- Chapter 58 -

"When are you going to let me out of this camp, Robin? Robin!" I demanded as I stormed after him. I had been stuck in this camp for at least a full week and I was bored stiff. I needed to do something and Robin refused to let me do anything as though I would break by touching anything.

"When you're finished grieving after Sir Edward" he snapped as I snarled.

"Robin! I just want to move on! I can't do that when all you let me do is live in the memories of my father!" I argued as I could see the gang in the corner of my eye beginning to back away slightly at our brawl.

"I promised him I would look after you." He defended.

"I can take care of myself." I hissed. I had been taking care of myself in the castle and I can do it out here!

"Well I disagree! I know what's best for you Esme--" He began as I scoffed.

"You know what's best for me? You're joking right! You're not my father Robin so stop acting like it!" I nearly screamed as my fury was matching his as I saw his face hit with sudden realization. He softened and tried to pull me into a hug though I only continued to glare and hold my ground. I wasn't a baby and he needed to stop treating me like one.

"No I'm not but -"

"I know he asked you to look after me! I can take care of myself! Look, I don’t need to be mollycoddled, all right?" I hissed quietly as I saw the discomfort coming from the gang.

"Good. Because you’re not going to get it here." Robin snapped at me before storming away in one direction as I growled angrily at him. I noticed the entire gang watching me almost ready for me to melt down as I refused to give them that satisfaction as I stormed off in the other direction bumping into Little John as I went before disappearing into the forest.

I was happily sitting on a branch at least seven feet above from the ground as I could hear someone coming in my direction. I knew it wouldn't be Robin he never apologized this quickly as I saw Little John coming in the direction I had just been as he paused trying to find me.

"Have you been sent to baby-sit me?" I asked him as he glanced up at me as I played with the edge of my hair as I heard him sigh deeply.

"This is not how I thought it would be...living in the forest. I can’t... breathe... in here. It’s worse than living in the castle." I told him truthfully as he gave me a sad smile.

"Come here." He gently informed as I looked at him slightly intimidated before I swung down and landed in a crouch before walking over towards him as he reached out and pulled me gently into a hug as he rubbed my back in a fatherly gesture as I buried my face in his chest.

"It’s not the here or there, is it? It’s your father. You've lost your father." He whispered to me as I nodded and felt tears come closer to my eyes as I felt my words choke in my throat.

"And that’s why I want to get on with things." I choked out as I knew he noticed as he hugged me slightly tighter.

"In time. In time." He whispered as I felt the tears pour. He happily let me cry as I missed my father deeply. It was my fault! I did that to him! We just stayed like that until I ran out of tears to cry as he gave me a pat on my back before pulling away. I gave him a weak smile as he allowed me some time to be alone and catch my breath and composure before returning back to the camp.

I decided to burn off some steam by throwing knives into a tree a good distance away. I threw one, which lands in the middle of the trunk, then another beside it. I heard a twig snap next to me and instinctively threw a knife at a tree to my left, just as Allan is coming out from behind it. He looks at the quivering blade near his head shocked as I gasped and gulped to see him here.

"You could have had my eye out!" He hissed as I took a step back and glancing around the forest unsure if Guy was near Allan. Allan normally stayed at his side.

"You've got some nerve, showing your face in the forest." I stated suspicious as he began to come closer towards me as I clutched the knife in my hands tighter for protection in case.

"Yeah, I checked you were on your own first. I know what the lads'll do to me if they get half a chance, but I figured I owed you this much." He stated as I frowned and walked over to the tree and removed the knives before turning back to him.

"You’re here for me?" I quizzed confused as I struggled to pull out a solidly wedged knife.

"Gisborne... wants me to find you. I mean, obviously I didn't tell him you’d probably be here." He informed as he glanced around the forest looking for a sign of anybody. I wasn't sure if he was concerned that the gang would come looking or if Guy had him followed.

"Well, obviously." I chuckled as I began cleaning my blade as he smirked as I raised an eyebrow.

"No, but I’m gonna need to tell him something, right? So I was thinking I could tell him you've joined up with the Sisters of the Immaculate Conception, Ripley Convent." He smiled brightly at his plan as I raised an eyebrow. Ripley Convent?

"Well, I was thinking you could write a note, just say you want to be left alone, a bit of praying, grieving, whatever." He spoke as he saw my unconvinced look as I shrugged that might actually work however I glared at Allan curiously.

"Why would you help me?" I asked slowly as he rolled his eyes.

"Look, I’m not all bad." He defended causing me to chuckle.

"And any letters from the convent have to be sealed by the Mother Superior." I pointed out the flaws of his plan as I was still unsure by his idea as he smirked even brighter.

"I can sort that. I’m good with nuns." He chuckled as I rolled my eyes laughing.

"I don't even want to know" I stated as we both turned to leave in our separate directions before I paused and turned back around and called out his name causing him to frown and look back at me.

"Thanks Allan" I smiled before leaving and heading back towards the camp. It was quiet as I noticed a note pinned up by and arrow signed by Robin saying they had gone into Nottingham to deliver daily baskets and pouches of money as I sighed deeply before lying on my bunk and deciding to have a small nap. I felt exhausted from all those tears and my earlier argument with Robin. I don't know how long I was asleep maybe an hour or two at the most as I was awoke by someone shouting my name.

"ESME!" I heard Allan shout out as I frowned confused and ran to where he was shouting as he was panting from running towards me.

