Nothin' happened in the way I wanted
Every corner of this house is haunted
And I know you said that we're not talkin'
But I miss you, I'm sorry

- I miss you, I'm sorry (gracie abrams)

54. I miss you

"We'll start from the start..."

The band was practicing for the Busan concert due in a couple of days. It was the first concert after the Gangnam mishap and Seojun got a warning for his last unprofessional act. He had run off from the stage at the very last minute and it took two months, a public apology and a deal with a non profit to get Starlight back in the light.

The Busan concert had to go smoothly so they could have atleast few days without any controversy.

"Something isn't right." The manager - Mr. Jang - had been trying since morning to get the band to practice for the concert but Seojun seemed lost - again. "Han Seojun, where's your attention?"

Seojun couldn't focus. After the storm named Kang Soojin had barged in his life - all he did was think about her. It was like she came into his life and changed the course of it completely. And the worse was that she didn't show up after the first day.

It had been day three since he signed the agreement and Kang Soojin was nowhere to be found.

Maybe she changed her mind? Maybe she didn't want to pry in his matters? Or maybe she thought it best to leave - he would have - and keep to herself.

But he wanted to see her. He'd never admit it - not aloud atleast - but he couldn't get enough of her. It was like there wasn't a decade of a gap between their last meet. Like he had just kissed her last evening - and kissed her again - and -

What the fuck was he thinking?

Kiss? Kang Soojin? Where did that come from?

"I need a minute." Seojun unwrapped the guitar from his side and got off the stage. He walked out of the auditorium and sighed - he was losing his focus - trying to get his head back in the game. "Focus on KMF - not some girl - definitely not her."

"I better not be some girl to you!"

Seojun recognised that voice. How could he ever forget the voice of an angel - a pretty angel- the girl he first loved.

Lim Jugyeong smiled with a little wave when she stood across from him. She looked just as pretty - as Seojun remembered her - without her makeup and in the formal attire. Once a week Jugyeong would drop everything to meet Seojun - and the band - to give him some of his favourite side dishes and sit silently with him for some time.

Seojun didn't speak much - not even to tease her - and Jugyeong would rather sit with Seojun in silence than not at all. She didn't nudge him to speak to her or share what was troubling him - Suho often updated her - but she liked how he couldn't say no to her.

Seojun nodded with a small - tiny - smile as Jugyeong reached for a hug. She left the polythene bags on the floor as she wrapped her arms around the tall guy - Seojun's hands lay on his side - enveloping him in her sweet strawberry scent.

"Did you miss me?" She chirped, smiling ear to ear as she looked at him - Seojun nodded - "I missed you too! I'm sorry i couldn't come last week, I got caught up with work - the most insane thing happened -"

Seojun heard her, intently. He didn't have a interesting life - no life - so Jugyeong's tidbits about her work and clients and friends seemed interesting to him. That and he didn't have the heart to ever say no to the girl.

There was something about her angelic smile that often seemed to provide solace to him. Not lately - nothing comforted him lately - not even Jugyeong.

"Let him breathe, you are strangling him!" Lee Suho shook his head with a smile as he watched Jugyeong wrap her arms with Seojun. "Jagiya - " Seojun cringed at the nickname - "stop bombarding him."

Jugyeong beamed with her nose in the air. "Seojun's my best friend, I have the right - nay I have all the rights - to bombard him. You're just jealous of our friendship." Jugyeong raised her eyebrows, Seojun looking at Suho unfazed.

"I was jealous - " Suho raised his eyebrow in response. "But now I've gotten a friend too you know, probably way more closer than you two could be."

Seojun's eyes narrowed at the CEO who hinted who the new friend was and Jugyeong shook her head - amused - facing Suho. "There's no way you got more than two friends, Suho-ya, your one friend is Seojun and the other one is me."

Suho chuckled, nevertheless hugging his fiance and kissing her forehead - again making Seojun feel out of place - as the couple faced the bored singer.

"Ani, I'm telling the truth." Suho had his hand wrapped around Jugyeong's shoulder - pointedly looking at Seojun - as he grinned. "Seojun-nnie knows too, in fact a little too well."

Jugyeong was confused - frowning at the duo - as she wondered who this new person was. Seojun didn't know if Suho had already informed about Soojin's re-entry in their lives get but it seemed like she didn't know.

"Wait a minute - " Jugyeong furrowed her eyebrows, taking a step towards Seojun and then turning towards Suho. "Is it - are you - it's not right?" Jugyeong had malfunctioned, almost broken like an old tape recorder. "Who is it?"

Seojun glared at Suho - if looks could kill Suho would have been dead by now - and asked him with his intense stare to let him go. But Suho shrugged in response, a smirk on his handsome face.

"You know what - " Suho checked the time, "she would be joining us any time now, so might as well wait for her to come."

"Oh - I'm excited!" Jugyeong grinned again, taking her bags but Suho beat her to it. "This new person is close to you? And Seojun?" She enquired, walking towards the auditorium - hand in hand with Suho as Seojun stayed behind.

"Way too closer to Seojun than me to be very precise." Suho was too far from Seojun or else he'd be in a chokehold by now.

