- Chapter 74 -

Later that evening Prince John had decided to host a big feast for the lords of his court. There was wine, food, jesters, musicians and dancing. Guy had effortlessly won over Prince John's attention and reported all he could of what had been happening in Nottingham since the failed mission in the Holy Land. I made sure to listen to every word regarding Robin and the gang to ensure I knew that they were ok.

As the night grew further on, I began to get bored with the Prince's lame jokes and the old stories that the Lords repeatedly told and the gossip the women shared. Dances were all the same and only entertaining when one of the Lords tripped over a Ladies dress by having too much to drink. Food was occasionally flung across the table as I saw Guy sneak away from the table and out the door leading towards the west corridor.

"Excuse me your majesty" I bowed towards Prince John as he didn't even look in my direction before waving his hand to dismiss me as I followed on after Guy. I found him leaning against one of the walls overlooking the town with an amazing view of the night sky. I was enchanted by the glow of the moonlight on his eyes and hair as I slowly made my way in his direction, making myself known by slightly louder footsteps.

"Not one for ceremonies?" I asked him even though I already knew the answer to it.

"Not in the mood" Guy growled at me, probably hoping I would mind my own business and leave him alone. Well I won't!

"I think I know something that might cheer you up" I instructed as I turned on my heels and began walking down the hall. I grumbled and cursed under my breath as I knew he hadn't decided to follow me.

"Come on!" I called out to him without looking back, knowing that he hadn't followed me. I heard him groan before the sound of his footsteps following me as I chuckled and lead him down towards the palace stables. We didn't say anything and we both liked it that way as I lead him through the rows of horses before the final stall where a black stallion was kept. I slowly unlocked the door and entered cautiously as the horse watched us both enter before slowly sniffing in Guy's direction.

"I have a feeling you take comfort in the company of horses. This is Xavier" I introduced as I knew how much Guy loved his horse Richie at home and prayed that he may take some comfort whilst he was in London with something familiar.

"He's beautiful" Guy whispered as I watched Xavier bow his head at Guy allowing him to stroke his nose and happily neigh towards him and practically rub himself against Guy. It was nice and relaxing to hear him chuckle and smile and he happily petted the creature.

"He likes you, he doesn't like many people" I noticed as I began to brush the magnificent beast he snorted in my direction and lowered his nose for me to delicately stroke him.

"For a man of few words you speak a lot" Guy snorted in my direction with a slight smirk as he crossed his arms over his chest and watched me suspiciously.

"I'll give you credit for finding out about those around you" I admitted.

"Better to know your environment than be kept in the dark." Guy cleverly answered as I smirked and nodded with him in agreement. I continued to brush out Xavier as Guy watched and fed him some carrots before I decided to break the long silence, unable to look upon Guy's miserable face anymore.

"Who was she?" I asked him as he almost stumbled by my sudden question.

"Who was who?" He guardedly growled as I raised an eyebrow at him.

"The woman you loved?" I stated once again as his eyes widened.

"Wha...I.." He struggled to avoid the question but I just chuckled. I knew him too well.

"You may fool many people Sir Guy, but I am one who is not easily fooled on anything. The manner of your dress, attitude even your voice is different. I notice many things and only one person can even influence in a person's life. So I ask again, who was she?" I inform him as I knew Guy too well for him to lie to me, not that he knew that, but still.

"Esme. Lady Esme." He told me with a smile on his face and his eyes distant as I knew he must have been remembering something about me as he chuckled and his cheeks reddened before he turned his face away and coughed turning his slightly scarlet face back to neutral.

"What happened to her?" I asked him casually.

"She died....I killed her" He spoke empty and guiltily. I looked at him and was surprised as I had never seen Guy so heartbroken and saddened which made me feel guilty and empty by what I was about to do.

"Did she betray you?" I casually question him. Testing him really to see his side of how the mission and our relationship and my death went in the Holy Land through his eyes.

"What!" Guy spat back at me as those I had just told him the most insulting thing on the planet.

"Did she betray you? That's the only reason why I would think you'd kill her" I question him again as I remembered that he once told me in Nottingham, that betrayal would lead to my own death.

"NO! No I could never hurt her!" Guy angrily shouted in my defensive that it was beginning to get Xavier agitated so I held him steady before glaring at Guy.

"Yet you did." I bitterly pointed out as he ran his fingers through his hair and paced. His torn look appeared as well as his heartbroken sadness that made me regret bringing up painful memories of myself. But I had to know how he truly felt.

