[Mello x Reader][Edited May 9th 2019]

~

     Rain. It was pouring with rain, and you were slowly sauntering through the icy sheets like it was nothing, although you were chilled to the bone. You wanted to run for cover and curl up with Mello, drinking hot chocolate in your shared apartment. You and Mello had been together for some months now, but he was the reason you were out in the rain in the first place.

      You were following him. He had gotten a text earlier that evening and left, no more than five minutes later, to a location he didn't disclose, simply saying 'I'm going out.' You had tried to reason with him, due to the heavy rain, but he replied with 'rain doesn't bother me'. You knew that was a lie, and it sparked your suspicion even more.

     You see, you had been suspicious of Mello for a few weeks now, he would often just up sticks and disappear for a few hours, but he was always home by 11. That peaked your suspicion. Before his random disappearances, he would come back at all hours of the night, but would always greet you with a smile and warm hug. Now, it was like he was trying too hard not to be suspicious, but you knew him too well for that. Whenever he returned, he was distant and wouldn't get anywhere near you until he had locked himself away in the bathroom for an hour long shower. He showered every morning, so he couldn't be worried about smelling bad...

     Your suspicion rose when a password lock appeared on his phone. You only knew because he asked you to check a text, but you obviously couldn't get in. You didn't say a word about it. After checking the text, his eyes grew wide and he left the house again with a bleak 'I'm going out.' That's when his disappearances began to become a regular occurrence. You had vowed to follow him and find out what he was up to the next time he got a text, which was tonight.

     And that brings us up to the here and now. The streets were busy but you could easily see Mello's fluffy Hood above the surprisingly large crowd and kept a close eye on him. He would turn around every now and then, his eyes scanning frantically across the crowd behind him. You tensed every time, praying he wouldn't spot you, which he never did. Of course he wouldn't. He was so used to you wearing bright neon colours and your striking red rain coat, there's no way he would suspect you to be dressed in grays and blacks like the rest of the crowd, let alone be following him. Yet he still seemed to be on edge. Was he expecting danger?

     The crowd moved steadily but you soon saw him stop outside a well known club. You continued to walk with the crowd but pulled your hood up over your H/C hair and kept your E/C eyes on the floor. As you walked past him, his eyes fixed on you and watched you trudge past, but didn't recognise you, luckily. Next to the club is a small coffee shop, you stood under the little veranda and pulled out your phone and pretended to be texting, watching from the corner of your eye as he eyes a few other people he deemed to be suspicious before entering the club. You slipped your phone away and went in also.

     You pulled your hood down and unzipped your coat. The rest of your clothes were dark too, to help you blend in. The place was packed to the brim and smelt of smoke and alcohol. You sighed helplessly, having lost sight of Mello. That's when a familiar gamer came weaving through the crowd with a lit cigarette and glass of alcohol. He threw the cigarette onto the floor and stamped it out, you shook your head disapprovingly

    "(Y/N)? What are you doing here?" You looked at him doubtfully, wondering in what state of mind Matt could be in. You looked from the glass to him. "This is my first one, I swear." That seemed true, you could still smell his strong lemon cologne over the sweat and alcohol.

     "Was it you who text Mello to come here?"

     "Mello's here? No, not me. Hey, where is he?" Matt looked around over everyone's heads, but turned back to you with a shrug.

      "I don't know..." You sigh, rubbing a hand over your forehead, feeling to perspiration beginning to form on your head from the stuffy heat. You didn't know how matt hadn't passed out from heat at this point, in that great fur-lined jacket.

     "How do you know he's here?" He gave you an 'are you messing with me?' Look.

      "I followed him." You shuffle nervously.

     "Over attached much." He chuckles, but you know its harmless and take no offence. He takes a long sip from this alcoholic drink.

      "He's cheating, I just know it." You say looking around frantically. You hear a sounds that's like a cross between snorting, choking and gagging. You turn back to Matt who was having a hard time swallowing his drink.

