(A/N): I don't mean to offend anyone with anxiety and depression in this oneshot btw! Also, this oneshot contains self harm, so if you're sensitive to that or anything, feel free to skip this.
(Don't self harm!)

You had quite bad anxiety, which had caused you to get pretty depressed over the year. You hadn't told anyone since you hadn't really been at work that much either. You told L you would work at home. But you found it difficult not to worry about every scenario and over think every possible situation, even if there was no point thinking about it in the first place!
This caused you to not get a lot of sleep either and you hadn't eaten anything in a while. Honestly, you're whole world was practically falling apart.

You were sitting in the middle of your bed, staring at the wall. You wanted to do something, but at the same time you felt like doing nothing the whole day.
You slowly turn to your phone and pick it up, deciding to text your friend.

It was then you realise that your friend hadn't messaged you in 2 days.

"They're probably just really busy or on holiday or something", you say to yourself.

'But what if they aren't? What if they're just ignoring me? What if they find me annoying by constantly texting them all the time? What if they've found new friends and left me behind like all those other fake friends of mine?!'

The thoughts swam through your head constantly.

You put your hands to your head to try and get the thoughts out. You loved your friend and you were sure they loved you back! You didn't want to think these things, but you just couldn't help it.

You start screaming. You just wanted all this pain and suffering to go away!
Tears start streaming down your face as you curl up into a ball on your bed.

"I can't live like this anymore! What do I do?! What do I do?!"

-Meanwhile at the taskforce-

"Hey Ryuzaki?" Misa asked.

"What is it?"

"Do you ever wonder why (Y/N) decided to work at home? She's never visited the taskforce since and it's been going on for a year! Don't you think something's wrong with her?"

"(Y/N) hasn't said anything to me. Perhaps she's just finding it difficult to communicate or deal with the work here. Perhaps she can concentrate better on her own. I don't know", L says, sipping on his coffee.

"You haven't tried to call her or anything to check if she's okay?" Misa shot her attention straight to L.

"Well yes, but she hasn't answered any of them. It's only when she decides to call me".

"WHAT?! SO YOU HAVEN'T EVEN WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE TO CHECK IF SHE'S OKAY?!" Misa slammed her hands on the table in front of her.

"(Y/N) is a grown woman. She can take care of herself. And if anything is happening, I'm sure she'll call me".

Misa gave L a disgusted look before sighing.

"Well, part of me agrees with what you're saying, but the other part of me just has a bad feeling that something awful has happened to (Y/N). It's been going on for ages and I'm just worried about her", she said.

"I understand. I won't lie, I have been feeling a little uneasy about (Y/N) too", L says. "But I don't want to invade (Y/N)'s privacy. And going over there will look weird and will probably scare her".

Misa stood up and grabbed L's arm.

"We're going to see (Y/N), whether you like it or not!"

-Meanwhile with (Y/N)-

You were sitting in the middle of your bathroom floor, tears streaming down your face and your left arm was covered in cuts.

"This is the only way..." you whisper to your reflection in the mirror.

"You're so disgusting and selfish", you whisper back to yourself, as if your reflection was talking to you.

"I know...but what else is there to do...?"

Your breathing became sharper, quicker and heavier as you moved to your other arm and began your work at cutting your beautiful skin.

As you were busy doing that, you suddenly hear the doorbell ring, causing you to jump and freak out. No one could see you like this!

"(Y/N)! You in there? Open up! It's me!"

It was Misa banging on the door.

"We just came to check if you're okay".

L here's too?

"Open up (Y/N)!"

You tried to shout to them, but your voice was so shaky, you couldn't get any words out.

"Alright! We're coming in!" Misa shouts.

You hear your front door open and footsteps walk in.

"That's odd. Her front door is still open. She can't be outside if that's the case", Misa says.

"She's probably taking a shower or something", L says.

"That's the first thing that comes to your mind? Are you getting dirty thoughts L?" Misa glances over to him and gives him a smirk.

"What?! NO! It was just an idea!" L says back.

"Well, we could check", Misa heads over to your bathroom. L follows behind.

