- Chapter 65 -

I couldn't breathe as I drew closer to what I was about to do. He will never forgive me, Robin and Guy will never trust a word I say again. Gulping and wiping away a stray tear I was standing on top of the hill overlooking Locksley dressed in my Nightwatchman gear. Clothing I had hoped would remain in the past, something long forgotten.

I slipped on my scarf around my mouth and tucked my hair back slipping over my hood and finalising my mask over my eyes. Slowly and quietly I sneak into the smoky village amongst the tents set up in the middle. One young mercenary, sitting on the doorstep of the church, turns to see me just as I cartwheel beside him and knocking him out with my foot. I check over my shoulder to see I am clear before I enter the church and close the doors behind me.

Having a good look of all the food stored around me I walk in forward. I must have been completely out of it as I wasn't aware of Allan sleeping on a large chest on grain by the door. Grabbing hold of a sack of grain I grunt slightly before throwing it over my shoulder getting ready to bolt quickly with my first prize.

"Oh, great. What are you doing here?" Allan groaned in my direction as I drop the bag with a gasp and spin on my heels to see him. I didn't trust my voice, knowing I would crack giving away what was meant to happen as I say nothing, watching as he gets to his feet.

"Look, you just walk away now, all right? No-one needs to know you were ever here." He promised me just as I watch Guy walking into the room freezing once he sees me. I was ready to cry right then at the sight of him as he slams the door shut behind him.

"Guy, I've caught the Nightwatchman!" Allan quickly covers as I swing a sack at Allan knocking him off his feet. I had to at least keep up appearances.

"Into the lion's den, eh?" Guy sneered towards me as he drew his sword and swings it at me. Quickly ducking I hit Guy in the stomach with the sack of grain and bring it back smacking him in the head, sending him flying into the piles of grain behind him. I winced as he grunted in pain dazed before slowly bolting towards the door, only to feel him grip the back of my hood.

Throwing me backwards I did a quick flip to ensure I remained on my feet as he swung his sword towards me once again, leaving me the only opportunity but to catch hold of the blade in my palms. I felt the blade dig into my skin knowing I was slowly drawing blood as he kicked me in the stomach as I went flat on my back.

"Fearless? Or stupid?" He taunted at me as I made no effort to get back up as he raised his fist to send a punch causing me to flinch and look the other way.

"Leave him. He's had enough, Guy!" Allan defended coming to my rescue as I heard a slight clang to see Allan's sword had stopped Guy's dagger from piercing my stomach as the silent tears dripped down my cheeks. I could see the confusion flicker in his eyes before he hesitantly ripped the mask and scarf from me revealing who I was.

He looked beyond heartbroken and betrayed as I let out a strangled sob. I wished nothing more than to reach out and embrace him and kiss him. But I knew he would never trust or be with me now. I would surely hang if the Sheriff had his way. I guess I could only hope he would grant me mercy.

"No. Not you." He whispered broken as I saw a stray tear escape down him cheek as he stumbled to his feet running out of the room. Allan gave me a weak smile smiling with relief that I hadn't been killed again as he laid back against the sacks of grain. Throwing off my gloves to see the line of blood across my palms stung by the cuts. Ripping the fabric of my cloak I wrapped them tightly hoping to provide pressure and some comfort, though nothing could help the emptiness I felt in my heart.

"Why would you even try and do this Esme?" Allan hissed disappointed in me as I stared blankly into empty space.

"I had to" I whispered broken.

"I can't even help you because if I mess up with Gisborne now, I've got nothing left" He grumbled dejectedly however I made no offer or plea for him to set me free. Our silence was broken by the sound of the door squeaking as I looked up to see Guy walking towards me distant and emotionless.

"A year ago... I put this dagger into the Nightwatchman's side." He told me silently pulling out his curved jewelled dagger that I knew all too well. I couldn't look at him in the eyes, ashamed of what was happening as I slowly stood up with my head to the ground.

"Show me." He pleaded as he stepped right in front of me. So close my breathing grew uneven as I could smell the leather and pine. Closing my eyes and with a quivering lip I slowly lifted the side of my shirt hearing him hiss and Allan gasp. Even though my side was covered in scars, the one that he and his dagger left was evident over the others. His fingers trailed over my skin slightly before he pulled away as though I had burnt him.

"Prepare the prisoner. I've sent word to the Sheriff that we've captured the Nightwatchman." He broke his voice foreign as all hope that Esme had collapsed as her knees gave way. Placing her forehead on the floor her tears streamed down her face as she knew that he didn't want or care for her anymore.