      "What?!" He exclaims. You were going to elaborate until you saw a flash of bright blonde in the crowd. It was unmistakably Mello, you recognised him in an instant. You watched attentively and Matt soon followed your gaze, watching Mello too. "Oh shit..." He cursed under his breath. You wondered what he was cursing about, until he crossed the dance-floor. Or rather, they crossed the dance floor. Mello had a small, curvy brunette hanging on his elbow.

     You marched a few steps forward, fully intending to confront him here and now, but Matt caught your elbow.

    "(Y/N), wait." You turned to him. "Just wait a little bit okay, I'll get you a drink."

     "Matt-" you tried to protest

    "Just hear me out (Y/N). We'll sit down and I can tell you what I think, and you can explain what's been going on, okay?" Well.. It sounds reasonable...

     "Fine, I'll have a (favourite drink)."

     "Coming right up!" Matt grinned. Through your lousy mood, you could always force a grin back. Matt's had your back for as long as you could remember. Although he was supposed to be Mello's best friend, he seemed to favour you over him any day, though that's never been tested in a situation as serious as this. Matt came back with a (Favourite drink) and you both sat at a table, facing each other away from the largest proportion of the crowd. From your seat you could see down a corridor with doors on either side. You watched Mello lead the brunette into the third room on the left. Matt turns and looks over his shoulder just in time to see them go in. He turns back to you. You take a big gulp of your drink before setting it on the table but keeping your hand on it.

     "So, Matt, why is it you want to delay this even further and why you want to know all about this. It's not like you to be a gossip." You raise an eyebrow, but your eyes keep wandering to the door Mello and the brunette are behind. It's becoming increasingly harder not to burst in there right now.

     "Well, if Mello really is cheating, going straight over wouldn't prove anything, he could just be with a friend or relative, if he even has any... But what I'm saying is, to find out if he is, you need to catch him in the act to be sure." It clicks in your brain, now.

     "Ahhh..." You can't help but smirk at Matt's plan. "So we're basically just killing time until they do the do." You raise an eyebrow.

     "Exactly." His smirk matches your own.

     "You're not as dumb as you look, Jeevas." You grin.

     "Hey!" He fakes hurt. "But tell me, how did you manage to unearth this injustice?" What you're talking about is no laughing matter, especially when your boyfriend is most likely cheating, just a hundred or so feet away, but in the dramatic tone and context, you can't help but think this is all laughable. Maybe this shaky, hysterical amusement is some kind of defence mechanism. 

     "Well..." You explain in great detail exactly how you came to this conclusion. The disappearances, phone lock, the time changes.

     "But I don't understand the significance of the showering?" Matt didn't seem to get that...

     "He won't come near me whenever he comes home from one of these disappearances. He always goes straight to the shower."

     "I still don't get it." He says blankly.

     "Take a good smell, Matt." He looks at you confusedly before doing so.

     "This place smells of booze and cheep hookers?" He quirks an eyebrow.

    "Exactly."

     "Ohh... The smell of this place... It's a dead giveaway!" Matt says snapping his fingers and pointing to you with a knowing look.

    "Perfect. A+, Jeevas." You say, downing the last of your drink and slamming the glass on the table. It had no effect on you, you were still fully aware. Matt did the same. You pushed up. Matt did to. "There's no need for you to come and see this too Matt, Mello is your best friend, this isn't the best thing you could see."

     "I'm coming too!" He gave you a determined look. You stared at him for a long moment.

     "Okay." You said simply. A small reassuring smile was sent your way. You weave your way to the corridor, moving three doors down on the left hand side. You and Matt stand looking at it in silence. You reach for the door handle but a loud, female moan and an oh, so familiar male grunt. You jerk your hand away from the door. Matt's hand lands on your shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. You look to him.

     "I'm right here, (Y/N). It's fine, take your time." Matt says quietly. You take the door handle and silently slide the door wide open. Neither you nor Matt go in. You just stand and look. You were right. You had been doubting it, but no, you were right. Of course you were, was there really any other explanation for this scenario? No. You knew all along, you just didn't want to believe it.

