Roxana

It's such a hypnotic blue, that I could stare at for hours. I have never seen such a beautiful calming view before. I have also never lived at story fourteen of an apartment building on the beach. During the last year of my life, I lived in a container and in an improvised hut in a favela. I don't mean to be ungrateful for these things given the circumstances but a real shower and this view just make life a little bit more worth living.

There is a knock on the door and I shriek up.

"Who is it?" I scream without thinking and searching for the backpack I put the gun in. It's not that gun that ruined my life. That stayed at the location of the crime. I have considered not even wiping my fingerprints from it because it's quite obvious who did it. No, this one I bought when we got to Brazil. It wasn't that hard, just a bit scary but in case Lorenzo finds us I want to be able to at least try to give Dani a chance to escape.

"Me. Or who else knows your new address already?" Thiago's voice is jolly and it irritates me again. People in this country are so positive and jolly, maybe because of the weather but it's in deep contest with my grim self. "Come on, open up, I brought coffee and things to eat. Your brother might appreciate that."

Dani exits the bedroom and unlocks the door before I can do something about it. Ah, fuck it. It doesn't matter anyway.

Thiago enters, all smiles carrying a bag and three coffee cups.

"Oh you brought us coffee, how cute!" Dani beams at him.

"And pao de queijo. Does that promote me to sweetheart?"

Is Dani blushing? That's ... I don't have time to finish my thought because Thiago turns his gaze to me and almost drops the bag with snacks.

What's wrong with him? His gaze is on me and oh shit! I fell asleep last night without noticing and now I am here in front of him wearing only panties and a t-shirt. No bra, nothing else. There isn't much left to the imagination.

"Oh fuck, I... Will go put some clothes on. I am sorry!" I run into the bedroom and grab the first pair of pants I can find.

When I am back, they are sitting at the table chatting jolly and drinking coffee.

"Cathy, these weird cheese somethings are oddly addictive. Try one." Dani extends the bag and I grab reluctantly a little brown ball. It's not good, nor bad, kind of ordinary but I am very hungry. Thiago's mimic is slightly sheepish. He is trying actively to look at my face.

"You came for the money, right? How much would be appropriate for such a place? I was thinking we are going to stay for a week and then leave for Argentina." Let's end the awkwardness and prepare the exit.

"What? You didn't tell me that! We still have two months visa felt here. Why? I don't want to go."

Dani, what the fuck? He is doing it very much on purpose. Now he told Thiago a rather clever lie that adds up with our mock timeline but is in favor of his very obvious plan.

"I cannot pay you more than two hundred dollars a week." That is not nearly enough for such a place. On Air BnB, it would likely be four or five times the price. "We cannot afford to stay here more than a week. We cannot afford it if we want to keep traveling."

"I don't want to keep traveling," states Dani. He is actively trying to check-mate me in front of the enemy. "I like it here. I want to stay and go to school here."

"We can't."

"Well, Brazil is not a hard country to emigrate to. You only need a university degree or -"

"I don't have one. I dropped out."

"And what did you do after that? If you have a high school degree and two years of relevant work experience it can also work. What did you do after dropping out?"

"Nothing."

"Really?" he raises an eyebrow. "You don't look like the type to do nothing."

"I dropped out before graduating because my mom died and I was too depressed to do anything for a while. Happy? Now you know." I will burn in hell. I can't help feeling shady for the half lie. It's my mom I am lying about. But there isn't anything sacred to me it seems.

"Can I talk a bit alone with your sister?"

"Sure. I will be in the hallway so she doesn't get frightened." Dani smirks and gets out.

"Two hundred is enough and you can help out at the bar for a few hours a day for the rest? How about that? Tips will be all yours. We have a lot of tourists coming so you won't need too know much Portuguese. Like this, you won't feel guilty. He clearly wants to stay and he is happy here. Two months is not the world, so why are you so reluctant?"

"I... I don't know. Traveling keeps me busy and takes my mind off things."

"So does working and you get money instead of losing it. I can't employ you properly, because of the visa issue, but I can pay you what a waitress makes and you can gather some money for future trips."

"I... Why are you so suuuper, weirdly helpful?"

"I was taught by my mom to lend a hand to people in need. And I like you, I told you that. Give it a chance. Whoever hurt you did a terrific job because you seem to not want to trust anybody ever again, as much as they try to prove you wrong. One day. Just try it."

"Okay. Just stop talking."

He smiles triumphantly. Fuck you.

"You can start tomorrow. Or better the day after tomorrow, tomorrow we need to go to Henrique's barbecue." Only tied up am I going to go to a policeman's party where likely more policemen linger.

"Sure." But I might get a sudden headache tomorrow, or better diarrhea.

After this, he finally leaves and I sink exhausted on the sofa. This situation is getting more and more problematic. I don't have the energy to fight with Dani today, so I leave it at it.

Saturday is coming but there is no other mention of that party and I am relieved. On Sunday morning, he is again at our door with pastries and coffee so I can't escape my word.

We descend to the bar and he shows me basic stuff like where everything is, and how to work with the coffee machine or the register.
I must admit that these tasks do keep my mind off things.

"Did you ever work as a waitress or similar?"

"No."

