"I'm so sorry" I said for the probably hundredth time.

"Maggie, stop. It's not your fault"

"But if I wouldn't have-"

"You didn't know what would happen" Jane cut me off "he probably deserved it"

I was on the verge of crying. The wound on her back stopped bleeding, but still, she killed Nathan because she didn't want me to get the punishment.
Why couldn't she just let me do it? I didn't want her to suffer due to my stupidity.

We reached the lake with the willow.

"I'll wash of the Petrichor, then we can go back to the manor"

I sat down on the damp grass and watched Jane walking into the water until it reached her knees.

She slid off her sweater to reveal her beautiful bare back. The pale skin was shinning in the moonlight, just a deep long cut over her right shoulder blade seemed to be like a hurtful warning.
Dried Petrichor was running down almost reaching her waist. The dark liquid was like blood, although it smelled like earth after rain, even from far distance you could recognize that scent.

I caught myself staring at her and quickly turned around.
I waited for her to come out and get back.
Some minutes passed. Finally I glanced behind me.

She was as gone.

"Jane?"
No response.
I got up and looked around.
"Jane?"

Where is she? I thought.
What if there's something the water that pulled her down?
That could be possible since she had to manifest herself to wash of the stain on her sweater.

Slowly I walked into the lake. Water ripples formed as I broke the cold sure face.

I dived in and..
Nothing.
Just cold, moist darkness.

I emerged on the surface again.
"Jane! Where are you?" I started to panic.

Then I heard something behind me.
"I'm sorry" it was her, "I just wanted to remember how it felt"

"How what felt?" I questioned.
Since the dead dries faster than the living the fabric of Janes sweater brightened already. But her face darkened.

"Death"

I remembered. She died in the bathtub. In water. She was there when I died, but we never talked about what had happened to her. I never really thought about it.

"Jane, what exactly happened that night, with you and Rick?" I asked trying not to sound to curious. I didn't want her to feel pressured to tell me.

"I don't want to talk about it"
The words felt like a fist inside my guts.

"That's okay, I-"

"But I want to show you"

Her head disappeared underneath the water after she said that.
I dived in again.
Her white face was barley noticeable in the dark. Her soft lips moved without making a sound and suddenly I was facing a ceiling.

I looked to the side and realized I was in the kitchen of the manor, laying on top of the kitchen counter.

I quickly realized it wasn't me who was on the kitchen counter. It was Jane. I experienced her last minutes in her body, seeing what she saw and feeling what she felt from her memory as if I would be like an bulgar in her dream.

Pre-death-Jane sat up.
"Finally awake, huh?" The gruff voice came from besides her.
He sat on the middle bar stool with nothing but a red empty plastic cup in his hand.

"I've been waiting for someone to wake up for at least an hour"
He got up and put his hand in the chest pocket of his open grey button up shirt.
When he pulled it out he held something in between his fingers.
It looked like a blue plastic tube. It took me a second to see that it was a tampon.

"By the way, this laid besides you, I guess it fell out of your pocket?"

Since I was experiencing this from Janes point of view I didn't see her reaction, however I felt her head going up and down like she was barely noticeable nodding.

"Girl, just no. You can't use these, this is literally one from the gas station" with that he threw it in the trash can.

"Don't," Jane pleaded with a low voice "I need it, Rick"

"No worries, I've got you. In the mirror cabinet over the sink, in the bathroom is a box with tampons, they're even the good organic ones. I just can't stand low quality hygiene products. Take as many as you need, just leave some for me" Rick winked at her.

For some reason I felt a slight bit of sympathy for him. I knew he was my murderer, however, he was pretty charming when he acted all normal.

Jane jumped down from the kitchen counter and muttered a "thanks". Then she headed to the bathroom.

Besides some bright orange pill bottles she found the small  box that contained the tampons.

She took one out of it. Her gaze was fixed on the piece of cotton and one thought, so strong that even I noticed it, was in her mind.

Late.

I had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

She closed the door of the mirror cabinet and shrieked. In the reflection she saw someone behind her.

She dropped the tampon and it rolled under the wash machine.

"My bad, I didn't want to scare you" it was Rick, again. "But," he stepped closer, "there was something else I wanted to tell you"

Now he was just centimeters away from her.
He leaned over to her face and whispered inside her ear:
"I'm so sorry"

"What?"

Suddenly he grabbed her by the neck and threw her against the wall. She fell on the ground.

When she saw the knife in his hands her eyes widened.

"Rick-" she started.
He grabbed her neck again and pulled her to the bathtub, it was filled with hot, steaming water.

He pushed her head in. Bubbles of air rose up from her mouth when she opened it to scream. Everything was blurry.

She tried to defend herself. Tried to get Ricks hands of her.

Then he rammed the knife inside her throat and the water turned red.
All she felt was pain.

He still chocked her lifeless body for five more minutes.
Then he hid the bathtub behind the light blue shower curtain and left.

Everything was still normal for the sleeping students in the living room.

But for Jane everything was just red.

I was back in reality again. While we were in her memory we must have walked out of the water since we were laying on the grass in front of the lake.

Without any hesitation I pulled her into a tight hug.
I backed of a little, embarrassed by my sudden action but then she hugged me back.

A warm feeling spread inside of me.

I didn't know what to say, but I didn't need any words anyways. I was just there for her. And that was the best feeling I've ever had.

Her body against mine, our tangled feet in the grass, my hand in her dark hair.
No sounds.
No blood.
No tears.
Just us.

An// Oh to be a lesbian ghost hugging the person you love in the grass under a willow tree :")
Finally I made it obvious that Rick is FTM, took me long enough.
I hope you enjoyed the double update^^
If yes maybe you'd consider voting and even leaving a comment or a follow? Anything would be cool, I really want to know if y'all actually read it and what you think.
And if you skipped the an on the previous chapter, go read NoXiOuS_PsYcHe and AkanbiFavour books, I love them ^^
Anyways, good day/night~~~

29.05.21
00.52