"Allan what are you doing here? Twice!" I exclaimed confused, before I glanced around if Robin knew he was here he would shoot him on the spot.

"Guy is coming! He doesn't believe that you joined up with the Sisters of the Immaculate Conception, Ripley Convent" He panted as I paled slightly.

"Then why are you here?" I asked slowly and suspiciously as he gulped and held up his hand for a second to catch his breath before he straightened and drew a deep breath.

"He's searching through the south side of the forest. Says he knows where he might find you" He instructed as my eyes widened slightly before smirking as I nodded and watched him run off once more back to Nottingham Castle.

Hearing what Allan had informed me I ran quickly through the forest after leaving a quick note behind for Robin. I made my way deeper into the woods as I carefully ran down a steep hill to notice Guy's black stallion tied to a tree outside. Gulping I slipped through the cracks in the cliff and let myself hide in the darkness for a moment as I saw the light grow brighter. I noticed Guy sitting on the grass by the small stream waiting, his black hair blowing in the wind as I gulped and felt butterflies erupt in my stomach.

"Guy!" I called out as he jumped up to his feet surprised before a smile escaped onto his lips.

"Esme" He breathed out coming closer as I refused to move and struggled to hold an unemotional face as I saw love burst through his smile and eyes. "I received your letter. I was about to come and visit you."

"I asked to be left alone and still you were coming to see me?" I questioned as he chuckled.

"You knew I would." He smirked as a smile escaped onto my lips as I coughed to wipe it away.

"Yes. And that’s why I came. To ask you to please leave me be." I informed trying to keep my voice cold and unwelcoming however I knew that it didn’t portray it that way as he scoffed and stepped closer towards me.

"Esme... you seriously expect me to believe that you have given yourself to God?" He questioned raising an eyebrow as I knew he knew me too well to believe it. Why did I allow myself to listen to Allan, yes it was a great idea, however now I think about it, I doubt he would have ever believed it.

"I haven’t “given” myself to anybody. Not yet." I scoffed before turning to leave as he quickly grabbed my arm and turned me round to him as I felt my breath catch in my throat as I glanced up into those eyes, feeling myself get lost in them.

"Good. Because until you do, I will always believe that there is a chance for you and me." He whispered his voice full of emotion as I gulped struggling to get the words to come to my throat as I adverted my eyes from his.

"I need to think." I whispered trying to leave once more as he pulled me closer and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Stop thinking….Come home to me!" He pleaded as I scoffed and glared up at him.

"You burned my home to the ground!" I snapped as he let go of me as I knew I had wounded him from the painful reminder. He took a few steps away and ran his fingers through his hair looking like he was ready to pull it out.

"Esme, if I could take that back... if I could show you the side to me that wants to build a home, not burn it down." His voice seemed broken and yet was filled with so much emotion I forgot about the dark side he carried as I took several steps closer to him placing my hands on his forearms.

"I've seen it." I whispered.

"Then why do you reject it?" He asked me broken as I had to turn away to prevent myself from caving in to him.

"My father is dead. I need time to grieve." I told him brokenly as I heard him step up behind me as I could feel his front press against my back as I took in deep breaths to calm my breathing, as my heart rate accelerated.

"What better way to grieve than to create new life? Esme. I thought that I might never see you again. I thought I might never..." He whispered in my ear making me shudder before I turned and frowned glancing back up at him.

"What?" I quizzed.

"Kiss you." He sighed passionately before his arm snaked around my waist as my hands were resting on his chest. He slowly leant in for a kiss as his warm lips met mine, as when he realized I didn't retreat he held me closer to him as I had to stand on my toes. The kiss was gentle and passionate as my hands hooked up around his neck and got tangled in his hair as he pulled me closer, pressing our bodies together.

I felt light headed and my body shook with electricity as I melted to his touch and I knew he noticed. The kiss grew slightly rougher as neither one of us drew apart for a breath before his lips disconnected from mine and trailed down my neck causing me to pant breathless and melt further to his sweet caress. He nuzzled his face into my hair as I gulped and closed my eyes trying to regain my composure to what his touch did to me as I broke away causing him to frown.

"Guy... I have to go." I panted weakly unable to look at him.

"Go? You can’t go." Guy panted confused as I refused to look at him as I kept my focus on the ground.

"I can, and I must. Look, this was a mistake." I whispered trying to make my sentences make sense as he chuckled slightly and tried to walk towards me though I took another step back.

"Esme, this wasn't a mistake. This was the most perfect thing that has ever happened." He whispered lovingly as I wanted to melt into those words, to his touch and to his kiss but I knew I couldn’t.

"I am grieving, Guy. I misled you. I’m sorry." I finally played my final card as I attempted to leave once more before he pulled me gently back into his arms as I felt my knees going weak as I refused to glance at him but I was force to when he cupped my cheeks with his leather hands.

"You’re misleading yourself. I know. I've done it. I told myself I didn't need you, that other things would satisfy me... politics... power. Yet here we are." He smiled, a true rare smile that made me sigh happily to his caress on my cheeks as he placed sweet kisses on my cheeks making me close my eyes and gulp.

"Esme I forbid you to go." He whispered almost begging me to stay as I sighed deeply not wanting to leave his warmth as I took him by surprise and gave him a long kiss before I pulled away biting my lips slightly and running back through the cave entrance leaving him behind as I ignored his feet after me and weaved my way through and made my way back to Robin's camp when I was sure he hadn't followed me…….