☼ ☾ ✩

𝟓... 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐫𝐝

☼ ☾ ✩

"Let me get this straight," Sydney clears her throat from her spot beside me on the bleachers. "The first time you met Matt, you looked like a drowned rat, your dogs ruined his car, and you made a pirate joke. The second time you saw him, Larray told him that you saw a lot of dicks, and then you bumped into a server, shattering an entire tray of glasses. And when you saw him yesterday, you fell over in their kitchen, made a huge mess, showered in his shower, and he gave you his clothes to wear?"

"Yes," I mumble, my eyes glued to Vienna as she races down the field, expertly dribbling the soccer ball at her feet.

"Damn," Sydney exhales slowly, likely in an attempt to hide her laugh. "That's rough."

"Tell me about it," I huff, planting my elbow on my knee to rest my chin in my palm. "He's so fucking attractive, it's kind of killing me."

Sydney snorts in amusement. "I haven't seen you this worked up about someone since Luke."

My face immediately sours. "Way to ruin a conversation."

"Sorry, sorry, my bad," Sydney chuckles. Her laughter fades away, and I can feel her hesitation before she even opens her mouth. "Didn't Matt used to date Jade Miura?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," I grumble, rolling my eyes at the mention of Sydney and I's old high school friend. "That girl is such a tool."

"So isn't it a bit of a red flag that Matt would date her?" Sydney questions cautiously.

"Stop being my voice of reason and let me fangirl over him," I whine, leaning back in my seat to drop my head onto Syd's shoulder. "He's really pretty. And him and Jade only went out for a couple months or something. It was a total accident that the internet even found out, Nick told me that Jade told people online without Matt's permission and word got around."

"That's fucked up." Sydney's gaze is locked on the soccer game, but she moves her hand over to gently squeeze my knee. "Just be careful, okay? I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I wouldn't go out with him anyways. I have bigger priorities." A smile erupts onto my face when Vi kicks the soccer ball into the net, and I launch to my feet to cheer and clap. My sister looks up into the crowd, her grin luminescent when she spots me. I blow her a kiss, which she catches and tucks into her pocket before she refocuses on the game.

Sydney is quiet for a moment as I settle back into my seat, but I know our conversation is far from over. My best friend is great at many things, but letting things drop is not one of them. "It's okay to do things that make you happy too, you know? You do so much for your siblings. You deserve someone to take care of you too."

"Aw, Syd." I reach over to grab her hand, offering her a sincere smile. "I appreciate that, I really do. But I have a lot of reasons to be happy. I don't need a boy to fulfil that."

"Babe, that's not what I'm saying," Sydney shakes her head, her grip tightening on mine. "I know you have a lot of reasons to be happy, but I see the way you hold yourself back sometimes. You deserve the world, and I want you to have every opportunity available to you."

"Thanks, Squidy." I wrap my arms around her in a side hug, planting a dramatic kiss on her cheek to make her laugh. "I adore you."

"I love you, too," Syd chuckles, hugging me back. "But just promise me, if things with Matt do go somewhere, you won't be totally against it? Maybe it could be a good thing."

I snort in amusement, pulling away from our hug to refocus on the game. "You're cute, Syd. Nothing is ever going to happen between me and Matt. And I've also literally met him three times, I barely know the guy."

Sydney hums in acknowledgement, a tiny smirk growing on her face. "I'm guessing you might get to know him a little better."

I shrug, crossing one of my legs over the other. "I mean, we're meeting up in a couple days to film the video for my channel, but I don't know if we'll keep talking after that. I don't even know if he likes me as a person. He probably thinks I'm annoying."

"Well, he just added you on snapchat, so I would say he likes you enough." Sydney nods down to my phone that is sitting on the bleacher seat between us, and my eyes widen when I see the notification that mega_met44 added me.

"Fuck," I breathe, picking up my phone to stare at the notification. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Sydney smirks, raising her eyebrows at me. "What were you saying about nothing ever happening?"

"It's just snapchat," I mumble, putting my phone back down. I'll add him back in a few hours; I can't seem too desperate. Got to keep him wondering.

"For now." Sydney laughs when I glare at her. "Oh, calm down, I'm having fun. I never get to harass you about guys, and you make fun of guys I like all the time."

