25. cold

It was cold.

Cold, it was a very trivial word for people, normally meant either a sickness or the feeling against their skin. Or to describe a person with little to know empathy. Or just a state in which food was found.

To Soojin cold was a state of mind. She had first experienced that when she was cold, outside the house for the entire night while her parents fought. It was one of the nights she'd never forget. It was cold, she remembered, she remembered hugging herself to prevent from letting the cold get to her but it did. Her parents were screaming and fighting and she felt safer to stay out in the cold than to step inside.

It was a cold night.

The other time Soojin felt cold was when she dropped to third place in the half terms during the tenth grade. She had terrible cramps on the day of the math exam and that got her two marks lesser which dropped her to the third place. She almost thought it wouldn't matter if it wasn't her father's cold hand that hit her cheek for the first time. She couldn't believe it for the first minute and when the other one landed, she felt cold on that warm day.

It was getting colder.

Soon being cold and aloof became a sense of familiarity to the girl. Suho was cold to her. Her father was cold to her. She was cold to her own self. And in all of that, Soojin got acquainted to this sense of cold numbness that happened to leave a mark.

It was cold, but it was better than anything else.

Soojin started liking the cold. She loved when her mind would go numb, icy shivers would run down her spine during hot noons and when she'd feel all alone in the middle of a crowd. She was accustomed to being this way, and going back to being the cold Soojin she was, wasn't that hard.

She was the queen of isolation and she couldn't ask for anything more.

Yet as she stood in the very cold shower, the constant pouring of the cool water and the fact that she was soaked and drenched in the iciness she didn't feel cold.

Not when Han Seojun stood so close to her.

At first when he started the shower, she was mad, because getting drenched in cold tap water wasn't in her to-do list for the day, but slowly as she let the water wash away her exterior, Soojin felt something weird. Her cheeks were warming up, the heart she thought was stony, had started skipping beats and the insides of her stomach was fluttering.

Her system was crashing and she couldn't blame them either with Seojun who had caged her with his arms. At first, she thought this was some reckless Seojun thing to do, or maybe a little overdose of emotions, like she felt. But as she waited for him to possibly act on further, he did nothing but remain that way.

That was when she realised he towered her only to avoid getting her drenched. It worked, although not efficiently since she was still getting wet from the drops that splashed on him, yet the force was softer, the impact was lesser.

This was the third time Seojun had gone out of his way to do something for her.

The first was when he almost died climbing up nine stories, the second was protecting her from the bullies and then this. Soojin was wondering how she hadn't melted with the way this boy acted towards her and then realised that she was still the same cold Kang Soojin.

They stood there, under the shower for what seemed like an eternity. Although it was just half an hour since half of the boys had already gone, the other done with their two minute shower and when Han Seojun stepped out of stall, to check on the remainder, Soojin let out the breath she was holding.

One day, not today, but one day, she would settle down the desires of her unsettling heart.

"Its clear," Seojun called out to her, she stepped out, walking a small step at a time to avoid slipping and breaking the rest of her pride. Although Han Seojun's laughter made her want to run towards him and strangle him. "Why are you walking around like a penguin?" He laughed again, Soojin was already too flushed with the things that happened and did nothing but kept walking towards him.

Seojun shook the water off his hair, and she averted her eyes, somehow the urge to keep gawking at him was getting stronger and Soojin best decided to leave. "I have my spare t-shirts in the locker," Seojun pointed to his locker, although everything about the locker room was a mess. Soojin could feel the headache coming with the strong deodrant mixed with the tangy sweat smell.

"I have a spare uniform in my locker." She kept squirming around like a penguin, slowly she would make the exit. Seojun had already rummaged through his to get a dry towel.

"Why though?" He asked, drying his hair with his towel, the other one he kept on Soojin's bag.

"Well," She stopped squirming and shrugged, "I suppose I thought I'd get-" She did not have to finish her sentence because Seojun could read her discomfort, of course, blame the nerd Soojin to prepare herself in case she was slam dunked into food again.

"That is one thing I can assure you won't need it for." Seojun said, smiling at the girl, she looked so harmless and cute being all drenched in water. It was almost like it was a new girl and not the Kang Soojin who would one day murder him. "Here," He threw the dry towel towards her, and she caught it, surprised yet thankful as she squirmed again towards the door.

Seojun could not help but chuckle as he dried his upper body, she was still walking carefully to not slip and fall. He watched her reach the door, only to turn back and he quickly averted his gaze, hoping she did not catch him looking at her like some weirdo. "Ya, my bag is still there," She pointed to where her bag lay this whole time, "couldn't you pass it with the towel," She sighed, squirming towards him, "now I'll hav-"

"Ya, why don't you penguin walk through and change, and I'll give the bag to you before you even reach your locker." He mocked her, waving his hand, "off you go little penguin."

"Little?" She called out, even though she had made it through the door, "I am 18 and-"

However Seojun could not hear the rest, she was out of the audible range for his ears and he sighed, a smile still on his lips as he shook his head. To see Kang Soojin squirming like a penguin, he laughed, now that was something he would never forget.

Nor did he want to.

_

"Here you go," The cafe was the only place the duo could hang out without being noticed, so Seojun had offered a quick warm cup of coffee before they would part ways and did notice how the word coffee triggered something for the girl. "One cappicuino, and one glass milk, no sugar, little cream." Seojun nodded, thanking the staff worker as he placed the tray where Soojin sat, all dried up in her new pair of uniform.

