You always leave me wanting more
I can't shake my hunger for
Strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you

- strawberries and cigarettes (troye sivan)

64. strawberries and cigarettes

Popular K-Pop Idol Han Seojun in cahoots with a school bully? Netizens outraged at the past video...

Kang Soojin could not stop scrolling through the articles. She hated how each of them were worded so negatively and already made her the villain. She knew that there was nothing she could do to clear her name and hence she kept to herself for the next couple of days.

Both Move Entertainment and her work had asked her to stay put, to avoid passing any comments and to avoid getting any media attention, while they decided what they would do with her.

There was nothing much, Soojin thought. She was definitely getting terminated and removed. Being associated with both Han Seojun and being a bully in the past did not help her case. She was going to be ridiculed and bothered for the rest of her life – or until they remember about the incident.

In those two days Soojin was driving herself crazy. She felt the sudden urge to wash her hands despite them being clean and to run away from her house despite no one else being there. She wanted to talk to someone, anyone for that matter but she was asked to avoid being seen in public or to speak to anyone else. Jaehun was busy with his exams and spend most of the time outside home.

In all, Soojin was alone. Back to where she always was.

But even in the most stressful time of her life, all she remembered was the incident that led to all of this and that night she spent with Han Seojun.

They were drunk, but not too drunk to forget everything that happened. Then why hadn't he called? Why did he not reach out to her?

Surely, he remembered what happened right? Or he probably was asked to ignore her until everything cooled down.

Soojin sighed, sitting back in her bed and watching the sun lower its guard and welcome the night. It was a long time since she had a little time to herself and not be occupied with work.

Her phone beeped with countless notifications all of it from the news reporters and social media wanting to speak to her. She had no friends per se and did not expect any of them to reach out to her either.

Although by the end of the second day she did get her termination letter from her office e-mailed to her. They had charged her an insane amount of penalty for the breach of contract with Starlight and Move Entertainment and deducted her severance pay completely. She had to now pay back additional sum rather than receive anything from them.

Congratulations, Kang Su, you are doing amazing!

Soojin sighed, making the mistake of scrolling through her social media account and found the response to the news at an all-time high. They ranged from people asking her to kill herself, to people who mentioned how shameless and disgusting she was, to people demanding an answer from Soejun and the band.

She did not mind the accusations. She knew that she was wrong when she uploaded that horrible video on the school forum and even worse, doing it after knowing how Jugyeong felt.

If given a chance, would she go back and stop herself from doing it? Absolutely but she could hardly do anything about it.

What she did mind is the pointless and baseless accusations raised against Han Seojun and Starlight. They had nothing to do with it. Seojun would never condone bullying or anything remotely about bullying and Soojin wanted to scream at everyone who were pointing their fingers at the innocent man.

Soojin found her pantry to be empty and she had finished all the instant ramen packets – stress eating in those two days. She was afraid she'd go outside and cause an unnecessary scene, so she decided to order some ramen. Her appetite to eat seemed to disappear slowly.

She got fired from the work she put her heart and soul to. Day in and out, working tirelessly only to get a terminated without a chance to explain herself.

Mr. Choi would have given her a chance to speak, she thought, but he probably had his hands tied too. She did not blame him, just herself for being stupid and reckless in the past.

The doorbell brought Soojin out of her hopeless chain of thoughts. It was probably the delivery boy with her ramen, but when she did open the door, it wasn't just the delivery boy.

Jugyeong, Suho, Tae-hun, and what seemed like a teary eyed Su-ah standing outside her door with huge packets in their hands and a carton of beer and soju in Suho's. Soojin let the clan in, still bewildered as they smiled at her, entering inside.

Only Su-ah stood outside with a small smile on her face.

"You okay?" She asked, her eyes holding a glimmer of guilt and concern.

Soojin smiled, thankful to see her friend again after a decade. "Now that you are here, how can I not be?"

Su-ah leaped as she wrapped her arms around Soojin, the girls hugging each other and crying. Both of them apologizing and thanking and forgiving each other. Jugyeong couldn't hold herself back and joined in the hug, the duo instantly taking her in and the girls kept embracing each other.

