Please have mercy on me
Take it easy on my heart
Even though you don't mean to hurt me
You keep tearing me apart

- Mercy (Shawn Mendes)

48. mercy

"Am I invisible?"

For a 20 year old, Yoon Jaehun was quite smart - brilliant even. He always scored top three in his classes, be it high school or his current law studies. Although competition often crushed his spirits, he knew he had an upper hand with memorizing and understanding of concepts. Sometimes, he'd be amazed at how easily his mind could comprehend difficult case studies.

But at times like these, Jaehun was at a loss of words and he'd know that all of his studying and all of his degrees can never help him answer questions as these.

Jaehun looked at Soojin like she had a second head. In fact, he even searched for one. Out of all the questions he could have easily answered, this one was out of his syllabus.

"Noona?" Jaehun questioned Kang Soojin who was supposedly the sanest amongst the duo. To see her lost and asking ridiculous questions, showed a different side of hers. "You okay?"

Soojin sighed - for the tenth time that morning - and slumped back in the chair. The study table which Jaehun used was also their dining table for the weekends. Since Soojin and Jaehun would be super busy throughout the week, the weekends was the only time they'd have breakfast and dinner together.

It was sort of a little routine for them. At times, Soojin looked forward to these little interactions all the week. Having nothing to do in life and no friends either, gave Soojin a very small catalogue to choose from. Jaehun's weekends were spent at the local library. Studying was all he did.

Like Soojin, Yoon Jaehun also didn't have friends nor a life.

His life wasn't his either. It was Kang Soojin's. He owed her his life, and everything that came with it. Even though he wouldn't admit it aloud, Soojin was more than just a roommate to him.

An escape? A ray of hope? A blessing in disguise.

"Do I look approachable?"

Jaehun stopped midway from applying the jam to the toast and looked at the girl. "Huh?" He replied, eloquent as his speech was, he snapped his fingers at the woman who was driving both of them to insanity. "Kang Soojin-shi, you are losing it."

Soojin snapped out of her trance and eyed the boy, narrowing her gaze. "I am not!" She sat back folding her arms across her chest with a cute little pout. "I felt invisible when - "

-when Han Seojun walked past her and acted like she wasn't even standing there. She stood like a fool, expecting Han Seojun to atleast acknowledge her presence as a human being if not his friend. When he walked past her, Soojin felt the urge to throw hands with the man and demand the reason for his aloof attitude.

She was very close to swearing. But all she managed to do was watch him leave, without turning back, without a single glance at her. That made her question her human form. Who knows she might have been a kdrama protagonist with some weird powers?

Alas, she wasn't and by lunch, Soojin was back to being a nobody. While the entire office kept gushing over the idol-singer-celebrity and his equally handsome duo, Soojin buried herself in work. That was the one day she didn't mind working her ass off.

The more she was distracted, the less she could think about murdering the said singer. How did she manage to get two equally annoying men under her radar, she didn't know. It was a good thing the next day was a Saturday and she could finally sleep her worries away.

But the weekend brought additional worries when Lee Suho texted her to meet up for lunch. At first she thought Suho asking to meet was just a formality. Something social norms dictate to say when you meet someone after a long time.

She did not expect Lee Suho to still be a man of his word. She couldn't even respond with an excuse to get out of it - especially when he sent her a series of texts.

(+82 XX XXXX XXXX)
Kang Soojin, Lee Suho here.

Let's meet at lunch tomorrow. Messaging you the restaurant's address.

If you deny, I'll have to barge in your house and have lunch there.

Kang Soojin frowned when the notifications poured in. This was one of the rare time she got texts from people other than insurance and banking companies. She read the last line and wondered how Suho would know where she lived.

That was when she got another text -

(Lee Su🧍)
I know where you live.

I have my sources.

See you at lunch :)
My treat

When did Lee Suho get so friendly and annoying? And since when did he start using smiley faces in texts? Did she wake up in a different dimension? Why else would Lee Suho pester her for lunch?

It's not like Suho and she were besties. Not even close friends. She was just an acquaintance for him.

But it was decided she'd go to lunch. Mostly because Jaehun wanted her to leave the house for once.

His exact words were - Noona, get a life.

So for the sake of hers and to prove to Jaehun that she had a life, Soojin agreed by replying to the text. Although now, she was having cold feet. The mere thought of being in the same circle as Seojun's was troubling her. Even though the singer would be busy to be around, she'd rather not go back to the same people she left long back.

"When?" Jaehun looked at her, deadpan. "When what?"

"Nothing." Soojin didn't want the kid to be involved in her petty matters. He already had a lot on his plate. "Finish the milk and then go to the library." She forwarded a glass of chocolate milk towards the boy. "And don't skip lunch, and don't study all the time. Drink water and -"

"Aarasso, aarasso Ajhumma!" Jaehun whined, and took the glass of milk. "I'll be fine." He met Soojin's soft gaze, holding his hand on his chest. "I promise!"

Soojin relaxed, nodding at the kid and finishing her coffee. While she tidied the house at nights, Jaehun would whip them breakfasts in the morning which would range from a simple toast and jam to exotic soups and stew - when Jaehun was in his chef era.

She could not cook to save herself. Although whenever she tried, Jaehun would eat without any remarks or complaints. He was a good kid, well behaved and respectful than his peers. He deserved a better life and at times Soojin would wonder what she'd be without him.

Probably way more lonely and bored.

_

Soojin dressed in a blue denim dress and wore her long black coat over it. She tried to look alive - if not pretty - and mentally prepared herself for the hour long lunch. She knew Suho was a busy CEO and wouldn't have more time to spare for her other than the lunch he proposed.

