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***

This place was a hell.

It had to be.

I stared down into the pool at the center of the Cruscellio's courtyard, replaying the nightmare over and over again.

No, last night hadn't just been a nightmare. Nightmares you could shake off and move on with your day. Nightmares were just an invention of your imagination. Nightmares weren't exactly real.

This had been real. This was his life. Real memories, real misfortunes, heartbreaks, trauma gripping his tainted soul. They'd bled into over each other last night, layered and wove together in tormenting chaos.

The Three Crawlers had warned me. They'd said I'd beckon creatures out of the dark whenever I fell asleep in the Unknown. Sleeping left me vulnerable to the Forsaken and other creatures that plagued this realm, and not all of them would be as helpful or understanding as the Three had turned out to be.

From what I understood from the First's riddle, sleep would be a powerful tool for me. In sleep, I could better cross the bridge between Death and I, where I would potentially be able to better communicate with him, or at least figure more clues as to why I was seeing these memories.

Through the chaos, I'd felt guided throughout that entire nightmare. I thought about the Book of the Dead, how I'd uncovered it in Phoebe's room of magic. Death's mother had some of the first pages of this deadly tome––she might have even written them herself–– which felt like an important discovery.

I'd also encountered a new version of Death. I pictured his Victorian styled clothes the crown on his head made of bones. I imagined his fangs flashing at me across the hallway like blades, and now he'd looked so cruel, as if he were punishing me, right before the flames consumed the hallway.

Burn it all, Faith, he'd said. It was the first time Death seemed to recognize me in the memories. And I almost wished he hadn't. Not through that version of him.

And from what I'd witnessed last night, I'd gotten closer to Death's dying conscious than ever before. I couldn't help but think there was a reason for that, too. Like there was some connection between me kissing Alexandru and what I'd seen. Was it possible that I'd awakened Death in some way?

But of course, there was a catch to all that I'd learned.

One wrong move, one wrong word, awake, or asleep, and everything could crumble.

I had to be careful. I couldn't just outright tell Death he was unconscious again because he'd surely turn to ash again.

I still had to be just as vigilant during the day. There had to be a deeper purpose as to why Death was reliving these memories.

Maybe once I found the purpose to all pf this, I'd be able to find the location of his corpse.

All I knew was, last night had given me as much hope as it did fear. I'd seen my Death. Even if he looked dead, empty, and terrifying, feeling like we were tethered together in this some way through this screwed up mess made me feel a little less crazy. He was out there somewhere, and maybe, just maybe, he was closer than I thought.

"One of the maids said you woke up screaming."

Not much could startle me today, not even Alexandru's quiet steps into the courtyard. He hadn't been around when I'd woken up, but one of the maids had said he'd woken up early to tend to the animals. It was weird to think about how the maids could have full conversations and the memory could continue on without Alexandru actually being nearby. The only way it made sense was imagining myself tethered to this time and place the way that Death remembered it. If I wasn't so disgusted by this realm, I might have found that cleverly intricate of the Unknown.

"I had a nightmare," I said finally, looking up. Alexandru wore another off-white tunic, though the top portion of it was hanging off his upper body. I imagined the belt around his waist was the only thing keeping those bottoms up.

He rested the towel in his hand on the back of his neck. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked down into the water, imagining the blood pouring off of Alexandru's face, and my stomach knotted. "I... think it's best we don't."

He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "I am in a predicament with you."

You're telling me. "In what way?"

"You say you are looking for someone, but you won't tell me who. And you will not tell me where you live, so I do not know where to take you in the city."

"You know, I probably suffered memory loss," I said, touching the back of my head. "I'm sure it will come back to me at some point."

He looked at me for a long moment, and I could tell he wasn't buying one iota of this again.

"I have to do light training before I head into the city. Do you want to join me?"

My eyes widened a little, imagining Death's brutal training sessions. Do it for Death. Do it for Death. "Sure!" I exclaimed with enthusiasm.