- Explicit scene ahead -

     The same Brunette was on the bed on all fours, with her behind in the air, completely nude. Also completely nude was Mello, stood at the edge of the bed behind her, his hip thrust propelling himself into her at a wild pace. Her mouth was agape and she was practically screaming out. Mello's hands were anchoring her hips and his face was contorted in a pleasured expression and he was grunting loudly with each thrust of his hips.

     You slowly tore away your eyes and focused them on Matt, trying to gauge his reaction. His face was pulled back into a disapproving sneer. He had of course believed Mello could cheat, but never dreamed he would. His eyes were dully staring at the two. Both of which had failed to notice either you, Matt or the wide open door. Your eyes train back on the two, this doesn't seem real. It shouldn't be possible. You're numb. So, so numb.

     Until his hand slams down and collides with her behind making her let out a pleasured scream of sorts. That, and the animalistic look on his face as he did so, kicked you out of your dazed state. It felt like a bowling ball had been dropped in your stomach and it made you let you a low gasp.

~ END OF EXPLICIT ~

     You had been so wrapped up in proving he was staying away that you hadn't considered the aftermath and how you'd feel. You knew he had been cheating, but you were in no way prepared for this. Prepared for the thought? Yes. Prepared for the reality? No. Not at all.

    You were surprised they even heard your gasp over their own noises, but they did. Well, she did.

     "M-Mello!" She cried in distress, making direct eye contact with you, although your eyes were so cloudy, you couldn't tell where she ended and he started.

     "That's my name." He groaned out with a smirk. That hurt you somewhere deep inside. He was too caught up to even notice that he's been caught out. She whined out something that should have sounded like his name, raising and arm and shakily pointing it to you, while he's still ramming into her. His head snaps in your direction, his eyes are already wide, but they get even wider at the sight of you and Matt in the doorway.

     "A-ahh! (Y-Y/N)!" Mello exclaims, jumping away from the brunette and shoving her further onto the bed.

     "Y-YOU KNOW HER?!" the brunette cries out, pulling herself into a sitting position.

     "THAT'S MY DAMN GIRLFRIEND!" He growls at her, turning away from you and yanking on his boxers after snatching them from the pile of clothes on the floor.

     "O-oh my g-god!" The girl immediately bursts into tears, clamping her hands over her face and trying desperately to find her clothes. Once his boxers are on, Mello makes his way towards you.

    "(Y-Y/N), j-just hear me out-" he tries, stumbling as he's trying to pull his pants back on as he moves towards you. You look fearfully at Matt and grab ahold of his sleeve to catch his attention. He's fixated on Mello.

     "Matt, I don't wanna be here-"

    "It's okay (Y/N), you can stay with me for a while. Go wait for me outside, I'll be there in a second, we'll walk back and get some clothes and things from yours then I'll take you back to mine, sound good?" Matt pulls you behind him and turns to you, blocking you from them, talking in a soft tone, as if your boyfriend - ex boyfriend hadn't just been caught cheating on you and was trying to get to you.

     "Thank you." A tear strolls down your face. You pull your coat tightly around you before weaving back through the club and out into the windy street. It whips at you (Hair colour) hair.

     "(Y-Y/N)?" A quiet voice calls your name. By this time the tears are flooding down your face. You turn and see the brunette, fully dressed. You look back away in disgust.

     "(Y-Y/N), I swear, I didn't know he had a girlfriend! H-he told me he was s-single!" She started to cry.

     "What?!" You spin back to face her.

     "I-I wouldn't have.... Y-you know... If I-I knew he had a g-girlfriend." You look at her sympathetically. Matt comes out of the club while zipping up his jacket. His eyes land on you and narrow on the girl. When he speaks, his voice is soft and comforting, probably the tears still leaking from your eyes like a broken tap.

    "C'mon (Y/N), let's go."

-

     It had been roughly a month since Mello cheated on you. Matt had helped you set up your own apartment, under the condition that he could stay any time he wanted. You hadn't seen hide nor hair of Mello. You hadn't expected to. The first week you were a mess, hardly moving from your spot on Matt's couch, not eating a thing. You spent your time wallowing in self pity and blaming yourself for what happened. At week two, you had managed to build the resolve to partake in life again, although you would still randomly cry whenever you thought of or were reminded of Mello. By week three, you were back with a vengeance and out to prove you were fine, although you weren't. By the beginning of the fourth week, the cracks were showing and it was clear to see, even after all this time and what Mello did to you, you missed him and you missed him dearly.

