Wanted to update yesterday but it didn't happen so abeg mange this.

Khadijah kept her phone by her side after locking it when she heard a knock and salam at the door, she retied the scarf on her head that had moved back showing a bit of her hair, she replied and the person entered.

“Dee,” Abba called the moment the door was pushed open, he walked up to Khadijah ready to tackle her in a hug but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder, he turned to Shaheed with a frown which looked too much like a pout.

“But hamma I-“-the glare he received stopped him and with a resigned sigh and moved to sit beside her on the bed.

“Good morning,” Khadijah greeted Shaheed who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there, he replied in his usual brisk tone though she suspected he was being as nice as he could.

“I hope you’re fine now?” his voice was softer this time but he didn’t make a move to shift from his standstill position a little away from the door, she was sure he would be hit if someone opened the door.

“Yes, Alhamdulillah.” She nodded.

Abba looked as though it was killing him to be quiet turned to his elder brother and then back to her, she wouldn’t have not noticed even if she tried.

Shaheed cleared his throat as if about to talk making her look up but nothing came out, abba discretely tapped her, when she turned he whispered very quietly she had to pay extra attention to hear, that added with reading his lip.

“He doesn’t know how to talk to pretty girls, or any girls at all, actually he doesn’t know how to talk to anyone.” He turned to said person with a too innocent look and smiled, Shaheed who didn’t care about whatever his brother was whispering about cleared his throat again though this time he did talk.

“Layla called this morning and said to come and check up on you because she didn’t believe you were as fine as you said,” he turned to Abba with a frown “He followed for absolutely no reason.” Khadijah nodded slowly not knowing how to reply to that.

“May Allah grant you shifa, abba let’s go.” He said already turning.

“But hamma we just got here.” Abba whined, “I’ll keep her company you go on ahead.”

“Don’t let me talk again.” His tone left no room for arguments. Abba stood up dejectedly and smiled sweetly at Khadijah.

“Get well soon love, I’ll come back soon.” He kissed the back of her hands catching her completely off guard and walked smugly past Shaheed who was still frozen in shock.

Khadijah made a move to pick her phone when she heard Shaheed’s voice again, “Erm,” he scratched the back of his neck “we didn’t know what you like so, erm I hope this is okay.” That was when she noticed the above medium sized basket on the table, he was already out of the door before she could thank him, she only shook her head at that, how he grew up with a large and boisterous family like the Aliero’s and was very antisocial was beyond her.

A few hours after they left, Sadiya and Abdulrahman arrived with breakfast, it was well past nine then.

“Sorry we’re late, we would’ve come earlier but umma had to make a full breakfast buffet.” Sadiya said with an eye roll, “that woman just looks for reasons to cook in large quantity.” She added opening the multiple warmers to dish the food. Khadijah only nodded with a smile, it was true.

“I’m not hungry.” Khadijah said stopping her.

“But you have to eat, just a little since you’re not hungry.” Not heeding to her sister’s protests, Sadiya dished a moderate amount of poached eggs, sausages, brown bread with honey, she kept a cup of steaming black coffee on the tray with a cup of orange juice and she wanted to add a bowl of fruits when she saw an empty bowl on the other table. “Did we get fruits last night?” she asked her husband who shook his head no.

“Abba and Shaheed brought some over, ya Sadiya that’s too much.” She pointed to the tray Sadiya was holding.

“Just eat and when you can’t anymore, let me know.” Sadiya said keeping the tray on the   overbed table, she went and sat by her husband. They kept Khadijah busy through her meal talking about her nieces and nephew, she was laughing too hard at their banter, she loved watching her sister interact with her husband, the love between them would make anyone happy by just watching.

“Baby sis what do you think? She looks better with all these meat on her right?” Abdulrahman pretended he didn’t see the glare Sadiya was sending his way, Khadijah who swallowed the last bite of her breakfast nodded wholeheartedly.

“Both of you should shut up. I look like an elephant.” She whined eyeing her husband, “this is your fault.” She muttered lowly.

“You were a willing participant.” His voice was lower than hers and the amusement in his eyes made her burst into laughter.

“Touché husband, touché.” He blew her a kiss with laughter in his eyes.

“On a serious note ya Sadiya you look amazing when pregnant, you’re normally a duckling but then you get all fair and pretty when you’re pregnant.” Khadijah took her empty cup to her lips to hide her smile.

“Enough about this please, I very much like the slim me more.”

“But I like this you most, I mean just look at you.” Her husband argued giving her a once over in appreciation “You should even thank me.”

“Don’t make me break your hand this second.” Sadiya threatened and if not for the smile on her face you’d think she was serious.

“And who’ll help you open jars if you do that?”

“I’m sure I won’t need you to open a jar for until it heals so I’m good to go.” She smiled smugly while he just shook his head letting her bask in her victory of having the last word but she wasn’t done, “Besides, it’s the slim body you saw that confused you those years ago.”

“It still confuses me.” He muttered winking at her.

Khadijah shook her head at their antics, her mind on her phone. A knock sounded then a nurse entered, a fair petite woman following right after.

“Good morning, I’m doctor Nafisa,” She said with a friendly smile, Khadijah replied her greeting smiling back. “I’m a gynecologist,”

Sadiya and Abdulrahman excused them after making sure Khadijah was comfortable.

“So, I went through your files and even though the doctor suggested more tests, I think you should consider seeing a therapist.” Khadijah stared ahead not saying anything or even acknowledging the comment. “It’s just a suggestion because you’re showing symptoms,” she stopped and looked at Khadijah warmly.

“Have you heard of psychogenic pain?” Khadijah shook her head no not liking where the conversation was heading.

