☼ ☾ ✩

𝟏𝟕... 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐫

☼ ☾ ✩

"You're really easy to fake-date."

Matt chuckles at my out of the blue statement, and his hand tightens around mine as we stroll through the flea market. "You think so?"

"Yup." I lift mine and Matt's conjoined hands to awkwardly push wind-swept strands of hair away from my face. "We get along, you're not an asshole, and you've got excellent people skills and can read a situation really well." I don't mention that he would be even easier to fake-date if I wasn't so attracted to him.

"You're easy to fake-date, too, minus the fact that you insist on bringing these hooligans everywhere." Matt gestures to my two dogs eagerly scanning the crowded area, their eyes bright and their tongues hanging out of their mouths. Matt is holding onto Joey's leash, and the border collie is sticking close to his side. Chandler, however, is causing my arm significant pain since he is straining against the leash, desperate to greet every person we walk past.

I scoff in disbelief. "Oh please, I know you love them. I saw you sneaking bites of your chicken to them at lunch."

Following Becca and Laura' fake dating plan, Matt and I have made an effort to be seen in public together every few days since we announced that we are together last week. The Halloween party was our first excursion, and although it wasn't a public party, the amount of photos and videos circling social media made it a very successful trip.

Our second excursion was eating lunch at a popular restaurant with Nick and Chris. We had a handful of fans recognize us, and most verbally expressed how cute they thought Matt and I are.

Today is our third excursion. We got lunch at another popular outdoor restaurant, and a fan burst into tears when we were seated at the table next to hers. However, she seemed to be most excited to meet Chandler and Joey, so Matt and I had a chill meal while the girl ignored her family and fawned over my dogs.

As of right now, the internet seems to be divided in their opinions of Matt and I. Matt is still being accused of cheating, but now people are also saying that he is only dating me to save face (which is technically true, but not in the way they think), and that he is going to cheat on me sooner or later. I'm receiving all kinds of hate over any topic you can imagine, but what worries me most is that people are starting to ask questions about my personal life and why I am so guarded. People have become convinced that I am hiding a huge secret and that it is their mission to find out what it is.

On the other hand, there are a large group of people who seem to be obsessed with Matt and I as a couple. The amount of fan pages and edits I have seen declaring that 'Mogan is endgame' is mildly insane.

"They're just so cute!" Matt's voice raises an octave as he grins at Joey and Chandler. "Not as cute as pugs though. I love pugs."

"Pugs are pretty cute," I agree, my gaze wandering the many booths displaying food, jewellery, clothes, art, and various other things. The large tote bag on my shoulder is packed full with a Kings jersey (LA's hockey team) for Cam, a collection of jewellery for Kaya, a pair of sneakers for Mason, and a Taylor Swift sweatshirt for Vi. Matt has a bag on his own shoulder carrying a sweater and a couple graphic t-shirts he bought, my favourite being the one that says 'Cremation is my last hope for a smoking hot body.'

"Where are your siblings today?" Matt questions as he pulls me to a halt so he can inspect a display of rings. "I thought I remember you saying once that you usually spend weekends with them."

"Cam's at a hockey tournament up north, Kaya is working today, and the twins are at the zoo with friends." I graze my fingers over the assortment of silver rings and pick up one that has designs of the sun and the moon. "I like this one."

Matt releases my hand to take the ring from me, his eyes inspecting the carefully designed piece of jewellery before he tries it out for size on different fingers. It settles in a perfect fit on the pointer finger of his left hand, and a tiny grin emerges on his face as his eyes flicker up to meet mine. "Do you just like it because I call you Sunshine?"

"Why do you call me Sunshine?" I counter, dodging his question for the time being.

Matt's lips round in a tiny smirk, clearly noticing my deflection. "I call you Sunshine because you remind me of the sun. You're warm and inviting, and you bring light and joy to the people around you. You radiate an undeniable light, and you make my life more exciting. And you're ridiculously beautiful, just like the sun."

"Fuck, Matt," I mumble, gently clasping his hand to look at the ring again as a blush rises to my cheeks. "To answer your question, I like the ring because it's a pretty design." My gaze shifts back up to see Matt's eyes focused on me with an intense focus. "But I also think that if I'm the sun, you're the moon."

"Any particular reason?" Matt's hand is warm against my own, a welcome comfort from the icy shivers that his gaze sends down my spine.

"The moon is comforting," I say quietly, my eyes returning to the ring. "It's not always visible, but you know it's always there. And it might not shine as brightly as the sun, but it's beautiful in its own way, and that beauty often catches people off guard." I look back at Matt and smile at the light flush colouring his face. "The moon makes me think of someone who is careful with their emotions, and caring to the people they love. Someone consistent and steadfast, someone you can trust. And that's you, Matt. If I'm your sun, you're my moon."

