Marco

I cannot think clearly for more than a day now. It's like I am drunk without having touched liquor; it's like I am swimming in ether.

I am actively avoiding to think. Grampa asked me to go and attend a business meeting and I just went without even asking what it was about.

He likely knows something is wrong but hasn't asked any questions. Yet.

"Sir, we will drive to the hotel first, okay?

I don't answer and Antonio makes a decision on his own.

It's around five in the afternoon and the meeting is at eight. It's one of those that are something between cocktail party and business talk, I suppose. Don't really know or care.

My phone is vibrating. I see, rather astonished, that it's Hitomi. She rarely calls and now is the worst moment. I swipe the call away and text a "busy right now, call you later." It's all I have the headspace for.

"Sir, where are you going?" asks Aurelio, one of my shadows, after we checked in and he brought the luggage to my suite.

"For a walk."

"Ok." He stands up to follow.

"Alone," I emphasize.

He doesn't have the courage to say anything. Good.

Very absentminded I climb down the stairs till the third floor. A lady in her fifties is just cleaning them.

I could walk over what she just did but it would be rude. She smiles when she sees me make a turn and walk to the elevator.

There is the ping of the door and there is a flash of lightning.

Should I start believing in divine intervention or is it just a brilliant opportunity for a bad decision? Maybe I'm hallucinating but it feels real to the touch. Yes, real and yes, I touch.

I touch her face and she doesn't move away, she leans into the caress and finally looks up.

The smile on her lips is eery.

"Are you real?" she asks.

*Smut*

I lean down and press my lips lightly on hers as a reply. This is probably the wrongest right thing I did in a long time.

She can move away, but doesn't. Instead she opens her lips and I do the same. And her kiss feels just as desperate as I am on the inside right now.

The door clicks open on the seventh floor.

"Roxi, you need to say no. With words," I tell her but at the same time I wrap my palm around her wrist and open the door to the suite.

She sighs and kisses me again after I close the door, this time it's deep and stormy, with her palms on my face and tears in her eyes.

There would be lots of questions to ask and things to question in normal circumstances. I just don't. Neither of us does.

It's autumn in Paris, the very city of our past misfortune, so it doesn't seem out of place how she is dressed. So I'm not particularly careful when I slide her jacket off or when I unwrap the scarf.

There are visible dark bruises on her arms and neck. I bite my teeth together. My hunch was right all along and I was fucking stupid for ignoring it.

My hand moves gently over the colored skin but she smiles takes it and brings it to her lips to kiss the inside of my palm.

"It doesn't matter," she whispers.

Of course it does. You don't need fingers to survive. It might be difficult to fire a gun without them but so much for bad decisions in life.

Roxana, still smiling, kisses the tips of my fingers and presses the hand on her heart. She is so sweet, as she has always been, the same girl who shot me.

She is not hesitant at all and leads my hands to unzip her dress.

Then she looks at me maybe a bit delirious and steps out of he shoes, wearing only a seamless bra, panties and surprisingly a smile. A lot of smiles. She is probably miserable.

I missed you and it hurts that you have been fucking miserable all this time.

My arms coil around her and we kiss for long minutes with the sizzling feeling of her bare skin under my fingertips.

She unbuttons my shirt under heavy breaths and then stops to look at the scar along my sternum. Tears fall down her cheeks until they drip from her face and her lips move slowly along the scar.

I lift her chin and say with the same tone "It doesn't matter."

I don't care what people say or what damn reason says.

She sighs from deep inside and presses her forehead on my shoulder. I lift her up. Her legs wrap around my torso and her arms around my neck. It's nice to feel her very strong heartbeats on my skin.

If there is something in this world that can make me avoid thinking or hurting in this moment it's this.

I wrap the sides of her panties around my palm and the fabric breaks with a silent screech. Now they can be peeled off without breaking the kiss just leaning her slightly against a wall.

"Please touch me." It's between a moan and a cry.

There is the roughness of the wall, the smoothness of her skin, her expression of bliss on the brink of tears. It's the most efficient way in the world of not thinking.

Unlike the other times we slept together this time she isn't avoiding my gaze but seeking it even if it looks like it's hurting her to looking me in the eyes, she does it anyway, with equal joy and pain.

And when I finally enter her, pressed against the wall she smiles, cries out and lets tears flow not breaking eye contact for even a bit through all the more or less blissful movements.

"Good?" I ask. I can't help it.

"Always," she says. "Despite everything."

And we feel both out breath and hearts getting fast and exploding, looking into each other's eyes and her nails digging into the back of my hands.

She is crying and smiling when I let her body down on the perfectly made hotel bed and lay down by her side.

I hug her from behind and we stay like that in silence, still partially dressed when there are many and difficult things to say.

"What happened to you?" she asks after a while and turns to face me.

It's difficult to put into words.

"I know something did because this is very unlike you."

"Is it like you though?" I ask.

"I am a treacherous whore, so I suppose it is."

"If he said it, it doesn't make it true."

"If you are in love with someone while being in a relationship with someone else, doesn't it make it true to some extent?" she says matter of factly, sounding pretty resigned.

