21. true chingu

The cake melted the moment Seojun placed it in his mouth. It was soft buttercream mocha frosting on a very spongy vanilla cake and it was from the cafe he worked on the weekends. He had repeatedly gushed over how tasty this cake was to Jugyeong who was working with him then and it surprised him when Jugyeong thanked him for the suggestion.

She remembered.

Seojun felt his heart flutter, and very soon, it turned stone cold, especially when he saw Suho and Jugyeong giggling in the corner, more so he was feeding her the piece of cake, wiping off the cream from her face with a tissue. Seojun sighed, lowering his gaze and held the plate in his hand. The rest of the gang were all seated around the room, soft music playing in the background while Mr. Han their homeroom teacher sat rather uncomfortable with the elder Lim sibling, because her parents were asking him questions poor guy had no answers for. Taehoon and Su-ah were feeding each other, Go-woon was eating the cake with sour expression on her face thanks to the younger Lim sibling who wouldn't stop bothering her.

And there was Kang Soojin, who stood frozen right where Han Seojun had left her.

Seojun noticed how she was also eyeing the couple in the corner, her grip on the plate tighter and the piece of cake untouched. Han Seojun tried to recall why he had brought Soojin with him, even when he knew he was to meet Jugyeong but the earlier incident refreshed his memories.

The girl was broken, inside out.

He didn't gather a lot from the conversation with her mom, but surely, he noted few things.

1. Kang Soojin didn't share a good bond with her parents, and her father especially.

2. There's a Kang Jae-un who is presumably dead.

3. Soojin also wants to die like him.

The last thought brought a slight shiver down Seojun's spine. What in the world was he to do with this information? Clearly, this was serious, because Soojin wouldn't have cried the way she did, plus, she also reminded him of Seyeon and that triggered his PTSD.

Should he go speak to Suho? Would he know what was to be done here? Maybe he'd know how to talk to Soojin best considering they were friends.

But the scandal.

Maybe Jugyeong? She was one of Soojin's favourite girls and they shared their secrets too.

But the bullying.

Or Su-ah? Weren't the duo friends from middle school? He remembered seeing Soojin with the always ecstatic girl and her boyfriend.

But the fallout.

Aish

Why? Why him?

He walked towards the girl, and she averted her gaze from the couple to the boy. "Ya, the cake is too good to be ignored." He pointed, as he finished his in one bite. Soojin looked at the ill-mannered Seojun whose mouth was now stuffed with cake, the frosting smudged over his lips.

"Here," she gave him the dish, "you can finish mine too."

Han Seojun's eyes widened in delight, "jinjja?" He said mouthful, and Soojin found it more cute than infuriating. "True chingu," He said that in English as he ate that piece too, Soojin fought the urge to smile.

"Chingu?" Soojin asked, hands folded across her chest. "We're friends now?"

Han Seojun paused mid eating his cake, the frosting now all over his mouth, a little kid in disguise. "Ya, why are you hurting my feelings?" He said, louder and muffled, "we're friends." He gulped the cake as Soojin sighed.

"Frenemies." She corrected him, once again getting his full attention, "we're frenemies."

"What's that?" He asked, wiping his mouth with the tissues she forwarded to him, "Ya Kang Soojin, are you making up English words so you can fool me?"

Soojin chuckled, her smile tugging at Seojun's heartstrings. "Seojun-ah, you and me both know that I don't even have to try to fool you." Her head tilt just added so much light to her dull face, "you're very gullible."

Instead of fuming at the insult, Han Seojun frowned, stomping his foot. "Ya, what did I say about making new English words!" His feigned anger and Soojin's soft chuckles were drowned by Mr. Lim's speech.

"Gomawo for each for you that you all removed a little time for me from your busy studying schedules," Mr. Lim addressed the crowd of kids who booed at his speech, "I mean it."

"Appa, wae, why are you so dramatic?" Lim Ju-young said, sighing dramatically while Go-woon punched his arm.

"Ye, Appa," Lim Hee-Kyung yelled from her place, loud enough for all of them to hold their ears, Mr. Han however resisted it. "This was a nice evening, nevertheless, wasn't it grapefruit?" She teased her boyfriend and the teens teased him further on that nickname, making Mr. Han a tomato from a grapefuit. 

"Would it not be better if Han Seojun sang for us?" Jugyeong said and both Seojun and Soojin looked at each other briefly before looking at Jugyeong. The rest of them sat up at the exciting suggestion, having Seojun's voice bless their ears was truly refreshing.

Han Seojun could feel Soojin's uncomfortable shifting, and he was not ready to sing either, even for Jugyeong. "Ani, I don't feel so good." He lied, although in a way, he did not. "Plus, my throat..." 

Soojin was the only one to vouch about his lying because his voice was magnificent just an hour back and she would be an idiot to deny on how beautiful his gift of singing was. However, she was thankful to the boy in not persuing the request, lest she would have to be embarassed about the earlier incident. 

Seojun's denial made them all boo louder, Go-Woon and Suho the only ones to not add onto it, both of them knowing the dark side of singing to the ex-idol trainee. 

