28. like sunshine

"What do you mean she's not here?" Seojun had been waiting for Soojin to join class, math was a death sentence to him and homeroom was boring. He kept glancing at the door, hoping Soojin would be back with her exhilarating questions and the urge to score in everything. He even brought her a strawberry drink, during lunch so it could fall back at room temperature and she could drink it without any issue. Yet, Soojin didn't make it back, not even when the last period ended and Seojun had to march upstairs to check on the girl. "Where is she?"

The doctor was hurriedly packing her stuff, working at the school was only for extra scores, her work was due at the hospital. "Sorry, she just left before I could even stop her." She liked Han Seojun and the way he cared about the sick girl. "Did she not join class?" She enquired, only for Han Seojun to pause because it could mean trouble if Soojin bunked school without permit.

"I was out for practice, maybe she did." He then thanked the doctor, quickly bowing and walked back to the class. There was practice till five and a study session which Jugyeong forced him to do with Suho and the others, however all Seojun actually did was sleep. It wasn't his fault that the lessons were boring.

Although, half the time he kept gawking at Jugyeong and the other half, witnessing Suho and their cute couple antics. So, Seojun avoided the sessions after the first two, honestly the heartache wasn't worth the effort. Plus, studying with the girl he liked who was already dating his best friend didn't seem well phased either.

Seojun had turned to move inside the class but stopped when he saw a faint pale figure out across the hallway. He stopped, and squinted his eyes to double check if he had seen it right the first time.

Kang Soojin was walking towards him, walking was an understatement, more like dragging herself. She looked miserable, sick and would snap in half if a strong wind blew by. So Seojun rushed towards her, and Soojin raised her teary eyes towards the boy only for him to envelope her in his arms.

Kang Soojin froze.

"Ya, where were you?" He asked, holding her as he rested his head on the side of her head, "you cannot go running away like that." Seojun's hold was gentle, Soojin noticed, his arms were long, but he was warm, his scent felt like antidote to her and his voice, the concern lacing in his voice was enough for her heart to beat again.

She had her hands on either side of her, still processing the hug Seojun did in the middle of a not so secluded hallway. She even saw one of them click a picture and that snapped her out of the stance, shifting away while Seojun broke the hug.

"Gwenchana? Do you feel fine?"

He was a fine actor, Soojin would give him that, because anyone could melt with his concern and care and honestly, Soojin would have too if she didn't know about his plan. There was an ulterior motive to him always following her, she knew that, but what she didn't know was the intent behind his actions.

"Why did you rush off from the nurse's office like that? And what were you doing all this while? And why are you still in school, you should have..."

"Han Seojun, I am fine." She cut his long speech, "really fine, I just gotta head to the library."

"You must be really sick if you think I'm going to let you go to the library." Seojun scoffed, and he took her bag against her will, holding it so she wouldn't have to. "You're going straight home, Ajhumma."

Kang Soojin's eyes lit up at that word, with fire as Seojun would say, "did you call me an old lady?"

"I suppose Ajhumma would do since you're such a goody two shoes. Always following by the rules." He teased her as they walked slowly towards the class, steady small steps. "Also, you called me Ahjussi, and since we're the same age, you're an Ajhumma." Seojun smiled, grinned rather from ear to ear, happy by his explanation.

"You really are like sunshine." She grunted under her breath.

"Wae? Because I'm so happy and full of life?"

"Ani," Soojin met his eyes, folding her arms across her chest, "because like the sun rays, you distort my vision." But to her scoff, Seojun only chuckled more, infuriating the girl as much as he could.

They made it through the long hallway, Seojun placed her bag besides his and he shuffled through his papers, keeping a set of pages in her bag.

"What is that?" She asked, sitting besides, her legs were numb from all the meds.

"Love letters," Seojun didn't bother looking at her while rummaging through the papers, neatly tucking them in her bad.

"Love letters?" Soojin tilted her head, eyeing him, "is it legible though?"

"Aish," Seojun glanced at her with narrowed eyes, "not funny." He said feigning anger and Soojin shrugged. "They're notes, from today's class. I didn't want you to worry over them so I tried my best to add whatever I could." He zipped her bag and turned to see a startled Soojin. "Mianhe if they aren't that good."

Soojin was quiet, she didn't know how to respond to that. Seojun had for the first time taken notes by himself and not for him, but for her. She always had to take notes, mostly because they often came handy during revisions and that Su-ah and Jugyeong would never do it. Even when she was sick, she had to attend class and take notes because there was no one to ask for. Suho would act prim and proper whenever she asked him and that left her by herself.

This was the first time Soojin was thankful for a friend.

Someone to fall back on.

_

The ride back home was silent. Soojin didn't have much of a say plus the fact that she could hardly speak because of the throat pain and running nose. It wasn't much of a conversation either when Seojun said he'd drop her to her house only for him to enroute towards his while all she did was hold the bike stand from behind her.

It was funny how much he seemed genuine even when Soojin knew he wasn't.

