Broken.

Felix was broken.

The same image of Shadow's sorrowful smile kept after he ended their relationship kept flashing through his mind.

The letters stopped arriving and Shadow always had her curtains closed. Bendy would avoid Felix. Boris would generally avoid the house.

It was now the 23rd of December, and Felix was gazing out his window, imagining him and Shadow playing in the snow, pelting each other with snowballs then enjoying some hot chocolate or tea inside afterwards. He should be in Christmas spirit.

But he wasn't.

He sat down on his bed and re-read the letters that his 'secret' admirer sent to him, wondering who would see such nice qualities in a monster like him.

78. How you can brighten up somebody's day with just a smile. Stay golden. ;)

90. How you care about small things, even when you don't. Details create the bigger picture.

He'd been receiving the notes for over 3 months now but still didn't know who S.c. was.

He reached under his bed for his old guitar. He hadn't played it in a while but still remembered how to use it.

He started playing quietly, imagining Shadow sitting next to him singing along.

Hot dive into frozen waves
where the past comes back to life

Fight fear for the selfish pain
It was worth it every time

Hold still right before we crash
Cause we both know how this ends

A clock ticks till it breaks your glass
And I drown in you again.

Felix glanced through his window and the bare branches of the tree at Shadow's window, still closed and covered with the curtains inside. The singing died along with the strumming of the guitar. Neither of them wanted to make any contact. What they had together was long gone. Felix put his guitar back under his bed. His life was pretty pointless right now.

He'd probably just wait for the holidays to be over then go back to school for more studying.

How boring.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Shattered.

Shadow was shattered.

She'd actually thought Felix was different.

How stupid.

He was just like the old bullies. The ones that had forced her out of her old school.

The cutting had started again. Thin red lines littered her arms like little flecks from a paintbrush.

How ugly. What would Felix see in her?

Oh, right, nothing. He left her.

Felix was the one thing that kept her from leaving this corrupted world they lived in. He was her lifeboat that left her for dead. Oh, the irony.

She pulled a star-patterned piece of paper from under her and picked up a red pencil, writing down her final letter as best and as clear as she could, despite her shaking hands.

She didn't even notice she was crying until her tears dripped onto the paper. Not bothering to wipe her eyes clear, she folded up the letter and put it into an envelope, making sure Felix wasn't looking and sliding the message under his window before putting on her black dress and going to her special place.

The waterfall.

Bucket list:

1. First kiss
2. Get drunk
3. Dance in the rain
4. Adopt a pet
5. Raise a sapling
6. Fall in love
7. Get married/propose
8. First heartbreak
9. Visit the stars
10. Change someone's life