22nd August, 2023

I was never there - the weeknd, gesaffelstien

The dreaded night is upon them, Angelica's birthday party. A room filled with all of Sailor's favourite people here to celebrate a woman unworthy. The grand hall stands as a beacon of elegance in the heart of the bustling city. Tall columns adorned with golden accents greet guests as they make their way inside.

The floor is polished to perfection, reflecting the soft glow of the chandeliers that hang from the high ceiling. The room itself is a masterpiece of design, with plush velvet curtains draping the walls and intricate carvings decorating the dark wood panelling. Soft music plays in the background, creating a soothing ambience that envelops the room.

Sailor wanders the hall in a long, black, glittery dress with a daring leg slit. The fabric shimmers under the low light, casting a mysterious glow around her. She moves with an air of confident grace, her every step commanding attention.

"Now tell me why you've been here nearly a month and this is the first we're seeing of you." Sailor turns and is greeted by Rain and his parents.

"Lucio." She fondly jumps into Rain's father's embrace.

"Moo Moo, you forgetting about me?" Rain's mother greets, Sailor with a warm smile.

Sailor wraps her arms around Rain's mother. "Never, Andrea."

"We've missed you." Andrea tenderly embraces Sailor back, playing with her hair.

"Jellybean is it just my daughter who gets all the attention?" Lewis joins them greeting his best friend.

Andrea throws herself at him, excitedly accepting his hug. "Lewis!"

The glee quickly disappears as Andrea looks up towards him. "You left with no word, Lewis."

"You probably have a lot to talk about." Rain leads Sailor away.

Sailor nudges Rain. "You know your dad is a dilf right?" 

Rain nudging her back, rolls his eyes. "I've been told."

"We should talk, Angel?" Rain catches Sailor's swaying arm, stopping her in her tracks.

Sailor hesitates, trying to avoid the obvious. "About?" 

Releasing her arm, Rain faces Sailor towards him. "The kiss."

Avoiding his eye contact, Sailor fixes her gaze on their feet. "It was just a dare."  

Rain lifts her chin, a pleading look in his eyes. "We both know it was more than that."

"I need a drink."  Sailor whirls around beelining for the bar.

Sailor reaches the bar. Leaving Rain far behind, wounded by her dismissal. "I'll have double of the strongest thing you stock."

Sailor feels a tap on her shoulder, she turns to face him. "One of them nights, princess."

Damien Apollo Roberts, standing tall and commanding attention with his slim yet muscular physique, possesses an intriguing charm that draws both admiration and curiosity from those who cross his path. His short, messy auburn hair gives him a wild and dangerous aura. Damien's piercing dark eyes, like bottomless voids, seem to observe the world with a sense of detachment.

Each hidden story within him is mirrored by the heavily tattooed tapestries that adorn his skin, detailing a rich tapestry of experiences. He has a sharp wit and a fearless spirit, always willing to take risks and live life to the fullest. He is fiercely independent and values his freedom above all else. However, he also has a strong sense of loyalty towards those he considers his friends and family. He is adventurous, with a thirst for excitement and new experiences.

Unsure whether to punch him in the face or jump into his arms, Sailor opts for shouting. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Guilt spreads his face. "I had to get away." 

"She adored you and you couldn't even show up to her funeral." Sailor pounds his chest, years of emotion erupting.

Damien stands still accepting her onslaught. "I know."

Sailor continues her assault, her voice cracking. "She needed you. We needed you. I needed you."

"I'm here now, amour."  Damien wraps her in his arms, stroking her back delicately, trying to soothe her soul.

TW: VIOLENCE & DEATH

Burning pile - mother mother

Their heartfelt reunion quickly turns into terror as an armed group storms into the room wearing blood-red masks. The masks they wear are intricate and haunting, each depicting grotesque expressions that seem to mock their prey.

Sailor's instincts kick in, and she hurries to her terrified father and Angelica, ushering them behind her. The masked intruders, armed with menacing weapons and hearts filled with malice, begin to encroach step by step, their heavy boots creating an eerie rhythm on the wooden floor.

Rain watches Sailor across the room as she subtly adjusts the slit of her dress, her hand veering slightly, revealing a sleek, gleaming handgun concealed within her garter. Leaving Rain both bemused and turned on. "Angel, why the fuck do you have a strap?"

Raising the gun Sailor gives Rain a quick look. "Did you want me to explain right now or?" 

Before Rain gets to answer the sound of a bullet rings through the air. Sailor's blood runs cold as she turns to find Isabella screaming on her knees next to a river of blood belonging to their father.

"He doesn't have a pulse, Sailor." Isabella whimpers.

