10th July, 2020

Eram's cast was finally removed and she was free to use her right hand as well. She was beyond happy to have her cast removed and she was using her hand with so much joy. Not being able to use her hand for a long time had made her feel as if she didn't have one, and now that her cast was removed, she felt blessed to have hands to help herself.

She kept thanking her Rabb to have blessed her with basic things that so many other people lacked. She kept looking at her hand in astonishment, and every time she used her right hand, she was reminded of how she had lost her ability to use her hand temporarily, and she couldn't help but whisper a silent 'Alhamdulillah' to have her ability to use it back.

She was able to move her legs pretty much as well but she still wasn't able to walk properly though. Every day she was practicing to stand on her own feets and walk, but a little walking and she would already feel exhausted. It was taking up most of her energy, tiring her without much efforts.

The same was the case with her relationship with Shumail. A little progress and then a sudden halt. Shumail wasn't ready. He was insecure and was afraid to trust again, and she felt it was her fault that she couldn't make him believe in her. She felt she should have been clear with him from the very beginning. She should have given him the assurance that she believed in him and trusted him, but she failed. The reactions of her actions were starting to take a toll on her, and she felt she was beginning to lose her energy and confidence to win Shumail back.

She wasn't sure how long she was going to hold onto their relationship anymore. Her heart hurt and her confidence was beginning to waver.

It wouldn't be too long until she finally gives up and return back to her world, far away from Shumail and his memories.

Eram sighed and shaking her head, she tried to get herself back on what she was doing. It was on one particular evening that she was in the kitchen, trying to arrange some snacks for Shumail, when her brother walked in.

"What are you doing, aapi?" Zain asked. She looked back at him and gave him a smile.

"Your Shumail bhai will be back from office in some time. I'm arranging some snacks for him." She answered. "You want some?"

"But bhai said he will be late." Zain answered, his lips pressed in a thin line.

"When? He didn't say anything to me." Eram's forehead was creased in confusion.

"He just gave a call on the landline and told me to inform you." He said.

"He told you to inform me?" Eram asked with raised eyebrows and her brother nodded. "Ohk." She nodded, putting up a smile.

"I have some homework remaining. I'll get it done." Her brother excused himself and walked away, leaving her behind. She slowly pushed the wheels of her chair and headed out of the kitchen, to go to her room.

Since her accident, as she was unable to walk, her belongings were shifted to the room beside the staircase, and not to let her brother have any suspicion of them not being together, Shumail had shifted his few belongings in that room as well, which they were sharing temporarily. It was a pretty decent room, but it lacked Shumail's scent and touch. Eram felt herself comfortable in his room, but not wanting to trouble him for carrying her to the room upstairs all the time, she kept silent.

Once in the room, she closed the door shut and began to push the wheels to go to the closet. Taking her diary from the closet, where she have it hidden, she began to wheel her chair back towards the bed. After Shumail disappeared without even a word a year ago, Eram was left with nothing. How much ever she tried, she couldn't reach him.

Back then, the only thing that helped her was her diary and all the letters she wrote to Shumail. Not a week went by that she didn't write one to him and hand it over to his secretary, who promised to post them to him. Eram kept asking her where Shumail was, but his secretary not once tell her, reasoning that Shumail would fire her if she disclosed his whereabouts.

Every time she wrote a letter to him, she poured her heart and soul in it, hoping that when Shumail would read it, he would understand her feelings and forgive her. She waited for any reply from his side, but not once did she get any.

Sighing out to herself, she opened her diary and turning through the pages, she opened a fresh page.

'Day 487.

Still without you.

You are so close to me but there's such a long distance between our hearts, I am fearing that I won't be able to cross it anymore.

When you returned back, it was as if a new ray of hope for me, but I guess I was being a fool to keep myself in fake illusions.

Should I wake up from this dream of mine? I should get myself together, right?

Tell me, my dear Shumail?

Am I still your wife? Or is it high time that I should stop myself, get my act together and free you from this painful chains of our namesake marriage? I am starting to think that I am not so capable. I am not capable to pull you back to myself, and not even worthy of your love.

Yes. I better stop creating a happy world for ourselves in my imagination. It's not for me.

Should I say a goodbye? Or just walk off without any?

I don't want to put you in more trouble.

Will you promise me to stay happy? Since I won't be there, promise me you'll start a new life, move on and get happiness that you deserve?

I actually would like to apologise to you for creating such a havoc in your peaceful life. I'm sorry.

I also wish that I could say this to you...I love you, Shumail. I always will, with all my heart.

Yours and only yours,
Eram Shumail Ibrahim.'

Eram smiled at her own self and shaking her head at herself, she closed her diary shut. Her name sounded nice to her, but she wasn't going to keep the tag of his wife much longer. It was best that she freed him from the bond which he didn't wanted to keep anymore. She wasn't going to ask for a divorce, she was just going to walk away. She wanted to remain as his wife till her last breath.

Facing out of the window, looking at the green grass swaying from side to side, she didn't realise when time passed by. She kept seated on her wheelchair looking at a distance, nothing in particular, and only when she heard the sound of tyres screeching, that she was brought out of her reverie. Looking at the clock, she realised it was past midnight. Quickly keeping aside her diary so that Shumail doesn't find it, she wheeled her chair, heading out of the room.