     It was pouring with rain and it was dark out, around 8 PM. Matt had left about 10 minutes ago to his own home. It was times like this when you felt more alone than ever. More betrayed than ever. Mello was the one who left you like this, but no matter how much you longed to be held again, you couldn't imagine being in anyone else arms. Mello's embrace was where you called home. Whether that home was broken or not.

     You slipped on your black coat. You didn't feel the need for bright colours or a bright personality. Your bright personality was one thing Mello always loved about you. You pulled on some boots, pulled up your hood and stepped out into the rain. Evenings like tonight were always spent with you and Mello cuddled up with a hot chocolate. Things at every corner would remind you of him, tonight was the worst since the incident. You hadn't seen or heard from him since that night, he just seemed to have disappeared.

     You stepped outside into the cool night air and the water ran down your coat. It was surprisingly empty. You made a point to slosh through the deepest puddles and when your hood fell down, you didn't bother putting it back up. You weren't sure where exactly you were going, you just walked in the rain, getting drenched.

     You had gone much further than you realised, but you knew exactly how to get home and where you were. You were outside yours and Mello's old house. You weren't sure if he still lived here or not. You decided to move on, figuratively and literally. You turned to carry on walking past, but a slumped figure in the alleyway next to the house made you stop short.

     Against the wall of the next building over, slumped under a streetlight was a male with familiar blonde hair, dressed in complete leather and feather hooded jacket. You knew all too well who that was, you knew you could've just left, you knew you should've just left. Save your poor heart some trouble. But despite the hurt, despite what he did, you still cared more than you probably should've. The fact that you still loved Mello was what hurt the most.

     You went straight over to him, careful not to splash him with the puddles, he already seemed in a pretty bad way. You crouched to his eye level, but his head was bent forward.

     "Mello? Mello, buddy? Are you with me?" You asked softly, but with urgency, like an emergency doctor talking to a small child. You placed your hand on his shoulder and slowly his head cranked up. His blue eyes met your own. They were a dull, pale blue with next to no life. He blinked drowsily.

    "(Y/N)? Is that really you? Or am I dreaming again?" He blinked tiredly and leaned his head back on the wall with a groan, using his arm to cover his eyes.

     "This is real, and you're really hurt..." You trail away, seeing the big bruise around one eye, poking out from under his arm, the blood running from his nose and corners of his mouth, the nasty bleeding scrapes on the palms of his hands, and he undoubtedly has bruises all over.

    "(Y/N) I-" he pulls his arm away and tries to begin. You silence him with a finger on his lips. He falls into a stunned silence, looking up at you with glassy eyes and mouth agape, like he had never looked upon you before.

     "Stop. Not now. C'mon, get up."

     "Huh?"

     "Get up. I'm taking you to my place." You help pull him to his feet and he gets up with a loud groan. You sling one of his arms over your shoulders and wrap one of yours around his waist, taking some of his weight. He is rigidly tense for a few moments before letting out a long sigh and resting his head on top of yours, you then lead him to your house.

     You shoulder the door open and bring him straight into the living room. You plop him on the couch and run to close the door, kicking your shoes off on the mat. You strip off your coat and run straight back to Mello, almost slipping on the water sodden floor. His eyes are closed and he is breathing heavily, which concerns you. You unzip his jacket and manage to pull him out of it, flinging it into the floor behind you. You unzip his leather vest and his eyes shoot open, his hands grab yours in an urgent fashion.

     "Calm down, I need to see if you have any more bruises." His hands fall from yours but his eyes stay wide open, head resting against the back of the couch. You pull it off to see bruises across his front but thankfully none across his back, so you slip it back on him, but leave it open. You hurry and fetch some bruise ointment, bandages, antiseptic wipes and some ice in a tea towel.

