- Chapter 94 -

The ride home back to Sherwood was a long and quiet one. Guy seemed to be trapped in his own thoughts every time I glanced over at him on a horse we 'borrowed'. He refused to look in my direction causing me to sigh. It seemed that he was finally able to allow his thoughts to reflect on everything that has happened. The gang hesitated as we near the camp looking towards Robin for reassurance. I smiled softly when he kept going without blinking, heading towards our new home.

One by one we all dismounted as I could see that Robin pulled Kate aside to have a chat with her. They kept glancing in Guy's direction and I knew they were talking about him. I could see everyone was still a bit weary and uncomfortable with the thought of letting their eldest enemy now live with them. Each member headed towards their beds, removing weapons and stolen goods before getting themselves settled. I watched Guy who stood at the entrance rubbing the back of his neck, something he always did when he was uncomfortable.

"So where do you want me to sleep, then?" He asked as everyone paused before looking at him. They all glanced at each other before turning towards me, their eyes unsure of what to do.

"Come with me" I say softly with a small smile as I reach for his hand and guide him away from the camp. He slowly walked behind me as I could hear hushed whispers behind us as we made our way down to the river. Neither of us spoke a word as we drew near the waters edge. It was peaceful to hear the water rushing and the wind ripple through the trees. I know I shouldn't stare but I couldn't help the blush that over came my cheeks as Guy peeled off his black shirt placing it on a rock beside him boots.

He was slow to enter the water at first as I placed my boots on the ground; before he knew it he was waist deep. The water here had a small bank before it got deeper. It was one of the reasons we used this spring, it would be hard to ride horses across and attack. I slowly followed him in; unsure of how he was feeling as he turned towards me. Pain reflected in his eyes as he slowly lifted a hand to run over my healing lip. His touch made me shudder and sigh as I happily allowed myself to enjoy his touch. How I have missed him.

"Esme" His voice cracked.

"Shh. Just relax" I whisper. He looked so defeated; exhaustion was taking hold as I swore the dark circles under his eyes only seemed to get darker. We didn't say another word as he scrubbed of the dirt from his body. After a while we walked closer towards the bank. He sat down whilst I was perched on a higher rock behind him, allowing me to use my dagger to cut him hair. His long mane was knotted and unkept as I continued to run my fingers through it gently acting like a brush. I gently placed my dagger away once I had finished cutting his hair back to the original length he kept it before all this happened. It looked nice all slicked back from the water, curling behind his ears. Sighing happily I let my fingers trail down the front of his chest as I felt his body tense. Hugging him tightly I was afraid if I let go he would disappear from me, as I placed delicate kissing on his forehead and down his neck.

"Esme.......I thought I had killed you.....and all this time. You've been beside me and I didn't even know it." He whispered as his hand gently gripped mine that was around his neck. There was so much pain in his voice. I knew that my 'death' had tormented him, being apart from him had tormented me, but I guess I had been naïve to think I would be able to make this all better.

"Do you remember the time I visited you at night in the castle?" I smile as I gently begin to massage the knots out of his shoulders.

"I thought it was a dream" He sighed as his body began to relax under my touch.

"A good dream I hope" I cheekily grin as he peered up at me with a soft smile in return.

"A dream from heaven with you as my angel"

"Oh Guy. You have no idea how much I have missed you." I whisper holding his face in my hands; caressing his cheeks our eyes remained locked on each other. I saw as he gazed ducked down to my lips briefly and I couldn't help but bite my lip. Slowly leaning for a kiss he quickly turned his head away from me. I was shocked and hurt but I knew he was angry as I saw his fists clench.

"Why did you hide from me?" He growled under his breath.

"It wasn't just you Guy I—"

"Robin knew!" He shouted getting to his feet. He was fuming to think I had trusted Robin over him with my secret. Scrambling to my feet I went to reach for him only for him to take a step back away from me.

"I only told him because he was going to kill me otherwise." I gently responded hoping to calm him down, however I only made it worse.

"I'm going to kill him!" He swore as he began to make his way back towards his shirt. Leaping towards him I grabbed a hold of his arm and pulled him back towards me. It was hard to force him to stop. His strength easily outmatched my own as I grabbed hold of him face, trying to get him to look at me. He grabbed my wrists and wretched them from his face.

"No you're not. You're staying with me!" I shout at him. We were both hurting and we needed each other. He was hurting for the pain of having lost me in the Holy Land. I was hurting from slowly losing him now because he couldn't forgive me. He paused and gazed down at my hand, as I followed his gaze.

"Your engagement ring? How did you get it?" He pointed. The whispers of his words were so soft I almost missed them. The ring had caught light from the sun and seemed to reflect a sparkled pattern on the forest floor.

"I found it before we went to the Holy Land. I never take it off. I love you Guy and if you will still have me I would love nothing more than to marry you." I begged him as I placed my hands on his bare chest, allowing the warmth to flood through my body. He went silent as I searched his eyes for an answer.

"Esme it's not that simple –" Those little words shattered me as I watch him turn away and sit back down on the ground. He couldn't even look at me or bare my touch.