"Cause your taste is weird as fuck, and you're seeing a new guy every month. There's a lot of material to work with." My nose crinkles as a thought occurs to me. "And you were into Austin, so that's a red flag in itself."

Sydney visibly flinches at the mention of my nineteen year old brother. They had some kind of fling in high school, and it didn't end well. I don't know all the details because Sydney never wants to talk about it, but I know that she had a crush on him since we were kids. Austin left town the day he graduated high school, and dumped Syd on the same day. Similar to the rest of us, she hasn't heard from him since.

"Sorry," I mumble, looking at her out of the corner of my eye. "That was a shitty thing to say."

Sydney shrugs, brushing off my comment. "You're right, it was a red flag."

I don't say anything, but I grab her hand again, reminding her that I'm always here for her. And her responsive squeeze tells me that she's got my back, too. Forever and always.

☼ ☾ ✩

s n a p c h a t

𝗆𝖾𝗀𝖺_𝗆𝖾𝗍𝟦𝟦 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎

𝗅𝗈𝗀𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗈 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄

💌 snap from Matt Sturniolo

💌 Matt Sturniolo sent you a chat

Matt Sturniolo
| What're you up to?

Logan Castillo
| wouldn't you like to know
| LMFAO SORRY joking
| i was at a soccer game and now i'm headed out for dinner
| you?

Matt Sturniolo
| Wouldn't you like to know?

Logan Castillo
| 😐

Matt Sturniolo
| LmFaO sOrRy JoKiNg
| Lmao I'm messing
| I'm out with Chris and Nick. We had a couple meetings today and now going to get food

Logan Castillo
| funnnn

Matt Sturniolo
| You had any happy accidents today?

Logan Castillo
| i accidentally told one of the soccer moms to fuck off, but other than that, it's been a foul proof day

Matt Sturniolo
| I can picture you getting very riled up at sports games

Logan Castillo
| who, me?????
| never. I'm very well behaved

Matt Sturniolo
| I'll believe that when I see it
| Have you decided what we're doing for your channel on Friday yet? Nick said you weren't sure before

Logan Castillo
| tehe
| yes i have

Matt Sturniolo
| Should I be scared?

Logan Castillo
| do you like heights?

Matt Sturniolo
| No

Logan Castillo
| oops

Matt Sturniolo
| Wtf are we doing??
| I don't like heights
| I may cry

Logan Castillo
| rare sighting of matt sturniolo showing emotion *gasps*
| i'll hold your hand

Matt Sturniolo
| As cute as you are, I still might shit myself
| Pls tell me

Logan Castillo
| knowing will just make you more nervous
| i swear it will be fun
| and if you really don't want to do it that's okay. but i've done it before and it's really not scary

Matt Sturniolo
| No hints?

Logan Castillo
| 🥷🏼
| i gotta dip but i'll see you later!

Matt Sturniolo
| Bye sunshine

opened just now

☼ ☾ ✩

r e a l    l i f e

REASONS I CAN'T LIKE MATT

- having a boyfriend is a complication i do not need. i have bigger priorities and nothing can distract me from my job of raising my siblings

- dating another influencer could draw too much attention and that is risky

- he dated jade. yuck.

- he seems to be able to read me too well. it makes me uncomfortable. i have secrets to protect

- he's too hot. it's a legitimate safety hazard. i get in enough accidents as it is

I scowl at the open notebook in my hand. Despite having five very valid reasons to keep my feelings in check when it comes to Matt, I keep replaying little moments in my mind. The way his hand brushed mine at the cafe, sending tingles up my arm. The way he talked to my dogs, like they were real people and deserving of his respect and love. The gentleness and concern drawn across his face after I wiped out in his kitchen. And the unreadable look on his face when I came out of his bathroom in his sweatpants and hoodie. Fuck him for messing with my head.

A sigh escapes my lips, and I glance down to where Mason's head is resting on my lap, sound asleep. He had come home from school visibly upset, immediately setting off warning bells in my head. Unlike his twin, who feels everything with an immense amount of emotion and reacts accordingly, Mason is usually very laid back. He doesn't get upset easily, and it's difficult to get under his skin. So when he is upset, you know it's bad.

