There was a time when she loved morning haze but now it had started to scare her. 

Nandini searched Manik's cottage and then scolded herself for even thinking that he would be there. There was no way he would stop walking before bruising his feet. She stood in the  backyard and looked at the vast forest down the vale. 

She didn't know from where to start. 

That town was surrounded with too much wilderness. He could be anywhere. She started to walk down the valley hoping to find some sign of him. It had started to turn darker. Her heart hammered against her chest as she kept taking hurried steps. She could hear a stream nearby. Soon that sweet music revealed another sound which was of Axe chopping the wood. She closed her eyes in relief and cleared the final bush before she saw him near the gentle river. He was so engrossed in himself as he cut the wood mercilessly. She could see a pile of woods beside him. He had been beating timber for a long time and might have severed himself even more. 

"Manik," She called as she hurried on pebbles. He didn't stop but his jaw tightened. She knew she was calling out for a storm. She was summoning a wrath which might leave her bleeding unceasingly. 

She stood at a distance and waited for him to slow down but he didn't. 

"Talk to me," She said as she kept standing there waiting for him to speak up. He threw the axe somewhere in the water and got rid of that sweaty vest before he started to walk into the water. He was as always running away from her and from himself.

Nandini clicked her lips in annoyance and followed him. Her dress didn't help much as she descended in knee length water. She fumbled in her steps and fell. Her eyes traveled to his escaping figure and she got up while wiping the water off her face. Her hurried steps and his labored steps got them in middle of water. She held his wrist to stop him and he didn't take a second to get rid of her warm clutch. 

"I am not letting you bear it alone anymore," She announced angrily and held his forearm to turn him around.

He did and his face showed a mix of anger and pain. His jaw was tightened while hands were in a fist. He hesitated to meet her eyes while she kept looking into his without any fear. 

"Go away, Nandini. Go away before I end up hurting you," He warned finally looking at her. 

She smiled meekly and he looked less agitated. Her hand raised to caress his pained skin, a pain which saw no wound but ached bad. Her fingers met his temple and she knew that wall had started to melt down. He sighed deep. She saw his eyes relaxing and then transitioning into something so dark that she quivered. He held her hand in a stinging grip and jerked her away ruthlessly.

"I don't need your pity," He yelled mercilessly and she gaped him in disbelief. For a moment, it felt like he hated her for all she was. She couldn't comprehend how could he even think that she would judge him. 

Cold water had almost numbed her legs and his words froze her to her place. She expected him to walk away leaving him all drenched in her tears but he kept standing there. He kept standing there like he had no might to leave. He didn't even realize how bad he wanted to be held by her. Her eyes softened but then she couldn't blow her calming breaths on his veiled wounds anymore. Rage engulfed her and she held his forearms with his nails digging his skin.  

"I never pitied you," She spoke menacingly as she looked into dark water. His Muscles tightened listening her cold tone. 

"I don't know if you remember or not but I had promised you I won't ever ask you about your mother till the moment you want to talk about it," She spoke lowly yet furiously.

Manik's breaths labored as if he was about to burst into million of pieces. She was summoning to the demons which had been eating him since his childhood. He couldn't hide how scared he felt in that moment. His heartbeats were rapid and he realized for the first time how alive he was. He realized how much he had to lose. 

"Manik," She spoke drearily and he had to look at her face. 

 Suddenly, the dark was a shade darker. He couldn't see her face. 

"I go back on my words. I break that promise today," She declared taking a step towards him. He could see her face now. It was devoid of vulnerability. It had this bullish behest which he knew he couldn't escape. 

"I demand to know. Show me all that hurts and dare you deny me," She asked looking into his scared eyes.

It felt like he hadn't any weight at all as he lost his balance as stream stroked him a bit harshly. His hands reach to hold her shoulder. No one in his entire life had ever demanded something like that. Many understood him but no one ever asked why and how. 

"I am not that strong I guess," He murmured and she looked at his pained face. Her throat thickened but she gulped the gust. She wouldn't cry for him today, she was sure. She would stand profound so that he could crumble. 

"You don't need to be strong" She whispered and he hid his face in her long tresses. She didn't embrace him, nor she pushed him away. Soon she could feel hot wet on her neck and she realized it was time. The frozen wall had started to melt. 

"You know why I hated your father?" He asked after a long silence. 

Nandini furrowed her brows unable to understand how it was relevant.

"Because he destroyed your home?" She answered and he kissed softly just below her ear. 

"No," He said and parted away. 

Holding her hand, he crossed the stream to reach the other end of river. 

"I hated him because he is the one who made my father meet my mother," He uttered looking at dark forest. 

Nandini took a few steps towards him where she could feel his warmth. 

"My father was general in your father's army," He revealed. 

"It was one of his missions which sent my father to my mother's town," He added and then didn't say a thing for minutes. 

Nandini waited and he gawked at dark forest. 

"I guess we should move to somewhere warm and dry," Manik spoke while reaching out for her hand. 

