☼ ☾ ✩

𝟏𝟒... 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐠𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬

☼ ☾ ✩

Days like today are my favourite: blue sky dotted with big, puffy clouds; bright, warm sunshine; birds chirping; a light breeze ruffling my hair. I hiked up to one of my favourite lookout points to film a video, and I am currently sitting on the ground, my camera perched on the picnic bench in front of me. Behind me, the lookout point opens up to a field of green, and mountains border the skyline. Chandler and Joey are stretched out in the dirt beside me, chewing on opposite ends of a long stick.

The mission for today's video is to announce that Matt and I are together. In hopes that the topic would come up naturally, I decided to do a Q&A video. I still haven't been on social media since the photo leaked, but I posted a request for questions a few weeks back and still have those saved.

I work through a variety of prompts, answering random questions like what my favourite foods are (anything breakfast related), what has been my favourite video to film (whale watching in hawaii), and my opinion on olives (absolutely disgusting). I answer more personal questions, such as what my first kiss was like (terrifying and awkward) and what my biggest insecurity is (being good enough for people). And then I stumble across the question that provides an opening.

"What was it like to collab with the Sturniolo triplets?" I read aloud from my phone. A flutter of nerves rises in my stomach, but I push them down. I am the master of deception. I can do this.

My eyes settle on my camera and I let a grin stretch across my face. "Collabing with the triplets was so much fun. I've been a fan of theirs for years but had never met any of them prior to our collab, so it was awesome to get to know them and hang out. I'm telling you guys, they are all exactly the same in real life as they are online," I chuckle, running my hand through my hair to push it out of my face. "I was soooo embarrassed when I literally almost gave myself a concussion during their baking video, but they were all so nice about it. I shouldn't have been surprised since I am a walking disaster. And it was really fun to go paragliding with them. I love giving people the opportunity to get out of their comfort zones and experience what the world has to offer."

I hesitate for a second, my gaze darting to my dogs beside me for comfort. "I also wanted to address the rumours that have been going around about me and Matt." I suck in a deep breath, forcing my pulse to slow as I imagine an armour of steel surrounding me. "The acquisition that Matt is a cheater makes me physically ill. He is probably the most caring person I have ever met, and he would never do anything to intentionally bring someone else pain. I know that the situation is complicated, especially since Jade and I were friends in high school, but I didn't even meet Matt until after him and Jade broke up. I promise you, nothing about the situation is unmoral."

I clear my throat, my eyes dropping back down to my phone in my lap. "And since we're on this topic, the last question I am going to be answering today is if I'm seeing someone. And the answer is yes. Surprise, surprise, it's Matt." I send the camera a casual smile as I shrug. "I'm usually not super open about my dating life, and obviously it's very early to be telling anyone since Matt and I have only been together for a few weeks, but there's not really a point in keeping it a secret now since I know you've all seen the picture. Of course, we could have just let this blow over, but we don't want any unnecessary drama to be circling the internet. Matt is also going to be addressing this in the triplet's video today, and I really hope you guys can respect that we are living our lives in the best way we see fit, and that you can respect our privacy." I blow out a huff of air as I push my hair over my shoulders. "Anyways, enough of this emotional dump! That is it for today's video, I love you guys so much and hope you're all living your best lives!"

☼ ☾ ✩

The dogs and I arrive home a couple hours later, all of us slightly soggy from our improtou swim. I had been leaning over the side of the lake to look at a frog, and Chandler decided that it would be hilarious to push me in. Him and Joey immediately joined me, and I couldn't be mad when the two of them looked so cute doggy paddling through the aquamarine coloured water.

As I am kicking off my shoes into the front entryway closet, the dogs safely trapped in the backyard until I can give them a bath, my phone dings with a new email from Matt labelled 'tell me if this is okay.'

I plop down in the middle of the floor, the tile cool against my sun kissed skin, and click on the video attachment in the email. A smile settles on my face as Matt, Nick, and Chris sitting in their car pop up on my screen, and I am quick to hit play.

"Before we dive into today's video, I need to address something." Matt starts the video off, his voice serious.

"Matt has a girlfriend!" Chris taunts, laughter coating his words.

"Chris!" Nick hisses, not hesitating to roughly nudge Chris' arm.

Matt punches Chris' shoulder, causing the youngest triplet to groan dramatically. "I want to address the rumours about me and Logan." Matt ignores Chris' whining, and his brothers fall silent to let him speak. "I know you've all seen the picture of us, but despite the fact that you don't know the whole story, many of you jumped to conclusions that are not fair to me or Logan. You all know that Jade Miura and I briefly dated a couple months ago, but you only know that information because she told you without my permission. We weren't together long, and it was never serious. I didn't meet Logan until weeks after Jade and I split. I would never cheat, not in a million years, so that rumour is fucking insane. But what bothers me most is all the things everyone is saying about Logan."