Matt stares at me at a loss for words, seemingly in shock over my opinion of him. I chuckle at his reaction, and use his momentary distraction to dig a couple bills out of my pocket to hand to the vendor across the table. "For the ring on his hand," I gesture to Matt's new ring. Matt instantly snaps to attention and tries to protest, but the vendor is already putting away the money and thanking us for our purchase.

I adjust my grip on Matt's hand and slide my fingers in between his to tug him forward. Joey and Chandler had been inspecting a potted plant at the side of the vendor's table, but they are eager to continue walking when prompted.

"I could have bought that myself," Matt grumbles as he trudges along after me.

"If you haven't figured it out already, I like buying things for people." I adjust the bag full of gifts for my siblings on my shoulder, a small smile growing on my face at the thought of giving them their things when I see them later.

"Do you ever buy anything for yourself?" Matt glances at me as the wind picks up, causing his hair to ruffle.

"I buy myself experiences." I grin at Matt before my gaze catches on a nearby tent. "And books. Holy shit, look at all the books!"

A large white tent is covering countless tables full of books. Similar to the crowds that are swarming the rest of the market, the book tent is buzzing with people browsing. It is a fairly overcast day today and the temperature had dropped overnight, so Matt and I were surprised when we showed up to discover the market crawling with hundreds of people.

Matt laughs and drops my hand, reaching across my body to take Chandler's leash from me. "Go. I'll stay out here with the dogs. And give me this ridiculous bag of gifts. You're going to knock someone out in there with it."

"Really? Thank you!" I beam at him, not waiting for a response before I pop up on my tiptoes to press a lightning fast kiss to the soft skin of his cheek before darting towards the tent. I hear Matt laugh behind me, but my attention is now focused on the multitude of books within reach.

Twenty minutes later, I tromp out of the tent with a bag full of books and a bright smile on my face. Matt is sitting on a nearby bench on his phone, Chandler and Joey lying at his feet. He looks up when I approach and a smile blooms on his face. "You look happy."

"I got so many good books!" I squeal, plopping onto the bench beside Matt. "I bought, like, eight. I couldn't resist."

"Are you going to show me what you got?" Matt raises his eyebrows at me as he tucks his phone in his pocket.

I stare at him for a second, mildly confused. "You want to know what books I bought?" Nobody ever wants to hear about what I'm reading. Chandler and Joey are my go-to when I need to rant about a book, since no one else gives a shit.

"Of course," Matt chuckles, apparently thinking my question is stupid. "I want to know what interests you."

I beam at him and, without thinking, throw my arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. "You're perfect."

Matt sputters in surprise at my spontaneous motion, but immediately hugs me back with his free arm, keeping his occupied hand locked around my dogs' leashes. "Perfect is a bit extreme."

"You're perfect to me," I mumble into his shoulder, the smell of mint and pine drifting up my nose.

Our moment is soon ruined by a chorus of high pitched squeals as another group of girls recognizes us.

"Incoming," I mutter, starting to pull away from Matt. "Better get your acting face on."

Matt's gaze settles on mine, an unrecognizable look in his eyes. "I don't feel like I'm acting."

I startle slightly, Matt's words washing over me like icy water as I realize that he's right. Whenever we've been out in public together, I've never felt like I'm deceiving anyone. Being with Matt is fun and easy, and I wholeheartedly enjoy the days we spend together. None of the things I have said to Matt have been lies, and I don't think anything he's said to me has been untrue. We're playing a game of deception, so why does this feel like the realest thing I've ever been apart of?

I am effectively distracted from my spiral of thoughts as the group of girls approaches us, all of them eager to meet both Matt and I. After talking with them for a few minutes and taking pictures, they head on their way, and I find my gaze settling on Matt as my mind continues to race.

My face must display my confusion because Matt chuckles and reaches out to smooth a crease in my forehead. "Let's go home, my little overthinker."

We are soon loaded in my car, Chandler and Joey in the backseat happily chewing on treats that I picked up from a pet supplies booth we passed on our way out of the market.

"Hey, Matt?" I speak up as I pull out of the parking lot, Matt setting his music up on aux beside me. When he hums in acknowledgement, I ask the question that's been rolling around in my head all day. "Do you want to come over?" When Matt smirks, I instantly scowl at him. "Not like that, jackass. I've just been thinking about how you said that I am hesitant to let you meet my siblings not just because I'm worried about them getting attached, but because I'm worried about myself getting attached." I can feel Matt's gaze glued to the side of my face, but I keep my attention trained on the road. "But no matter what happens, I really want us to stay friends. And I want you to be comfortable sharing whatever with me, which means I also need to be able to share with you. And I want you to know me."