We stared off with short walk through the Cruscellio's gorgeous property and then fell into a light jog, and then a heavier jog––at least for him and his stupid long legs, while I was full-on running. He was right, exercising did help me clear my head, since I was so focused on keeping up with his absurd pace beside me. One wrong move in this realm didn't matter when one wrong move with this run meant face-planting into compacted dirt.

"Ooooh, cramp, cramp," I said, trying so hard not to pant it out like a dog. The morning sun wasn't even beating down on us as hot as it was yesterday yet, and I was pouring sweat.

"Are you well?" Alexandru asked, shrugging off the large bag on his back to grab a container of what I assumed was water.

"Who, me?" I turned away from him and braced my hands on my knees, quietly gulping in air like a fish out of water, before standing up and acting nonchalant. "I'm incredible," I said, visibly struggling not to wheeze it out. "Working out with you before eating might be the move. I don't have even anything in my stomach to vomit!"

He chuckled and passed me the water container. "The way you talk is so strange. What do you mean by 'might be the move?"

Right, 'Alexandru' had no idea his future self-had worked me like a drill sergeant through the most exhausting workouts to ever exist in the universe. "Oh, nothing," I said, taking a gulp of water and passing it back to him. "Oooh, it's starting to get spicy hot out here. Great little workout, by the way. That was fun."

I lifted my fist to bump his, but he stared at my fisted hand in confusion.

"That was just s warmup," Alexandru said.

"Heh?"

***

Light training, my ass.

Alexandru and I hiked for what seemed like another two miles at least. He took me to a clearing at the edge of a forest, were a bunch of different sized rocks. He'd clearly carried them all the way over here to create his own little caveman outdoor gym.

"Don't you have a gym in your house?" I whined, setting down the two stone weights I'd been curling. "With like, better air flow?" What I would give for AC right now. Or even an ice cube.

Alexandru dropped down from the apple tree branch he'd been doing pull ups from and shook out his massive arms. "When the weather is nice, I like to train outside."

I wiped at my forehead with my hand, drinking from another canteen of water he'd brought. I had no idea how he'd carried that massive bag of up here, meanwhile I was struggling with Romeo's magical backpack. And it was weightless.

"You call this nice weather?" I asked in disbelief. "I feel like I'm being cooked alive."

Alexandru just rolled his eyes and bent down to pick up a large rock, throwing it over his shoulder. I watched the powerful muscles in his back and arms work with the movement. He repeated the movement multiple times, before he looked back at me over his shoulder and caught me staring at him.

"Join me," he said, motioning with his head for me to come over. He demonstrated how to do the move and coached me through it with a much smaller rock.

"What do you call this exercise move?" I asked, after we performed a few reps of it and my breath labored. "Big Guy Throws Rock Over Shoulder?"

He grinned, inhaling with a grunt after throwing the stone again. "I do not have a name for it. I just know it works."

I gave him a long, judgmental look. "In love with yourself much?"

He wiped the sweat out of his eyes and raked his fingers through his damp hair, finally showing a little bit of fatigue. "You did not say I was wrong, though."

"Well, you're not wrong," I said, suddenly feeling a nervous under his intense gaze. "Your ego is out of control, though." Nothing has changed.

"There is a fine line between ego and insecurity." He held the weight between both hands and started squatting. I tried to keep up with him and grabbed a little bit of a heavier weight to challenge myself.

"What are you insecure about? You're like..." The sexiest man I've ever met. And you only get hotter. "Very cute," I decided to say, squeaking it out.

Though I don't think he heard me, since he seemed deep in thought. He stood with his hands on his hips, his eyes roaming over the different weights around us. Oh, no. I knew that look. He was scheming with what exercises we would do next.

"Don't you have a big fight today? Don't want to pull a hammy or something."

"What is a hammy?"

"Never mind," I said.

Arching a brow, he jumped up and started performing pull ups on the apple tree branch again. I thought about the time I'd caught Death working out in his warehouse, how he'd had plates strapped to his waist because he was so paranormally strong. The skin on his broad back had been as black as the night sky and those menacing horns had been out. I pictured the frightening yet beautiful sight of him as he'd jumped down and turned toward me, just like Alexandru was right now. With Alexandru's blonde hair and tanned skin, he couldn't look any more polar opposite than the creature he'd become.