Without her long black coat and her hair still a bit wet, the dry tangles interestingly catching his attention more. Soojin quickly took the warm cup from Seojun's hands and held it, the cold was getting to her and she had to keep her hands warm. "You okay?" He asked, sitting across her, the corner table with two seats was now their go-to thing. "You look like you are sick."

"IAMNOT." She said, sipping the milk, burning her tongue but anything was better than being cold. "IAMFINE." Seojun understood nothing, but he shook his head, as Soojin held the cup like her life depended on it.

"YA, will you drink that slowly, you might spill the hot milk on yourself." He sat back, blowing air on his warm coffee. "And since when do you start drinking milk?" Soojin obeyed him and kept the cup on the table.

"Since..." Soojin paused, of course since the last time she got wasted on caffeine like a dork and did weird things. "My life my choice."

"Soojin-ah, you really are a little kid." He scoffed, sipping his warm coffee and felt better at once. "Aish, why did I think you were some smart person, you are more childish than me."

Soojin did not bother to comeback at that, she was busy fighting the urge to sneeze because if she did, she would have to admit she was sick and sickness of any kind was not treated well at home. Seojun watched the girl freeze, hands mid-air and nose scrunched, he frowned, leaning to get a close look because this might be hallucinations from being sleep deprived. However, when Soojin sneezed, not once, but three time in a row and he leaped back like a crocodile.

"WARNING AIGOOO." He yelled taking the tissues, all at once and wiping his hand and his face, "YA!"

Soojin took the tissues from Seojun's hand, since he got them all, and wiped her nose which was now a taint of crimson. "Did you not see me anticipating one?" She felt her throat being hoarse and cringed inwardly, she hated being sick.

Being sick meant seeing a doctor, and not just any doctor, her father, Dr. Kang.

He'd give her the essay on how she wasted her time being sick, inject her with something powerful to get rid of the sickness only for her to fight the drowsiness while studying and end up doing neither resting nor studying.

"Aish, you are so weak." He teased her, the nose redder as she kept rubbing it, "Kang Soojin you should be able to withstand anything." Soojin did not even bother reacting to him, she was blowing her nose, drowning his voice. "Look at me," He pointed at himself, but Soojin was doing anything but that. "YA, you should look at the person when they are talking, what happened to your manners?"

Soojin sighed, signing a 'o' shape with her hand, "this is the number of fucks I give about your conversation." She said with a staight face, "and this is no conversation, this is just you..." She sneezed again, and again, "just you praising yourself."

"Well," Han Seojun ran his hand through his hair, "you're sick by a mere cold shower and look at m-" but this time Han Seojun sat frozen and Soojin looked up at the suddenly mute boy.

Hana... Dul... Ses...

Sneeze. Sneeze. Sneeze. Sneeze. Sneeze.

That was five in a row as Han Seojun covered his mouth, eyes shut because he'd rather be swallowed by the earth or the seas than face Kang Soojin.

But he had to, because his leaking nose needed a tissue. So he opened his eyes to see Soojin handing him a fresh tissue, a smug smile on her face and pride in her eyes. He quietly took the tissue and they finished their hot beverages in peace.

They got out of the cafe and walked towards the school grounds to get Seojun's bike. Seojun had sneezed twenty times by that time and he ended up being feeling colder than Soojin did, so much that Soojin had to wrap her school jacket over the guy.

"Don't people have better things to do than stare," He glared or rather tried intimidating the kids and teens who were looking at the duo, laughing at the sick guy but he only sneezed.

"Ya, will you shut up for some time." Soojin hated being so cold, but Seojun needed the jacket more. "And please, just go home in a cab, why do you have to ride the bike?"

"Because I can't leave the love of my life spend the night in the school parking lot." He said, wrapping Soojin's jacket over him as a wind gushed, "Omma will make me some soup, and I'll be better." He said, his nasal voice was funny yet cute to the smiling girl.

They reached the bike stand, Seojun sitting on it, but unable to hold and almost dropping the bike as Soojin held them both.

She really had to step up here.

"Ya!" She yelled at him, he and his bike were clinging to Soojin, "just let me drop you, okay, I'll send someone to get your bike." They put the bike back on its stand and Seojun agreed rather begrudgingly, and a condition that she'd have some soup with him.

Soojin didn't want her headache to rise and she agreed, with that they caught the cab and sat back, Seojun shivering as Soojin watched the boy warming his hands by rubbing them against the other. She sighed, sitting closer to him, and asked the driver to speed up.

"Soojin," Seojun's soft nasal voice made Soojin to look at the boy, he was red by then, "mian." He said softly, and he held her hand, taking her by surprise. "mian, I should not have switched on the shower." He replied, fighting to keep his eyes open, holding her hand firmly and surely he was catching a fever.

Eventually he did pass out, and Soojin felt his head on her shoulder, hands entwined. "Mian," He heard her before sleeping, "Mian-hayeo, Han Seojun, I should not have ignored you." And with a smile, Han Seojun gave up fighting.

And he didn't feel cold anymore.

_

song attached from Welcome to Waikiki, also my favourite.

I'd appreciate some reviews. Thanks for reading.