He hadn't been very forthcoming about what was bothering him, but I was able to pick up that one of his friends said something that upset him. Since Cam and Kaya were at work and Vi was at a friend's house, I let Mason choose a restaurant to order dinner from and he picked out a movie for us to watch. Upon his request, we sat in my bed to eat and watch, and halfway through the movie, he curled up in my lap, and when I started running my hand through his hair, he quickly fell asleep.

My heart hurts that all my siblings lost their parents, but sometimes I feel like Mason might struggle the most. He looked up to Austin a lot growing up, and it broke his heart when his older brother left with barely a goodbye. Cam and Mason get along fine, but they aren't close. Cam had a great male role model through his primitive developing years since we lived with my uncle after my parents died ten years ago, but now my uncle is busy with his own family, leaving Mason with limited male role models in his life. I do everything I can for my siblings, but I will never be able to offer them everything they need. And that breaks my heart.

The quiet buzz of my phone beside me distracts me from the heavy emotions settling around my shoulders, and my pulse jumps when I see that Matt sent me a chat.

☼ ☾ ✩

s n a p c h a t

💌 Matt Sturniolo sent you a chat

Matt Sturniolo
| What's your number

Logan Castillo
| wouldn't you like to know?

Matt Sturniolo
| I would. That's why I'm asking

Logan Castillo
| party pooper. i was being funny

Matt Strurniolo
| I'm rolling on the floor
| Phone number. Now.

Logan Castillo
| you're so bossy calm down
| xxx-xxx-xxxx

opened just now

☼ ☾✩

r e a l   l i f e

My eyebrows fly to my hairline when my phone starts ringing with a call from an unknown number. He wouldn't. Would he?

"Hello?" I hesitantly answer the phone, my voice hushed so I don't wake Mason. He's a deep sleeper, so I'm not worried, but I don't want to disturb him.

"Hey, sunshine," Matt's familiar low voice filters through the phone.

"Hi," I whisper, continuing to run my fingers through my brother's blonde locks. When Mason and Vi were born, I was jealous that they got my Australian mother's beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. Now, I'm thankful to have gotten my father's Mexican genes, and I love that my family is a perfect blend of our parents.

"Why are we whispering?" Matt's voice lowers an octave, sending shivers up my spine.

"My brother is sleeping," I answer without thinking, my gaze fixed on Mason's face. He looks so much younger, more innocent when he's asleep.

"You just have one brother, right? The hockey player?"

I grit my teeth when I realize my mistake. Fucking hell. I forgot my number one rule: never mention my family to anyone outside of my inner circle. And Matt fucking Sturniolo made me slip up for the first time ever, and I've barely known him a week.

When I started gaining popularity on social media when I was sixteen, I decided that I wasn't going to include my siblings in any of my content. I already knew that I was going to fight for custody when I turned eighteen, and I didn't want to give the court any reason to tell me no. Even after I gained custody, I continued to keep my siblings out of the spotlight. If anything goes wrong, they will be the first thing I lose, so it's safest to keep them separate from my job.

However, Cam has made a bit of a name for himself in the hockey world over the last year. He's been offered scholarships to various universities to play on their hockey teams, and is known for being one of the best young players in LA. So when he gained his own spotlight, I started letting him be in my videos, surprising my fans, who all thought I was an only child.

Sometimes, I can't believe that my secret has managed to stay under wraps for so long. You would think that people would figure it out, whether from seeing me in public, or any of the kids from my siblings' schools putting it together, but no one has. And I intend to keep it that way.

I hesitate for a moment before I answer Matt. "Yeah, just the one brother. Camden." It kills me to lie, and realistically I know that Matt wouldn't do anything with the information. But I've discovered that when people find out that my parents died in a car accident when I was only ten years old, leaving me and my five siblings to be raised by my uncle, and now I have custody and am currently in charge of raising four of my siblings, it evokes pity. And the last thing I want is pity, especially Matt's.

Not wanting to have to keep lying, I abruptly change the subject. "Why did you call?"

Matt is silent for a moment before he speaks up, his voice lined with an edge of vulnerability. "Can you please tell me what we're doing tomorrow?"

