Everything that you've ever dreamed of
Disappearing when you wake up
But there's nothing to be afraid of
Even when the night changes
It will never change
Me and You

- one direction

55. night changes

Lim Jugyeong had been bullied all her life. If it was for her low grades, or certain mannerism or even a disorder - she'd understand the justification behind the bullying - not accept it of course - but understand it.

She would have tried to study more, change her habits or even work on her disorderly manner that got her bullied so she wouldn't have to cry herself to sleep every night.

But it was her plain, ugly and pathetic face that got her uncalled remarks - pushing and dragging - and even used as a trash can. It took so much - almost every ounce of her will - to get back on her feet using make-up as her shield.

Was she hiding behind a facade? Yes. Definitely.

But was she hurting anyone with that? No. She never intended to hurt anyone - that was never the reason why she opted to use makeup. It was deceiving - yes - but it was way better than being called names and bullied.

Her self esteem was at the lowest - probably underground - when she met Lee Suho. And till date, she never got why Suho - the most handsome and smartest boy of the school - liked her. Her doubts would resurface many a times - something Suho was used to - and she'd find herself asking Suho if she was even worthy of her.

Although she was pretty confident about herself now, liked her natural face and everything about it - there were times when the old voices of her bullies would echo in her mind. She had made peace with all of them, forgiven them and forgotten most of them.

Except the betrayal she received from the girl she loved so much - more than herself - and despite being hurt by her actions, Jugyeong would find herself worried about the whereabouts of the said girl.

Kang Soojin was her best friend - family - once and a part of her would always be with that confident, haughty and extremely pretty girl.

When Suho told her that Soojin had left - ran away - from a toxic household, Jugyeong's anger and disdain towards Soojin transformed into sympathy and concern. Never did Jugyeong realise before that moment how Soojin must have kept a straight face whenever they were around.

She had mentioned about her father and the stress marks on her hands - something Jugyeong couldn't do much for - but she didn't realise how traumatic it was. That was partially because she had good parents - mom a bit overbearing but loving and a dad who'd die for her - and partially because she was dealing with her own life.

Jugyeong also considered herself to be a bad friend of having nothing to do with a girl who was suffering silently. She was so preoccupied with Suho and her family and with her bullying video being published - the thought about Soojin slipped out of her mind.

And ever since that Jugyeong felt guilty. It wasn't fair on her either to help a friend who stabbed her in the back given the circumstances, but she still felt so guilty.

Ever since that day - the day she learned that Soojin left - till date, she'd been awaiting Soojin's return. Without any number to contact to or any address to write to, Jugyeong only had the option to wait.

And she did.

Patiently.

And when she got the chance of meeting Soojin - something she gave up on - she uttered the words she had been longing to tell her lost friend.

"I missed you."

Kang Soojin was at a loss of words. She didn't believe it really was her friend hugging her.

She had forgotten how hugs felt to be honest. Being alone for the last decade had been taxing on her mental and she was fine by herself until she met Jaehun the last year - story for another time.

With all the studying and working she did on the side, Soojin hardly had time to address her feelings for anyone - Seojun or others. But whenever she did get some spare time, she'd ponder on what Seojun was doing or how Jugyeong was or did Suah even miss her.

Because she really missed them.

Years back she had written a letter - an apology letter - to Jugyeong and Suah, apologising for being an ass of a friend and hoping to be forgotten if not forgiven. She had kept it short but explained her immature side and didn't let her abuse excuse herself from the mistakes she did. She even wished them well and hoped that they (Jugyeong and Suah) were still friends.

When she got no reply from either of them - Soojin wondered if they had even forgiven her or worse, whether they actually forgot her. Or did they just toss the letter out and laughed on her silly act.

She made peace with the fact that she apologized. Maybe they didn't want to contact her - which was reasonable given how much they were hurt by her.

She had forgotten the power of a human touch and how soulful hugs could be until Suho had hugged her last week and Jugyeong - now. She never was a very huggable human being nor did she like hugging others. Her reactions to hugs were often keeping her hands awkwardly at the side.

But, with Jugyeong's sweet strawberry scent and her warm soft body pressed on hers, Soojin couldn't hold back.

Suho helped take the cups and packet from Soojin's hands and on cue, Soojin wrapped her arms around Jugyeong. Tears welled in her eyes - tears that she held back - as she hugged Jugyeong back.

She really missed this.

"I'm sorry."

That was all Soojin said, or manage to say before Jugyeong found herself in tears too. Oh why did she have to be pmsing at the same time - it was making her an emotional mess.

"You should be!" Jugyeong broke the hug, hands firmly on Soojin's shoulders. "How could you go MIA for ten years and not come to meet us once? Did you not miss us at all?" Jugyeong had definitely grown much confident and assertive.

"I - " Soojin shook her head - unable to believe that she was actually in tears - holding Jugyeong's hands. "I - I thought..."

"Soojin-ah..." Jugyeong raised Soojin's hands holding hers mid-air. "Waah, your hands are so soft and so pretty!" She said that with so much awe and pride that Soojin was choking with emotions. The tears she tried holding back fell rather instantly when Jugyeong mentioned about her hands. "I'm so proud - it must have been so hard."

Soojin lowered her gaze - crying as she nodded. Her hands were always a sensitive topic to her. They had borne abuse for years and she had been ruthless towards them. She had to resist the urge to scrub them for years on end and oint them with all the moisturizers and lotions Jugyeong had prescribed.

"Don't cry." Jugyeong hugged the girl again, patting her back softly. "Because I'll cry too - you know how I cry right!"

