Wednesday, December 30th, 1801

My Dearest, Philip,

                                        There have been many times where the gap between our letters has been prolonged, but I always know I would receive a letter in the end. This time, I know I will get another message from you. I know I will never see your hand on an envelope. But I keep waiting, hoping that one of these days a letter will appear from you.

A letter about your father, the complaints or praise you have. A letter about your strange musings for the day. Thoughts on life, death, love, and everything in between. Even a short letter about your siblings. Anything is better than the silence I know I am going to receive over the coming years.

I just cannot believe you are gone. I do not want to accept that you are gone. Joseph says it will become easier over time, but he does not understand. He will never understand what it is like to lose the love of your love, to regret every moment you did not spend with them. I wish we could have seen more of each other, broken our parents room for just one more moment, one more second.

There are so many what ifs and none of them can be fixed.

I just wish you were here.

Love Always,

Theodosia Burr Alston.

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Notes;

Although there is a significant decline in Historical data surrounding Theodosia, we can see here that, despite his passing, Burr continued to write letters to her former lover. This shows us how much she missed him as well as any possible regrets she may have had when she made the ultimate decision to marry Joseph Alston.