'Shit! They're coming! Gotta hide my arms and clean up the blood!'

You got up and started rushing around. You hid the knife in a small cupboard and got straight to work, wiping up the blood that had spilled from your arms.

"Hey (Y/N)! You in there!" Misa was banging on the door again.

"Misa, calm down. (Y/N) probably thinks we're invading her privacy.
Maybe we should leave her".

"I-It's okay...!" You manage to say.

"Good, cause I'm coming in!" Misa called.

"Misa, no!" L called out.

'Shit! Not now! I'm not ready!'

Too late. Misa burst through the door, L trying to stop her.

Both of them froze when they saw you tending to your cuts.

"(Y/N)..." Misa covered her mouth and took a step back.

"I-I..."

L didn't say anything. He was so in shock.

"I'm sorry..." you whisper.

L came over to you. You tried to step back in case he was going to hit you, but instead he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug, being careful not to hurt your cuts. You began to sob into his shirt as he gently stroked your hair.

"Why...? Why would you so this...?" He asked.

"I can't live like this anymore..." You say. "I don't have anyone to rely on, so..."

"Is this why you've stayed at home for the whole year?" Misa asked.

You nod slowly.

"How long have you been cutting?!" Misa asked.

"I've only cut my arms! I-I promise!" You say, your voice breaking.

"I should have known something was wrong. I should have came to you sooner (Y/N). I'm sorry. I should have been there to help you. Instead, it was like I didn't even care. I thought you were okay. I'm sorry", L says as he hugs you slightly tighter.

"Misa, go back to HQ but don't tell anyone about any of this. I'll take care of (Y/N)", L says to the blonde girl.

"S-Sure. (Y/N), if you need anything, please call me! I'll always be there to help you!" Misa said, leaving.

"Thank you Misa..."

"Now, let's see to these cuts", L says, quickly grabbing a wet cloth and beginning to clean your cuts, but also being careful not to hurt you.

"Ow..."

"Sorry...I have to do this or they'll get infected (Y/N)".

Once he finished cleaning your cuts, L told you to put on some clean clothes.
He left you to put your clothes on, but came in as soon as you finished.

"So why don't you think you have anyone to rely on?" L asked.

"I feel like nobody likes me! My friend hasn't messaged me and I feel like she doesn't like me anymore. I've wanted to talk to you and Misa and all that, but I feel like I'll annoy everyone. I've just been so stressed and I don't want to waste anyone's time! I over think everything and it really scares me! I'm scared and I'm lonely! I just can't live with all this pain and suffering!" You shout, sobbing.

"(Y/N)..." L just hugged you tightly.

"Please don't ever think anything like that! People do care about you and want to help you (Y/N)! Don't ever think that you're alone! You have to tell people about your problems, or it'll just get worse. Believe me (Y/N), I want to help you! I care deeply about you and the last thing I want is for you to suffer alone. Please don't ever scare me like that again", L says calmly, stroking your hair to calm you down.

You look up to him slowly.

"And I mean that! Don't think I'd lie to you (Y/N)!"

"I-I..."

"I really do care about you (Y/N), and...I love you".

Your eyes widened at those words.
L loves you? No one had ever said that to you.

"You mean it...?" You whisper.

"Of course I do. 100%", L says.
He soon locks his lips with yours. It was surprising, but you didn't fight it at all.

"Stay alive. For me?" L whispered as he put a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You nod slowly as L brings you back into a hug.

At least you now know there was someone out there to help you.

(A/N): Okay, so I'd just like to say before I end this one is that I don't know much about anxiety. Yes, I'll admit I can relate to short term anxiety when people feel anxious or stressed, over think a lot of things, stuff like that. But I don't know much about long term anxiety where it completely takes over and causes things like insomnia and stuff like that.
So I don't really know if any of these words that I'm saying will be very helpful to any of you that suffer from anxiety, but I just want to say that I'm sure things will get better and there are people out there that will be there to help you!

L gif time!

When you finish roasting the shit out of someone and they mumble something under their breath XD

❤❤