Sailor is paralysed by grief, numbness taking over her body. All she can hear is ringing as she watches her father's blood run towards her. A deep crimson stream staining her soul. The scent of pancakes overpowering her senses.

As the mother and daughter walk into their favourite café, the warm smell of freshly brewed coffee and buttery pancakes fills their noses. It is a typical Sunday morning for them, a routine they have come to cherish over the years. The mother, Scarlet, and her daughter, Sailor, are like best friends and they make it a point to spend quality time together every weekend.

They settle into their usual booth, chatting and laughing as they wait for their breakfast order. Suddenly, the calm and peaceful atmosphere is shattered by the sound of a gunshot. Everyone in the café freezes in fear, not knowing what is happening.

But before anyone can react, another bullet is fired and this time it is aimed at Sailor. Without a second thought, Scarlet instinctively shields her daughter with her own body, taking the bullet intended for her. Chaos ensues as people scream and duck for cover.

As Scarlet lay on the ground, her body wracks with pain. She'd never been afraid of dying, it's inevitable. She promised herself at a young age she'd never fall in love. She wouldn't let anyone love her, her life is too dangerous. She broke that promise when she met Lewis.

She made him promise to never fall in love with her. He broke that promise. Dying is inevitable. Breaking his heart is inevitable. The dying doesn't scare her, it's leaving him alone. Leaving her girls, never watching them break their own promises of falling in love.

Bang.

A second bullet barrels through the sky. Piercing Salior's hip. Falling down next to her mother, their blood entangles. Scarlet prays for her daughter to survive whereas Sailor prays for death. What first started with a sharp pain is now an unbearable burning.

The intense heat radiates through her entire body, causing every inch of skin to feel like it's on fire. With each passing second, the pain intensifies and it becomes harder to breathe. Her heart is pounding, struggling to keep her alive. Every beat sends waves of pain through her body.

"Sailor snap out of it." Rain screams.

Sailor feels cold metal against her temple as Angelica holds her gun to her.  "I've wanted to do that for a long time. Now let's do what I'm here for." Angelica clicks the safety off.

"Careful." Damien growls, pointing his gun towards her.

"Now, now Damien. If we both pull the trigger whose bullet do you think would reach first?" Angelica condescendingly, tuts at Damien.

"Why?" Sailor hisses.

"Taking the role of a gold digger was the perfect cover to lure your lonely father. All I needed to do was flutter my eyelashes. You don't need to know the why, just know it's ending now. Oh, and sweetie Johnathan sends his regards."

Sailor sweeps Angelica's legs from under her, now towering over her, gun aimed straight at her. "You can tell Johnathan to get fucked."

The armed group react quickly, surrounding her. Bullets fly through the air, and Sailor can feel the rush of wind as they whiz past her. Suddenly, a bullet skims her leg, causing a sharp pain to shoot through her body.

Adrenaline coursing through her veins, Sailor doesn't falter. She pulls the trigger, and her bullet finds its mark, hitting Angelica's shoulder with a sickening thud. She screams in pain, a blood-curdling sound that echoes through the room.

Rain, Sky, Damien, Rebel, Storm, Aquarius, Zane and Lucio stand poise and ready, weapons loaded and fingers twitching. Sirens blare in the distance as the masked group begins fleeing out of the room. Dragging Angelica with them. The sound of gunfire fills the air as bullets rain down on the masked group.

The sirens wail, their shrill cry drawing closer.
Bloody bodies lie on the floor as the rest of the mask group succeeds in their escape. Lucio yells. "Rain get everyone out of here, I'll handle it."

"I'm not leaving him." Isabella howls still kneeling in her father's blood.

Sky lifts Isabella while she screams and cries over his shoulder, reluctant to leave her father. "I'm so sorry, Kitten."

Damien pulls Sailor's arm over his shoulder, taking her weight off her injured leg. Numbness beginning to consume her body, he leads her out of the room. "Come on, amour. You did good, Scarlet would be proud of you but you don't need to see this."

listen before I go - billie eillish

Rain walks out onto the patio, and the cool breeze whispers through the air. As he gazes out at the scene before him, his eyes catch sight of Sailor standing in the corner, her shoulders hunched and her body trembling.

At that moment, Rain can sense the overwhelming grief that consumes Sailor's every fibre. Her eyes, normally bright and full of life, now seem dull and empty, as if all the light has been drained from her soul. She is numb. Not in the physical sense, but in a way that cut deep into her soul. It is as if all her emotions have been drained from her, leaving behind an empty shell of a person.

He approaches her, placing a cigarette into her shaking hands. He says nothing as nothing can be said. She watched her mother die in cold blood, the same as she watched her father tonight. She watched her sister's spirit get destroyed.