I chuckle quietly, amused by Matt's manners. "I promise it's not that scary."

"Logan." The single word is spoken as a warning, which normally I would roll my eyes at, but it's the slight shaky breath that Matt takes after speaking that catches my attention.

"Paragliding," I answer softly, craning my ears to hear Matt's breathing. "I booked us to go paragliding."

"Remind me what that is?" Matt questions almost nervously.

"You sit on a little seat and go for a ride in the air." I try to phrase the words to make paragliding less scary. "A parachute supports you, and the pilot can steer. There's no falling involved. It's pretty peaceful."

"I don't like heights," Matt grumbles.

"Do you want me to cancel it?" I ask gently. "I don't mind. We can do something else instead."

Matt hesitates for only a moment before answering. "No." The word is firm. "I'll be fine."

"Let me know if you change your mind. No questions asked."

"I'll be fine," Matt repeats, sucking in a deep breath. "Fuck, you probably think I'm a pussy now."

"Not at all." I keep my voice soft, both for Mason and Matt's sakes. "Having fears makes you human. And I appreciate you being honest with me instead of pretending to be tough about it."

"What are you scared of?" Matt questions, matching my soft tone.

"I don't do well in small spaces," I admit. "Also not a big fan of sharks. However, I've been looking into swimming with sharks because I want to get over that fear. But I don't think I can handle trying to conquer my claustrophobia yet."

"Scared of sharks, yet wants to go swimming with them," Matt muses. "You're either insane, or really fucking brave. And I'm betting it's the second option."

My lips curve up into a smile, my chest warming at the compliment. "You can be really fucking brave, too. We'll conquer our fears together."

"Together," Matt repeats thoughtfully. "You'll see me cry tomorrow, and then I'll come with you to swim with sharks and see you cry then."

"Deal," I grin. "Do me a favour and don't tell Nick and Chris we're paragliding. I want to film their reactions."

"Deal," Matt agrees. "See you tomorrow, Sunshine."

"Goodnight, Matt," I whisper before disconnecting the call and immediately reopening my notes app to read over my list of reasons not to like Matt. Fuck, I'm screwed.

☼ ☾ ✩

i m e s s a g e

logan
hey adventure buddies!
i will be at your house to pick you up at 7am. don't be late or i will murder you.
wear long pants and a jacket! it may get chilly

chris
7 AM??????????
YOU'RE JOKING
If adventuring always occurs this early, I'm tapping out pretty quick

nick
7am is crazy
And chilly??? What, are we going to play with penguins in Antarctica?

logan
early bird gets the worm!
i wish we were going to antarctica, that would be awesome
and you should be grateful, i almost had to pick you up at 6am but there was a cancellation so i could bump our appointment up an hour

nick
Appointment????
Wtf are we doing???

logan
you will find out tomorrow ;)
hope you like heights!

chris
Oh fuck

nick
Matt hates heights
Speaking of.
Matt, don't be a loser. Join the conversation

matt
I'm here
And don't worry, I'm already shitting myself

logan
we are going to have so much fun!!!!!
i am pumped
see you all bright and early!

chris
Remember when I said I love you?
I think I actually hate you

nick
I second that

logan
sleep tight!! you're going to need it for all the insane, dangerous activities we are partaking in tomorrow
you might want to say bye to your parents beforehand just in case
(matt i'm totally joking pls don't be scared)

nick
You're insane

logan
insanely awesome, insanely pretty, insanely funny, insanely cool, insanely brave...
oh, you know that, someone else told me i'm insanely brave today too. i must be really incredible

matt
And also a little over-confident maybe?

logan
never
confidence saves lives
thought you would know that, mr. i'm cool and always right and nothing ever phases me

matt
I fully just admitted that heights scare the shit out of me??

logan
irrelevant to my point
anyways
we are going to have a blast tomorrow
SEE YOU ALL SOON!!!!!

chris
Is it too late to back out?

logan
it is if you don't want me to call you a pussy

chris
See you tomorrow soldiers🫡

logan
that's what i thought

cara's obsession ♡︎

thank you wattpad for fixing the formatting issues🩷 you have lessened my anxiety by 60%

i hope everyone is having a great week so far!😘

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