     "Here, hold this on your eye." You command. He does so, but doesn't say a word. After checking the blood on his face, you work out he's mostly fine. You use the wipes to clean his hands and bandage them, before putting the ointment on his bruises to hopefully ease the pain. While applying the bruises, you can feel his ribs and bones. You could also feel his rapid heartbeat hammering against his chest. You slowly zip the leather vest back up as you're processing the thoughts in your head. It's clear Mello hadn't been eating, or how else would he have gotten so skinny? A lump formed in your throat when you thought it might be because of you.

      Since you're still crouched, you slowly pull his boots off. There's no way you're going to let him leave tonight. After all, you still love him, but whether it was the same on his part, that seemed debatable. You put his boots at the front door and collected a mop, drying and cleaning down the wet floor in the hall and living room. Mello watched your every move expressionlessly. He was mostly dry by now, but his hair was wet. You went and made a hot chocolate, since you knew it was his favourite, and grabbed a soft fluffy towel.

     When you went back in, he was sat forward, his elbows on his knees, arms dangling limply, head hung low. You slung the towel over your shoulder and used the now free hand to tilt his head upwards. He looked at you again with that look, like he was looking up at a beautiful goddess, to grace this world. But it was just plain old you, as you would put it. You handed him the hot chocolate.

     "Drink this." You smiled kindly. To you, Mello was something precious. Even if the time you spent together could have been fake, he made you happy beyond compare, and just getting to see all of his little traits and quirks made you so delusionally blissful. He always seemed so happy with you. Despite what he did, those times meant more to you than his mistakes, and even if it was hard to admit to yourself, through all the hurt and wanting to hate him, you couldn't. That time together showed you how precious he was, and in your eyes, you were just you, you couldn't blame him for what he did, you just weren't enough for him and you knew it. You knew it now, you could never be enough for him, but he was like a precious gem, and you were selfish and didn't want to let go. You blinked back into reality and Mello had finished the hot chocolate and was looking up at you with big eyes, still.

     You stood in front of him and put the towel behind his head and began to dry his hair, tenderly. You could see his eyes well up with tears and his bottom lip tremble slightly. It was never like Mello to cry. You frown sightly.

     With a slight thump, he drops from the couch onto his knees in front of you and wraps his arms around your torso, burying his head in your mid section. You drop the towel from shock when you feel the tiny wet streams of his tears on your skin. He sobs uncontrollably against you, suddenly pulling his head away and looking up at you, he's crying like he's a leaky faucet.

     "(Y-Y/N)!! I am so s-sorry! I s-swear! I-I am s-such a horrible human a-and I hate myself for d-doing that t-to you. I-I know it d-doesnt seem l-like it, B-b-but, I s-swear, i-i love y-you s-so damn m-much! I-its been h-hell without y-y-you!" He wails in desperation. He can barely get his words out between the sobs. "I-I know I d-dont d-deserve a second chance but I-i would do a-anything!" He flinches at your touch, when you stroke his hair comfortingly, but when he realises you're being affectionate towards you, he leans into your hand, repeatedly murmuring 'I love you's.'

    You pull him to his feet. His arms go under yours and pull you against him, he presses his head into your shoulder. You softly hug back.

     "I love you too, Mello." He let's out another strangled sob. He pulls back and before you know, his lips are against yours in a delicate kiss, as if he's afraid to break you again. His lips move softly with your own. With the kiss, you can only hope he knows how much you've missed him and how much you will always care for him. You feel that he knows, and means the same thing. You pull back.

     "You haven't been eating, have you, Mello?" Your hands rest against his ribs, you can feel poking out alarmingly. He shakes his head 'no' in an ashamed fashion. "Why?" Now it sounds like you're going to cry.

     "I had to pay for my mistakes." He whispers before pressing his lips back on yours.

     "Let's get you something to eat." You whisper.

      "Wait, first, I want to show you how much you really mean to me.~" he murmurs against your lips, pressing them back together. You don't know what he means until your legs are swept out from under you and he carries you towards the bedroom.

     "Mello." You make him pause.

     "I mean... I don't want to force you into anything... I just..." He trails away, setting you back on your feet.

     "Mello, I love you." You say, going toward the bedroom.

........................................................................................................................................