Allowing him to light her cigarette, she looks up to him, the sparkle gone in her eyes. "Where's Issy?"

Rain lights his own cigarette. "She's in Sky's bed, he got her to calm down a little."

"She'll never be the same, she shouldn't have been there." Sailor takes a drag of her cigarette, her voice void of any emotion.

Rain hesitates placing his hand on her shoulder, too scared to touch her too hard for she might break. "Angel, he is... was your father too. You shouldn't have been there too."

"Exactly, I've watched both my parents bleed out. I know she'll never be the same, never have the same sparkle, never be Issy."  Tears creep down Sailor's face.

"Oh, amour." Damien appears from the patio doors, Rebel close behind.

"Not now, Damien." Rain barks.

"I've got her." Rebel reassures Rain. "Now, my beautiful how about we get you cleaned up?"

Sailor gently nods, trying to sniffle her tears away, allowing Rebel to guide her inside. Leaving Rain and Damien in a stare-off.

TW: VIOLENCE & DRUG USE

can you feel my heart - bring me the horizon

As soon as Rain hears the door shut, he launches himself at Damien. Landing a punch to his jaw, the impact reverberates through the air as Damien stumbles backwards. The anger in Rain's eyes is unmistakable, a fiery intensity that burns like a blazing inferno.

Damien spits out blood. "Okay, I deserved that."

Rain swings another punch. "Okay, maybe that one, I didn't deserve as much."

Their once solid friendship had crumbled under the weight of betrayal and lies, leaving nothing but a shattered husk in its wake. Rain and Damien were like brothers. Rain's parents took Damien in when he was young, treating him as one of their own.  Rain had grown up alongside Damien and the two boys formed a bond that ran deep.

They shared their dreams and fears, supporting each other through life's ups and downs. Rain had always looked up to Damien, admiring his confidence and charisma. He had never doubted their friendship, believing that nothing could come between them.

Damien's mother had always struggled with addiction. Her drug habit had consumed her life, leaving little room for anything else, including her own son. Scarlet found her lying slumped against the cold concrete wall, a needle still sticking out of her arm. Her chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, her skin ashen and clammy.

Beside his mother, he sat quietly, his eyes wide with fear and confusion. He clutched a worn teddy bear to his chest, his small frame shivering in the cold night air. Scarlet's heart ached at the sight of the innocent child caught up in such a tragic situation.

He was four.

Scarlet brought them both back to Lucio's house. Damien's mother, in her drug-induced state, chose the drugs over her own son. She couldn't care for him.

"Why the fuck are you here?" Rain demands.

"Funny, not the first time I've been greeted that way tonight." Damien chuckles. 

Rain snaps. "Cut the shit, Damien. Why are you here?"

"Kai wants to make a deal with Lucio. He sent the twins to meet with Sailor." Damien reveals.

"Absolutely fucking not." Rain growls

"That's not up to you." Damien sighs, massaging his temple. "Rain, don't be stupid. They've got information and you know how valuable that is. Don't let your hatred towards me blur that."

"Hatred. You were like a brother to me, my parents raised you. You left and joined fucking Fury. You betrayed us." Rain scoffs. "You're dead to me."

TW: THIS COULD BE TRIGGERING TO SOME READERS

5th September, 2023

matilda - harry styles

Two weeks have passed since the tragic night of Sailor's dad's death. The funeral had come and gone, a bittersweet mix of devastation and beauty. Unable to face their home Sailor and Isabella have been staying at the pack house.

The walls are painted a deep shade of midnight blue, with patches of graffiti, and sombre quotes adding to the rebellious atmosphere of the room. The dresser is covered in knick-knacks and trinkets, each one a memento from a concert or show. A double bed, draped in black silk sheets, dominates the centre of the room. A collection of plushies in varying shades of grey and black lay scattered haphazardly across the mattress.

A record player sits in the corner. The record player itself is a relic from another time, its wooden frame worn and weathered from years of use. A guitar leans against the wall, its strings missing or broken, a testament to the countless hours spent playing and practising.

"Knock, knock." Sage enters the room. "It was my turn for the clothes run, I've already given Issy hers."

Sailor accepts the clothes from Sage. "Thank you."

Sage offers her a sympathetic smile. "How are you holding up?"

"Truthfully, I've been better." Sailor offers a half smile back.

Sage walks over to the wall, stroking the graffiti. "I see you've added your own art to the wall."

Sailor joins her side. "Who's room is this?" 

"Mine," Sage answers.

"So where are you staying now?" Sailor questions.

