☼ ☾ ✩

𝟐𝟕... 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬

☼ ☾ ✩

The first things I am aware of when I wake is the smell of pine and soap, the chest under my head, and the torso that my arm is slung over. Matt. He is holding my hand on top of his stomach, and his deep breaths indicate that is still fast asleep. We are in my bed, which means that Matt must have carried me here after I passed out in his arms on the couch last night.

I quickly become aware of another body pressed into my back, and I automatically assume it is one of the dogs, but when I peek over my shoulder, Vienna's long blonde hair is unmissable. She is curled against my back, and Kaya is squished into the small space between Vi and the wall, her arm wrapped protectively around her little sister's waist.

A loud snore that I know is not from Matt catches my attention, and I carefully lift my head from Matt's chest to peek at the rest of my room, and the sight before me is enough to bring a smile to my face. Mason is tucked against Matt's other side with his head resting on Matt's bicep, and beyond the edge of the bed, Cam is sprawled across the carpet on my floor. He is the one who is snoring, and his chest is rising and falling as he breathes heavily. He is lying flat on his back using one of my stuffed animals as a pillow, and Joey and Chandler are curled into his sides, one on his right and the other on his left.

Matt's breath catches for a moment, and I tear my gaze away from my brother just in time to see my boyfriend blink his eyes open. When he notices me hovering above him, a sleepy smile crosses his face, and he lifts his hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Morning, Sunshine."

"Morning," I whisper, a tiny smile on my own face. "Did you know that they were all in here?" I gesture to my siblings, and Matt's smile widens when he notices my entire family in my room.

"Vienna came in right after I brought you to bed, but everyone else must have come after I fell asleep." Matt gently pulls me back down to rest my head on his chest, and I don't fight the action, content to stay in his arms for just a little bit longer. "How did you sleep?"

"I had a dream that we bought a house that was practically in the woods, but it was a really close walk to the cutest little town." My voice is quiet, whispering my dream that I wish was reality into existence. "There was a river behind it that we could swim in, and a huge yard for Chandler and Joey. Cam and Kaya didn't live with us, but Mason and Vi were there, but a little older. We were married, and I was pregnant. And we were all sitting on the porch eating dinner, and Chris and Nick were there too, and everyone was laughing and happy. It was wonderful."

"That sounds heavenly," Matt murmurs, his lips against my forehead. "A couple years and that could be reality."

I tilt my chin up to look at Matt, and my pulse ticks with nerves as I meet his gaze. "What are your dreams for the future?"

"Everything that you just said." Matt smiles at me before he kisses my nose. "But most of all, I just want you. You're my dream."

"You're too good to be true, Matthew Sturniolo," I whisper in awe. "You're my dream too."

"Are you guys always this sappy and disgusting?" Kaya groans from behind me, her voice clogged with sleep.

"I bailed you out of jail, you can't give me shit," Matt shoots back calmly, and I bury my face into his arm to stifle my giggles.

"Kaya was in jail?!" Mason exclaims in shock, lifting his head from Matt's arm. "Did you murder someone?"

"Yeah, I fucking murdered someone," Kaya deadpans.

"Did you do drugs?" Vi's innocent voice chimes in, and I feel her shuffle against my back to face Kaya.

"Or rob a bank?" Mason interjects. "If you did, I think I deserve some of the cut since I made you play that video game with me about robbing banks, and that's probably where you got the idea."

"I didn't murder someone, I didn't do drugs, and I didn't rob a bank!" Kaya exclaims in frustration. "Cam and I were drinking in public and we got caught after he punched a kid."

"And you called Matt?" Mason's brow wrinkles as he glances at my boyfriend.

Matt chuckles softly, but he stays quiet, letting Kaya answer.

"Yeah," my sister says softly. "I did."

"Logan, I know we didn't fight last night, but can you make your post-fight pancake breakfast?" Mason asks hopefully, lifting his head from Matt's bicep to give me his best puppy dog expression. "Since, you know, Cam and Kaya are criminals and need to eat well before they are thrown in jail where they will starve."

