"Well that was awkward." I say to myself as I look at my reflection in the mirror. My mind was still racing over the previous events. What the hell had Bucky been thinking? Well to be honest, he probably wasn't really thinking at all. My stomach starts to churn and I quickly close my eyes as I try to will the feeling away. Reaching up I grasp gently to the key hanging on neck and let out a heavy breath. "Come on, you need to relax." I tell myself repeatedly as I think about something relaxing.

After a few moments I recollect myself and as I go to leave the bathroom I run smack dab into what felt like a brick wall. I go to back up when a familiar scent of metal and whiskey fills my senses making me furrow my brow as I look up into his whiskey colored eyes and say, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What a brother can't check on his baby sister? Also, I was invited, unfortunately." Tony says a smirk filling his face but I could tell from his eyes that he was worried about me. "So, what made you run in here; or should I say whom?"

"I-" I start but shake my head as I move away from him and back to the sink.

"You okay short stuff?" He asks moving to lean his back against the wall beside the counter.

"I messed up so bad," I say as I reach up to rub my arms soothingly.

"Okay, start from the beginning." He says folding his arms over his chest. I stare at him for a moment contemplating whether or not I should tell him the truth. I contemplate each scenario in my head before I let out a heavy sigh and just tell him everything. I watch him carefully as the words sink into his head. I could tell he was angry, but whether he did something or not, I couldn't tell. "So, you mean to tell me..." He pauses as he reaches up to scratch his perfectly styled facial hair, "That Barnes, kissed the back of your head and you let him walk away?"

"I was in shock, okay?" I say rubbing my forehead as it lowkey starts to hurt.

"I'm not attacking you, I'm just genuinely surprised you didn't knock him on his ass." Tony jokes making me smile. "Ah there it is, I win."

"It's not fair how you always make me smile when I feel like breaking."

"Like I said, that's what brothers are for."

"Thank you, Tony. It means a lot to me that you're here. Speaking of which, who exactly invited you, and why didn't you say anything to me?" I ask joining him as he leaned against the wall.

"Sir daddy Barnes himself." Tony announces making me flinch. "He actually invited the whole family, but pops firmly declined."

"But he knew I'd be here so he sent you."

"Pretty much, plus you know, free booze."

"That's always the best part."

"See I knew we were related."

"One question though," I say making him cock an eyebrow at me. "The fact that this is the ladies room, really means nothing to you does it?"

"Not really, you looked like you needed me. Plus, I'm sure your golden boy is pacing back and forth outside. He's too shy to risk seeing a naked woman."

"Why would any-no, never mind, scratch that, I don't wanna know." I say trying not to let my mind wander.

"Good call." He says lifting his arm up to wrap it around my shoulders giving me a warm side hug. "Now, how about we go meet your boy?"

"On one condition," I say cringing at the way he called Steve a boy.

"And that is?" He asks pulling his arm back to his side.

"Don't tell Steve about what Bucky did." I say making his eyes turn angry. "What I mean is, I don't want him to hear it from you. I'll tell him, but not now. I don't want to cause any problems, or commotions tonight. It's Becky's rehearsal, I don't want to ruin her wedding."

"I understand." He says as he nods. "When will you tell him?"

"After the wedding. If I do it now, I'm worried Steve might lose his temper and say something he regrets, plus I'm pretty sure Bucky is drunk off his ass. There's no telling what might happen."

"Poor boy can't hold his liquor." Tony jokes but I shake my head.

"I think it's something different than that." He eyeballs me and I let out a sigh, "I'm not defending him. I just... I think he's suffering. Kind of like I am." I reach up and gently rub my forehead as a vision of his pained eyes filled my mind. "I don't know, maybe I'm just nerved out."

"Probably, how about we get a drink and relax with rogers?" Tony asks and I nod a soft smile filling my lips.

"I'd like that." I add making him smile as he pushes away from the wall and hold out his arm for me to take. I smile as I loop my arm through his and let him lead me out of the bathroom where a worried Steve stood in wait. As soon as he saw me he rushed over.

"I'll go get your drink." Tony says making me nod as I let his arm go and wait patiently for Steve to reach me.

"(Name), are you okay? You ran straight for the bathroom." Steve asks his arms reaching out to hold me.

