Stranger, that's all I see
When I look into your eyes
A soulmate who wasn't meant to be

-a soulmate who wasn't meant to be (jess benko)

47. a soulmate

No one was ever ecstatic to see Kang Soojin. 

She had learned it the hard way. Her parents never cared, neither did her friends. She had no one waiting on her. And it did not matter to her. From a long time, Soojin had been okay—just okay—living by herself. It was okay to not have a close knit of friends, or loved ones, or something to love or a reason to live. That was how she lived for the entirety of her life. 

Alone.

She had stopped living on the validation of others. Or tried her really best to. The past decade was tough, but living and fending for herself had made her expect nothing from anyone and live her best life. Despite her life being simple and monotonous, she was glad that there was no one she expected from and nobody relied on her either. 

But, she always imagined what it would be to meet Han Seojun again. Despite knowing that it was impossible and impracticable to meet the celebrity, she had imagined the reunion a thousand times in her head. There were a range of scenarios she had drawn in her mind, from a hug to a handshake, an awkward encounter, a bickering start or even a kiss—that she blamed her lack of romance in her life—everything but silence.

Out of everything she thought their reunion would be, silence was not on the list. 

There were scenarios where she refused to talk to him but he would, or he did not and she'd initiate but a scenario where both of them pretended to not know each other and look like absolute strangers was not an anticipated reaction. 

That was exactly what they did, look at each other like they were strangers. Like they had no history, no feelings—nothing. He did not flinch at her presence, carrying the blank expressions he did when she first saw him. Soojin saw a reflection of her old self in that nonchalant face. She could see herself in that cold stare. He did not say anything, nor did he acknowledge his presence when Suho and Mr. Choi helped her with the files. 

He blinked away and the bubble of daze Soojin lived in all these years burst aloud. Her heart sank, she could not help but feel in the same dark place she was ten years ago. She had felt the same rejection she did when her father would—

This is not what she wanted. Meeting Han Seojun was meant to be a desire, a want and not a need. And her father was long forgotten—dead to her—and she should not let the past hold her again. It took a decade for her to gain some sanity, some dignity and there is no way she'd strip it down again. 

But it hurt. It hurt when the man she looked forward to meeting the most did not look back at her. And it was evident in her sad gaze that she still felt so stupid and small.

"Kang Soojin!" 

In all her teenage years, Kang Soojin always wanted Lee Suho to greet her with a smile. She often wished for the handsome boy to acknowledge her presence like it mattered. The way he'd lit up in front of Jugyeong, was what she wanted for herself—back then. That had been her trauma response for desperate need of love and validation. She had learned how silly she was in High School, dotting over a boy who never bothered to greet her back. She would be red in embarrassment every time she remembered how obssesed she was with Lee Suho and what she'd do to go back and change the timeline. 

There was no universe in which Lee Suho would smile and greet her back. 

Or so she thought.

Because before she could even raise her hand to wish him an awkward hello, Lee Suho had paved his way towards her and enveloped her in a hug.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING?

Listen Soojin, this is a good time to wake up. 

Kang Soojin took a step back in surprise when Suho hugged her. He wrapped his arms around her, and smelled like fresh apples and mint. Soojin could feel herself losing her mind with the turn of events. She looked at her senior who was eyeing the duo with raised eyebrows and impressed look while Seojun was also watching the duo—expressionless face.

"Kang Soojin, it has been so long." Suho wrapped her in his arms, Soojin's hands froze on each side as she kept her cool. This was still a lot for her to process. Suho greeting her like a lost friend was bound to leave some sort of turmoil in her. "How have you been?"

He broke the hug, looking at her with a warm gaze and a sweet smile. He held her shoulders, happy to see her after a decade and Soojin could tell that by his facial expressions. He really was glad to see her. But he did not seem surprised, more thrilled than startled. 

"Just fine," She replied, a smile reaching her lips. 

It was Lee Suho after all. Her friend, her only friend for a long time and in no universe would Soojin even give a cold shoulder to Lee Suho. She looked at him, keenly this time and could easily see a contrast of the Suho from a decade back.

He had his black hair neatly set aside, a brown long coat over his formal attire and his cute boyish features developed with an undertone of ruggedness. His ring finger held a shining silver band, the one she had seen vaguely over the youtube videos and my oh my, Lee Suho was still a heartthrob after all these years. The smile reached his eyes, and although he sounded just the same, Soojin could tell he was elated by this meet.

It made her happy. It was not supposed to, yet it did. 

"How are you?" She asked, politely whilst ignoring the curious gaze of her senior and the cold deadly stare of the stranger from inside the cabin. "You look really good. You always did."

"Well, you look good too." Suho pointed to her, chuckling when she did. His cell phone rang and interrupted their conversation, Suho walked in the cabin to receive it while Mr. Choi turned towards the girl. 

Soojin eyed Seojun from outside the cabin but he never looked back once Suho walked in. Sighing, she faced her senior and bowed in respect. "I am sorry for the commotion." 

"I did not know the CEO of Move Entertainment was a friend of yours?" Mr. Choi leaned closer to Soojin who was still in a daze. 

Soojin nodded, "we were friends..." She hesitated, friend was not the right word but it was better than narrating her twisted history to her senior, "high school friends." 