The lunch was near Haeundae Beach, a sea facing restaurant and half an hour away from her place. She wouldn't have accepted the offer if it was in Seoul. The chances of running across people she knew were way too high.

Although it would have been a beautiful ride alongside the sea if she'd take her motorbike, but with her dress and her hair - Soojin decided against it. The cab fare was gonna hit her monthly budget but she would survive.

And it wasn't like she's gonna meet Suho for lunches again, right?

Yah Kang Soojin, stop being a coward. It's just a lunch. Just an hour.

When Kang Soojin entered the lavish restaurant, she was guided by the hotel manager to the VIP dining lounge when she mentioned she was Lee Suho's guest. The royal treatment was a reminder of her yesteryears and how lavish her lifestyle was. In reality, it was just a facade.

She waited in the VIP room. The entire wall on the left was made of glass, the sun shining vibrantly on the shining beach. This was a change from her mundane life. She didn't remember the last time she left her house for something other than work.

The scent of the room - a mix fragrance of wet soil and first rains - put her to ease immediately and she sat back on the softest cushioned seat. The ambience was vibrant, bright colors and soft music played in the background. The room had quite a few tables but knowing Lee Suho, he probably booked the entire thing.

That made her skeptical - why else would he keep it so private - about the entire meeting. Also, it wasn't a Lee Suho thing to hold lunch at a luxurious restaurant. As far as she knew him, he was a simple man and liked simpler things.

Maybe he changed over the decade? She did. Or he could have gotten a taste for the fame. Or he just booked a random place and she was overthinking per usual.

"Soojin-ah!"

Kang Soojin smiled at the happy Lee Suho who waved at her from the entrance. The hotel staff helped with his coat and few others surrounding him - asking if he was comfortable. Lee Suho greeted them and was left with her when the staff members left.

Suho side hugged Soojin again, this time a bit more informal and relaxed. "Waah, you've grown up to be a pretty woman. I can't believe it's the same Kang Soojin who'd walk around with her nose in the air..." He teased her to which Soojin frowned.

"Lee Su, you're getting way too friendly - way too soon." She narrowed her gaze at the boy - man - smiling at his cheery state. "Who are you and what did you do to Lee Suho?" They chuckled, hugging again and sat across from the other on the table.

It felt surreal. To see Lee Suho happy, ecstatic and cute. He had demolished all the walls around him and Soojin could see how well Jugyeong must have treated him. The last time when she saw him - literally parting ways - he only said goodbye with a firm nod.

This was a refreshing change.

"Learning to live, one day at a time." Suho beamed calling on the waiters to serve them.

Soojin looked at him, confused, "but we didn't order anything -"

Before she could complete her sentence, a plate of gimbap, spicy tteokbokki and seasoned steak was laid in front of them.

All her favourite dishes. Even the side dishes were her favourite.

"Don't look at me like I'm dying." Suho remarked on her silent gaze. "I remember how much you liked eating all of this but couldn't and I remember doing nothing about it."

"Ya!" She interjected, steadying herself. "Hajima, we're not here to talk about the past." She reassured Suho that everything was fine between them with that assertive nod.

Suho served her the gimbap and then poured the wine in her glass, readying one for himself. Soojin hadn't tasted such delicious food in a long time and the first thing she did when she ate it was remember Yoon Jaehun.

Oh, her kiddo would have loved this spread.

One day she'll take him out and eat everything fancy.

"How's Jugyeong?" Soojin asked, the burning question in her mind. "I saw few of her YouTube videos and don't tell her I said this, but her confidence has sky rocketed."

Suho gulped the food in a hurry, "you saw the videos?"

"A few, yes."

"Jugyeong would be glad to hear that." Suho's smile faded when Soojin's did. "She misses you."

Soojin held the chopsticks firmly, and gripped the morsel a little harder. It took everything in her to say the next statement without crying.

"I miss her too."

Then there was silence. Suho didn't push Soojin to speak nor did she initiated. They say back and ate the tasty food with some occasional queries about his father, the company and school mates.

Of course she held back the question she was most interested in.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me about Han Seojun yet." Suho's smile was devious, a slight smirk even. "I thought it would be the first thing you'd ask me."

Soojin lifted her head, meeting Suho's cunning gaze. "I think everyone knows how Han Seojun is doing." She shrugged, a smile to cover up the nervousness she held. "I'm glad he got the success, he deserves it."

She avoided eye contact and fisted her hand, resting it on her lap. The lunch treat did not seem worth it anymore. She left the chopsticks, and dabbed her mouth with the tissues. The food she ate seemed ready to jump right out on the mere thought of Han Seojun.

"I think I should leave." She stood up, she was a bit scared that Suho could hear her heartbeats. And scared she'd overshare her feelings. "Thanks for the lunch."

Soojin grabbed her purse and headed towards the exit. The faster she left the better, some cold air would do her good. But out of all the words she wanted to hear that day, Suho's weren't on the list.

"Han Seojun isn't fine."

Soojin's hand froze at the doorknob and she took two seconds to react to it. She turned and faced a completely crestfallen Lee Suho. His hands rubbing against the other, smile vanished and Soojin saw a tear drop from his eyes.

"What?" She could feel her heartbeats drop, her stomach churning the other way as she approached Suho. "What do you mean by that?"

Lee Suho's teary eyes met Soojin's confused gaze. He gulped, taking his time to speak and Soojin could already feel her world shaking.

"Help him, jebal... Help him before it's too late."

_

A/N

What do you think happened to our beloved Seojun?

Also, we're in Suho Soojin bestie era ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