"We can't just sit here doing nothing!", Ryan yelled at me.

"No! You'll go into that forest over my dead body!", I yelled back.

"I mean...That's Why we're going there honestly", he chuckled, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Please try to understand me!", I said, "I care about you a lot, and I don't know what would happen if you would die..."

"You really care about me, don't you?", he sighed.

"Uhm... yeah, I mean we're best friends right?", I said scratching my neck, feeling my cheeks heat up. Why am I even nervous?

"Yeah, but nobody really cared that much about me than you do", he said.

"What about your parents?"

"They're nearly everytime gone. Business trips. At work. I barely see them honestly, so yeah, you care the most about me."

"Oh, I'm sorry", I answered.

"It's alright, bren", he said, "I'm used to it."

"And what about friends?", I asked.

"I'm pretty good friends with Spencer but that's it. We aren't that close, but he's nice."

"Well, you have me now", I said smiling at him.

"Yeah, that's true", he said back. Something in his eyes lit up when he met mine and I swear I saw his cheeks slightly blush. Or maybe this was just imagination? I don't know, but it kinda made my chest feel full and warm. Like it was right. Why do I feel nervous now? He just blushed, nothing to be nervous about. Calm down, Brendon, calm down.

"You alright?", Ryan asked.

"Yeah, uhm, yeah, everything's alright", I rambled, trying to act normal.

"Really? You kinda smiled like an idiot at my wall", Ryan chuckled.

"Oh, uhm."

"Thinking about someone?", he asked smirking.

"No! No... No, no", I rambled, scratching the back of my neck.

"You did!", he said, "Come on, tell me, who is she?"

She. Who is she. Well, that's gonna be interesting to tell....
Should I lie, or should I tell the truth?
The problem is I'm not even sure what this feeling is.

The only thing I defniatly know is that I don't have a crush on Ryan.

That would be ridiculous. We're friends!

"I saw her yesterday walking down the street", I lied, fake smiling.

"Do you know her?", he asked.

"No, I don't", I mumbled.

"How does she look like?"

"She has.... brown hair and this golden eyes shining like honey, you could get lost in them immediately. But when she smiles... It's the most beautiful thing in the world, she's prettier than everything I ever saw. I never felt something like this before and I'm unsure of what to do. She won't return the feelings and what am I even going to say? She can't see me. I think I have to be satisfied with the fact that I can be in her presence", I said sunken in my thoughts. I may had someone else than this girl in my mind, but I think he didn't notice.

"Sounds like a great girl", Ryan said, causing me to look at him. Something in his voice and look were different. Instead of looking at me with his honey brown eyes like he always does, he just kept his eyes on the floor.

"Yes, he is", I mumbled, more to myself.

"What?", Ryan asked, his head lifting up.

"What?"

"You said he."

"What?"

"You said yes, he is."

"Whaaaaat?"

"Brendon, just tell me, I won't judge", he said softly.

Now was my chance. I could tell him that my thoughts were surrounded by him, his smile, his eyes, just him. I could tell him now.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I said 'she is'. I think I should go now. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."

But instead of telling him, I lied. I lied and climbed without another word said out of the window and started walking home.

****

Sorry for the lack of updates, I'm a bit stressed, because of school and stuff:(

Hope you are feeling good today:)

And trench is so fucking good, did you already hear it? If yes, what's your favourite song?

I love neon gravestone, pet cheetah and chlorine so far♡

<3