She didn't push it and followed his lead. He lead her somewhere towards the heart of the forest. As he cleared the final bush, she could see a small tree house dripping in moonlight. 

He left her hand and climbed the wooden. She could tell that Manik had made it. It had his scent all over. She smiled to herself and soon she could see some light blazing the small house. He came out and looked at her. She climbed the stairs and he gave her his hand. Wind up there was frosty. She could see the night-view of mountains behind. They all were bathed in moonlight. 

"When did you made this?" She asked wrapping her arms around his torso. 

"How did you know that I made this?" He asked engulfing her in his arms. 

She sighed deep and listened to his turbulent heartbeats. 

"It feels like home, that's how," She said and she could feel him smiling. 

He took her inside and saw a cozy fireplace along a grass bed. 

He kept fanning the fire for long while she sat beside the window gazing the night view. She was waiting for him to continue. The good part was that there was some tranquility at last. 

"He fell in love with her at first sight..." Manik spoke as he still sat facing the fire. 

"My father fell in love with my mother...even when he was already engaged," He added lowly. 

Nandini's heart twisted at his tone. He sounded so accountable for something he didn't even commit. No wonder, he crumbled down at mention of illegitimacy of his existence.  

"She didn't know," He clarified as soon as his mind processed how he was putting his mother on judgement. 

"I won't judge any of it, Manik," Nandini said while closing the window which was letting the harsh winds enter the cabin. 

"I remember my mother as a faint memory. She used to sing me a sweet lullaby," Nandini was sure that he was smiling. 

"And one day she just stopped singing me anything. I wouldn't see her around. I would cry and my old grandmother would rock me in her arms and curse the Gods, I was so young that I didn't even know my mother was dead and she wasn't going to come back. I would cry all night and my grandmother cried along," He spoke as if remembering it was quite hard. 

"My granny would curse me sometimes when I was too stubborn and then punish herself later for being harsh on me. She always saw me as bitter-sweetly." 

"I was with my mother for just four years of life," He said and then aggressively put some woods in the fireplace. 

Nandini hugged her own legs as she sat there reining herself from running to him and embrace him. Her eyes welled up at thought how it must be for him being raised without his mother. 

"Then granny too died one night, I was taken by one of neighborhood woman next morning. We lived in dirty camps. I didn't understand then what had happened to that town," He said diving into one of his faraway memories. 

"I grew too silent for next few months. I wouldn't speak to anyone for days. I would hit other kids. I was too angry. I was turning into someone nobody wanted around. One day that lady told me that my father was coming to take me and I wondered for hours what a father could be like. I never knew if I had a father."

"I remember that kind lady packing my bag and telling how I would have a home now and I wouldn't be sleeping in wet bed anymore. Though I never complained but she knew that I slept in soaked bed all night. Rains didn't spare those tents."

"One week later, a tall man came to see me. He was in military uniform. He looked so grave when he saw me. He kept looking at me as if trying to connect the dots. I was his son, he knew the moment he walked inside that tent. Later I saw him giving some token money to that woman for taking care of me. He was trying to be generous..." Manik chuckled dryly. 

"A man who hadn't even given single gentle touch to his son was already a good father in world eyes," He continued. 

"We traveled for days and all he asked me if I was hungry or I needed anything." 

Manik didn't speak for a long time and Nandini's restlessness started to grow. 

"Manik," Nandini called him and he moved hastily. 

He went to the window and opened as if needed to some air urgently. 

"My head feels heavy..." He spoke as if sought respite from a long battle, "Can we sleep?" 

Nandini didn't know what went wrong...was he shutting her out again or running away as always. She tried to say something but nothing came out of her mouth. 

"Please," He pleaded and she finally was able to say something. 

"Sure...as you wish," She was trying to act normal. She fumbled as she tried to make hay bed beneath her. 

"Do we have some blanket?" She asked to sound as accommodating as she could be. She didn't want to push him. 

She laid the bed for them and he defeatedly lay down. His arm stretched out. She lay beside him and he grabbed her petite figure in his arms. His embrace was urgent as pressed her more into his chest. 

"I need a good sleep," He murmured and Nandini gently patted his back. 

"The real hell began at end of that long journey and I don't know how to tell you about it..." He spoke calmly but achingly.  He was trying to justifying his withdrawal from story of his own life. 

"Maybe if I sleep on it, I can talk about it. See, I have just started conceding my own life, and you know I am bad with words..." He chuckled. 

Nandini didn't let him blabber more and kissed his lips tenderly before closing her eyes. She knew he wouldn't embrace slumber before she slipped into it. 

"Sleep, Manik," She murmured and put her head on his heart. 

It took years for him to become this frozen, it would be only right if he melted slowly...

Not an iceberg but soft snowflakes, That's how it ought to be...

_______________________________

____________________________________

A/N

Hello dear readers

I hope all of you are doing good. The length of updates might be this long only as I don't get much idle time. I find it better to post short update rather than posting not at all. I hope that goes fine with you all. 

Much love XOXO