"Hey, Logan?" Matt interrupts my ramble, laughter lining his voice. "I want to know you too. And I want you to know me. So yes, I want to come over."

"Okay," I exhale, my butterflies settling slightly. "Sorry for rambling."

"I like hearing you talk," Matt says simply, clearly unaware of the effect his words have on me.

"My siblings aren't home, but you can see my house." I risk a quick glance away from the road to look at Matt, instantly in awe of the golden light cast over his face from the setting sun. "And I'll feed you dinner."

"I'm hooked." Matt grins at me, his eyes shining.

"I like that you're so close with your brothers," I comment, refocusing on the road. "It makes me feel like you can better understand me."

"I feel the same way about you having siblings." Matt's voice is low and soothing, a comforting presence in the quiet of the car. The only other noise is Mac Miller quietly singing through the speakers and the faint sound of cars passing us on the opposite side of the road. "Family is everything to me, so I'm glad it is to you too."

"Can you tell me more about your family? What are your relationships like with them?" In sharing parts of my own life, I am finding myself desperate to learn more about Matt in return. He may be relatively open, but he is still a mystery that I want to solve. What was his childhood like? What are his dreams? What are his favourite memories? I want to know it all.

"My parents are really great." Matt smiles as he settles lower in his seat. "They've always supported my brothers and I and been incredible role models. My dad loves taking us fishing or golfing, and he's a quieter guy, so we bond in that area. And my mom is seriously the best. She's always been the best, but our relationship solidified, I guess you could say, in my teenage years when my anxiety was really bad. She was always there for me and it meant a lot. It still means a lot."

I stay quiet, letting Matt speak. My eyes are trained on the road as I exit out of the busier part of LA and get on the highway to head home to my small town on the outskirts of the city.

"And my older brother, Justin, is awesome. We weren't super close growing up, but once Nick, Chris and I grew out of our phase of following him around everywhere and being annoying little shits, we got closer. He's a really cool dude."

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Matt glance at me as if to check if I'm still listening. "What about Nick and Chris?" I prompt, wanting him to keep talking.

"I love them to death," Matt smiles softly, his gaze wandering out the window to take in the sky that has exploded with colour since we left the market. The red sun is dipping closer to the horizon and the clouds above are cast in a pink haze. "Chris and I were the closest growing up because Nick separated himself from us, but after he came out and we started youtube together, we all got a lot closer."

I hum in acknowledgement as I adjust my position in my seat, tugging my left leg up to my chest as I keep my right foot steady on the gas pedal. "What are your relationships like with each of them individually?"

"Growing up, I always wanted to be like Chris. Whatever clothes he wore, I wanted to wear. Whatever music he listened to, I started listening to. It annoyed the shit out of him, but he's always been so confident and I never have been. But if I saw that he could do something, I knew that I could do it too."

"You seem confident now," I muse, my voice soft.

"I'm a lot better than I used to be," Matt affirms. "But I still question myself and get stuck in my head far more often than I would like. Which is why I want to get out of my comfort zone more. I feel like that will help my anxiety and just help me grow as a person." Matt pauses for a second, again seeming to question if I am really invested in what he is saying. When I stay quiet, he continues. "As for my relationship with Chris now, we have a lot in common so it's easy to get along. But we're also very different, and sometimes that makes it difficult. But he gives really good advice and he's good at hyping me up."

"And Nick?" I question, my gaze catching on Matt for a heartbeat as I shoulder check to change lanes and get off the highway.

"Nick pisses me off like no one else," Matt chuckles, a smile growing on his face. "And I am very aware that I often flip out at him for no reason. He is very blunt, which can be difficult to handle sometimes, but he's really good at seeing a situation as it is and won't hesitate to call you out on your bullshit. He's really encouraging and makes every situation more fun. I appreciate him a lot." Matt hesitates for a second, his gaze fixing on me. "Are you not bored?"

My brow crinkles in confusion and I quickly glance at Matt. "Why would I be bored?"

Matt shrugs, looking down at his hands. "I don't know. I'm kind of a boring person."

"I don't think you're boring." I frown, concern flooding my senses. "Who told you you're boring?"

Matt shrugs again, exhaling slowly. "I don't know. I'm just... I don't know. I'm quieter than Nick and Chris, and not as funny, and I don't have as many good ideas."

"Matt, that doesn't mean you're boring." I peek at him again, not liking the way he is talking about himself. "I get that it's hard to not compare yourself to your triplet brothers, but just because you're different, that doesn't mean you are less than. They might be better than you at some things, but you are also better than them at some things. People have different strengths and that is totally normal. It does not make you boring. And if it means anything, I've been having more fun with you lately than I do with most people."

