NamJoon entered his living room after having taken a shower as he purposely had come from his office to do so after all the sleepless hours he had gone through. A relaxing shower would sure freshen him up as well as some food which he intended to go eat right now before he goes to take some hours of sleep that he so much needed. 

With such plans in his head for his day, he had started roaming around his fridge for some food only to realize that the only thing he had left that was still edible was cereal. The news definitely weren't pleasant but what else could he do but order something and wait for it to arrive at this point. He surely regretted a bit the fact that he declined to take food from SooLin the last time he was there for the purpose of meeting you since if he had taken on her offer his fridge would have been packed now.

It's okay. It's not like her food tastes better.

He told himself as he got out of the kitchen in search of his phone but as the seconds past, he couldn't help but exhale a deep sigh knowing that what he thought was a lie. Everything tasted better when she was to have made it for him and that was a fact that surely made him feel more pathetic than he in generally does when it comes to his hopes of a different relationship with her.

He was the one that some days ago had decided that there was no point in hanging onto such hopes yet here he was, his heart still being the same as it had been for years on end. Just why did he have to have a heart that loves only one for so long and no other woman wavers it no matter how breathtaking they may have been? If you were to think about it, his tread was as good as it was bad, because his heart had just gone and fallen for someone that will never be his, dooming him into a life long one-sided love. And that sure was painful. Loving without ever taking anything back was like a poison that kills you slowly and he knew that well. That was why he now more than ever was mad and angry at himself and wanted to move forward for his own good. Maybe someday he will find the one that he will love and she will return those feelings equally.

"Ah finally!" He exclaimed as after some minutes of search among the pillows of his couch he ended up noticing his phone under the table. How it had reached there he didn't know but what did it matter as long as it was functional still.

NamJoon grabbed it and he felt relief as the screen light up , letting him know that it was not damaged but then his eyebrows furrowed as he saw that he had thirteen missed calls from Jimin. Worried about what he might have needed him to call him, he immediately called him back only for Jimin to tell him to open his door and hand up, without giving NamJoon a chance to say anything back.

 He was clearly perplexed for a second but he still walked up to his main door and opened it, only to come face to face with his friend who just got inside without speaking to him.

"What happened?" NamJoon asked him after he closes the door and followed Jimin to his living room, taking notice of the bag he was carrying with him which made a loud thud as he dropped it on the floor next to the couch before Jimin proceeded to drop his body there as well.

"I got fired." Was all Jimin replied with to him and NamJoon stayed silent for a moment, his mind making some assumptions as to why that happened then he went and took a seat by his side, waiting for Jimin to say something more but he just kept quiet, forcing NamJoon to drag the conversation where he thought that it should be.

"Because you completed your.. mission I assume" He cautiously spoke and Jimin just left his gaze avert to the other side, away from him, giving him to understand that it was so.

"You did well. With the dept out of your way now you will be able to manage better your living expenses and you won't need to ever get involved in anything dirty again. You erased a big weight from your family's shoulders. Now you can start living life a bit more for yourself." NamJoon continued, speaking only of the positive things that this brings to Jimin as he knew that his friend probably needed to hear those words because he was obviously hurt.

He knew him well and as such he knew what kind of heart he carried in his chest. Jimin was just a being full of kindness and care for the people he loved and others in general around him. He was from the people that would get out of their way to do good and help a stranger simply because seeing others happy made him feel better too. He was from the ones that liked fairness and lived with the principles of love and humility and that was the cause of all his grief and sadness. Because it is hard to do bad and wrong when you carry a heart that beats in that way. Like a self distracting bomb that punishes itself after ever wrongdoing, he was.

Life had got him into places his soul doesn't belong to but that love for the others was what had helped him push through in those situations and get out of them a winner each time, neglecting how much he was to scar himself -on the inside- on the process. It was always them. His one and only priority. For them he would do anything. For his family that he lived for. For those kids that every time he looks at them he just wants to give them a better life from the one he had. Keep them from ever having the need to fall in the dark places he walked through.

"I know Hyung but it doesn't feel like a good thing at all... My heart is hurting."He finally replied and NamJoon looked at him with a pitted expression as he really wished that it was something he could do for him but he knew well that he couldn't do much.

From the moment he heard that Jimin had an agreement with TaeYong, he knew there was no stepping back from it no matter how much he clearly seemed to have gotten a liking on Mrs. Lee, as he referred to you. Going back in an agreement was more than signing your death when in such cases and he as well as Jimin were more than aware of it. And one thing was for sure. Jimin in no way would risk his family's lives for any reason. Manuel's death had reminded him more than enough after all, how betrayals are handled in such cases and truth be told NamJoon was happy that Jimin hadn't gone back on his word with TaeYong because he himself didn't want for anyone of his family to be in danger either. He had made the right choice and that was undeniable, not that he actually ever had any alternative choice that would send him anywhere but death, but surely NamJoon was pleased that he played it safe.

What he didn't like however was the cost that his friend was to pay emotionally for this. If only he hadn't agreed to get involved with such a thing, to begin with, his heart would have been spared by now but who was he to decide what should have happened and whatnot. When he can't even have full control over his own life.

"You can stay here for a while. Take your time." NamJoon patted his shoulder as he invited him to stay in order to avoid the pressure of going back home and explaining why he got fired as well as having to force himself to look fine on the outside. He could just stay there and go through his phase without having to explain anything to anyone. That was all he could offer him at that moment in order to help him and Jimin gladly took upon his offer as he turned around and gave him a hug before standing up and leaving to the guest room, he knew well as he had occupied quite some times before.

Once alone in that room, Jimin took a seat at the corner of the bed and closed his eyes while he took a breath in but instead of that process to make him feel a bit more calmer, he felt his breath getting tighter as in his mind returned your words along with your face. Your cold expression as you thanked him properly and told him that he was fired after contradicting the memories of the night prior that you had passed together.

