I miss you. I can't wait to see you. The thought of you actually reading this scares me. What if you find this, and you know it's you? Maybe that would be good. Maybe then you would know that I like you back.

But then there's that feeling that gets in the way. That stupid feeling. It's the feeling I get when I talk about you, hear about you, think about you. Which is most of the time. And my stomach churns. Not as if I'm repulsed, but as if I'm incredibly attracted. But also, I'm really not sure. Not sure if I want to leave our friendship for something that could turn out worse. Not sure if this is the right thing to do. Not sure if I really like you like that. I'm just not sure.

That feeling is a mixture of love and hate, and since they're almost the same things, I don't know which one is which. And it scares me. I want to send these to you anonymously. I really do.

I love/hate you I think.

-me