"Your turn," Alexandru said, throwing a thumb over his shoulder at the tree, before wiping the sheen off his face with a towel.

"I think I'm going to sit this one out. See, usually, when someone says light workout, it means a little baby workout."

"You complain like a little baby." He'd snickered it out so low under his breath, I almost hadn't heard him.

"I heard that."

He leaned his hand on the apple branch. "Just try one."

I recalled how during my training with Death, I'd sucked so much at pull ups that he'd actually folded on it and made me to do another exercises to strengthen my upper body. It was a rare moment for Death for him to give up me like that during training, and without any insults, so that told me just how pathetic my attempt must have looked.

"I can't do one pull up," I told Alexandru. "Not without an assist."

Alexandru held his hands out palms up, letting me know he was the assist. "You are taking too long."

I brought my head back. "This is so not how I pictured my morning." Marching up to the apple tree, I looked up at the branch a ways above me and wiped my clammy hands on my tunic. "Alright, I'm––oookay." He grabbed my waist and boosted me up all the way to branch so that I hung from it with straight arms.

"Keep your stomach tight and pull your elbows down as you lift," he instructed.

Determined to finally do a pull up, I gripped the bark firmly by twisting my hands and slowly, shakily hoisted myself up. "Oh, my gosh. I'm actually doing it. I'M DOING IT!"

"There is a spider on your arm."

"AHHH, DIE!"

I lost my grip on the branch and plummeted a short distance, my toes hovering just above the ground as I swatted frantically at my arms. Alexandru's hands had snatched me around the waist at the last second, his laughter thunderous in my ears as I went into a complete panic.

"Not funny!" I seethed once he set me down. I checked all over my garments for the insect. "Spiders can be poisonous, especially in this––this stupid, scorching hot place!" Why was it every time I almost accomplished something in this realm it never worked out? I stomped my foot a few times and kicked the dry dirt in the most dramatic melt down ever. "Why is it so freaking hot and buggy!" I picked up an rock and chucked as far as I could. "ARRGH!"

Alexandru braced a hand on the tree trunk, laughing so hard that he bent over at his waist with an arm underneath his stomach.

"There was no spider," he gasped out when he finally caught this breath, wiping at his watering eyes. "I lied... I am so sorry."

I spun on him with my hair sprawled over my face like a creature. "YOU!" I stormed over to him and smacked his arm, making him break down in to uncontrollable laughter all over again. "I'm glad you found this funny. How does it feel to crush someone's hopes and dreams? Hm? I was so happy to do a pull up!"

"Gods, I have never laughed this hard," he said, once he caught his breath. "Ok, I am serious now." He bent his legs a little and motioned for me to get hoisted up again to the branch. "Come on, try again. I want to see you do a pull up."

He hid his amusement well. If looking at me with his lips pinned and his cheeks puffed out slightly to hold back laughter was well.

"You stink," I hissed at him, kicking dirt at his foot.

"I do, a little bit," he agreed. "I did not think you would get so mad."

The truth was, there was a lot more explosive emotions within me that were on the verge of unleashing, and it wasn't because of a stupid pull up.

"It's fine." I sat down on the ground underneath the tree we were next to and drank some water to cool off. "This heat is insane."

"The weather is brutal around this season," he agreed, sitting next to me. "You think this is bad, my father once helped trained soldiers and lead his assemblage on an eighteen-mile march to prepare their endurance. Every soldier would have to keep up with the slowest man. If they took a break for too long, he would add stones to their bags."

"That explains so much about you as a trainer," I muttered bitterly.

"What?"
"Oh, nothing." I pinched my lips together to hold back my own amusement. "So, you're telling me, you work out like this all the time?"

He leaned his sweaty head against the bark of the tree. "There is a facility at my Gladiating school where they give me a workout regime."

"How often do you go there?" I wondered

"Only once or twice a week now. It depends on the season and how often I have a fight. I used to train five or six days when I was younger, and my father had the time to train me. Now I have learned the regime, so I condition at home for four days."

"How young were you when you started training?"