Doing as he was told Allan lifted me to my feet and wrapped a rope around my wrist before placing me on the back of his horse. No one spoke a word as I was taken back to the castle and locked away in my chambers. I got out from my clothes and changed into a royal blue gown. I couldn't watch from my window as a noose was being set up on the gallows. A noose for my neck.

I struggled to regain my composure after the breakdown I had suffered from before as my door opened. Turning around I saw Allan looking solemn as he held the door open for Guy as he stormed into my room and setting a tray on my table. He didn't say anything until Allan had shut the door behind him.

"Please..." I tried.

"You're in league with Robin Hood—"

"No—"

"—an outlaw. I warned you the sentence would be death." He spoke solemnly unable to even look at me.

"I was the Nightwatchman years before Robin returned." I whispered.

"Don't take me for a fool! It all fits. The way that you behaved with me, your little rides into the forest.... You were trusted here at the castle by all of us—Every moment... that I thought you were a friend to me, you were betraying me." He growled.

"I wasn't!" I exclaimed as he stepped towards me slowly.

"Every day Esme that I grew more and more to love you, you were mocking me" he hissed as I struggled not to cry once again as I shook my head in refusal.

"It wasn't like that. I love you! I swear-" I cried out, not caring of the distressed state I was now in.

"Shh. You are a liar." He whispered placing a finger over my lips as he glared at me.

"I stayed at your side..... when Prince John's men were threatening Nottingham. I could easily have left you!" I snapped back as he stiffened and took a step closer causing me to hold my breath as I stared longingly at his lips.

"You are nothing to me." He breathed on my lips as I instinctively went to lean upwards, he stepped away glaring ready to leave me.

"So you would rather I was put to death... lose everything we've ever had or ever could have?" I sadly whispered as he paused at my door.

"I've lost far more than that already." He menacingly told me before opening the door and slamming it shut behind him.

*************

Guy walks down towards Esme's chamber and sees smoke pouring out from under the door.

"Esme?" He calls immediately concerned as he hurries to the door. Allan is sitting guard on the top of the side steps with his back to the door.

"Get that door open!" He demanded as Allan runs to the door behind Gisborne. Gisborne opens the door and sees a smouldering roll of cloth at the edge of the step inside the door. Gisborne sees a chain of knotted sheets tied to the bedstead and runs to the window.

"She's escaped! Guards! Stop her! Esme!" He roared out as Allan stomps the re out. Esme runs out of an alcove into the room towards Allan.

"Allan, stop her!" Guy ordered as Allan stands and catches Esme, who knees him in the groin.

"Get out of my way!" She pleaded as Allan doubles over; keeping hold of her over his shoulder, and Gisborne pulls her back and throws her facedown to the floor in front of the replace.

"I expect you to know when you're beaten!" He growled down at her as Allan is on his hands and knees on the floor.

"Get out. Get out!" Gisborne angrily shouts as Allan looks up at him from the floor before Gisborne storms over, pulls him up by the arm, pushes him out the door and slams it behind him.

"This isn't a game, Esme. When the Sheriff returns, you are going to die." He snapped at her as he went to move towards her but decided against it as he turns towards the bed.

"Don't you have the courage to finish this yourself? After all my so-called betrayals..... you should be glad to do it." She challenged as Guy looked down at her noticing the way she held her body stiff. Her voice seemed strained and tormented as she finally looked up at him under her lashes, her eyes conveying her pain but also a warning, like she was trying to save him.

"This is not my decision." Guy defended raising his hands as he knew he would never be able to hurt her.

"Then perhaps it should be. After all, you were the one who professed to love me." She bitterly spat in his face.

"Well, I thought that I knew you. I defended you against the Sheriff countless times, more than you know!" He defended trying to show her how much he did care and love her as she looked away.

"And I deceived the Sheriff to help people, and in so doing, I had to deceive you, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I'm sorry for that. But is it such a crime to follow my heart?" She whispered her strong facade breaking as he saw that she meant every word. It had hurt her to betray him but he refused to believe it.

"Or the way that I followed mine? And always to your door! Esme, why did you have to put me in this position? Did you even once understand what I was feeling... or thinking?" He begged her as he knelt down in front of her, their faces inches apart.

"Of course I do - " She whispered placing a palm on his cheek as he kissed the inside of her palm instinctively. Feeling the rough fabric of the cloth that she had placed on her palms from the cuts made him retract back onto his feet.

"When you left, I thought that I'd lost you for good. Perhaps it would have been better if I had." He whispered lying through his teeth as he saw her miserable face as she looked away. It broke him inside as he locked her back in her room alone, unaware that his dagger had fallen from his belt and that an empty hearted girl inside her chambers was eyeing it dangerously......