“It’s nothing to be worried about, it can be treated.” There is nothing Khadijah hated in the world more than doctors telling her it’s nothing to be worried about, that was what the doctors said after her surgery when she had her last miscarriage, she complained of incessant pain, they kept saying it was nothing to worry about it’ll stop with time, if not for Dr. Abdulhameed, Abdulrahman’s cousin, she didn’t want to think of what would’ve become of her.

He wasn’t around during and after the surgery, he’d been on break because it happened a few weeks after his wedding but when he returned and noticed she was still in pain, he asked for another test to be done and an x-ray, she couldn’t remember how many test they’d done but they were much and when the result were out, she was devastated.

Abdulhameed stood outside the hospital room thinking of how to break the news to them, he would reach for the knob and then move back, he did that five times or more, he reached out again but before his hands could reach the knob, it was pulled open and he came face to face with his elder cousin.

“Hameed, lafiya?” (Is everything okay?) Abdulrahman inquired seeing how worried his cousin was, “Do you want to go outside and talk?” he asked closing the door so the occupants of the room won’t overhear the conversation.

“No, I’m fine.” He shook his head and forced a smile. Abdulrahman who didn’t believe him let it go, he was an adult and he knew what he’s doing.

The IV drip on Khadijah’s arm was the first thing his eyes went to then back up at her, his heart tugged when he saw the plaster on her forehead and small bandages in other places on her face, he wanted to know which ‘accident’ she was in that time but he didn’t question her. Sadiya was holding a sleeping Aifa in her arms and Baraka was seated at the far end of the room on a call.

“Is everything okay?” Sadiya asked breaking his train of thoughts, he shook his head absentmindedly.

“The results just came back and erm, Khadijah?” said person looked up at him with tired eyes, he sucked in a breath from the effect, what was worst than seeing her married to someone else was seeing her in pain, and the so called husband was nowhere to be seen, he hadn’t even seen him visit even once and it’s been three days since he was back from his leave, it was none of his business, he chastised himself.

“What do you want to ask Hameed? Ko kewan amaryan ne?” (Or are you missing your bride?) Sadiya teased laughing softly so as not to wake the child in her arms.

He forced a smile on his face not replying, she reminded him he had a wife and he felt bad for his earlier thoughts, no, Zahira didn’t deserve this, she didn’t deserve him.

“Haba, daga nan tunani shikenan amarya nake tunani, halan banda rayuwa ne?”(Come on, From thinking then it’s automatically about the bride? Don’t I have a life?) He forced himself to reply with mirth.

“Allah ya baka hakuri ango, ba haka nake nufi ba, toh now please how’s my baby sister, what’s actually wrong?” (My apologies, That was not what I meant)she asked momentarily glancing at Khadijah who’s eyes were glazed and staring at nothing in particular, she hated that empty look in her sister’s eyes.

He cleared his throat deciding it was now or never.

“Though the surgery went well,” he started in a serious voice, “there was a little complication somewhere,” he stopped and looked at Khadijah to find her eyes on him, he took a deep breath then prayed to Allah for courage because he needed it. Realizing stopping every second wasn’t going to help him, he tucked his emotions and let the words flow like he did with the rest of his patients, but Khadijah wasn’t just his patient, she was the woman he loved!

Abdulhameed hated himself for that, wasn’t it enough that he loved a married woman? Now he was a married man in love with someone else’s wife, he muttered astagfirullah under his breath and finally let the words out.

“Abdonimal surgery has it risks you as you know, and fallopian tubes are all in the abdomen and are basically the most important parts of the abdomen because it holds-“

“Hameed please go on without the doctor words, please tell us the important part.” Sadiya cut him off impatiently, she was getting too nervous.

He took another deep breath and continued, “most abdominal surgeries have two outcomes, either the patient comes out fine and the fallopian tubes aren’t blocked or the other way around.”

“What does that mean?” this time it was Baraka who asked, her undivided attention on him.

“Khadijah’s tubes are blocked.”

“Okay,” she nodded, “what is the problem?”

“It causes infertility.” He stated monotonous, it took everything in him to not bolt to wherever it is her supposed husband was and beating the stupidity out of him. He couldn’t help but think, if only he’d told her father he was interested in her from the beginning, she would never have married the stupid man and she wouldn’t be going through this, but this was her qadr, it was his qadr too and he prayed to be able to accept it and pass his tests.

Sadiya looked ashen with pain, shock, fear he couldn’t tell, Baraka looked equally disturbed but Khadijah, she just looked empty, hollow, detached, he could go on and on but she didn’t look like someone who was in touch with reality.

He felt the need to add something he didn’t know for what, to give her hope? To see her reaction? He wasn’t sure but he just needed to see something, “Though the case may sometimes vary and a person can be able to conceive even when the fallopian tubes are blocked, though a little complicated but nothing that isn’t possible.” Sadiya only nodded and with that he prayed for her quick recovery and went back to his office to nurse his broken heart, if it was before he would’ve called in sick and go back home but that wasn’t an option anymore, he had a wife now and that was his reality, a reality he didn’t want to be a part of.

“Miss Sadeeq, are you hearing me?” Khadijah looked up with exhausted eyes, she didn’t want to hear what the woman wanted to say, she just wanted to be in her room, on her own bed. “It’ll really be good for you to see a therapist because the pain is more psychological than it is physical, if everything goes well, you won’t have to see me again.” She finished with a smile, Khadijah mustered the energy to nod and they were out.

Sadiya walked back in almost immediately and Khadijah told her the only thing on her mind.

“I want to go home.” And cry. She added in her mind, Sadiya nodded and replied with she’ll go and see the doctor.

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