Chris and Nick's eyes are focused on their brother as he speaks with confidence, his gaze never straying from the camera. "If you're a fan of Logan's, or if you watched our video with her, you know exactly who she is. She is kind to a fault, always eager to help others, and in love with the world around her. She loves to bring you guys joy, and you know that her biggest wish is to encourage you all to get out of your comfort zones and experience everything you possibly can."

"Boy is so down bad," Chris mutters, immediately receiving two simultaneous punches from both Nick and Matt.

"She also has little patience for nonsense," Matt continues after rolling his eyes at Chris. "She knows what her priorities are and she won't ever get into a situation that doesn't serve her values or the goals she has for herself. I hate that getting involved with me has led to so many people turning on her, but you have to know that none of the rumours are true."

"I mean, one of them is true," Nick interrupts, raising his eyebrows at Matt in the rearview mirror.

Matt rolls his eyes again. "None of the shitty rumours are true. But yes, Logan and I are together. And I desperately hope that you can respect that, and respect Logan. Because she does not deserve your hate."

"And neither does Matt." Chris claps his hand on Matt's shoulder.

"Matt's too cute to stay mad at." Nick reaches his hand through the seats to poke Matt's stomach, making the younger brother scowl and swat his hand away.

"You sound like Logan," Matt grumbles, sinking lower in his seat.

Nick and Chris immediately burst into laughter and the flush on Matt's face deepens.

Even when the clip ends, my eyes stay locked on the black screen for a few moments, my heart fluttering in my chest.

ミ i m e s s a g e 彡

logan☀️
did you mean all those things you said in the video? about me?

matt🩵
Every word
It's okay?

logan☀️
more than okay
i didn't know that's how you saw me

matt🩵
I'll tell you more often then
Feel free to compliment me anytime as well

logan☀️
as if you need the ego boost

matt🩵
From you? I always need an ego boost
-> read by logan

☼ ☾ ✩

"What if I promise not to get attached?" Mason questions as he pushes the shopping cart beside me.

"You always get attached. You cried for two weeks after our week old fish died." I halt to scan the various cereal options in front of me. "Do you want any different cereals this time?"

Completely ignoring my question, Mason continues to pester me. "But maybe you'll get attached too, and then he doesn't have to leave!"

I chuckle at Mason's persistent attitude as I toss a few random boxes of cereal into the cart. "Why do you want to meet him so bad?"

Mason falls silent, causing me to turn to face him, my brow furrowing in concern. "Mas?"

"I miss Austin," he mumbles, staring at his feet. "Cam is too busy to ever spend time with me. And even if he's around, we have nothing in common. Uncle Jakob lives too far away. I have all female teachers. My baseball coach is an asshole. Larray is around often and I love him, but we don't have much in common."

My face softens, immediately understanding why Mason is so desperate to meet Matt. "Okay," I find myself saying, not fully thinking through my decision. Mason needs this. We will sort out any other problems that arise later.

"Okay?" Mason's gaze shoots up to mine, a hopeful twinkle in his eye.

"You can meet Matt, you little turd." I ruffle Mason's hair, grinning at the beaming smile that has grown on his face. "I don't know when I'm seeing him next, but you can come with me when I do."

Mason nods eagerly, a new pep in his step as he prances down the aisle. I shake my head with a sigh as I head after him. This situation becomes more complicated by the second.

ミ i m e s s a g e 彡

logan☀️
hi

matt🩵
Hi sunshine
You okay?

logan ☀️
yeah but i have to ask you something and i don't really want to

matt🩵
Logan what's going on?

logan☀️
can my brother meet you?

matt🩵
Is that it?

logan☀️
yeah

matt🩵
You overdramatic little fuck
Ofc I'll meet your brother
Care you explain why this is so hard for you to ask? I think I know why, but I want to hear you say it
-> read by logan

☼ ☾ ✩

I resist the urge to sigh again at Matt's text. Explaining my feelings related to my family is the one aspect of my life that I am not open about. And that means that when it comes time to share, I have a challenging time opening up.

"Hey, Mas?" I call ahead of me to where my brother is browsing the drink section. "I need to make a call, so I'm going to hang back. But once you get your drinks, we just need to get pasta and then we're done."

"Tell your boyfriend I said hi," Mason chirps without looking away from the sodas in front of him.

I roll my eyes, stepping away from Mason to call Matt. He answers after the first couple rings, and his chuckle echoes through the phone. "Calling to try to get out of having to explain? Or just because you love my voice so much?"

"Neither, you moron," I huff, letting my eyes wander the various food products surrounding me. "I hate texting, so if you want an explanation, I am not typing it out."

"I'm listening." I hear a door shut on Matt's end of the call, and a slight rustling noise as he sits down on what I assume must be his bed.

Despite the open invitation to talk, I find myself falling silent, my throat tightening with nerves. My hands are suddenly clammy, and my teeth sink into my lower lip. Fuck, I'm not used to sharing like this. I don't even know how to start.

