☼ ☾ ✩

𝟐𝟓... 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

☼ ☾ ✩

"Do you think God has it out for me?"

"Pardon?" Matt's gaze swings to mine, his eyes widened in shock, before his eyes quickly move back to the road.

I sink lower in the passenger seat of Matt's car, my mind still reeling over the events of this afternoon. Austin showing up out of the blue is one thing, but I don't understand how Sydney could betray me like this. "It just seems like everything is going wrong lately. The troubles with literally every single one of my siblings, the shitty rumours about you and I, Jade causing problems, Luke showing up again, and now Sydney going behind my back with Austin. I feel like someone has it out for me. And I already lost my parents, and we have no extended family close by to help. Am I doing something wrong?"

"I don't think things going wrong in your life mean that God has it out for you." Matt's words are chosen carefully, and I sense the hesitancy in his voice.

"Your mom is Christian, isn't she?" I ask softly, shifting in my seat to better face Matt. "Do you believe in God?"

"Christian mom, yeah. We went to Sunday school growing up, but it didn't really stick for us." Matt shrugs slightly, still seeming somewhat at a loss for words.

I stay quiet to give him a chance to gather his thoughts, but I stretch my arm across the middle console of the car to slide my hand into his, since he is driving with his left hand while his right is splayed across his thigh.

Matt visibly releases a breath when his fingers lace through mine and his lips curve into a tiny smile. "I do think God is real," Matt finally says. "I don't have much faith or anything, and sometimes I worry that it makes my mom sad that my brothers and I don't, but I think God is definitely real. And from my limited knowledge from Sunday school, I don't think he's the kind of God who would punish you."

"I don't know much about God." I rest my head against the headrest as I study Matt's side profile. Despite the whirlwind that is my life, it continues to amaze me that I never fail to feel safe in Matt's presence.

"I don't know much either, but from what I know, God doesn't cause bad things to happen to us, those bad things are just a result of the evil of this world."

"But he puts good things in people's lives, doesn't he?" My nose wrinkles slightly in confusion. "There's all those movies about God saving lives and bringing people out of hard times, so why couldn't he just stop the hard times from happening in the first place?"

"If those bad things didn't happen, then we wouldn't get the movies about the miracles that came out of them, would we?" Matt chuckles at the scrunched up look on my face. "I learned that God allows us to persevere through trials so that we can learn to depend on him and grow closer to him. And it's the sin of the world that causes our problems, not God, and because he loves us so much, he wants us to be able to make our own decisions in hard times: do we try to persevere on our own, or do we turn to him and ask for his help?"

"I'm scared, Matt." My voice is barely above a whisper, but I know Matt hears my voice because his hand tightens around mine. "God or no God, I'm terrified of everything I love slipping away. I can't lose my siblings. They're everything to me."

"I know," Matt murmurs, his eyes not leaving the road as he lifts our conjoined hands to kiss the back of mine. "But we'll get through it. I'm right here with you, okay?"

A fuzzy feeling fills my chest and a small smile grows on my face. "Maybe God isn't sending me these trials, but I think he sent me you. You're my miracle."

Matt makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, and in a flurry of motion, he is suddenly pulling over to the side of the road and climbing out of the car.

I barely have time to question his motives before he yanks open my car door and reaches across my body to unbuckle my seatbelt before he grabs my hand to tug me out of the car.

"What are you doing?" I laugh in surprise, jogging to keep up with Matt's long strides as he power walks down the sidewalk. We're not far from my house at this point, and I quickly realize that Matt is pulling me in the direction of the park. "Matt, what's going on?"

When he doesn't answer, I fall silent and continue to speed walk after him as we enter the park, following him to an overgrown patch of grass along the fence.

The playground nearby is bustling with laughing children, a group of stroller moms are jogging along the path beside us, and a raging game of soccer is being played by a group of teenagers in the field, but all of it becomes irrelevant as Matt drops my hand and crouches to quickly pick a few wildflowers before he drops to his knee in front of me.

And the same time that he drops to his knee, my stomach drops to my feet. "Matt?" I question hesitantly, my voice trembling slightly.

"I'm not proposing, don't worry." Matt's eyes shine with laughter as he links his hand through mine again and extends the flowers up to me with his free hand. "But I am asking you a question."

Goosebumps rise over my skin and the familiar sensation of butterflies returns to my stomach, but the comforting smile on Matt's face soothes my nerves.