He gave a shrug, taking the canteen from my hand to drink water. "Since I was old enough to hold a buckler."

"And buckler is...is that a belt?"

"No, I will show you," Alexandru said with a chuckle. He stood and dusted his tunic off, before striding to the large bag he'd carried on his way up here. Digging around, he took out a small shield. "This is a buckler. It is a training one. So is this sword." He handed me the wooden sword, which was also heavy in my hand and meant for a man of his size. "Training gear is always heavier than game gear."

I stood up to my feet, holding the shield as though I was in battle. "That way when you're holding a real sword, it's easier to handle," I said, remembering what Death had told me when we would spar.

"Have you sparred before?" He sounded surprised.

"A little, just to defend myself..."

His eyebrows dipped together. "Against?"

"Anything that tries to hurt me," I decided. I handed him back the wooden sword, feeling a little melancholy again. Since Ahrimad has Death's scythe, he'd been battling against his own curse, so we were limited for time.

Alexandru looked a little disappointed in my answer as he collected his training gear and packed up his bag.

"What's with the face?" I asked.

"Your father should have arranged your marriage with a man who can protect you."

"I don't need a man to protect me," I snapped. And I don't need a weapon. I am the weapon. Just haven't had a reason to use it in a while...

"I did not mean to offend you." He bent down to organize his gear in his bag and tie it together with a few straps. "You seem like a strong woman. I just do not like the idea of you getting hurt or being afraid. I want you to be...safe."

"Well, thank you."

He hauled his bag over his shoulder. "How's your head and foot?"

"My head and foot?" I realized what he was implying and grabbed my head with a wince. "Ooh, ouch, ouch. Oh, my skull. The agony. Maybe exercising was a bad idea..."

"Your poor head," Alexandru said, and I didn't miss him rolling his eyes before he turned away from me and started walking. "My personal physician, who I meet with before every fight, might be able to help you find your friend. He is very familiar with conditions such as yours. If you truly have forgotten so many things about yourself..."

"Wait," I said, grabbing the sleeve of his tunic to stop him. "What's your name again?"

He looked at me with brief concern, before playfully slapping my hand away. "Hilarious."

"So you have to take me into the city to meet your friend? Does this I can watch you fight in the arena?"

"Yes, if you want," he said, though he didn't look pleased that I wanted to. "Do you look forward to watching me lose?"

I smirked a little. "Of course, not. I look forward to you doing the total opposite of what your father says."

His laugh was humorless. "Either you are very uniformed with the gladiator life, or you mock me. I am starting to think at this point you are mocking my situation."
"I'm not trying to mock you––"

"Then you feel bad for me? You pity me?"

"I empathize with you."

Alexandru stopped walking and turned to me. "Then you will be shocked when you stand in the crowd and find you are the only one feeling any compassion at all. And what a fool you would be, baring your heart for me in this arena. At least the civilians leave without blood on their hands."

I could tell he was trying to push me away, and I felt like that was the last thing I needed to happen in these memories. "You fight in that arena because you have to."

"How are you so sure of who I am?"

Because I know you. "I'm good at reading people."

His eyes scanned my face, and he looked more confused by me than ever before. "Why did you kiss me?" he suddenly demanded, stepping closer to me. "Do you honestly feel attraction for a glorified slave?"

I felt my face get hot underneath his glare. I didn't know what to say. Not without ruining everything, not without possibly ending this intense memory.

"Because this is what I am," he continued, looming over me. "A glorified slave that swore a shameful oath. If they want me to be beaten, burned, chained up like the animal, or even slain by the blade, then I will be. My situation is much better than others, I am not an ordinary man. But this fight today will be brutal, and I will not walk out of the arena unharmed. I will crawl."

He hoisted his bag further up his shoulder and walked ahead of me in silence the rest of the way.

Alexandru and I separated in his villa. With his instructions to clean up and get dressed in new clothes, I changed into a different but very similar set of clothes he'd left for me inside of my bedroom. The clothing was cotton, but I dreaded wearing all of this clothing in this heat. I made sure to drink water, fill Romeo'sbackpack with some food I found in the kitchen, and use the bathroom, before meetingAlexandru in the barn.