"I'll take you with me, you little rat!" Kaya threatens, making Mason duck back down to hide behind Matt.

"Mason!" I exclaim, unable to stop the laughter that spills from my lungs. "Kaya is not going to prison."

"I'll make breakfast." Cam's scratchy voice alerts the rest of us that he is awake, and everyone's gaze shifts to him as he stands up to stretch, the dogs following suit and dropping into downward dog poses beside him.

"You're a terrible cook," Vi states bluntly.

"I can handle the bacon easily!" Cam defends himself. "And the sausages!"

"I'll do the pancakes, since you're so incompetent," Vi sighs as if she is a forty year old mother with five children, making Matt and I giggle quietly.

"I can do the potatoes!" Mason pipes up. "But I will have to share with Chandler and Joey, since I can't handle their begging faces."

"I can chop fruit and make whipped cream," Kaya offers, and just like that, my siblings are all filing out of my room to make a breakfast that I usually make alone.

"This has never happened before," I whisper to Matt, afraid to break the spell that the kids seem to be under.

"I guess I have a good effect on them." Matt grins smugly, and his smile widens when I scowl at him. "They want to impress me so bad."

"I guess we'll have to keep you around." I kiss Matt's cheek before I climb over him to get out of bed. "Come on, we can take the dogs for a walk while the hooligans make breakfast."

Matt is quick to hop out of bed behind me, and I laugh in surprise when he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my shoulder. "I like this life," he whispers as he presses another kiss to my neck. "Waking up beside you, surrounded by kids, walking the dogs..."

I crane my neck to the side to catch Matt's lips against my own, and I smile against his mouth. "Me too. I like it a lot."

But as much as I like living this life with Matt, I like Matt himself a whole lot more. I like him enough that I can feel those three little words on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow them down. Not yet. Not when so much shit just happened and is about to keep happening. Wait.

And so I don't say anything else.

☼ ☾ ✩

After breakfast, Matt drives Kaya and Mason to school while Cam and Vi stay home with me to see Austin. Kaya once again bluntly stated her belief that Austin is still a coke snorting jackass and that she has no desire to see him. Mason, on the other hand, was quiet when I brought up Austin, and simply said that he was going to go to school today. Unsurprisingly, Vi decided to see Austin. Cam says she takes after me in always wanting to see the best in people and give second chances.

And so here we are, Cam, Vi and I, anxiously waiting for our long lost brother to show up on our front doorstep. When the doorbell finally rings, I pause, waiting to hear the sound of Chandler and Joey barking, but when Cam strolls towards the front door without hesitation, I remember that Larray picked up the dogs earlier to take them to have a playdate with his dogs.

My gaze catches on Vi, who is sitting on the couch with her knees pulled to her chest and her face pale with nerves. "You sure you're okay to see him, sweetie?"

Vi nods and gives me a shaky smile.

"I can't believe you have the fucking nerve to show your face here," Cam barks from the front entryway.

I roll my eyes and rub Vi's shoulder as I pass her to greet Austin at the door. Austin and Cam never got along well when we were all kids, so I highly doubt that they will become best friends today.

Austin looks like a deer caught in headlights, and it is clear that Cam is trying to fill the doorway of the house with his body to exert his dominance.

"Cam, let him in." I shove my brother to the side and nod at Austin in greeting. "Austin."

My Irish twin's face washes with relief at the sight of me. "Logan. Thank you for inviting me over."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes again as I usher him inside and shut the door behind him. I honestly am just so fucking done with everyone's bullshit. I'm usually so emotional and I become overly attached or over involved in everything, but now? I just want everyone to fucking leave me alone.

Cam is standing beside me with his arms crossed and a dark glare drawn across his face, clearly not experiencing the same emotional unavailability that I am. Cam is ready for battle, and I don't think I'm going to stop the temper tantrum that I know is coming. Austin deserves it, so good riddance.

"Is anyone else here?" Austin looks around the front foyer hesitantly, his body stiff with uncertainty.