Thus the conversation was short-lived when dinner was announced and the gang cheered, excited for some tasty dishes. However, Soojin bowed to greet the Lim parents and took their leave. Han Seojun was astonished at the thought of Soojin leaving alone more so than early but she didn't wait for any of their reactions, knowing well that it would just be happy smiles.

"Kang Soojin," Mr. Han their homeroom teacher called out to the departing girl, "I'll join you, if you don't mind." He nearly escaped the clutches of his girlfriend, exhausted with the questions and the insanity of the Lim kids and both of them walked out of the house.

Seojun watched the girl go, a little less worried since Mr. Han was with her, that man was the only nicest guy Seojun had ever come across and if not him, than Soojin would be in safe hands with the teacher. Lim Jugyeong wrapped her arm with Seojun, taking him by surprise and averting his attention from the door to the happy girl, "Appa loved the cake, gomawo Seojun-ah." She beamed, Suho smiling from besides her and even though Jugyeong's smile would have melted Seojun's heart, he was stuck on the last word she said.

Seojun-ah

Didn't Soojin just address him that way too? Did that really meant they were chingu? Or frenemies? 

What even is that word?

"Lim Jugyeong," Seojun turned towards the duo, making their way to the dining table, "what is frenemies?" 

"Um," Jugyeong paused, English was a tough language for her too, although Suho knew the meaning perfectly well, he did not interrupt her thought process. "Friends who are enemies," She said, nodding to assure him and herself, "or enemies who are friends." 

Friends who are enemies? They were not friends to begin with.

Enemies who are friends? Were they friends now? 

"Ya Jugyeong," Han Seojun hit Jugyeong's head softly, the latter gasped, "you need to focus more on literature, that makes zero sense." And Jugyeong cursed under her breath, loud enough for Seojun to run before the crazy girl would catch up.

_

Mr. Han was always walked over, he had no sense of authority over the kids, did not promote competition in class and never allowed any sort of negative mechanism as a medium to helping kids. Soojin never really liked the teacher, well she did not hate him either, as much as she did to the Math teacher who often kept praising Suho to the point that her ears would bleed. But Mr. Han had no remarkable quality she looked for in a teacher, when it came to academics and learning. 

"How are you?"

Kang Soojin stopped walking. She just froze. Out of all the pleasantries she expected to hear, a genuine question was something she didn't see coming. And she knew it was a very formal question, yet coming from the homeroom teacher with his soft voice, it wasn't one.

Mr. Han had to look to his side to realise Soojin was behind and he walked back to her. "Gwenchana?" He asked, the girl didn't seem well to him lately, "is everything okay?"

Soojin fought back tears, she was very vulnerable that evening and she had to very wisely choose how to react. A little slip of her cold demeanor may lead to people thinking she's softer now. So with a sigh and head held high, she smiled, nodding in affirmative. They proceeded to walk towards the road, it wasn't too late and halting a cab would be the best option for the girl to avoid the drama at home.

"I hope you're taking care of yourself." Mr. Han said again, while they made their way out of the little lane, "don't let competition and winning steal the little joys of life." He reprimanded like a sweet wise man, Soojin only heard politely. "Also, I know this is off the record and teachers should not be saying this often, but I'm proud of you, Soojin Kang." He said with a smile, Soojin was astonished on how genuine that smile was. "You've come far and I'm sure, you'll be one day farther from here too."

What did that mean?

Soojin never got words of appreciation from anyone ever. The school was busy appreciating Suho for always heading for the first position and she'd fade away in the crowd. Her parents always wanted her to score first and thus never admired the efforts she took even though she didn't ace. Her school friends had worries of their own to ever look at her with admiration and even the private tutors mocked her for being silly in her mistakes rather than praising her for the second place she got.

So she never really got someone who told her that they were proud of her.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Han, if I may interject..." She softly interrupted the teacher who only nodded, "you're proud of me? I mean," she scoffed, reality was far from that. "I dropped four places in the term exams, skipped school for the entire week, didn't get to submit the project details on time, bullied-" she stopped, admitting her mistakes out loud was another thing that'd would soften her cold demeanor. "I've done so much worst this year, I could never believe there's something to be proud of about me."

Mr. Han had a smile on his face throughout Soojin's interrupted speech, after all he knew about the girl, the things she did, the things she faced and the things she hid about, Mr. Han was glad Soojin was still with him and that school competitions and exams were worthless in comparison to the life of the student. He would never want to compare a kid to some mere numbers and have them worry for their entire life.

"When you look at yourself, in the mirror, what do you see?" Mr. Han countered with a very weird question, to which Soojin had no answer.

How was she to tell him that she didn't glance at the mirror, mostly because she didn't like the person she was becoming.

"Kang Soojin," Mr. Han smiled at the girl, as a cab halted for them, "it takes a bigger person to forgive someone when they wrong them, but even more for a person to forgive themselves and look past their outer shell to understand who they truly are. So take pride, not much to fight against the Almighty, but enough to fight for yourself."

_

take pride and fight for yourselves