The girls were almost 30 but felt like 13 year olds when they hugged each other and cried. Lee Suho had a relieved grin on his face as opposed to the confusion and wonder on the others faces- Mr. Choi with an amused expression.

"It feels like we're interrupting something." H - the band pianist - said, hand on the other confused member. "What's the backstory Sa-jang-nim?" He asked Lee Suho who shook his head.

"Way too messy."

Seojun - who had followed Soojin - was just as content as Suho was. Maybe even more. After a long time - years - he felt at ease, his heart didn't feel that heavy and he almost felt happy. Until he was reminded of his past again and that cold hand reaching out to him.

Seojun shook the thought out of his head - a shudder - as he looked at the girls crying, like they were lost sisters from other life. Jugyeong was happy and Soojin - he looked at her hands - she'd be happy too.

As long as she wasn't with him.

_

Jugyeong snatched Soojin away for the rest of the day. Mr. Choi couldn't refuse given Jugyeong was Suho's fiance and Soojin seemed like she deserved a day off after all the late nights. Seojun didn't care - or pretended to not - as he joined his band for the rehearsals.

The girls went for lunch. Jugyeong had tons and tons of stories for Soojin to catch up to and Soojin was equally thrilled to listen to it all. The engagement - the social media influencer - the friends - Suho's family - her family - stories of their outings - Suah's career switch - and Han Seojun.

"Why didn't you come back sooner? Suah and I have been waiting for you ever since."

Soojin chuckled, sadly, "I thought you didn't want to reach out. After sending the letter, I didn't get any reply so - "

"Wait? What letter?"

Apparantly neither Jugyeong nor Suah got Soojin's apology letters. She learnt that when she posted them, Jugyeong was studying for a beautician course in another city and Suah had shifted to another house. That meant they didn't get the letters and also meant Jugyeong forgave her without an apology.

"Jugyeong - ah, I really am sorry for what I did. I was so stupid and selfish back then. I should never have - "

"I'm sorry too." Jugyeong fought back tears, "I should have tried to help you rather than let you face it alone." She sniffed, clearing her throat when the waiter placed their food on the table. "Call it even?"

The spread on the table was lavish, Jugyeong's treat for their little reunion. And while Soojin enjoyed the time - Jugyeong was always a delight - she couldn't help but be constantly worried about the man she left behind.

Han Seojun was all that she thought about ever since she saw him again.

"I don't know much - " Jugyeong could read Soojin's face - now that she didn't hide her feelings - and observed how unstable she was. " - but were you and Seojun a thing back in..."

Soojin almost choked on the water she was gulping - thanking Jugyeong for the tissue and ignoring her suggestive glare - "what do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean! There's no way you were just 'hanging out'." Jugyeong raised her eyebrows, arms on the table. "I always thought Seojun liked you in High School but the way he's so hung up on you - that just proves that he lov -"

"Aniyo - " Soojin cut Jugyeong off, there wasn't any requirement for complicated feelings right now. "We were just friends - I guess."

"YA BUT THE SEXUAL TENS - "

Jugyeong was fed a dumpling immediately by a mortified Soojin. Never in this lifetime did Soojin expect a bold and outspoken Jugyeong. The people sitting near them eyed the duo with confusion and disgust but Soojin apologised for the ruckus.

"What are you even talking! There's nothing between us..."

"Rigffh - nofing bedween you - " Jugyeong scoffed, muttering with her mouth full. "The way you both look at each other - might as well get a room is what I'm saying - "

Kang Soojin shut her eyes. Flushed - her cheeks were warm and her heart did a flip - and embarassed.

Where was the shy - cute - embarassing Jugyeong?

"Don't tell me you don't see it."

"Lim Jugyeong, you've gotten it all wrong." She took a minute - her cheeks were crimson red by then despite trying to not think about it - as she faced the sunshine girl. "I'm here only to help Seojun. That's it. In fact, I don't want him to deal with anything else except what's already on his plate..." Soojin's serious tone caught Jugyeong off gaurd and the reality of Seojun's life hit them.

They sat silently. Jugyeong knew - via Suho - that Seojun's fate depended on this month and by far no one could do anything to prolong it. But she also knew how much Soojin affected the man, of course she did, she had seen him with that -

"Soojin-ah - "

"Hmmm"

"Have you thought about just talking to Seojun?" Jugyeong kept the chopsticks on the side, taking Soojin's hand in hers. "Seojun hasn't spoken to anyone about his feelings ever since - I mean he just needs to vent it out to someone. I've tried - Suho did too - but he hasn't cried much since the accident and has kept it all inside. He needs to let it out and not just to a paid therapist. To someone who can assure him about life - about love - about hope."

Soojin looked at Jugyeong attentively, "he won't even talk to me straight - "

"But he talks to you." Jugyeong smiled - a sad longing smile - as she pressed Soojin's hand. "He doesn't speak to me, nothing, not even a word. But he talks to you - even if it's rudely - and I think that's a sign."

Soojin tilted her head - "A sign?"

Jugyeong smiled, an all knowing smile, "did you by chance happen to see the tattoo on his finger?" She raised her right hand and showed her fore finger, "the one he plays his guitar with?"

Soojin shook her head. She hadn't been very observant around Seojun only because her mind was clouded with his thoughts.

"That's too bad." Jugyeong shrugged - placing some meat on Soojin's rice - "that's the only tattoo he never attempts to hide."

Soojin wondered what it could be and how she didn't notice it before while Jugyeong only eyed the girl, a smile on her face.

"I'm glad you came back." She said, adding another piece of the side dish on Soojin's bowl. "I missed you."

Soojin smiled - the first of many - placing the meat on Jugyeong's rice bowl. "I missed you more."

_