October 11

Dear You,
      Hey, long time no write. I feel like I'm more sad then normal. Maybe I'm going through a depression episode, but not really. It's a confusing state in my life right now. I don't have medicine for my anxiety and depression. My parents haven't really done anything about my siblings.

They fight, a lot. And I don't mean an argument, I mean yelling and hitting and kicking small step stolls into each other's ankle. Yeah I have messed up siblings. Anyways, I don't really want to feel anything. I just want to talk to my friends and rp with them. But F***ING stress is ticking me THE F*** off. Slowly making me insane cliché is not what I'm talking about. I'm going insane real fast.

I am afraid of people and touching, my parents put me down then build me up and cycle, I am afraid of my parents, I don't know how to tell them about all THE SH*T I'M TALKING ABOUT, anxiety, depression, my sisters fighting, my sisters getting angry at me, school drama, the other personality, ghosts, demons, my own demons, insanity, periods, worry for my brother, the school trip(that stress had calmed down a bit), sickness, worrying that I won't ever get the courage to call for help, fear in general, and there is much more.

I can almost talk all day about this and still not ask for help because I'm afraid that you would tell my parents and then my parents would get mad and ground me and-

I need to calm down. I am going insane and I need help. This is not for attention, this is real. I'll call a suicidal hotline when I'm alone. Maybe they can help.

Anyways, I hope you all have an amazing day. Hopefully I will.

                                                       Bye!,
                                   The whole gang