Taehun watched them dramatically hold the other and cry as he shook his head. Suho however, smiled and got a weird sense of deja-vu, like they were back in high school.

If only this was high school and their problems were as petty as being in a messy love triangle and low school records.

_

The old friends ate to their heart's content that night. Soojin was force-fed by the girls and treated like a friend by the clan who kept asking her how she was and if she needed anything at all. Suho poured her a drink and asked her to relax and that things would soon fall in place.

She knew they would not but she liked hearing someone say it.

It had been a long time since she had people other than her demons assuring her that it would be fine even when it was not. And she appreciated it.

"Don't you read any comments or pay attention to the response on the posts." Jugyeong shook her head, placing her hand on Soojin's, "we know you, Kang Soojin, and you don't deserve any of it."

Soojin nodded. She however could not stop glancing at her mobile, hoping she'd get some response from the boy who dipped from her life after that night.

"Kang Su, your hands..." Suah commented taking her hands in hers, admiring at how pretty they were. "They are so soft and beautiful." She said, teary eyed again after drinking two shots of Soju.

"Just like you, my Suah-ah-" Soojin smiled back at the tipsy friend of hers. "You have no idea how much I missed you calling me Kang Su! It has been a long time since I heard someone call me that."

Su-ah clasped her arms around Soojin again, "I missed you too Kang Su. There was not a single day I did not think about you and wished you were happy and safe, wherever you are."

"Is it?" Soojin patted Suah's head softly, a teasing smile on her face. "Then why did you be so standoffish the previous night? Ya, that hurt my feelings!"

"Mian Mian-" Su-ah was still clinging onto Soojin like she'd fall if she let go, "I was a bit upset that you did not come visit us in the past decade. I was overwhelmed to see you and acted so rashly, I am sorry."

Soojin did not care. She was just happy Su-ah was her friend again and this time she would cherish their friendship.

"Every time she is even a little tipsy, she keeps hugging everyone!" Taehun commented, pulling Su-ah away from Soojin. "Ya, why you never hug me like that?"

"Are you prettier like my girl here?" Su-ah snapped at her boyfriend, pointing at Soojin. "Look how pretty she is so how can I not hug her?"

"It's Kang Soojin, isn't it?" Taehun whispered to Suho who sat beside him. "She is going to steal my girlfriend, I knew it."

"Trust me, I have the same fear. With the way Jugyeong is wrapped around Soojin's finger, it is hard to believe that she'd consider loving me."

Taehun chuckled, the girls were once again lost in their silly conversations and pretty faces.

"We should get Han Seojun to take his girl away from our girls." He joked, finishing the rest of the drink and Suho smiled at the statement.

Only Han Seojun could save their relationships, if he could only save his.

While the boys wrapped things up in the main room, the girls helped clear the kitchen and stuff the leftovers in the fridge. Soojin then toured the girls to her little apartment and they were proud of their girl and of how much she had grown.

"It must have been so miserable to be alone all these years." Jugyeong sighed, Suah nodding in agreement as the girls sat on Soojin's bed. "We are sorry we weren't there."

Soojin shrugged, "you guys ae here now. That is all that matters."

"So, what is the tea?"

Both Jugyeong and Soojin frowned at the ecstatic Su-ah who sat on the bed with her legs folded and hands clasped in excitement.

"What tea?"

"Between you and Seojun!" Su-ah remarked with a wink, "I heard you guys are back again? Isn't that the reason the entire scandal started?"

Soojin chuckled, "we are not back, and we were never together to be 'back again'."

"Don't lie, Kang Su." Suah pouted, hands slapping Soojin in excitement, "we know you two used to be a thing back in High School."

"A thing?" Soojin rolled her eyes, "it was just a project and we were partners. That is it."

"Partners don't kiss each other, you know."

Soojin glanced at Jugyeong who sheepishly smiled, raising her hands in surrender.

"Tell us! Do you or do you not like him now?"

Soojin gulped, looking at her friends who were definitely not acting their age and then remembered that night which was tattooed in her head.