Cam snorts in amusement before shoving Austin in front of him to walk to the living room. "Vienna is. And you better treat her like a princess or I'll break your fucking nose."

Austin stumbles with the force of Cam's push, but catches his balance and moves into the living room. When I step into the room behind him, I am surprised to see Vi scowling at Austin. Austin looks at me uncertainly, but all I offer him is a shrug before I plop down beside my sister on the couch.

"Hi, Vienna." Austin's voice is quiet, and he crouches down in front of the couch to be at eye level with his sister. "It's really nice to see you."

"I can't say the same." Vi turns her nose up snootily, showing her clear indifference at seeing Austin again.

A laugh bubbles up in my throat, but I am quick to cover it with a cough. Cam, however, does not show the same respect, and cackles in amusement.

"Austin, you said you wanted to talk," I raise my voice to be heard over Cam's laughter, and I shoot him a warning look, to which he rolls his eyes. "So talk."

"Okay..." Austin slowly sinks into the singular arm chair, and I don't miss the way his eyes flash with what looks like regret when Cam sits down beside me and puts his arm over the back of the couch behind Vi and I in a protective stance. "I, uh..."

"Spit it out, man, we don't have all day," Cam drawls, his voice oozing with discontent.

"Sorry, I, um, I just wanted to tell you all how deeply sorry I am." Austin exhales slowly and shakes his head before he quickly starts to speak again. "If I've learned anything in the last two years while I've been gone, it's that I took what I had here at home for granted and that I was selfish and cruel to all of you."

"That's an understatement," Cam mutters loud enough for Austin to hear.

Austin doesn't react to Cam's comment, simply continues to speak, his eyes flickering between Cam, Vi, and I. "As you all know, I got mixed up in some shitty stuff after mom and dad died. And I'm not saying that's an excuse for my behaviour, but I think I needed to leave to be able to heal. I was rotting away here at home, still grieving mom and dad, angry with Uncle for not being around much to help raise us, and angry that I suddenly lost my best friend to my four younger siblings."

One of my legs is crossed over the other, and I had been mindlessly tapping my foot in the air as Austin gave his by the book apology speech, but his last sentence catches my attention, and my gaze flies up to meet his. "What?"

"Logan, we were best friends when we were kids," Austin says softly, his eyes locked on me. "You know we were. We did everything together, partly because we were the same age and we had to, but also because we wanted to. But when mom and dad died, you had to grow up. You suddenly didn't have as much time to go surfing or skateboarding or whatever the hell we used to do because you were busy trying to take care of a seven year old, a six year old, and two four year olds. All when you yourself were only ten. But I was only nine, and I missed my best friend."

My chest tightens with emotion, and I know that no matter how much of a hissy fit Cam and Kaya throw, I'm going to forgive Austin. Maybe he is manipulating me, but he is my brother. He was my best friend. And I miss him.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, and I certainly don't blame you in any way." Austin leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, and his green eyes pierce me with their intensity. "And I am not trying to excuse the way I left, but I know now that I needed space in order to heal and grow up. Because while you had no choice but to grow up quickly, I was determined to prove to myself that I didn't need mom or dad, or even Uncle or you, to take care of me. I was hurting and I shut everyone out. And I'm sorry for that."

"Sounds to be like you're just saying what needs to be said to get us to forgive you." Cam raises his eyebrows, clearly unimpressed with Austin's speech.

"Why would I be here if I didn't want to be a part of your lives again?" Austin levels his gaze at Cam, still keeping his voice calm. Austin may have been excellent at hurting our family for many years, but unlike Cam, he has always been level-headed. He hurt us by shutting us out and leaving, never by screaming obscenities at us like Cam has done. But Austin left, and Cam always comes home.

Cam does not have a response for Austin, and so when the elder boy rises to his feet, the voice that stops him is not Cam's, but Vi's.

"I have a soccer game on Tuesday," Vi speaks boldly, her gaze fixed on Austin. "If you want to prove that you're back for good, you'll be there."

Austin's face cracks into a wide smile and he nods eagerly. "I would love nothing more."