"I'm fine, Steve; I just got a little shell shocked. That's all. I'll explain later okay?" I reply making his brow furrow slightly. I knew he wanted to know what happened; but he would wait until I was ready to tell him. He lets out a sigh as he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

"Okay," He gently places a kiss on my forehead before he continues, "I don't like that you won't tell me now, but I know you have your reasons. I trust you." I don't know why, but I felt a tinge in my heart when he said he trusted me. I hadn't done anything wrong but I couldn't shake that feeling of uncertainty. I wrap my arms around him and give him a tight squeeze as I let my fears melt away. He waits for me to pull away first before he lets me go. A second later my brother returns with a couple of glasses full of alcohol.

"I got you a jack and coke," He says handing the cup over to me as Steve wraps his arm around my waist keeping me close to him. "I was going to get you just a straight Jack, but I felt like I shouldn't get you drunk or we'll have a repeat of your graduation night."

"Uh Tony, shut up." I say as I take a sip from my drink making him chuckle.

"What happened on graduation night?" Steve asks making me choke on my drink.

"Oh, she hasn't told you?" Tony asks deviously.

"Tony, don't you dare." I warn him but it just adds fuel to the fire.

"Oh, we gotta fix that."

"Tony, I will throat punch you."

"You gotta catch me first short stuff." He jokes wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"So, what happened?" Steve asks a smirk filling his lips.

"She got drunk and was table dancing to Cowboy Casanova. It was pretty comical, until she threw up all over her friends Peter and Wanda." Tony answers quickly giving me a challenging smile.

"I am going to kill you." I joke making him laugh out loud.

"Kind of wish I could've seen that." Steve says making me glance up at him in shock.

"I was gonna be mean, but I'll let it slide tonight." I say making Steve chuckle as he rubs my side soothingly.

"Thank you, ma'am, I appreciate you letting me live." He says making me giggle.

"Ew, okay, I'm out. I'm gonna mingle and see if I can't score a bridesmaid." Tony says making me roll my eyes.

"Have fun." I call off after him as he rushes off after a tall blonde. When he is gone I turn to Steve and give him a reassuring smile.

"Well Miss. Stark, how about a dance?" He asks and I nod.

"Mr. Rogers, I thought you'd never ask." I reply as I set my drink down on a passing tray and taking his hand let him lead me out to the dancefloor. As he places a hand on my hip he takes my hand in his and gives me a loving smile. "I have to forewarn you, I'm not a very good dancer."

"I guess we could always get you drunk and-"

"Steve!" I say loudly as a blush covers my cheeks.

"Still wish I could've been there."

"I'm sure Peter still has a video of it somewhere, or Tony does." I add a chuckle leaving my lips. "Lord knows I hated the next day."

"I bet. Do you know how much you drack exactly?"

"Tony stopped counting after the fifth bottle; but I did share those bottles with others. I wasn't the only one drinking on those."

"I'll take your word for it." He says his grip tightening on my hip. I'm about to say something when a blur of black catches my eyes making my attention shoot to follow it. It didn't take me long to realize it was Bucky. He had a bottle of expensive liquor in his hand and he was swaying a bit. Steve follows my gaze and his brow furrows. "How much did he drink?"

"I guess a lot." I add making him let out a sigh. I use my hand on his shoulder to gently give it a reassuring squeeze.

All the sudden Bucky falls to the ground causing the room to gasp and something inside me snaps causing me to pull away from Steve and run over to Bucky's collapsed form. As I reach him I kneel down and gently tapping his cheek call his name. "Bucky, can you open your eyes?" I ask as a wave of alcohol smell hits me like a mac truck. It takes a few times but he finally cracks his eye open and as they meet mine his brow furrows.

"I'm sorry," He says barely coherent.

"We'll talk about it later, come on, I need you to get up." I say motioning for Steve to help me pull him to his feet. "We'll take you someplace you can get some rest."

"Will you come with me?" Bucky asks as he reaches up and grips tightly to my hand.

"Bucky..." I start my voice fading as feel all the curious eyes staring at us. It wouldn't be long until there was a rumor running around. I go to tell him no when his sad eyes pierce my resolve. Biting my lip, I say, "I'll help Steve take you where you need to go, okay?"

"Yeah," he nods his grip remaining tightly on my hand causing my hand to burn slightly at the heat of his body.

"Steve," I say as I turn from Bucky to him. Steve looks back and forth between us and I can tell there are a million questions running through his mind. He quickly pushes the questions down as he nods and kneeling down to his best friend pulls his to his feet.

"Come on man, lets get you in bed." Steve says as another man I don't know joins in to help.