"It depends on the reasons why you are in that particular relationship, which I am very curious about too." I smile a bit tauntingly. Just a bit. It feels like my heart is a bit less heavy.

"He helped me keep Dani safe," she says looking down at her fingers.

The sudden revelation sweeps through me.

"Dani, your brother? Who is... alive?"

"Yeah." Only that. Not more.

Oh, Christ! I grab her hands.

"Roxi, look at me."

"Why?" she still doesn't. This time actively.

"Because I need to trust you."

She finally looks up.

"Why did you do it?" She knows what and she finally looks up.

"I guess by doing what I just did I have endangered my brother without measure anyway, so it doesn't matter anymore." She sighs deeply. "Stefano found him and said he was going to kill him otherwise. I saw no other way. I just didn't. He said he had men infiltrated in your personal guards and I had a transmitter in my arm so I saw no other way. And now I have cheated on my very jealous and influencial boyfriend with a guy that has a very dangerous fiance. I am officially the dumbest creature on earth but it has always been you. Only you. It might be hard to believe but it is true." She takes another deep breath. "I think if you shoot me everything will be ok. Thiago will leave Dani in the witness protection program and your fiance will not care. You don't even have to tell her, I suppose. I think it would be fair. Otherwise, I can do it myself. The seventh floor is enough. But I want to ask you one thing. Your brother is crazy and is after Kary. Please make him stop, as my death wish."

Now it's my time to sigh.

"This was a lot of information, many of it very disturbing."

"Disturbing is a good adjective for my life. So? Do we have a deal."

I lean over abruptly and wrap my arms around her so very tight she lets out a squeek.

"What are you doing?"

"Seeing a small light at the end of a tunnel. You see, Pebbles, I could live just fine with you shooting me but Lord how good it feels to know you had a reason, one that holds up and makes sense. We are indeed in a lot of shit now but you need to tell me. Look at me." I look up to see her eyes and grab both her hands. "Do you want to be with me? For ever, don't matter what? I am taking a leap of faith here so I need to hear it."

"Yes. But there is still my brother. And I don't really know where he is because Thiago is using him to keep me in check. I love you and want to be with you but I cannot abandon him."

"I would never ask you to."

"Marco, I know you are very smart and very good at killing people but right now you seem a bit unstable. You are still engaged and are asking the girl who shot you to go steady."

It does look like it.

"Oh, I most definitely am not engaged anymore." I pause. " She just doesn't know it yet."

Roxi lets out a little laugh. Can't blame her. It's so tragic it's funny.

"Not cool," she says.

"I beg to differ," I say and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You just cheated on her with me and I am pretty sure she thinks I am beyond pitiful. That was what her expression was saying when we met. Not that it matters with whom, it's shady. So give me a good explanation why you think in your little head that you broke up? And didn't tell her."

Hitomi went to see Roxi. This is so strange and means a few things. That she does know me after all and that she cares in her own weird way.

"She gave the order to kill Anabella. It is the one thing I cannot forgive. I found out recently and still needed time to process it. It sucks. A lot. It also means the house of Medici will be in open conflict with the Yoshida. It means one more problem for you."

She touches my face and presses her forehead to mine.

"Yes, it's horrible even for your world. I am so sorry. But why?"

It pains to think about it.

"I am not sure but all my suppositions are awful and don't matter in the end."

She kisses my forehead gently but after that she sits up and slides on her dress.

"I wish I could stay."

"You aren't actually...?"

"I need to get back and shower before Thiago is back. Bruno said the meeting might take till tonight but it can also end in the afternoon and it would be an understatement to say he would be pissed if I am not there."

A lot of thoughts swirl through my head. Most of them violent. Now I am up too, button up my pants and walk towards her.

"I don't think I have a choice until I find Dani. I don't want him to get hurt. Look, Marco..." She sighs and her voice is shaking. She's ... afraid. Of... possibly me? "I might have to have sex. I know how it sounds but..." Now she is shaking a bit and crying a different type of tears.

Oh gosh, whatever happened is worse than expected.

I wipe her tears away and grab her face.

"That. Is not going to happen."

"You don't know him and I just fucking cheated on him. Like a whore."

"Morality is rather difficult to chrystalize in this situation. But I am pretty sure that biology works in the way that you cannot get a hardon without a pulse."

She bites her lower lip and then presses her forehead on my shoulder chuckling.

"Marco, the fact that I am laughing right now should show that I am not well. I don't want you to harm him. I mean it. Not only because I fear about Dani but he did help and was kind until we didn't work anymore. He doesn't deserve it."

"I beg to differ. Again. But practically speaking, I also need to be in an apparent relationship with Hitomi until I talk to Grampa and we have a plan. The difference is that I can defend myself."

I hug her even tighter.

"Roxi, there will come a time of joy, peace and love poems but right now it will be blood. I need to call Grampa, because there needs to be a solution where you don't have to leave."

___________________________________

Now of course some shit will happen. Speculations?
Who will die?

And yes, I know it's not a good murder mystery if Hitomi killed Anabella. I was thinking from the beginning it should be either her, Yamato or Lorenzo. Lorenzo would have been more impactful but then he grew on me :p.

Also Marco and Roxi were rather irresponsible... Tztztz. Just boning like that...