Sighing, he turned - making his way towards the lobby - as he pulled his hoodie on his face. Being an idol made him a master of disguise - oversized hoodies, long hats or caps and sunglasses - they often did the work. He sat in the cafe, sipping his water - everything else wasn't allowed for him to drink - when he looked at the duo who got his attention.

Kang Soojin and her what's - his - name partner, walked in the hotel - she looked prettier per usual and he looked just as grim as he was - heading towards the auditorium. Seojun didn't like how he felt in the moment - the anxious confusion seeping through his veins - when he watched Soojin with her boss.

She didn't matter to him - then why did he feel so intimidated by the man he didn't know.

"Are you going to keep staring at me from a distance or join us?" Soojin had called out to him from the entrance of the cafe - getting him by complete suprise - as she waved. There weren't many people in the cafe, so that was a good thing.

"Who said I was staring at you?"

"It's okay Seojun - ah, you can admit you find me attractive." She titled her head with a flirtatious smile. "I do have that effect on men - and women."

Seojun rolled his eyes but that didn't stop Soojin from sitting across the table. She ordered two cups of coffee to go and a chocolate muffin while Seojun kept glaring at the woman.

"Stop, you'll drill a hole!" She chuckled - pissing Seojun even more - as she placed her arms on the table and looked at him with a smile. "I didn't come for two days - did you miss me?"

Seojun scoffed - sitting back - as he met her eyes. "I had the best two days of my life." He said in a monotonous voice. "Why don't you stay away for longer so I could be a bit more happy?"

"Ouch - " She shook her head with a little tsk sound, "you sure have a way with words."

"Kang Soojin - "

"You do remember my name! Thank goodness, I thought you had amnesia when we met a week back." Her eyes held a glint of both mischief and sarcasm - pressing all of Seojun's buttons - with the way she spoke. "I mean, we go beyond just handshakes and hugs - right?"

An instant flashback of their kiss - kisses - made Seojun avert his gaze. He was both flushed and embarassed by the memory and Soojin's intimidating stare.

"Listen Kang Soojin, stop being annoying and leave."

"Aah, so now you know how I felt ten years back when you kept pestering me." She chuckled - again - thanking the waitress for the coffees. "This is how it feels to be Han Seojun?"

Seojun was out of all the glaring and staring so he just watched her with a displeased look.

"I know for a fact it sucks to be Kang Soojin." She said, her smile vanishing and genuine look of concern washing over her facial expressions. "To be aloof, alone and pretend that everything is okay when it isn't. To be so scared of living that you don't want to. To be living in denial until you die." She sighed, holding back her tears.

Seojun was at a loss of words too. It got too personal too soon. So he sat back, looking at his plain cup of water as against Soojin's pained face. She affected him a lot, even when he was hurting, all he thought about was her feelings.

It must have been so difficult for her to live alone for the last ten years.

She must have been so lonely.

Just like he was.

"Anyway - " Soojin smiled - like she wasn't about to cry a minute ago - and got up holding her styrofoam cups. "Gotta go before my team leader hunts for me." Seojun watched her pay the bill from the counter and head to the door.

"Ya Han Seojun..." She called out - Seojun's heart did a weird thing - "you're not going to get rid of me easily so up your game." With a wave and a smile, she was out - heading back to the auditorium where everyone was.

Seojun couldn't understand why and how Soojin still had the upper hand between them. He also hated how much he could sympathize with her past when he was utterly devastated with his. She never came to meet him, she never communicated or tried to, she didn't care about him for the past decade.

Why the fuck was he being so concerned towards her when she didn't bother to call? Nor text. Nothing.

It didn't matter to her whether he was alive or dead back then. And it shouldn't bother her now.

He had to focus on KMF, that was the last thing he had to do before he was finally done with life. He could greet death solemnly if not happily, and meet his end in his way.

There was no space for Kang Soojin or anything related to her in his life.

Liar, his conscience immediately corrected him, she's been occupying a place in your life since forever.

Kang Soojin walked with the cups of coffee - matcha for her team leader and latte for her - towards the auditorium, a place where the band and the management would be present for their next meeting.

Her heart was rapidly beating - everytime she was with Seojun - as she entered through the door. She could see the faint figures of her boys playing on the stage, Mr. Choi and the manager standing in a corner with Suho on the side.

There was someone besides Suho she couldn't make out, but when she approached them the female figure got more clearer and familiar.

"She's here!" Suho noticed the girl standing like a frozen statue, "Jugyeong-gie, here's the friend I was talking about."

Soojin wasn't dreaming - she almost thought she was - because it truly was Lim Jugyeong standing in front of her. Looking extremely pretty, like a matured adult - they all were - and a smile that met her eyes.

"You're here." Soojin heard her say, she was still processing the moment. Jugyeong took the rest of the steps between them, standing face-to-face to her. "Took you a long time."

That was all she said, before throwing her arms around the girl and hugging her. Soojin's hands stood at the side, holding the coffee cup but her heartbeats were at ease now.

Of course they would be.

Lim Jugyeong was here.

_

A/n Seojun's real competitor is here lol

I missed my girls <3