Once Bucky is standing, a man on each side of him, I realize that he still has a tight grip on my hand. Gulping down a breath of air I try to pull my hand from him only to have grip tighter. I let out a groan of annoyance as I move closer to him so I can hide our hands as I follow them upstairs. I glance around at all the guests and thankfully not many had really noticed Bucky's drunken stupor. A sigh of relief leaves my lips as we make it out of the main hall and down the hallway to Bucky's room.

As Steve opens the door, I am hit with a wave of melancholy. His room hadn't changed much since we were kids. His rock band posters were still clinging to the walls along with some old photos. I pull my eyes away from them as my anxiety tries to rear its ugly head. Steve and the mystery man, gently sat Bucky down on his bed. His eyes were still open but it didn't feel like he was all there.

"Thank you, Clint," Steve motions in sign language to the other man who just smiled and nodded before giving me a soft smile and leaving the room. Steve's eyes find mine and I offer him an apologetic smile. "You okay?" He asks as he motions to where Bucky still held tightly to my hand.

"Honestly, I have no fucking clue what I'm feeling right now. I mean, I saw him fall and my body just kind of moved on its own. This," I use my free hand to point to where Bucky was holding my hand, "however, I was not expecting and it's kind of making my radars go off; but I wasn't about to make a scene downstairs. At least nothing more than Bucky did by himself. I'd let go; but he's got a strong grip for a drunk."

"I'm not gonna act like it doesn't irritate me; but you're right, fighting with him right now is meaningless." Steve says as he moves forward to remove Bucky's suit jacket. "Come on Buck, let's get this off you."

"Steve?" Bucky asks his eyes moving to his best friend.

"Yeah pal, I'm here."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bucky asks his eyes turning red as tears threatened to fall.

"Tell you about what?" Steve inquires his eyes moving back and forth from Bucky to me.

"About (Name)," Bucky states his voice cracking as his grip tightens on my hand making his head shoot toward me in shock. "(Name)?"

"Yeah, um, you grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go." I say as I try not to let him know how uncomfortable I really was, even though my whole body was screaming to get away from him.

"I'm sorry," He says his brow furrowing as he uses his free hand to reach up and run it through his disheveled dark locks.

"Bucky, you're drunk, we can talk about this later." I say as I try to pull away from him.

"You're right I am drunk." Bucky replies but doesn't release my hand but instead starts rubbing his thumb across my knuckles. "But I need to apologize for what I did."

"Bucky can we do this later, please." I beg making his eyes instantly shoot to mine causing me to gulp down a breath of air. There was a pain in them I had only seen mimicked in my own. Bucky's eyes move from me to Steve and he nods.

"Can you at least promise me you won't disappear again? Please," He asks as he slowly turns back to me. His eyes were begging me and I couldn't help it but It felt like someone else was in charge of my body causing me to nod.

"Well, seeing as tomorrow is Becky's wedding, I can't exactly run away now." No matter how much I want too.

"I want to have a real talk with you. Not one where one of us is afraid of the other, or drunk; a real... heart to heart about Rich."

"Bucky, I don't think I can do that." I reply honestly. Everything that had happened tonight was already enough, making me regret stepping foot outside my parent's house.

"Buck, give the girl some air okay?" Steve says making Bucky nod as he finally releases my hand. I let out a sigh of relief as I quickly move from his bed to stand beside Steve. "Do you need anything?"

"No, you've both done enough for me." Bucky says as he pulls his coat off and tosses it in the corner before pulling at his tie.

"Get some rest okay pal?" Steve adds and Bucky groans.

"I got it Steve," Bucky growls and Steve knows Bucky's had enough.

"Come on (Name)," Steve says calmly as he reaches down and grasps tightly to my hand as if he needed some sort of reassurance that she was with him. I give his hand a reassuring squeeze making his eyes relax.

"Can I talk to her for just a second... alone... please?" Bucky asks before we had a chance to move toward the door. Steve glances at Bucky for a moment before his eyes find mine. They silently asked me if I was okay and I nod.

"I'll be right outside." Steve says bringing my hand to his lips as he leaves a soft kiss atop it.

"I'll be right there." I reply as I watch him reluctantly leave the room.

When it was just myself and Bucky, I glanced over at the man who was now unbuttoning the top couple buttons of his button up dress shirt. I quickly look away as my hand instantly shoots up to my neck to clasp my necklace. "What did you want to say?" I ask, quick to get this night done and over with.