She'd be lying if she said she did not like him, considering how much she did like kissing him.

Just as she did that night.

Kissing him.

Again.

"do you want me to leave?" Soojin asked, afraid of the answer. But she needed one nevertheless. "all you have to do is say yes."

Han Seojun met her eyes. She hated how cold they were now as opposed to how they once were.

Full of life.

She wanted him to live. She wanted him to smile again, and not the fake paparazzi smile. Rather the smile which would brighten her dull days. The smile she lived to see again for the past decade of her life.

"Yes."

Soojin's heart broke. She could tell that he wanted her to leave and they were not that close as they once were. Seojun was dealing with his traumatic life in his own way, no matter how twisted it was. She had no right to barge in his life without him wanting her to be there.

Soojin nodded, "I'll stay away." She replied, eyes lowered and a sigh escaping her lips. "I only wanted you to be happy again, Seojun. To live again. To breathe again."

She took a step back, hoping to call it a night so she did not have to cry in front of the tall man but Seojun's stopped her by holding her arm. She was taken aback at the sudden gesture, and looked at the man with a confused stare.

"You are really going to leave if I don't want you around?" He asked, tilting his head and meeting her eyes. She could feel her cheeks warm up at his warm glance. "Can you stay away from me, princess?"

Soojin gulped in nervousness. This was not Han Seojun rather the alcohol talking. She did have a high tolerance to alcohol and could withstand a good amount of liquor without passing out but Seojun seemed drunk for him to actually confront her than run away.

He took a step closer, her hand still in his grip.

"Seojun-"

"I missed you, Soojin-ah. I missed you so much in these past years." He replied, towering over her with his face lowered and his warm breath hitting her cheeks. "You have no idea what I have been through, love, without you."

He was too close for comfort and she could feel her heartbeats rising.

Soojin should stop this. She was in her senses. Or was she?

Seojun's presence was still enough to intoxicate her and drive her insane.

"Did you miss me?" He asked, stopping before he could finish the distance between them and Soojin noticed how her breath was hitched.

"I did not miss you." Soojin replied, honestly, her hands sliding to hold the hem of his jacket. "You miss people you forget and I never forgot about you, Seojun. Not even for a second."

Maybe she was a bit drunk.

Because sane Soojin would never confess to her feelings, atleast not like this.

There wasn't much to think after that because Seojun pulled her closer by the waist and lowered his head further to kiss her. More so to re-claim those lips he had once tasted and found them to be just as captivating as they were before.

"Seojun - what... what are you doing?" Soojin managed to whisper despite her heart beating rapidly against her chest. 

Seojun let their noses touch, a soft smile on his face. "What I wanted to do when I saw you again..." He replied, his soft whispers were putting her in a daze.

With that Seojun kissed her, pulling her closer even when there wasn't any inches of distance between them. Both his hands holding her face, drawing her closer and kissing her - rather crashed onto hers and she had to take a step back from the pressure. 

She kissed him back, tip toeing on her bare feet while her heels lay strapped aside. Her hands wrapped around his neck and her sanity tossed out of the window. 

Their lips were in synch, hungrily and desirous of more. More than what they were, more there was to offer. The taste of soju and beer lingered in their senses as their scents mixed, hands gripping firmly onto the other.

Seojun did not let her go, even when she tapped his shoulder asking him to stop so she could breathe. He was afraid that the the glass of illusion would shatter if he let go and so was she. So they remained slammed against the other, her back finding the concrete wall as Seojun devoured her.

They found themselves back when they were 18 and life wasn't so complicated and dark. 

"You drive me crazy, princess. Crazy." He whispered against her lips, panting heavily while Soojin buried her crimson face in his chest. "I missed this, I missed you."

"I missed you too." 

Soojin sighed. Either all of that was just in the spur of the moment or he forgot about it.

_

a/n 

what can i say, Han Seojun ate (quite literally)

i had thought about this long back but could not write it down. hopefully i made up for the late update lol! 

that being said, we are close to 100K! Thank you for being patient, supportive and so kind with me and this story <3