and stole his childhood away from him. What can I do to fix it? I can't even give him a child!

With my head spinning, thousands of thoughts assaulted my head. I can even picture myself packing my clothes and running away from him. He didn't deserve to be with someone like me. My blood will remind him of his painful past.

But then again, I can't let him go. I loved him so much that I wouldn't mind burning in pain with all the family issues that are trying to separate us from each other. I couldn't leave him. Not in this lifetime. Not even in my next lives. I know in my heart that I would always, always yearn for him. I would always want him.

We're both inlove and crazy about each other. It's insane if one of us leaves. Not after everything we've been through. Mas lalo ko lang ata siyang mamahalin pagkatapos ng nalaman ko.

"What if I can't give you a child?" I looked up at him, a couple of hours later, now that we're in bed and both naked, panting and sweating.

He pulled the sheets to cover my body as I pillowed his bulky shoulders. Hinalikan niya ang noo ko.

"What do you mean?"

"What if... I'm barren?"

"I would love you still." Simple niyang sagot. My chest ached. Tumango ako at ipinikit ang mga mata.

"I need to talk to my mother, Philodemus. There's so many questions in my head right now. I need to go back to La Union and settle everything."

"Alright."

"After everything's talked and fixed, I think I'm going to quit showbiz."

Umangat ang kilay niya sa gulat. I gave him a thin smile.

"I want to be a full-time mum, you know." I kidded.

He chuckled and lowered his head to reach for my lips. "Anything you want, love."

"Pag nakabalik tayo sa La Union... pwede mo bang hanapin si Gwendolline para sa akin?"

"Si Gwen? Bakit?"

Niyakap ko siya at ihinilig ang ulo sa kaniyang dibdib. "I'm going to return the ancestral land that she lost. I'm going to correct my father's mistakes. It's the least I could do."

His entire body tensed at the mention of my father. I wonder if my Dad is aware that the kid of the couple he killed is the one that I'm dating? Kaya galit na galit siya nang malamang may relasyon kami noon at ipinatapon niya ako sa Cremona?

Natatawa ako sa pait. Our family's mess is that of a poorly-written melodrama. All the ingredients are laden on the table, each containing bombs that would ruin all of our lives.

Kabado akong bumalik sa hospital kinabukasan. Dr. Crisostomo greeted me with a nod of acknowledgement. Hindi ako mapakali sa kinauupuan ko. My palms are sweaty. Mariin kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko. Anuman ang sasabihin sa akin ngayon ni Dr. Crisostomo, kalmado ko itong tatanggapin at pag-uusapan namin ni Phiodemus mamaya.

"I've got the lab results." Bahagya niyang itinaas ang papel bago ito iniabot sa akin. "As luck would have it, none of your major organs were damaged by the pill."

I nodded my head carefully. Hindi pa rin nawawala ang kaba sa dibdib ko.

"If my hunch is right, the Tramadol is neutralized with something else. Pwede mo bang sabihin sa akin kung sino ang nagpapainom sa iyo noon? Ang sanatorium ba?"

Matagal akong nag-isip bago sinagot ang doktor. "Ang mommy ko po..."

Hindi niya maitago ang gulat sa mukha. Her calm, elegant face lost its composure for a fleeting moment before she cleared her throat.

"Your mother...?"

I nodded my head. "We have a complicated relationship."

"I see..." she murmured.

"Bakit po? Mamamatay na ba ako?" biro ko, at tinawanan pa ito. Mukhang hindi naman ito nagustuhan ng doktora. Her lips tugged downward.

"Well... if it's really your mother who made you take the pills, I can't think of any reason why she would want you to be barren. She wanted you infertile. And... distort your thinking." Bahagyang tumawa ang doktora. "But of course, this is just a hunch. Sinong nanay ba ang makakagawa ng ganyan sa kanilang anak?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. Humigpit lamang ang hawak ko papel at tumango.

"I can't have a baby, doc?" nanghihina kong tanong.

"You can still have a baby, Storm." The doctor said seriously. "And we're going to call your pregnancy a miracle."

I planned to have a talk with him later on that night but we got drowned with an event. The record company decided to throw the band a party for the success of their album, Tempestas.

It would be weird if I'm not going to attend, so instead of going back to the penthouse, I went to a boutique to buy myself a nice dress for the party.

While I'm fixing the pearls on my ears, the door to our bedroom opened. Sumilip si Philodemus at nagtagal ang tingin sa akin. I smiled at him through the reflection of the vanity mirror.

"Hi."

"Hey..." he stepped inside and shut the door behind him, looking so craggily handsome in his tux. Huminto siya sa likuran ko. He ran his warm fingers on the emerald satin fabric of my dress while staring at me darkly. "You've always look good in satin."

A thin smile appeared on my lips. Tinapos ko na ang makeup ko at tumayo. Philodemus' hands traced the silk, stopped briefly at the swell of my breasts and then rested his hands on my waist.

"Even on a silk sleepwear, you look so fine."

"Hmm?" nagtaas ako ng kilay. Ang kapilyuhan sa kaniyang mga mata ay bumabalik at nanunukso na naman.

"You know... I've always wondered what was underneath that silk sleepwear when you were still in college."

I blushed with his bold confession and slapped his chest lightly.

"Pervert."

He chuckled. "Yeah... really. You used to wear something like this when you were younger. Until you got older, you still had a habit of incorporating silk in your outfits. And it suited you just fine. You're beautiful. A true Roman."