"Just give me a second, I feel like I can't breathe." He says as he unsteadily climbs to his feet and as he stumbles to his balcony doors I follow after him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. As soon as they open we are both hit with a cool night breeze making him let out a sigh of relief. "That's better." He says closing his eyes as he grips tightly to the door knobs for support. "I can breathe now."

"Are you sure you wanna talk now? You look like you could use a rest." I say trying to escape.

"Do you feel him?" Bucky asks his eyes turning sad as tears pooled in the corners of them.

"I..." I start to tell a lie but then it was like seeing a ghost as I look past Bucky to see Richard smiling back at me from beside him. "Ri-Richard?" I barely manage to breathe out as panic and fear fill my body.

"I feel him every time I come back here. I... that night he went after you." He pauses as he feels his body wince. "I got into a fight with him. I was upset because I thought you were just using him. I didn't understand at the time because I was so young but; in a way I felt like he cared more about you than he did his own family. I... I hated you because of that." He pauses his voice cracking as he slowly turns back to look at me. And I felt my heart clench tightly at the look on his face. "I was so stupid (Name), the last thing I said to him was that I didn't care if he died or not." This time the tears did fall from his face. I couldn't help but stare at Richard who looked at his brother with a sad expression saying he wanted nothing more than to hold his brother and tell him it was okay.

I felt my body move on its own as I instantly move over to Bucky and wrapping my arms around him give him the hug I knew Richard wanted too. However, I never took my eyes off Richard. This had to be some sort of hallucination but I didn't care. I could see him. He was here even if he wasn't exactly real. "Bucky, I'm sure Richard knows you didn't mean it." I feel myself say as I try to reassure him. Bucky's arms wrap around me and to my surprise my body wasn't freaking out.

"I wish I could tell him how sorry I was. I wish he was here with Becky. I wish... I wish it could have been me instead of him." He says making my eyes flash open as I pull away from him and angrily grip tightly to his shirt. My eyes finally move from Richard to Bucky's as anger fills my body.

"What the hell Barnes?! Do you really think that is what Richard would want? He loved both you and Rebecca so, so much and if anything were to happen to you he would never forgive himself." I pause his sad eyes reminding me of my own. I had thought and still at times thought the same things he did. I always had wondered what would have happened if it had been me that died instead of Richard. Those thoughts, I knew, would never go away. He leans his head down resting it on my shoulder as a heavy sigh escapes his lips. I look back out the window to see a look on Richard's face that made my heart clench.

His expression said he wanted me to save his baby brother from himself. How was I to do that, when I couldn't even say myself? Clenching my jaw, I reach up with a hand and gently start to smooth Bucky's hair back soothingly. "Bucky, please... please don't do this to yourself. I... I have enough of a hard time with my own thoughts."

"And the main reason you have those thoughts is because of me."

"I won't sugar coat it by saying you're wrong; but the blame isn't entirely on you. I should have known you were just upset at the loss of your brother. Bucky, it's not your fault. It might take forever, but someday, you'll agree with me." I say letting out a sigh.

"I really am truly sorry, (Name)." Bucky says and I nod leaning my cheek against the top of his head.

"I know you are, James." I say causing a shiver to flow through his body.

Suddenly the air in the room felt different. Bucky quickly pulls away form me and gulps down a breath of air as his brow furrows. I would have given anything in the world to know at that moment what was going through his head. "Uh, thank you, (Name); I think I feel better now. Um, I'll see you tomorrow at the wedding." Bucky says quickly making a beeline for what I guessed was his personal bathroom leaving me standing there completely dumbfounded. As the door closes I glance back toward the balcony to see that Richard was gone and my tinge of pain fills my heart.

My body wants to go out onto the balcony but my heart had had enough. I needed out of this house. Turning on my heels I rush over to the bedroom door and pulling it open I step out into the hallway to meet Steve and I guess my face said I needed him and that I needed to escape. He quickly grips my hand and pulls me down the hall to the foyer where Becky was looking at us a worried expression on her face. I give her a reassuring smile and a slight wave telling her I would be back tomorrow and she nods a look of relief filling her face.

Steve quickly grabs our coats and after he hands me mine, we practically run out the front door to his car. Climbing inside I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding until now. "DO you wanna talk about it?" Steve asks and I nod.

"You have to promise not to get mad." I say and he cocks and eyebrow.

"That depends on what happened." He replies and I nod.

"Drive, I'll explain on the way home." I say causing him to nod as he shifts the car in drive and pulls out into the driveway as I tell him everything that happened.