"Rain's room," Sage responds.

"Oh... so are you like?" Sailor splutters.

"Together, no. Not in the way you think. We met when we were both in a dark place. Your mother was gone, and you and Isabella left. He was broken." Sage sits on the bed. "I didn't grow up like you or Rain. I was bounced around the foster system. I was seventeen when Storm caught me trying to steal Lucio's car. Storm comes from a similar background to me, he saved me."

Sage has always been a survivor. From a young age, she had bounced around the foster care system, never staying in one place for too long. Tossed around from family to family, never feeling like she truly belonged. From a young age, she had learned to adapt and survive in the unpredictable world of the foster care system. She had learned to fend for herself and sometimes that meant resorting to desperate measures.

One day, Sage found herself in a rundown neighbourhood, feeling the familiar pangs of hunger and loneliness. Spotting a flashy sports car parked on the street, she saw an opportunity. She approached the car, checking to see if the doors were unlocked. Just as she reached for the handle, a voice called out to her.

It was Storm, he saved her. Here was someone who didn't judge her for being a foster kid, someone who saw her as more than just a lost cause. He listened to her story, offering to take her back to Lucio's, she's been with them ever since.

Sage wears a saddened look on her face. "I won't ever be you. He'll always choose you."

murder in my mind - kordhell

As Sailor steps into the room, the overwhelming sight of dozens of computer screens greets her. Each screen displays a different image, ranging from live surveillance footage to lines of code and intricate diagrams, showing the complex web of systems. The hum of the machines fills the air, and secrets whisper in their static. Rain, Isabella and Rebel all huddle around the screens as Sky works diligently, his fingers flying over the keyboards as he breaches one firewall after another.

Rain takes his attention away from the screens, focusing it on Sailor. "We don't need to do this right now."

Fire burning in her eyes Sailor faces the screens."The longer we leave it, the longer these fuckers get away with it."

"Damn right! Sky work your magic." Rebel pats her brother on his shoulder.

"SKY'S YOUR HACKER?" Isabella exclaims.

A smug look spreads on Sky's face. "Yeah hot right? Need to hack into the government because I could do that. Want to own part of the moon? I could hack into NASA and make that happen."

Isabella leans closer into Sky's chair. "What about leaking a cheating ex's bank details?"

"Oh, absolutely. No one treats my Kitten that way." Sky continues typing. "There. That's it. Eden Lillian Knight aka Angelica, Johnathan's sister."

Sky falls silent. The only sound that breaks the eerie silence is the gentle hum of the computers

Rebel gulps. "Oh, fuck."

TW: ALCOHOL ABUSE & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

i can't breath - bea miller

Dread courses Rain's body as he frantically scans the file on the screen. "This is all my fault."

"Rain." Rebel consoles.

"I thought I killed her." Rain stumbles away from them all.

Sailor watches him begin to shake and turn pale. "Rain, what going on?"

"Unlike you, we've always known about Lobos. We've trained from a young age." Sky confides.

Rebel and Sky were always happy with their mother. Their mother was a gentle and nurturing soul. But behind the love of their mother, a dark secret lurked. The family's father, a burly and volatile man, was prone to fits of rage and violence. He would come home drunk most nights, his eyes glinting with a dangerous fire as he lashed out at his wife and children with sharp words and even sharper blows.

Rebel, the eldest of the two siblings, bore the brunt of their father's wrath. She was a spirited and headstrong young woman. She would often stand up to her father, her fists clenched and her jaw set in defiance, taking the brunt of the abuse to protect her younger brother.

Sky, on the other hand, was a delicate and ethereal creature, with a heart as fragile as glass. He would cower in the shadows, his tiny frame trembling with fear, as their father's fury rained down upon them.

And then, one fateful night, everything changed. Their mother had contacted their Aunt Andrea and she was getting them out of there. Their father's fury reached its peak, and he turned his wrath upon Rebel with a ferocity that nearly cost her life.

But amid the chaos, a spark of rebellion ignited within Rebel's heart. With a courage born of desperation and determination, Rebel seized her brother's hand and together they fled into the night, leaving behind their father's cruelty and their mother's tears.

Their mother never made it. Devastated and heartbroken, Rebel and Sky were left numb with grief. Their world shattered in an instant, leaving them with a deep sense of loss. Rebel and Sky found solace in the comforting presence of their Aunt Andrea and Uncle Lucio.

"It was a week after I turned eighteen, my dad got attacked. We caught wind, it was the same man who killed your mother." Rain continues unable to look Sailor in the face, terrified of what she might see in his eyes. "I tracked down where he was hiding. I burst in without checking who was in there. I shot her. Johnathan's sister. I panicked and just left. She was supposed to be dead, we thought she was dead."