I bit my lower lips. I know that my being Roman is still a sensitive subject to him, but he talks about it with ease. He knows exactly how to control his emotions. That, or he's just being rational and he does not let his hatred for my father mess with our relationship right now.

"I have no idea how I lasted those years without you..." I murmured as I rested my head against his chest.

"I was watching you."

"Watching me?" umangat ang kilay ko.

He smirked at me. "I had you followed, Shortie. From the night we parted, when you went to US for your surgery, the painful months of recovery, and when you bumped into Denver. The course you took in NYC and how you blossomed in the showbiz industry. I am hiding behind the shadows, watching you grow."

Nangilid ang mga luha ko sa mata. All those years I was trying to find myself, I didn't have any idea that he's still there, watching me silently. There were times when I have completely forgotten about him, because I was so engrossed in my own life, my career, and the first taste of independence.

While he's there. Always there...

"You sure you're telling the truth, Treveron?" pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata. "Because I read the newspaper daily and each time I flip the page to entertainment section, you're always seen with different women."

He chuckled. "A couple of women to keep me entertained, yes." He brushed his fingers lazily over my glossed lips. He frowned, not satisfied, and then claimed my mouth for a full, hard kiss, licking my strawberry scented gloss clean. "But no one tastes this sweet as you..."

I throw my head and laughed lightly. Tugging his arms, I dragged him out of the room before we both get undressed and abandon the waiting party.

Habang nasa limo kaming dalawa ay nakahawak ang kamay ni Philodemus sa akin. He got a couple of drinks even before we arrived at the event. I glanced at him when we stopped for a bit because of the heavy traffic. Then I leaned my head against his broad shoulders and murmured.

"I might not be able to give you a child, Philodemus."

He lit a cigarette before casting me a dark gaze. "What are you now, a doctor?" he kidded and opened the window, blowing thin smoke from his mouth.

"I talked to a doctor."

"And?" ngayon ay nagseryoso na siya at tumingin sa akin.

"My mother made me take Tramadol for three years. She wants me barren."

Nagpakawala ng mariing mura si Philodemus. His rough hands closed over the still lit cigarette and I watched as he crumpled it in his hands with his jaw tensed.

"I've miscalculated your mother." He said in a bitter tone. "Of course she doesn't want you to have a child. She's securing the wealth to Shantel."

Mabigat pa rin ang loob ko. I still can't believe that my own mother can do this to me. Hurt me like this.

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and glanced at me. When he saw that I am now brimming with tears, he threw the ruined stick of cigarette to the floor and cupped my chin with his two fingers.

"Listen to me, Stormie..." he said and gathered me in his arms. "Don't ever think of running away from me just because you can't give me a child. Or your father killed my parents. Or any bullshits that might influence you to pack your things and leave me. Don't." Mariin niyang wika.

Hindi ako kumibo. I just let him hold me and then sighed painfully.

"Your mother cannot separate the two of us. Or our dark past. Even if you change your face a thousand times, I will still be able to recognize you and find you. It's too late to escape, Shortie. I want you and you are mine." Bulong niya sa akin. "Even with a child or not, I'll still want you."

Tumango ako. I let him kiss me to comfort until we arrived at the party. Kinalma ko muna ang sarili bago lumabas ng limo. The media are already gathered and are taking pictures of us. Ikinabit ni Philodemus ang kamay ko sa kaniyang braso. We both entered with the media trailed after us. Naharang lang sila ng security guards and from then on, the flashbulbs of their cameras stopped assaulting my eyes.

Philodemus glanced at me. I smiled at him to assure him I'm fine. Ipinakilala niya ako sa mga kaibigan at mga importanteng tao sa record company. A tall, middle age guy with Hispanic features smiled warmly at me.

"So this is the infamous woman who got our boy smitten, huh? Tempestas..." a sphinx-like grin crossed his lips. "Storm..."

"Nice meeting you, Sir."

He took my hand gladly and glanced at my boyfriend. "Ito na ba yung sinasabi mo, Philo?"

He nodded and snaked his hands on my waist. "My woman, Stormie."

The man burst out laughing, but I could see the adoration in his eyes. Ngumiti nalang din ako. Nakihalubilo pa kami sa iba bago kami iginiya sa table namin. The waiter served us champagne. Nakakaisang simsim pa lamang ako ay may lumapit na naman kay Philodemus. The young guy whispered something on his ears and they both grinned boyishly.

Philodemus turned to me. "I'll just play a single round of blackjack. Come with me?"

I nodded my head. Carrying my wineglass, I went with him to an all-exclusive room where a small casino is located. Elite people are seated on long tables, playing pokers with a drink by their side. The vibrant air shifted into a more serious atmosphere when we stepped inside, with wealthy gamblers scattered throughout the room.

A man waved to get our attention. Doon kami nagtungo. I saw their drummer, Pedleston also seated on the table, drawing cards. Naupo si Philodemus sa dulo. An attendant was quick to provide a chair for me. I sat by his side and watched him skillfully draw the cards. The female blackjack dealer smiled at the two of us.

"You brought your luck to the game, Mr. Treveron?"

Philodemus lit another cigarette and smirked at the female dealer, before he nodded and glanced at me. Wala akong ideya kung ano ang nilalaro nila but I've got a feeling that Philodemus plays here a lot. I just don't know if he's any good.

"Not just luck, Kate." He leaned back and stared at his cards seriously, and I know his gambler mode is on. "She's more than just my luck."