"I never meant to kill her. I wanted to marry her, I loved her. She tried to prevent me from killing King Richard and as I tried to prevent myself from harming her....I..." He tried to explain yet failed as I heard his voice crack. He turned away from me hanging his head as I saw his shoulders shaking slightly which made me even guiltier.

"You ended up hurting her instead." I whisper understanding.

"She haunts me every night. I see her calling out at me, asking why I betrayed her. I promised her I would never hurt her. It's MY fault!" He angrily and sadly cried out and kicking a bucket closest to his feet. His statement angered me as it made me wonder if he knew me at all!

"Did she blame you?" I demanded as I saw that my question had taken him by surprise as he stared at me in shock. His mouth went to open but no words came out as it closed once again causing me to growl in anger.

"Her last words! Did she blame you and curse you!" I shouted at him angrily trying to get him to see reason. I know full well that my last words to him were out of love!

"Don't pretend that you knew her! You know nothing!" Guy shouted angrily at me as he gripped my cloak and shook me slightly before throwing me to the side and storming out of the stables towards the castle. I thought about calling out his name and chasing after him to apologize for insulting my own memory but then I thought I better leave him be. He always was difficult to turn around when he was in one of his moods.

Once I had finished brushing out Xavier I made my way back up to the castle and notices that the Prince's festivities were still continuing in the great hall. Men were drunk now and slurring their words, slipping their wine and struggling to stay on their feet whilst women laughed at their manner. Prince John was clapping and cheering at the jesters and musicians as his lords who were struggling to stay on their feet instead of dancing.

Glancing around the hall briefly I noticed that Guy wasn't around, which meant he must have returned back to his chambers to retire for the evening. Sighing I decided to do the same as I sat on my stool in front of the vanity and removed my hood and mask. I let my fingers trail over my skin and smiled slightly seeing my face in the mirror before I slowly unbraided my hair and brushed it out with my fingers.

Pulling out the leather necklace I removed my engagement ring and placed it on my finger like I did every night, before I stared at it and played with it around my finger. Hearing Lucinda's knock I stayed in my daze as she entered my room and prepared my bed for me until I decided to get a crazed idea. One I may regret but knew I had to do.

"Lucinda, can you fetch me a white gown?" I ask her as she stared at me in shock, blinking at me before nodding her head as though she hadn't heard my request properly.

"I'm sure I can find something my lady" She curtsied before slipping out door. Laying my mask on the vanity desk and my cloak hanging from a hook on the back of the door I began to pace. I untied my sword from my belt and laid it at the foot of the bed. I removed my boots and removed the dagger I concealed in the sole of the boot and slipped it under my pillow.

I must have been pacing for an hour or two at least for the castle grew quiet and the night grew cooler and darker. Eventually Lucinda knocked on the door once again and presented me with the dress I had asked for. I thanked her and dismissed her for the evening before gazing upon the simple white dress only to laugh silently. It was identical to the one I wore in the Holy Land. Long sleeved, round neck line that hugged my figure and ended at my ankles.

I quickly removed my tunic and pants and boots and slipped on the dress and let my fingers brush over the fabric. It felt strange almost to be wearing a dress once again before I bit my lip and closed my eyes before rushing over to the wall before I could change my mind. I found the uneven stone in the wall and pushed it before a secret passageway opened.

I had read about the old passageways from the kingdom library and knew one day that they would come in handy. I had wished that I had brought a torch with me as it was pitch black but was lucky to navigate along the walls with my hands. I heard Guy's distressed drowsed voice calling out causing me to instinctively run towards it. My hands fumbled over the stone before I found the uneven surface and pushed allowing me access to his room.

I noticed him thrashing about on his bed, clutching the sheets with tears down his face calling out my name in pain. I ensured that the entrance to his room behind me closed and that his chamber doors were locked before running over to his bed side and sitting on the edge of the bed beside him.

"Guy wake up, wake up please! It's just a dream wake up." I whispered to him as I gently shook him in an effort to wake him up. He jolted at my touch as his hands gripped my wrists and pinned me down on the bed with him on top puffing as he watched me. It was silent as he took in the sight of seeing me as his grip relaxed and uneven peace filled his face.

"Esme?" He asked me, his voice distant and broken yet clinging to hope.

"I'm here, relax my love I'm here" I whispered to him comfortingly as I placed a hand on his cheek which he automatically kissed and down my wrist causing me to giggle.