"Then she found us in America." Sailor acknowledges.

"I didn't get a proper look at her, to recognise her. I should have recognised her." Rain heaves.

"They set you up, it isn't your fault." Sailor tries to touch him, hoping to comfort him, but he backs away, his body tense with guilt.

"I'm so sorry." Rain splutters, his voice barely above a whisper as he rushes out of the room.

Sailor tries going after him but Rebel stops her. "You need to be here. I've got him."

"He'll be okay, little flame." Sky reaches up and squeezes her arm.

"What I don't understand is why wait all that time? Why not kill us as soon as they found us?" Isabella asks.

Damien enters the room. His dark eyes glint with an egocentric look, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. He exudes confidence and arrogance, and everyone in the room can feel it. "Information. In our world, nothing is more valuable than information."

"I see you haven't abandoned us this time." Sailor scoffs.

The egocentric look leaves his eyes, anguish replacing it. "I told you I'm here now, amour."

"We don't need you to be." Sailor barks.

Damien leaves the room hopelessly, choosing not to fight a losing battle. Sky looks up at Sailor, whirling his chair to face her. "You're mad at him for leaving and not contacting you. Hurts right?"

Realising the pain she must have put him through, Sailor apologises. "Oh, Sky I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you needed your time. Sometimes we all need our time. Even egotistical bastards like Damien do." Sky reassures, his boyish grin lighting up his face.

TW: VIOLENCE, IMPRISONMENT, MURDER, MENTAL ABUSE & ALCOHOL ABUSE

ultraviolence - lana del rey

In the dimly lit basement of an old, abandoned house, the air is thick with musty, stale smells and a feeling of dread hangs heavily in the atmosphere. The only source of light is a flickering bulb that casts eerie shadows across the damp, cracked walls. A man sits tied to a chair in the centre of the room. His eyes dart around frantically at Storm, Aquarius and Zane.

Storm grew up in the foster system with his older brother, Dario. Growing up was never easy for the two brothers. They were placed into the system at a young age after their parents passed away in a car accident. The older brother, Dario took on the responsibility of looking after his younger sibling.

Dario was always seen as the protector in Storm's eyes. He made sure they both stayed out of trouble and did their best in school. They relied on each other for support and comfort in the unstable world of foster care.

As they grew older, Dario knew that he had to do whatever it took to get them out of the foster care system. He worked hard at a local restaurant, saving every penny he could for their future. Storm admired his brother's determination and knew that together, they could overcome any obstacle.

On Dario's eighteenth birthday, he aged out of the foster care system and adopted Storm. However, tragedy struck one fateful night when Dario was gunned down in a senseless act of violence. Storm was left alone, mourning the loss of his older brother and father figure. Finding solace in Lobos.

Aquarius grew up in a mentally abusive household, with parents who were consumed by alcoholism. Aquarius learned from a young age to navigate the turbulent waters of her home life with caution and resilience. The air in their small, dingy house was thick with tension and sadness, a palpable fog that clung to every corner and crevice.

As the only child in this toxic environment, she learned to tiptoe around her parents, never knowing what might set off another explosion of anger or tears. She became an expert at blending into the background, at disappearing into her own world of books and daydreams as a means of escape from the relentless chaos that surrounded her.

Despite the darkness of her upbringing, she clung to a flicker of hope deep within her soul, a stubborn belief that there was more to life than the endless cycle of pain and despair that defined her existence. She found solace in the beauty of the natural world, in the whispering trees and the gentle caress of the wind, in the simple pleasures of a sunrise or a blooming flower. She found hope, she found Rebel. She became her saviour, removing her from the darkest and bringing her to Lobos.

Zane was born into gang life. His Aunt is married to the leader of Lobos. The gang members are family to Zane, always looking out for him and teaching him the ways of the streets. They taught him how to defend himself, and how to survive in a world that was often unforgiving.

They showed him loyalty and respect, values that were rare in the outside world but were ingrained in the gang's code. Despite his upbringing, Zane was never forced to join the gang. But the allure of the streets was too strong for Zane to resist. As he got older, he found himself drawn to the excitement and power that came with being a gang member.

Storm stamps out his cigarette. "Hit him again."

With a fierce determination in her eyes, Aquarius raises her fist and slams it into the man's face, feeling the satisfying crunch of bone as he lets out a grunt of pain.

"Where's Eden?" Zane demands.

"I am not authorised to answer that." The tied-up man, answers emotionless.

Aquarius delivers a swift blow to the man's stomach. He doubles over in pain, gasping for air as tears stream down his face.