"I know your life has been kinda shitty lately and you feel like you're stuck in a hurricane. But I want you to let me be your lifeline." Matt peers up at me, and I don't miss the quiver of his bottom lip or the slight pinching of his eyebrows. "I know we've been fake dating for what feels like ages, but I want it to be real. I want us to be real. I want you to be my real girlfriend, and I want to be your real boyfriend. So can we please be together for real this time?"

I'm already nodding before Matt finishes his speech, and although the cheesy grin stretched across my face is probably enough of an answer, I still find myself tripping over my words to verbally say yes. "Matt, you feel like the realest thing in my life right now. Obviously my answer is yes."

Matt's face breaks out in the biggest smile I've ever seen and he is quick to rise to his feet. His cool fingers rest against my cheeks as he bends his head to reach me, and I twist my arms around his neck and pop up on my tiptoes to meet his lips in a kiss that sends heat rushing through my body.

"Let's go on an adventure," Matt mumbles against my lips, sending shockwaves down my spine.

"But Austin–"

"Is not coming to see you until tomorrow." Matt pulls away from me to look into my eyes, and his hand is gentle as he brushes my hair away from my face. "You can talk to your siblings at dinner. Let's go on an adventure."

A giddy feeling rises in my chest and my head is bobbing in agreement of its own will. "Let's go on an adventure."

ミ i n s t a g r a m 彡

logancastillo posted...

tagged: matthew.sturniolo

logancastillo plot twist: matt planned our adventure today

comments

user THEM KISSING HANG ON WTF
⇨ user sweetie they're 20 and dating, obviously they're going to kiss

christophersturniolo Matt's turning into Tarzan fr

user matt in the last pic 😭😭😭

user SHUT UP BC THEY BOTH LOOK SO HAPPY

larray tarzan and jane who

matthew.sturniolo In our element 🌿
⇨ logancastillo should we just move to the forest?
⇨ matthew.sturniolo Immediately yes
⇨ user guys i think matt found his soulmate 🥹
⇨ user his log cabin and dad dreams are going to come true i'm going to cry

user matt looks like he's lost lmao

jademiura lol i'm still waiting for the breakup post
⇨ user bitch you're only jealous cause that's not you 💅🏼
⇨ matthew.sturniolo @jademiura And I'm just about ready to pay a visit to your father. stfu
⇨ user THE TEA???
⇨ user WHAT IS HAPPENING THIS IS WILD
⇨ user jade can choke she's the worst

nicolassturniolo My favourite coupleeee 🩷🩷

matthew.sturniolo posted...

tagged: logancastillo

matthew.sturniolo 💚🤎

comments

user THE MATCHING KISSING PHOTOS HHAHAHA THEYRE OUT FOR BLOOD

logancastillo i love living life with you 🩵
⇨ matthew.sturniolo Right back at you sunshine 💛

logancastillo i'm still shocked you managed to not fall off that rope swing
⇨ matthew.sturniolo We can't all be clumsy like you
⇨ logancastillo DAMNNN OKAYY i see how it is
⇨ matthew.sturniolo 😎

user matt is so dark green heart coded, @apple we need a new emoji stat

christophersturniolo Boy is so down bad
⇨ matthew.sturniolo Can't deny it

nicolassturniolo Why am I so single wtf

user so when's the wedding?
⇨ nathandoe8 Hopefully not soon cause I still haven't even met Logan
⇨ matthew.sturniolo @nathandoe8 soon !
⇨ user guys did you hear that, matt just confirmed that the wedding is soon HAHA
⇨ user logan's pregnant, they're moving to the woods, the wedding is being planned, what's next??
⇨ matthew.sturniolo @user honeymoon around the world
⇨ logancastillo @matthew.sturniolo STOP FEEDING THEIR DELUSIONS
⇨ matthew.sturniolo @logancastillo ;)
⇨ user these two are going to be the death of me

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ♡︎

^ all of you to me after my month long absence 🫣

soooo... hey 👋🏼  sorry for the long wait lmao. my summer has been ridiculously busy and i've been all over the place so there hasn't been much time for wattpad lol. this chapter is really short, but hopefully it will tie you over until i can pull something more substantial together!

for those of you who are already back at school (which seems illegal to me), i am deeply sorry for you and i hope you are not suffering too terribly yet. for those of you still on summer vacay, ENJOY IT! GO OUTSIDE! PET A DOG! EAT ICE CREAM!

question of the day (which is a selfish question cause i currently have writers block lmao): what is something you would like to see happen in this story? can be regarding any characters or whatever. i've been feeling very stuck lately 🫠

i love you all very much and i'm sorry for making you wait! i promise the next wait won't be as long 😘

🍓 🍓 🍓