"It's much about walking a lot, having a good memory, and being pleasant. You might not be pleasant but you are pretty and your hair color is making you stand out, so that will make up for a bit."

Shit, I didn't think of it. A stupid thought creeps into my mind. What if people will start talking about the blond waitress who doesn't speak Portuguese? It's a stupid thought and Lorenzo can't find me because of that only, but it makes me hate my hair color. It's something I used to like about me. Now I think there isn't much left I don't hate about myself.

There are four other waitresses and a bartender working at the bar on a regular basis. We don't talk much because I am cranky and don't speak much Portuguese, but I have overheard them saying that I am probably sleeping with Thiago and that's why I got the job. Not quite it but not far-fetched either.

The work is indeed a lot of footwork but working on site was the same; the same goes for having a good memory when you work for the very chaotic Christian. Christian... I wonder what he is doing. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have ever gone to Italy and met neither of them. I don't know what would have been of me. If it weren't for Marco, Ivan would be still alive which si also not a good narrative. Nothing in my life is a good narrative.

I hate to admit it but I love working. I will most certainly not admit it to him but he likely knows. I see it in the way he smiles when he looks at me taking an order. People are also nice. I have been told a dozen times to smile more but besides that, they were all nice and tipped me well for remembering their orders right without them having to repeat.

And Thiago... I thought he works at the bar full time but he is most of the day gone. I wonder what he is doing when he is not here.

"Ei, garota. Me conte algo. Você é ou não é namorada do Thiago?/Hey, girl. Tell me something. Are you or are you not Thiago's girlfriend?" asks Luana, one of the waitresses, a week after I started working. She was chewing at that question from day one.

I expected it so I answer simply. "Não sou./I am not."

"Voce acredita?/ Do you believe her," says another, called Júlia.

"Não, mas dona Nada queria saber, e eu quero que ela goste de mim, então perguntei./No, but Miss Nanda wanted to know and I want her to like me so I asked."

"Ela não vem aqui ultimamente; normalmente ela vem aqui pelo menos uma vez por semana. Felizmente ela tem você como espiã./She hasn't come here lately; usually, she is here at least once per week. Luckily she has you as a spy." Luana laughs.

"Oh meu Deus, falando do diabo,/ Oh my god, speaking of the devil," says the other girl.

I turn my gaze towards the door of the bar to see the woman who just entered. She is not very tall, curvy, and dresses elegantly but a bit flashy in a very red overall. Her hair is long and dark, her skin tanned and her eyes deep brown. She is wearing a white hat matching her heels and purse and her long stiletto nails are perfectly manicured and painted in a dashing crimson. They are really pretty. I always had a thing for pretty nails. I am not sure what to think of her though. She seems very attractive, maybe a bit aggressive in her style but definitely a head-turner who looks at least ten years younger than her actual age.

The girls greet her with "Dona Nanda, tudo bem?" And Luana whispers something in her ear looking at me. I suppose I know who I am looking at. Maybe she will throw and tantrum and fire me. 

She stops in front of me. The high heels make her a bit taller than I am, but only by a bit; we are mostly on eye level at least physically. 

"Então você é a nova garçonete, qual é o seu nome?/ So you are the new waitress, what's your name?"

I don't know the word garçonete, but the context implies it means waitress, maybe also something mean. 

"Caterina. Não falo muito bem português./ I don't speak portugeuse very well."

"You speak more than I expected you to speak," she says in English to my very obvious surprise. I didn't expect her to speak English. Most people I met in Brazil so far prefer to not speak English with me and drag on my quite bad Portuguese, so this is a surprise. "And with your meager Portuguese, you managed a week of employment in this bar without incidents. Well done. I always told Thiago to give chances to more unlikely candidates. They are likely to be more loyal long term. It seems he does listen to me after all. Speaking off..." She turns to the other girls. "Onde está meu filho ligeiramente pródigo?/ Where is my slightly prodigal son?"

"Acho que ele está tomando uma bebida com os amigos./ I  think that he is having a drink with his friends," answers Luana right way. 

"Quais amigos?/Which friends?" Her eyes narrow slightly. 

"Provavelmente Henrique, Davi, Bruno... esse time./Probably Henrique, Davi, Bruno... that squad." 

Now she straight up frowns. Do I need to be part of this conversation? Probably not. I will just exit elegantly since she seems to not plan on firing me. 

"Desde quando ele está passando tempo com eles novamente?/ Since when is he meeting them again?" Ok, so mommy doesn't like his friends. Well, none of your business, Roxi; just walk away.

"Há alguns meses, Davi veio e eles tiveram uma longa conversa no escritório. Suponho que desde então,/ A few months ago Davi came and they had a long talk in the office. I suppose since then," says Luana snickering a little bit. Lady, your employee is a total spy.  Again, none of your business, Roxi. Just walk away. 

"A senhora não gosta quando ele está conversando com eles, né? Tem medo que convençam ele a voltar, né?/ You don't like it when he is talking to them, right? You are afraid they are going to convince him to go back, right?" Luana's smile is almost a sneer, but I finally leave. 

To return to what exactly? Hmm...

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Thoughts? Mostly on the last part? Is obvious enough but not very on the nose?