How different it was, the feeling of warmth and the way you looked at him while you laid on his bed sheets. How his heart kept beating while he kissed you and shared your body warmth. It was such a regretful thing that he had destroyed that memory and made it so bitter, so hurtful. However time could not go back for anyone, and apparently his heartache going away any time soon sounded just as impossible. Why? Because it wasn't only a  wrongdoing to someone. It wasn't just one more sin on his list. It wasn't only guilt that had made him feel so miserable and bad. It was something else. Something he himself didn't even realize when it started. And now he just can't make it better. He just had to stay there and endure the feeling of brokenness as well as all the blaming thoughts and ache that came from the fact that he had hurt you.

He lifted his gaze from the ground where it had ended and his eyes fell on the two rows of books that were placed on the wall in front of him and there his eyes stood still for a bit, his thoughts running a bit further. Was he a villain or was he not? Was he a victim or was he not? Was he to blame absolutely or was it only him that would do so to himself for eternity? Was that fair and if not why was it that he couldn't judge himself right? He hurt someone in order to benefit from it and bring safety and happiness to someone else and maybe that was why he felt as if he had done neither a good thing nor a bad one. He couldn't be absolute because the one contradicted the other and somehow that made him even more frustrated with himself. Why everything had to be so unclear?

"I guess a villain wasn't always that all the time. An enemy to some, a guardian to others. Just like in a war where the winner is called a savior instead of a killer. It's all a matter of perspective they say yet somehow all I care about now is her perspective." He murmured to himself as he reached his hand out towards the books.

"In what light do you see me now Y/N?...Is it as dark and bad as I see myself?... Or is your heart contradicting you, like mine is?"He questioned out loud even though he knew well that you could not hear him.

---Change of set---

LeeGuk was in his office, checking some files that TaeYong may need to see later but his secretary that came inside drew his attention away from his work.

"What is it?" He asked as he saw that the young lady was somehow reluctant and that definitely wasn't in her nature.

"I am afraid that you need to go check up on Mr. TaeYong Sr. His secretary just informed me that he has closed himself in his office since he came and has requested multiple times for alcoholic beverages ending up him being in a bad condition. She is asking for your help as Mr. Lee had an appointment with Mr.TaeYong in an hour or so-" LeeGuk stood up immediately and rushed out of his office, lasting abruptly the tongue of his secretary to whom he usually is very kind and proper.

He hurried to TaeYong's office and ordered his secretary at the door to bring him some bitter coffee immediately as well as some carbon capsules that would enable his friend to sober up faster.

"TaeYong. Just what are you doing?" He spoke to him, ready to scold him for this nonproper behavior but as soon as TaeYong lifted his head while he was seated on his chair and LeeeGuk was able to see his face, his mind came to a pause.

He was crying. His eyes were red and his facial expression seemed so sad. In his hand was an empty glass that was waiting to be filled, in a desperate try to get his mind out of the thoughts which it had slipped into.

 LeeGuk just left an exhale leave his lips before he approached him and took the glass of his hand, thankfully him without resisting to his action, as TaeYong just kept staring at him as if he was expecting something from him. But what could he do? What anyone could do? What even time had failed to give to him. Peace. Forgiveness.

"Today it was supposed to be your happy day. What exactly went wrong?" LeeGuk asked him even though he could guess here and there what it must have been because he knew that you were more than capable of delivering words that could hit home into someone's emotions and apparently you had done this way too well this time around.

"Can you tell me? Do you think I deserve to be alive?" TaeYong spoke finally and LeeGuk locked eyes with him for a second before he smiled to him and placed his hand upon his head.

"You are a drunk kid yet you go and think of that from all things?" He avoided answering as his question was one that even if he was to take seriously at that instant he was sure that TaeYong wouldn't remember it.

"Help me" TaeYong replied and LeeGuk's eyes grew wide from the words that just escaped his lips since he had used them only once in his life when talking to him. He had looked at him with a desperate and broken gaze similar to this one as he had requested and plead for his helped for the first time on his life since he had his help always, no matter if he had never asked of it.

Back then all LeeGuk could do was try his best to cover his mistake. His wrongdoing that could have been the end of his career. However, it seems that he had not been able to save him after all, even though he had saved his life on the surface. TaeYong's heart never returned like it was and LeeGuk knew that well.

"Will you listen to me this time? " He questioned him as he looked at him sadly, feeling bad for his brother.

"I will do whatever you say. Just please, stop these feelings... Erase these thoughts...Because they are eating my life away...Please...someone..save me...Hyung."Tears rolled from TaeYong's eyes as he spoke with his head low and LeeGuk froze at the way he just called him. In all his life he had used nothing but his name despite the fact that he was older than him, in a way placing a kind of distance between them even though LeeGuk was always the only friend that was loyal to him from day one.

---Time skip---

NamJoon had just finished eating the food that had arrived some minutes earlier and stood up from his chair, trying to tidy up the kitchen counter before going to his bed that he so much was thinking of all the time. He had three hours only in his disposition after all, before his permission from being absent from work for today comes to an end and he definitely should make good use of those hours that he had in his disposition.

He messily left some plates on the sink, thinking of washing them up later then proceeded to grab his phone that strangely started buzzing as soon as he reached to it. He looked at his screen, seeing that it was a number that was calling him that was not saved in his contacts then he gave a minute to himself before answering the call only to be greeted by an unknown voice.

"Kim Nam Joon. Officer in Junbu police station?"

"Yes. That's me. With whom am I speaking with?" 

"Kim Lee Guk. I would like to have a meeting with you."

---To be continued.....