"Mian," Seojun said, when he halted the bike in front of his house, "I know you wanted to go home, but..." Soojin got off his bike, unbuckling the helmet he put on her, but fumbled when his fingers touched hers. He gently leaned in while he unbuckled the helmet, Soojin's gaze on the soft Seojun who smiled as he kept the helmet on his bike. "But I think a little ramyeon would do you good. My omma makes it so good, you'll feel better instantly." He smiled, pocketing his bike key and walked towards the pale building.

Soojin didn't think much, anything was better than going home and listening to an earful of her father's scolding on why she was sick and an absent mother to defend her. So she stepped inside, every time she stepped in the little house, she felt better if that was even possible. That or the fact that the bare minimum was never given to her, so even the littlest affection warmed her cold heart.

"Omma, we're home." Han Seojun called out, offering to take her coat and bag but Soojin shook her head, "Don't worry Soojin, won't be stealing them." He raised his eyebrows and she gave in, and while he tidied the messy living room, the lady with the kindest smile walked out of the kitchen.

"Seojun-ah, how many times do I have-" Mrs. Han stopped midway, spatula in her hand when she saw Soojin standing with what seemed like a slight shiver. "Soojin, my pretty girl?" She engulfed the girl in a hug before Soojin could bow to greet her. "Omo, you're freezing,"

Soojin noticed how Mrs. Han quickly touched her forehead, then her cheek and immediately brought her towards the little sitting table they had were they'd eat food, tucked her lap with the warm covers. "Ya Seojun-ah, you didn't tell me Soojin was sick." She yelled at her son, who had stepped in his room to change off the uniform.

"I told you!" He screamed from inside his room, it was now a yelling banter. "You're getting old Omma, face it. You're forgetting things." Soojin held her breath, she feared what would come next, something like this in her house would declare a war.

"I'm way younger," Mrs. Han pouted, not being offended at the slightest, amusing Soojin. "Even Soojin would agree, don't you?" She looked at the girl who nodded.

"Ya Soojin," Han Seojun came out lowering his t-shirt over his tracks, his hair messily falling over his face. "You're my friend, not Omma's." He feigned disappointment, nevertheless being teased by Mrs. Han for being the one with the majority.

"When in doubt," Soojin looked at the boy, "I'm always on emo-nim's side." Seojun chuckled at that, sitting across Soojin, resting his arms on the table.

In all the fun and banters, Soojin stayed observant to the way Seojun and his mother interacted. More like best friends less like a parent and child. There was always a close knit bond where one parent dies early and the other fits in the roles of both a friend and a parent. Soojin kept drinking the warm soup with Han Seojun's stories as side dishes. He was describing about his latest modelling shoot to his mother who was listening keenly, even asking questions, so interested and happy. Then she spoke about her day, how the shop she co-owned with her friend was progressing and how they were coming up with new dishes, and Seojun got mad when she mentioned a rude customer.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Seojun was ready to pounce, "I'd beat that man, you should have-"

"Ya Seojun-ah, I've raised you better than getting in fights with people." Mrs. Han side eyed the boy who settled down rather grumpily, "say Soojin, does Seojun get into a lot of fights at school?" The conversation demanded her to speak up and she kept the spoon down, Seojun shook his head from behind his mother who looked eager for some school stories.

"Ani," Soojin shook her head, clearing her throat, "Seojun hardly gets angry lately."

"Jinjja?" Mrs. Han clasped her hands, "Seojun-ah, that's good news. You should focus more on studies now, terms are approaching."

"Omma you know how I cannot sit through these books." He groaned, frustrated, "I just need passing marks, the modelling career may take off but I am hoping for a scope in basketball too."

"I know, you have the memory of a goldfish." She said, shaking her head, "just like your Omma." To that Seojun chuckled, side hugging his mother.

"Pretty goldfish, that counts?"

Soojin smiled, she looked at the duo, the happy duo and instantly she felt sad. Her hands rubbing each other off, the stress and anxieties rising, the fact that one mark off and her parents would throw a tantrum and here Seojun's mom was trusting his kid to make his own life. The way Mrs. Han treated her, increased the temperature of the heating device so she wouldn't be cold, or the way she kept putting more side dishes into her plate than Seojun's.

Soojin lowered her gaze, she felt stupid for being so petty in life because clearly, being good at school meant nothing. She was never loved and after what she did, she knew she didn't deserve being loved and she shut her eyes, tears falling over her hands. She couldn't hold it in, the kindness, the sweet lady and her son, all of it was suffocating her.

She didn't belong her.

She didn't deserve to be treated so nicely.

Why?

"Soojin?" Seojun noticed the girl, tears were trailing over her cheeks, she was shaking. "Ya..."

But Mrs. Han took over, she got up quickly and held the girl in her arms, rubbing her shoulder to ease whatever pain the poor girl was in. Of course she knew what having a breakdown looked like, having a share of them early in life. Han Seojun although looked worried, he got up but Mrs. Han stopped him.

"Seojun-ah, go make some warm tea for Soojin."

"But Omma..."

"Now." Mrs. Han had Soojin in her arms, the girl had buried her face in her warmth, and seeing her in safe hands, Seojun nodded walking away from the duo. "It's okay, my baby," He heard his mother's sweet voice over the silence of their house. "You can cry all you want, Emo is right here with you." And he heard Soojin cry bitterly when she said that and sigh escaped his lips.

_