"Oh Esme forgive me, my love forgive me!" He begged as he pulled me into his lap and buried his head in my neck. I let my arms tighten around him as we embraced as I kissed his forehead causing him to squeeze me tighter.

"Of course I forgive you" I laughed as he smiled looking down at me before frowning slightly as he lifted my left hand up and staring at the ring on my finger.

"You're wearing your ring?" He whispered breathlessly.

"I love you, you silly fool. Yes I'm wearing your ring." I laughed as he chuckled. I watched as his smile grew sad and his eyes followed causing me to look at him with concern.

"This must be a dream" He whispered disappointed as I felt my heart sink slightly. I knew I couldn't reveal myself to him yet, I had to protect him against Prince John and if he knew I was alive then he would try to protect me instead.

"Then it is a good dream" I smiled placing a delicate soft kiss on his lips as we leant our foreheads against one another.

"One I shall enjoy" He grinned mischievously before bringing his warm lips onto mine in a heated passionate kiss. Pushing me back slightly so I was lying on the bed he placed on hand on the bed beside me the other on my back. I naturally arched my body into his hoping to bring our bodies closer as he lowered himself allowing every inch of our bodies to connect.

I was breathless as his lips left mine and travelled down my neck leaving kisses and bites causing me to moan and clutch onto his hair and back. I gave his hair a slight tug causing him to growl as I brought our lips back together as I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth. My body felt like it was burning with desire from his touch and wanted more. I loved him and I wanted him and I knew he wanted me to, yet his lips left mine once more as his warm breath blew on my neck.

"I love your sweet scent of roses and strawberries" He whispered placing a few more kissed on my collar bone as I chuckled.

"I'm glad you've bathed and look civilized now" I tease him as he chuckles, his voice husky and sending my body into a deeper state of desire.

"You can thank Wolf for that. That man can't mind his own business" Guy grumbled as I rested on my elbows watching him as his face was only mere inches away from my own.

"Guy don't be too harsh. He is a friend and wants to help you. Let him." I softly spoke as he gave me an annoyed look.

"I don't trust him Esme." He grumbled annoyed that I had changed the topic to politics.

"Do you trust me?" I whispered.

"With my life" He automatically responded causing me to smile as I kissed his lips.

"Then trust him, you know Prince John can change his mind about executing someone by a blink of an eye. Having an ally in Prince John's court can be handy." I offered trying to get him to see reason and the benefits of my position as Prince John's right hand man, and how in return I can help save and benefit him.

"Esme!" Guy grumbles as he rolls his eyes at me and lets his body fall back on the bed. His head hitting the pillow as he rubs his forehead as I gave a fake gasp and sat up leaning over him slightly as I placed my hand on his chest.

"Did you roll your eyes at me?" I tease him with fake horror as he looked up at me with his devilish smirk and a mischievous glint in his eye. He slowly sat up as his hand caresses my neck as he leans on his arm, his smile growing wider causing me to giggle.

"Never my love" He teased before he pulled to towards him and latched his warm lips on mine once more. Sighing with contempt I melted back into his embrace and wound my arms around his neck. His arm held me tightly around my back as he flipped me over as he laid my head gently on the pillow. My fingers curled in his hair as I pulled him closer towards me as he groaned causing me to smirk slightly.

His kiss was soft yet passionate before he pulled away to catch our breathing. I saw the dark circles under his eyes as I gave him a soft smile whilst I caressed his cheek. His nose trailed down my neck as he breathed in my scent before happily sighing and rolling over and pulling me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and my arm resting on his chest as he placed a delicate kiss on my forehead and stroked my lower back.

"Sleep my love and rest" I whispered to him as I trailed my fingers through his hair as he closed his eyes and shook his head, yet sighing happily.

"No.....when I wake you'll be gone. I don't want to live without you" He whispered sadly as my heart broke slightly.

"Rest Guy, you must rest. I will stay with you still you sleep" I promised him as his arm that was curled around me tightened possessively. I smiled as I rested my head against his chest and listened to the calm beating of his heart as he breathed in deeply and rested his cheek against the top of my head.

"I love you my darling....." He whispered with a yawn before he fell into a deep sleep. I knew I had to cherish the moment and I hoped that when he knew I was actually alive he would forgive me, but for now I would live in the moment on a life of love that we were meant to share together.

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Hey everyone

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