Part 1: Your mission, what it is and how it works (Should you choose to accept it, of course. Just kidding, you either do this, or you die. Again.)

Now that we've gotten you used to the idea of being Death's wacky janitor—or not. Probably not. And I still don't care--it's time to move on to the next and most important part of your new job.

The Death Ledger.

Or, known by its less ominous and cool-sounding name: that notebook you woke up next to when you died. Yeah, yeah, exactly, that creepy little notebook you're staring at right now because it's giving you the heebie-jeebies?

I want you to pick it up, nice and easy. I know it's freaking you out and making you feel like a schizo on meth, but do it. C'mon, don't be shy.

Done?

Good.

You are now looking at your Bible.

No, I'm not being melodramatic. Your holy book. Your daily bread. The one thing—besides Death—that's going to rule the rest of your undead life.

Other than the creepy, Horcrux-like feeling that it's giving you right now, you might be wondering what's so special about a book?

This little baby, tells you who is going to die.

Nobody really knows how or why, but it all boils down to this. It's magic. Shit explanation, but suck it up, we don't have anything better at the moment.

Ledgers are given to us when we become Reapers, and they are intricately tied to us. Each Reaper has his/her/their own Ledger, and each book is tailored to us, our individual divisions and personalities. They are the source of our powers and the very thing that keeps us, well, undead.

In a way, they are our Precious—cue the creepy Gollum voice—and your new and most valuable body part.

Yes, you now have an emotional and spiritual bond with a nice, little—possibly freaky and sentient magical being/object worthy of a Stephen King novel—notebook.

Oh quit panicking, the thing won't eat you (I think). It's actually quite the opposite. The notebook is your shield, and lifeblood, the thing that makes you the indestructible badass that you are.

So it's a nice Precious. I think...

Nice or not, the notebook enables you to do the most important thing: your job. Which, truth be told, isn't quite as scary as you think it is.

Actually, most of it is already done for you. Names will pop in your notebook at random, a couple of days, weeks, sometimes even months before the intended person is going to die along with their basic information. This includes their age, exact location and precise TOD, a.k.a time of death.

All this stuff is meant to help you identify your client more easily, and with absolute certainty, before getting down to business.

Apart from all the aforementioned info, the Ledger itself provides, there will be three empty slots which will read as follows.

-Manner of death.

-Cause of death.

And last but most important:

-Serial number.

Now it will be your job to fill in these last three, post-mortem, but we still have one itty bitty thing to cover before that.

The actual dying.

Remember what I told you about being Death's janitor? Your job isn't causing the actual death. It's locating the mess and cleaning it up, no questions asked. Like those professional murder clean up crews—except you work for someone who would make even Marlon Brandon's Godfather choke on his cotton balls.

When the name appears, the first thing you will have to do is obviously, go to the specified location. There, you will probably be met by your boss.

Side-note: Death is... well... scary. Especially the first time you see it. It's not a scary, mutilated cousin of Freddy Kruger, but it's... frightening.

But the one thing you can be comforted by is the fact your interactions with it will be virtually non-existent. Death... isn't really social. Even with its own employees.

In the worst case scenario, it might make... let's call them 'funny faces' at you, or if it's feeling generous, point you to where it's going. Other than that, it will stay away from you. Unless you screw up.

Then it will devour you, Pennywise style.

Just kidding, I'm the one responsible for the devouring part—and believe me, if you ever get to that point, you are gonna wish it were Pennywise dragging you into the sewers. Moving on.

Once you arrive at your intended location, you will have to locate your soon-to-be client before he/she bites the dust.

Side-note numero dos. Soon to be dead people have a bright bluish glow around them, which is a dead giveaway that they are the Droid you're looking for. Yes, seeing the death-glow is another of your superpowers, apart from the insane healing, and dematerialization. Which is another wicked thing you will get to read about in the next chapter.

Now, once you've identified your soon to be client, the next thing you will do is tie a soul knot with them. Soul knots are bonds Reapers form with their reaps in order to draw the soul from the body. Bonds ensure that your reap won't wander or leave your side once he's bitten the dust, and will help you pack them to the afterlife much more easily.

In order to achieve this magical feat, a small sacrifice must be made. A drop of your blood spilled in their eye.

No, you idiot, all you have to do is touch the soon to be deado, and mission accomplished.

Now sometimes you will get more than one person, so you will have to tie several knots at once. When this scenario happens, it's always a good idea to arrive at the intended destination early, to make sure you have enough time to locate and process your clients, before your Shadowy Boss in black robes French kisses them into oblivion.

So after you've made sure you've put a leash on all your clients, get out of the way. Depending on which division you get, the actual deaths of your clients will either be messy, complicated, violent or surprisingly peaceful, if you're lucky enough to score the last kind.