Matt picks up on my hesitation, and his voice is soft when he speaks again. "Do you actually want to tell me anything?"

"Yes." The word slips out of me with no hesitation. "I'm just not used to talking about my family. It's not easy."

"Why don't you start with telling me more about your siblings," Matt suggests gently. "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"

I exhale, thankful for Matt's ability to always know the right thing to say. "I have three brothers and two sisters. Austin is nineteen, Cam, the hockey player, is seventeen, Kaya is sixteen, and Mason and Vienna are fourteen."

"Vienna." The name rolls off Matt's tongue. "Like the city?"

"Yeah. We're all named after cities."

"That's really cool," Matt murmurs. "And which brother do you want me to meet?"

"Mason." I lower my voice so my brother doesn't hear his name. "He really wants to meet you."

"But you don't want him too," Matt states simply. He doesn't sound offended, as I was kind of expecting, but at this point, I'm learning that Matt is excellent at catching me off guard.

"No. I don't." I sigh, running my hand over my face. "It's nothing to do with you. I'm just usually very selective about the people in my life that I let into my family's lives. And Mason gets attached really easily. I don't want him to be hurt if this whole fake dating thing goes south."

"And maybe by letting your family get to know me, you are letting me get to know who you really are." Matt's voice lowers, knowing he is treading on sensitive ground. "And by letting me know you fully, you're afraid of getting attached too."

"How do you figure me out so easily?" I whine, moving to follow Mason when he departs from this aisle and heads towards the pasta section. "I can't keep anything hidden from you."

"Does that bother you?" Matt's words sound slightly guarded, as if he is worried about what I might say in response.

I pause for a moment before answering. "Surprisingly, it doesn't. I kind of like that you get me. But I also hate that I like it. So fuck you."

Matt chuckles, and the noise is warm and comforting. "There's no one like you, Logan."

A deep blush rises to my cheeks, and the woman walking past me gives me a concerned look. "I think that you need to even the scales and tell me more about you."

"I'll tell you anything you want to know."

Matt's words send a shiver down my spine, but a crash from around the corner followed up a quiet "fuck!" steals my attention.

I dart into the aisle that Mason just disappeared into, and my jaw immediately falls open at the sight of my brother sheepishly surrounded by boxes upon boxes of pasta. "What the hell happened?"

"I swear it wasn't my fault!" Mason's voice is an octave higher than it usually is, his eyes wide with feigned innocence.

I scan the scene and put together what happened. "You wanted the tortellini from the top shelf but you couldn't reach, so you stepped on the bottom shelf, but lost your balance, and your arm swiped down all the pasta from the top shelf and your foot kicked out the pasta on the bottom shelf."

Mason's face falls, but he quickly recovers and rapidly shakes his head. "No. That is not true. That old lady did it." He points to the other end of the aisle where an elderly woman is driving along in her scooter.

"Clean it up," I order before turning my attention back to the phone. "Matt? I've got to go."

"Are all Castillo siblings so accident-prone?" Matt chuckles.

"Usually just me. And sometimes Mason when he gets lost in his head." I glance at my brother, grinning at the sight of him trying to climb inside the shopping cart to reach the top shelf to put the pasta back. "I've got to go, but long story short, Mason lacks male role models in his life and I think it's been really bothering him lately. And he's seen a lot of your guys' videos and has been begging me to collab with you for longer than any of the fans. He admires you and your brothers, and I really want him to have more guys in his life that he can look up to."

"I'm excited to meet him," Matt says genuinely. "I'll talk to you later, Sunshine."

"Bye, Matt." I am still smiling as I hang up the phone and step closer to Mason. "You're kinda dumb, kid."

"Shut up," he grumbles, precariously balancing in the cart as he places boxes of pasta back on the shelf. "Please help me?"

"Maybe I should start calling you Patrick Star instead of Mason."

"Only if I can call you Barney after the character from how i met your mother because you're being slutty with Matt."

"Mason!"

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ♡︎

this sounds really crazy but sometimes i forget that i'm supposed to be updating LMAOOOO. so you can all thank HoeforStvrniolo7 for reminding me

has anyone watched beautiful disaster with dylan sprouse? this was my reaction while watching it: 🤢🤣🤮🙄😬🤯😳🫢🤢🫣🙂‍↕️ crazy movie. watch if you want a stupid romcom that lowkey turns into an action movie??? it feels like an after remake but the guy is way less toxic than fucking hardin (but the girl is toxic as hell and i hated her!)

question of the day: what is your ideal meal? i really love food so i have a few answers. i absolutely LOVE smoothie bowls (with extra granola), and i love rice bowls, bonus points if they have brussel sprouts and yams. yesterday i had a fantastic brunch with eggs, home fries, toast, bacon, and fruit, and it was fantastic

i'm sick and dying so i'm going to bed. i love you all🩷

🍓 🍓 🍓