When neither Vi or Cam say anything else, I stand from the couch to walk Austin to the door.

"How do we know you won't leave again?" I ask quietly, keeping my voice low enough to only be heard by Austin. "You're saying all the right things, but if we forgive you and let you back into our lives, what's going to stop you from walking right back out?"

"You'll just have to trust me, I guess." Austin shrugs lightly, but it's not a shrug of indifference. Rather, it is a sign that he is saying that he has said what he came to say, and the rest lies with me and our siblings. Will we invite him back into our lives? The choice belongs to Cam, Kaya, Vi, Mason, and I, and us alone. "Thank you for having me over, Logan. It means a lot."

I smile softly at Austin and reach forward to gently touch his forearm before he can slip out the door. "It's nice to see you."

Austin hesitates in the doorway, and I know what he is going to say before the words can leave his mouth. "About Sydney..."

"Stop," I interrupt him immediately. "I want us to focus on us, not you and her. You and I weren't in contact, so I wouldn't expect to know who you were dating. I am not upset with you about that."

"But Sydney..."

"I understand that you two are apparently together, but what happens between her and I is currently none of your concern." I smile tightly and rest my hand on the edge of the door, indicating that I am ready to shut it in his face. "Thank you for coming, Austin. Please be in touch."

"Thanks, Logan." Austin smiles gratefully at me before he jogs down the front porch steps to where his truck is parked in the driveway.

I breathe a sigh of belief as I close the door, putting distance between myself and the most difficult part of my life right now.

"Uh, Logan?" Cam calls from the living room. "You're going to want to see this."

I groan loudly and drag my feet down the hallway, dreading whatever it is that Cam wants me to see. "Whatever it is, can I just not? I want to take a nap."

"Logan." Vi rises from the couch to grip my hand when I enter the living room, and the uncertain look in her eyes washes away my reluctance. "It's Jade."

Anxiety floods my body and I am quick to sit back on the couch beside Cam, who angles his phone towards me. It is open to Jade's tiktok page, where she has just posted a new video. She is sitting in front of a white wall strung with fairy lights, and an evil smirk is stretched across her face. Cam presses play on the video, and Jade's confident voice fills my living room.

"Logan Castillo," she says clearly, her smirk not faltering. "The internet's princess. I know you all love her, and I won't pretend that I don't see why, because she acts all innocent and sweet, but guess what? She's been lying to all of you from the very beginning. And her biggest secret? She has custody of four of her five younger siblings. Their parents died when Logan was young, and now she is in charge of raising her brothers and sisters. Logan is a manipulative liar, and she is not what she seems. Stop supporting that bitch."

When the screen of Cam's phone turns black, I continue to stare at it, my body frozen and my mind spinning too fast for me to keep up. Jade spilled my secrets. The world knows the truth. I could lose everything. I can't lose my siblings.

"Logan?"

I am half aware of Vienna tugging on my sleeve, but I don't look at her. I can't. What if I lose my siblings? What if they get taken away from me? I lied to everyone. I was supposed to keep my siblings a secret. I was supposed to protect them. I failed them.

Vi and Cam continue to speak to me, but their voices become nothing but a distant buzz in the back of my head. Cam and Kaya got arrested. Vi's mental health is deteriorating. Mason is struggling with his studies. I punched Jade. I lied about dating Matt.

Matt. What is he going to think? Will his fans hate me now? Will everyone think I'm manipulating Matt just like I manipulated them? What if everyone thinks that I'm an unfit guardian because I'm a fucking liar?

I am vaguely aware of Cam picking me up off the couch and carrying me to my bed, but the only thing I can comprehend is the thought that my siblings' lives may be ruined all because of me.

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ♡︎

two updates in two days??? who am i??? but now i'll be gone again for the rest of the week lmao see you next weekend 👋🏼

question! favourite sturniolo triplet video! go! the baking ones always make me die laughing and i've probably seen the one they did for larray's channel 5000 times. and the smash or pass videos are silly. i just love a good car video. and any video with nate LMAO

i love you all endlessly! have a good rest of your weekend 🩵

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