Bottom line, you do not want to be involved in them, in any way. Your best bet is to leave the scene as soon as you've finished your job. Lingering is dangerous and could potentially reveal your true identity. Especially if there are guns, sharp objects or explosions involved. Not because of the damage you might suffer. but because it will be hard for you to explain why you're still walking around with half your head blown off.

So bottom line, don't get involved.

Now, for the grand finale: dealing with your reap.

Fact: people suck.

Dead people? Yeah, they suck even more.

Once they get to you, well, that's when the real nightmare will begin. Most will wail. A lot of them will complain. A good number will cry and scream like little babies, saying how it isn't fair. And all of them will bargain. Getting past that will be difficult, and convincing them to move on will be even harder. But you have to do it. Seriously, you do.

Because I repeat. You do not want a dead person to get tethered to the world of the living. Why? We'll cover that in the 'things never to do unless you want to get tortured by Kevin for the rest of eternity' chapter.

I wish I could give you instructions on how to get your people to move on, but I can't. It isn't something you can exactly teach. It varies from person to person, and everyone has a different approach. You can be kind, rude, scary, it doesn't matter, as long as you send them to the afterlife.

But before you get them to the gate of Saint Peter, you will have to take care of a few small things first. Remember those empty little slots in your Ledger? Well, they aren't for show.

Once your dead person is dead, you will have to find out how they died. Were they shot, stabbed, electrocuted by their toaster, etc. Then, you'll need their cause of death which will require you to get a coroner's report. Lucky for you, the guys at the morgue know about us and are more than happy to help with the more medical stuff. Lastly, you'll need their serial number.

You know how every product gets a serial number when it's pushed out into the market? Well, this is basically the exact same thing. Except these serial numbers apply to human souls.

Yes, we all have them. We'd be screwed if we didn't. Each serial number is like a ticket to a once-in-a-never concert. You can only afford one, and only one. And once you've used it, that's it. No reruns or second chances.

This is why it's important to write these babies down. They catalog who's used their ticket at life, and ensure that that person doesn't come back. And of course, make sure you be precise when writing them down.

Remember, one chance, no more.

You screw it up, and instead of a new soul being born into a new body, you'll get little Timmy telling his mommy how he's his own dead grandfather. And as I'm sure you've known from the numerous specials done on reincarnation, that situation isn't pretty. It gets even worse when the reincarnated person is about to die. Again.

But I won't go into that. It is covered in extensive, gory detail in that lovely 'things never to do unless you want to be tortured by Kevin for the rest of eternity' chapter. Check it out. I dare you.

So now that we've covered the details, we get to the whys', hows', and whos' of the story.

Why do we need to write these things down? Since technically speaking, out of all these things, only a serial number is essential?

I don't know.

And you don't need to know either. Maybe God likes being precise. Or it's just that infamous 'works in mysterious ways' thing. Point is, it's irrelevant; but necessary. Like flu shots.

Who makes the names pop in the book?

Cthulhu? Ra? Take your pick. But once again, this question is totally irrelevant to the story. The names appear in there, and you have to reap them. And no, the Ledger is never, never, wrong.

Repeat after me.

The Ledger is never wrong.

In fact, tattoo that on your damn forehead.

So don't get cute, thinking that just because a book told you some dude is going to die, that it doesn't mean it's going to happen. It will. It always does. Make sure you remember that before you try and boycott doing your job.

How do people get chosen? Fate? Bad luck? A set of ratios and patterns that connect us all and are too complex for our puny minds to understand?

The third one is most likely. That or it's all just a stupid lottery. Again, it's irrelevant, and not important for your job. It happens. It has to happen.

So don't go all superhero and try to save these people. They were marked. Means they're toast, whether you like it or not. Saving them is a waste of time. And a horrible mistake which will piss me off and earn you a week of rack torture as a result.

So to summarize, the Ledger is never, EVER, wrong. It is your most vital tool and greatest asset. A new part of your mind, body, and soul, the source of your mystical powers.

So don't lose it.

I repeat.

Don't. Fucking. Lose. It.

Believe me, as a dead person it's quite literally the ONLY thing you still have to be afraid of (besides me of course).

Oh and if you've walked off somewhere, and left your Ledger behind, please read this carefully.

FUCKING GO BACK RIGHT NOW, AND GET IT YOU STUPID IDIOT, BEFORE I FIND YOU, STRIP YOU NAKED, SLATHER HONEY ALL OVER YOUR BODY AND LEAVE YOU OUT IN THE SWAMP FOR THE BUGS TO SLOWLY DEVOUR YOUR FLESH!!!!!!!

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Hiya guys, what's up? Enjoying yourselves? These little Kevin intermissions are our way of giving you exposition and explaining the rules of this world, without having to waste time doing it in the main story. Let us know in the comments if you like them and if you think they are a good idea to give background info, or if you would prefer it if we scrap them, and explain things within Violet's narrative. Thanks 💜

With love, Thea and Ivy :)