Her gaze fell on Shumail's face the moment she stepped out and saw him on a call, all smiling and happy. She haven't seen him smiling so big since so long. Looking at him smile, her lips curled up in a small smile as well.

"Oh no, Ms. Bahar. You've already been really very good to me when I was staying there in Turkey. It's really not needed...." Shumail stopped talking when his gaze landed on Eram but he went back to his conversation the next moment, walking past Eram and heading to their room. Her smile fell but she tried to brush it off and headed back to the room, following his trail.

She saw his call had ended and he was removing his overcoat and his waistcoat, tossing his cell phone aside.

"Shall I arrange you dinner? I was waiting to have it toget..."

"Umm no, it's fine. I had my dinner with the delegates." He answered, cutting her midsentence and before she could say something further, he walked to the closet, to change.

"..together with you." She completed in a small voice.

He walked back after changing and began to take steps towards his side of bed.

"Can you put me on bed one last time?" Eram requested. His gaze fell on her and he gave her a look.

"As if you won't be doing such things on purpose to get me to talk to you, anymore." He mummbled but she happened to hear him, and still chose to stay silent. He walked up to her and putting his hands under her form, he pulled her up and placed her form on the bed, making her lie in a comfortable position. Bringing the duvet from under her knees, he covered her with it and rounding the bed, he got to his side.

"Its just that my neck is a bit stiff from sleeping on the couch, so I'm sharing a bed. Don't get any other ideas." He declared, bringing the duvet and covering himself with it.

"I won't. Don't worry." She answered, a small smile etched on her lips. Her back was facing him and she could feel him shuffle to get in a comfortable position. Moments later when she no more felt him shuffle, she turned towards him and saw him fast asleep.

Scooting closer to him, she put her hand around his torso and pressing her form against his back, she tried to close her eyes and sleep. "One last time, Shumail. Just...one last time." A lone tear threatened to spill which she quickly wiped away and putting up a smile, having him close to herself, she began to lose herself in deep sleep.

Shumail stirred in his sleep and feeling an intrusion, his eyebrows creased. He felt a hand on his torso, and it felt warm. He shifted in the bed to have a look at the intruder, only to find Erum trying to snuggle in him. His forehead creased looking at her. "She's trying to grab every chance she could." He mumbled in his half asleep state, but a smile threatened to break on his lips, seeing her try so hard to hold onto him. His heart was bursting with unknown emotions, and as much as he wanted to not let himself lose, he found himself unable to.

His eyes landed on her face and saw her forehead was creased. Shocking himself, he brought his hand up to her face, wanting to trace the creased lines and ease them, and as he placed his forefinger on her forehead, he felt her skin burning hot to touch. His own forehead creased and he quickly placed his palm flat against her forehead and then on her cheeks to check her temperature, and felt her skin burning with fever.

"She have a high fever." He spoke to himself. "Eram?" He whispered softly, tapping on her cheeks. "Eram?" He called out again but she wouldn't move. Removing her hand from around his torso, he got out of the bed and quickly walked to the bathroom to get the medicine box. Searching through the box, he grabbed a ibuprofen tablet and walked back to her quickly. Filling a glass of water, he sat on the bed with his one leg folded under himself and the other dangling down the bedside.

"Eram?" He cooed softly and putting his hand under her back, he pulled her form up in his arm to make her sit. Eram opened her eyes a bit, too dazed to take in her situation. "Take this tablet. It will help your fever." Putting the tablet in her mouth, he put the glass of water to her lips, helping her drink it slowly.

He tried to make her lie back down but her hand, which was holding his tshirt in her grip, didn't let him. Instead she pushed herself more in his chest and tried to snuggle in, as if seeking some warmth. He felt her shudder in his arms and looking at her burning with fever as well as shuddering, he felt quite worried.

"Eram?" He tried to tap her cheeks and get her to talk to him. "Let's get you to a doctor, hmm?"

"Please..." She tried to speak but the words wouldn't roll off her tongue. "Pl..ease.. hold me." She snuggled more in him. Shumail quickly put off the AC and brought the duvet up to wrap it around her for some warmth. He was surprised on himself, that he still cared for her, more than ever.
He brought her legs closer to his and pushing both their bodies down, he made her lie down comfortably on his arm, and pulled her even more closer to himsef, if there was any space left between the two. Her petite hands were holding his tshirt in her tight grip and her body was shivering. Putting his other hand around her waist, he practically had cacooned her petite form in his protective hold, hoping that his body heat could help her a bit, and she kept snuggling in him more, feeling his soothing warmth.

Her face was hiding just a bit below his neck, under his chest, and he felt the feeling was something different. Much to his own surprise, holding her so close to himself, felt good.

There were debating thoughts in his mind, and he wasn't able to decide what he actually wanted.

'She's ill, that's the only reason I'm doing this.'

He tried to reason to himself, but he wasn't convinced with it either.

But there was one thing for sure that he needed to decide on quick, before she finally gives up and decides to leave for good.

Assalamualaikum!

Back with an update! I don't know why but this chapter felt heartbreaking to me!

Eram's actually been counting days! Someone tell Shumail about all this! T_T

I seriously don't know how these two will reunite, or if they'll ever get back with each other?!

And if you guys don't know then a new story "Sometjing in the first Snow.." is up on my profile. Go ahead and read the story of Kinza Malik. I'm sure sure you'll love her and everyone else too ;)

Until next time....lamtumirë!