"But you're the least boring person I've ever met," Matt says quietly, his eyes locked out the window at the darkening sky. "You go rock climbing and surfing in your free time. I play video games and journal in my free time. I don't get how you don't find me boring."

"Rock climbing and surfing may be things I enjoy doing, but they don't define me. Just like your hobbies don't define you." I choose my words carefully, knowing this moment could mark a shift in Matt and I's relationship. "Yes, I enjoy getting adrenaline rushes, but I also enjoy reading. I enjoy taking my dogs for hikes. I enjoy watching movies. I enjoy the quiet moments where I can just be present. And you give me those moments, Matt."

Without having to look at him, I know Matt is clinging to my every word, and I pray he grasps what I am saying. "My life is constantly on the go between my job and my siblings, and it often feels like I can't catch up. But you make it feel a little easier to breathe. I've been finding that I'm more aware of each moment when I'm with you, rather than the big picture of whatever is going on."

I pause, giving Matt a second to absorb my words before I continue. "If I'm your sun because I make your life more exciting, you're my moon because you remind me what truly matters and give me the courage to be myself when I continuously just want to hide behind clouds. You're not boring, Matt. You're far from it."

Matt is quiet for a moment before he reaches across the middle counsel to grab my hand from where it is resting on my thigh, gently intertwining his fingers through mine. "Can you tell me what you think of me more often?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

I send a quick smile to Matt and squeeze his hand. "I will everyday if that's what you need."

Matt lifts our conjoined hands and presses his lips to the back of my hand, sending shivers down my spine. "You're incredible, Logan."

I blush lightly at the compliment, but I don't get a chance to respond because my house has come into view, and I am instantly caught off guard by the multitude of cars in the driveway and on the street. It seems like every light in the house is on, and teenagers are sprawled across the porch, and the open front door reveals more people filling the inside of the house.

"What the actual fuck?" I mumble, straightening my posture to get a better look. My house is by no means huge; it is large enough to fit my family comfortably, but it is a tight squeeze whenever we have guests, so the fact that I can see a crowd of teenagers dancing in the living room through the large windows is a major red flag. And when I see Kaya spring up from the crowd of dancers to dance on the coffee table, an unfamiliar feeling of fury rises in me. I don't get upset with my siblings often because they are usually well behaved, but Kaya has been giving me a run for my money over the last year.

"I'm going to fucking kill her," I growl, dropping Matt's hand as I park on the side of the street. Chandler and Joey are sitting up to attention in the backseat, their ears perked at the sound of music drifting through the closed car windows.

"Hey, hey, slow down," Matt soothes, grabbing my hand again to stop me from launching out of the car. "Kill who?"

"Kaya. My sixteen year old sister." I glare at the row of teenage boys smoking joints on my front porch. "She told me she was working all fucking day."

"Take a breath," Matt instructs, tightening his grip on my hand. "It'll only get worse if you storm in there and start cussing her out."

"I'm so sick of her doing this!" I groan as I press my head against the headrest of my seat. "I don't know how to help her! She's never home, and when she is home, she doesn't want to talk to me. I get that she's a teenager and she wants to do her own thing, and that's fine, but it's like she wants to test how far she can push my limits."

"Has she thrown parties before?" Matt questions carefully, reaching his free hand back between the seats to pet Chandler, who is whining uneasily.

"I let her throw one for her birthday in the summer, and she had another one sometime last month that I only found out about because one of her friends posted something on instagram and Cam saw it." I scowl at my bustling house. "I've never had to break a party up before. What if she screams at me or something? I don't want her to hate me. But she knows how important it is that we stay out of trouble. If the cops bust this party, we'll both be dead."

"I'm here for you in any way you need," Matt says quietly, his voice sending waves of reassurance through me. "What do you want to do?"

Normally, having someone witness something about my family like this would send me to my grave. But Matt has proven that he is trustworthy, and honestly, I kind of like having him beside me.

I suck in a sharp breath, my gaze shifting to Matt's. "We're going to break up a party."

Matt grins and lifts his hand to tuck my hair behind my ear, his fingers warm against my skin. "Aye aye, captain."

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ♡︎

HONOURS ENGLISH MAJOR WHO???? guys i'm so excited i could cry 😭😭 my first year of uni was general humanities and i had to apply my specialization a few months ago and i've been so scared i wouldn't get in omg. but here we are 🤩 thank you for all the sweet messages on my announcements page, i appreciate all of your support so much 🩷🩷

question of the day: what is your favourite animal and why? i am OBSESSED with dogs. like i have been told by quite a few people that they have never met someone who loves dogs as much as i do. i tend to cry over them a lot LMAO. they're just the best and they match my energy lolll. and they can go on adventures!!

see you shortly for part 2 of this chapter 🫡

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