Mr. Choi held a straight face, he hardly reacted to anything. Kang Soojin would often wonder how he could manage to go so long without reacting and then gave up when he caught her looking at him more than twice. "What about the singer?" They both looked pointedly at the star of the entire show, "was he a friend too?" 

Was Han Seojun a friend?

Did she know him? How was she to say yes and then explain why he did not react to her presence? Or why her heart was so heavy on the absence of any interaction between them?

"no," She lied, shaking her head and averting her gaze from the back of Seojun's head. "We went to the same high school. That is it." She met her senior's eyes, his black orbs were boring right into her soul. His gaze held more intensity—something more than his usual nonchalant gaze. "Can I take your leave?" 

"Sure, you may leave, we'll discuss the assignment after the meeting." He moved back in the cabin—a little flinch when he heard her dreaded sigh—and Soojin turned to go back to her cubicle and disappear for the rest of the day. 

"Kang Soojin?" Lee Suho's voice interrupted her slow walking, he peeped out of the cabin door. "We gotta catch up soon, okay? You are not leaving without a cup of coffee..."

Soojin nodded, "geurae," she said and walked back to her place, a sad little feeling lingering in her heart. 

Why was she so sorrowful? She should have been appalled, embarrassed or even angry at the fact that Seojun did not recognise her—or rather refused to. But she was not upset on him acting as a stranger. She was upset because...

Because he looked like a stranger.

While Suho made her feel like a lost friend, Seojun made her feel empty. He did not bother to greet her, he did not care for her and she realised that in the past decade she had been a stranger to him even when he was her everything. That was why the reality was often disappointing. 

In all her scenarios, Soojin cherished the time she met Han Seojun again. There were fights, bickering, hugs and smiles. In none of them did she felt so out of place. Maybe this was the reason she did not want to meet the man, maybe this was exactly why it should have only been a dream.

Atleast her heart would have been intact. 

Kang Soojin got back to work on her pending mail, her mind was just as dysfunctional as her heart. So all she did is type the same thing over and over again, made tons of spelling errors and then did the mistake of sending it without proofreading it. Before she could realise her error, it was already sent to her senior and few others marked in cc of the email. 

There was nothing more to do now than get an earful from her perfectionist senior. So Soojin shut the laptop in a soft thud and held her head, placing her elbows on the desk. This was killing her slowly. Who knew the reason for her to be alive would be the reason she'd die?

This was madness. Soojin had to take control, atleast in the office premises. It would be stupid to cry in public—something she hated doing. Shaking her head, she got up and marched towards the washroom. A good face wash and a matcha bobba drink could help lift her broken spirits. 

Surely, she can rise up from this. Rejection from a boy she liked? That is her forte, she can deal with this. 

Soojin ignored the unofficial crowd of people trying to sneak a peek of the idol and walked past them all towards the washroom. She took a deep breath before facing herself in the mirror, and looked in her own dark eyes. Her arms resting on the marble basin and hair left open. She had cut them short a long time back, and she liked her shoulder length black hair. They looked pretty on her. Yet she did not feel pretty that day. 

She splashed cold water on her face and looked down at her hands, the sudden deja vu of washing her hands hit her. Worried for her relapse, Soojin took a step back and sighed yet again. How could she be reminded of her father and her dry hands all in one day? And all because of a man who refused to acknowledge her.

This is was being in High School all over again. 

"You can do this Kang Su," She told herself, a voice like Suah's, a soft impression she made whenever she missed her little ferrocious girl. "No man is important than you!" She pointed to herself and nodded in determination—ignoring the judging looks of the female who passed by her. "You get your ass out there and work!" 

Soojin wiped her face with the paper towels and brushed off the nervousness from her shoulders. She clipped her hair in a small butterfly clip and applied light make-up to cover up the rest of her insecurities. She was not going to let a boy ruin her life again, and definitely not go down the same path she left a decade ago.

Do hell with Han Seojun. If he did not care, then neither would she.

However all of it went down the drain when she stepped out of the door and faced the man coming out of the adjacent washroom. Han Seojun paused when he looked at Soojin standing in front of him and the latter almost forgot what she had prepped herself for.

All she did was meet his eyes. His light hazel eyes that were once filled with radiance and now, seemed empty and soulless. His messy hair—that often fell on his forehead and added to his bad boy persona—were styled differently, more professionally than his hand combing. He seemed different, felt different and even though they were just ten feet apart, Soojin could feel acres of distance between them. 

He was handsome—yes—with the leather jacket replaced with a woolen one over a black t-shirt and pants. But the boyish innocence had vanished. The cute little smile, the funny little gaze or his devious smirk—they were replaced with an intense stare, a chiseled jawline and an angry frown. He may look like a handsome upgrade of Seojun from High School, but he was anything but the old Han Seojun. 

Soojin took her time to take in the Starlight Idol, the tattoos on his arms—hidden in the long sleeves her wore—the rings on his fingers reduced to one and the charming personality replaced with a darker vibe. His eyes seemed have a strong hold on her, and his presence—well it was still making her lose her mind. He felt like a stranger—but not quite completely. 

When Seojun walked towards her and the remainder of steps between them fading, Soojin stood frozen. Her eyes still locked with the singer who came closer with each passing second. And all Soojin thought about was—

Was Han Seojun always this tall?

_      

A/N first meet check?