"Please excuse me" My voice sounded foreign to my ears. I felt broken as I could feel my heart drop into my gut. Glancing down at my hand I slowly slid my engagement ring off before placing it on a rock beside him. I had worn that ring for what seemed like a lifetime and my finger felt naked without it. Slowly I turned and scrambled to get my boots on my feet, I had never felt so embarrassed and ashamed.

"Esme! Come back." Guy called out behind me as I grabbed hold of his shirt that was lying on the rock ahead of me. I turned around and threw it at him, as he caught it in surprise. Confusion filled his face, as I knew that the tears in my eyes were threatening to boil over.

"Make sure you are decent before you come back!" My voice felt cold as I stormed my way up back in the direction of the camp. Everyone hardly took any notice of my first appearance, until they saw my defensive posture and my eyes remaining firmly on the ground. Noticing a large pile of unsharpened arrows near Robin's bed I grabbed them before sitting in front of the fire and angrily sharpening them with my dagger. The gang behind me whispered amongst each other speculating what was wrong and who would talk to me first. I could hear the sound of heavy footsteps head in my direction and I knew exactly whom they belonged to.

"Esme"

"I have nothing to say to you Gisborne!" I growled not bothering to look up at him as silence fell over the camp.

"Ouch!" Allan chuckled in the background.

"What happened?" Robin asked.

"Esme is calling Guy, Gisborne now and by the looks of it, something didn't go down well." Allan told him as I felt Guy kneel down beside me. He hand slowly went to touch my shoulder; I could see in the corner of my eye he was keeping his focus on the dagger in my hands. Shrugging him away I needed time to think before I broke down into tears.

"Please, just let us talk-"

"There is nothing more to talk about Gisborne. You don't want to marry me anymore and I don't want to speak to you. SIMPLE!" I realized I was shouting before gasps could be heard around the group. Turning my head in their direction I could see confusion, anger and pity fill their eyes. Robin and John seemed particularly angry as they glare towards Guy. I needed to be on my own, I felt like I was suffocating at this current point of time, scrambling to my feet I stormed past the group hearing footsteps behind me.

"JOHN! He's all yours!" I shout.

"Esme!" Guy shouted after me but I blocked him out. I needed a moment alone. Finding a quiet place amongst the trees I curled up into a ball and allowed the tears to flow. I was foolish to think everything could return to the way it was before the Holy Land. That Guy would still want to marry me after everything I had put him through. I could slowly feel the heat in the air disappear and was replaced by a cool bite in the wind. It was getting late and I had no idea how long I had been sitting in this one spot. I just knew I wasn't ready to face the gang yet. I heard the crunching of leaves coming from the camps direction as I glance up briefly to see Robin. He didn't say anything as he sat beside me and wrapped his arms firmly around me pulling me into a brotherly hug.

"He doesn't love me anymore Robin...." I whisper.

"That's not true. He just needs time to adjust." Robin promised but I shook my head feeling a fresh wave of tears about to break.

"I was childish to dream that everything would return back to normal after what I have done." I mutter as I stare at the ground.

"Hey, it's good to dream, never forget that." Robin told me sadly as he made me look at him. Hearing him remind me of my father's words was the final straw before my tears cascaded down my face. Nothing else was said as he just held me tightly until I was able to calm down. He placed a comforting kiss on my forehead and rubbed my back before he went to get up.

"I'll give you a moment to yourself"

"Thank you." I sniff as I wipe away at my cheeks and try to control my emotions. Five minutes later I hear footsteps again and I thought it was Robin.

"I thought I might find you here" Guy spoke softly. I felt like my voice caught in my throat. I wasn't sure what to say or where to look, so I thought it would be safe to stare at the ground in front of me. I won't deny I was embarrassed for my outburst and I probably overreacted, it wasn't ladylike, but my heart was breaking.

"Esme. Esme I'm sorry. I can't lose you, not again. I should be the one protecting you not the other way round. My pride got the better of me. Please, I was just angry and upset that all this time I could have held you sooner......." Guy began to apologize as he knelt in front and of me and lifted my chin so that I had to look at him.

"Men and their pride. Am I nothing more than a possession that I need to be branded?" I grumble unimpressed.

"No! When have you ever felt that way?" Guy quickly stammered trying to regain control of the situation. Raising an eyebrow at him I scoffed.

"Are you serious? How about the time with Count Frederick? Or when I was the sheriff's performing monkey and watched Dan Scarlett be killed? Do you want me to continue?" As I recalled the accounts to him he hung his head in shame before glancing back at me. He gently took hold of my face and brushed the hair away from my eyes. I loved his touch, this wasn't fair.

"Esme. I love you. That is why I wish for you to wear my ring. A symbol of my unending love to you that not even death cannot break." He promised as I could see love fill his face. A beautiful smile of excitement broke out as he slid his ring back onto my finger. I wasn't going to waste this perfect opportunity of being alone. Boldly grabbing his shirt I pulled him towards me for a kiss.