"We do not live too far from the city," Alexandru said, the moment I entered the barn. He now wore an off-white toga instead of his usual tunic, and I could tell he'd washed up because he smelled of oils as he brushed past me to attach his bags to Cruentas' new saddle. "I found a slightly wider saddle that should fit us both. You will have to ride with me again."

I meandered closer to Alexandru, and although he didn't turn around, I could tell he could sense me, by the way his hands slowed what they were doing.

He kept his back to me as he spoke. "I should not have taken out my stress out on you earlier. You have been nothing but kind to me."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked. "The fight, I mean." 

"No." Something he was working on Cruentas' harness snapped off. His fingers tightened into a fist, right before he exploded and threw the broken piece to the ground. Cruentas gave a nervous whine and Alexandru settled his hand on the stallion's neck to calm him.

"I finally believe I have some control over my life and that is exactly when things go horribly wrong," Alexandru said, his voice deepening with frustration. "I am cursed to never be happy."

"Don't say that," I said softly. "You will get back up after today."

He said nothing. I knew in that short silence I was being mistakenly hopeful, when I already knew the outcome of all of this. What I was witnessing was Alexandru's downfall and no matter what I did or said, that was the only way his story played out.

"I didn't want to watch the fight to see you lose," I said, wanting to console him in some way regardless. "I wanted to be there to support you."

He raked his hand through his hair and slowly crossed the distance between us. He stopped directly in front of me, his eyes steadily searching mine in a way that made my pulse pick up. "When people are kind to me, I tend to think they will use me," he admitted.

"You have been used by your father and by the people of Rome," I said, wondering if he could hear how hard my heart was pounding just by him staring at me. "It makes sense why you have trouble trusting others. But you can trust me, Alexandru. I would never use you." Except, well, to save you. The real you. They, uh, future you.

I could see the chaos brewing inside his head, his expression troubled expression softening. His fingers slowly reached out to brush my hand. Just the smallest sensation of his slightly calloused skin touching mine made it instantly difficult to concentrate. His thumb stroked my palm, sliding up to my wrist.

He stepped into me, my breath leaving me in a rush. "You are different than other women, Faith." The way he said my name was almost funny, like he was still unsure of it, but it was also sad at the same time. His mouth hovered at the side of my throat, his lips grazing the sensitive skin as he softly inhaled. There had always been something sensual about Death's fangs hovering by my throat, but this time I knew he couldn't bite.

"Your scent...is so familiar," Alexandru said, his voice deepening.

He pulled back to stare deep into my eyes.

I could feel my heart pounding against his thumb on my wrist.

"Do you believe in ghosts, Faith?" he asked.

I could hardly breathe, let alone answer him.

"Just because you cannot see the dead, does not mean they are gone," he said, and there was an undertone in voice that made me lock up in fear. He stepped out of our embrace and turned toward Cruentas. "These arenas do not have gateways leading the dead to peace. It does not surprise me in such a violent, brutal place. No, the tormented linger there, trapped. Restlessly watching those who continue to laugh at the spectacles."

He put a foot into Cruentas' stirrup and hoisted himself up onto the stallion.

"Sometimes, when the drums are rolling through the arena," he continued, holding my attention, "I imagine the dead are marching underground, preparing for war. I can almost feel them standing behind me in the darkness of the corridors, just before the gates open up to fight. And I wonder, do they wait for me to join them and rot in their forgotten bones? Or do they follow me, because they know I would free them, if I could?" He looked over at me, shaking himself with a mirthless laugh. "You are not the only one who has trouble sleeping. The night buries me in my dreams, too."

***

WELL, WELL.... WE MEET AGAIN.

WHAT DID WE THINK??? WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT????

HAVE WE SCREAMED "CUPCAKE" YET? DO WE EVEN WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER IF WE DON'T???????????

DO MAKE SURE TO VOTE, LEAVE FEEDBACK, AND ADD THIS DELICIOUS TOME TO YOUR LIBRARY. OH, AND FOLLOW ME ON MY SOCIALS. BECAUSE I DO ROCK, BABY.

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