27th June, 2020

There are times in life when two souls desperately want to hold onto each other, express their feelings, talk everything out, but can't. Circumstances don't let them, or maybe awkwardness falls between the two. There are times in life when you have so much to say to the other person, but sadly, the other person don't even want to hear it.

That's how the gap between a relationship increase. That's how two people drift apart.

The same was the case with Shumail and Eram.

Eram had so much to say but Shumail didn't wanted to hear even a word of it.

She had mustered up all her courage and kissed him with all her heart last time, and the result was worse. He had walked off abruptly and she didn't get to see him for the coming two days. She thought he would feel her heart, her feelings through the kiss, but it only pushed him more away from her. When he finally came home two days later, he stayed in his office and refused to come out. She looked for every chance she could get to see him, and even when coincidentally they came under the same roof, he avoided her gaze.

Days were passing slowly, and the gap between the two was increasing as well. She finally had thought that now that he was back, she would work to earn his forgiveness, but things weren't going as per how she had thought.

As she sat in the garden, waiting for her nurse, she wondered if she could ever earn Shumail's forgiveness and get back with him, and she had absolutely no confidence that she could, but she was still going to keep trying.

She was brought out of her thoughts when a hand was placed on the handle of her wheelchair and it was pushed forward.

"Ready for your walking sesson?" The nurse asked and she looked back at her, and gave her a nod. "Your hand movements have improved a lot. Happy to finally have your cast removed?" She asked.

"Yes? When can I finally take it off? It's such a trouble to have this cast." She grumbled, making the nurse smile.

"Let me check." The nurse came forward and opening the belt of her shoulder support pouch, she removed it from around her neck. "Now, slowly try to move your hand." She instructed and Eram slolwy let go of her fractured hand, which she held in her free hand, and as the nurse instructed, she slowly tried moving it. She brought it halfway up and then the nurse stopped her hand. Holding her hand, she slowly began to open it.

"Does it hurt?" The nurse asked.

"Just a bit." Eram answered. The nurse held her hand and began to move it up and down slowly.

"This is good." Her nurse said. "Maybe a week or so, or even less. You can have your cast removed." She smiled at Eram and Eram's lips curled up in a smile as well. "Now, let start with your walking session, yeah?" Eram nodded. The nurse began to push her wheelchair till they got to the poles that were hammered for her. Upon two vertical poles that were approx 10m apart, a horizontal one was laid, and such a similar one was hammered at a two feet apart distance. The nurse held her hand and pulled her up. Putting her hand on one pole for her to hold, the nurse quickly came and held her fractured one, putting her other hand around her shoulder for Eram to lean on.

"Now, try taking a step."

Eram tried pushing her leg forward, but it wouldn't move. With all her strength she could only move her toes. "I can't!" She gave up.

"Keep trying." Her nurse insisted. "Here, let me help you." The nurse said and began to walk her forward. Eram was trying her best to take steps on her own but her legs wouldn't budge. Holding onto the poll and having the nurse's support, she was trying real hard to try and be able to walk.

Having walked across the entire length of the pole, her strength was already lost. She couldn't stand anymore. "I have no energy left. Its so exhausting." She stated. From the corner of her eyes, she saw a form, and instinctively she looked up, only to find Shumail coming their way or probably walking towards the backyard door after a run.

"I'm extremely tired. Can you please get me some water?" She requested to the nurse, wanting to send her way quickly.

"Here, let me first sit you down."

"No, its alright. My husband is coming. He'll help me." Eram said. The nurse nodded and went in to get her water, not before making sure that Eram wouldn't fall off on the ground.

Eram was trying real hard to hold onto the pole and not fall off, and it took everything in her to stand strong. Her hand was around the poll and she held it so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

"Shumail!" She exclaimed quickly, when she couldn't hold on to the poll anymore. Her hand was slipping and she was sure she wouldn't be able to support herself on the poll much longer. She couldn't even turn to him fully, and she just waited there for him, with her back facing him. "Shumail, help me. My hand is slipping." Her voice had an edge and she was afraid of falling on the ground. With her one hand and both the legs fractured, if she fell, then it was sure that her injuries were just going to worsen. She could hear footsteps coming her way, and before Shumail comes, she tried to hold onto the pole but eventually she gave up and her hand ended up sliding off the poll.

"Shumailll..." A shriek of fear left her lips and she had her eyes closed, ready to brace the impact of the hit from falling on the hard ground, but she was caught midway, even before she could fall. Two secure hands were wrapped around her form, which held her firmly in its grip, and her heartbeat which was running wild just on the thought of her injuries worsensing, seemed to calm down a bit, feeling the secure and protective hands of Shumail around her.

She opened her eyes, which she had pinched tight shut and looked at Shumail, who stood there holding her form, with a blank face. "Thank you so much." She was really grateful to him. "I thought I could do it but ended up losing my strength. Thank you for catching me on time." She gave him a cheeky smile.

"Why are you purposely trying to do all this!" He exclaimed lightly. "It won't change anything!"

Putting his hands under her form, he picked her up in his arms and began to take steps towards the wheelchair. She looked at him for a moment and then her hand went up to his cheek, and she cupped it. She caressed it with her thumb and that made him look at her.

"Even if I say that I understand what pain you've went through because of me, I don't think I can. I have done wrong towards you, and I should receive whatever punishment you want to give me, and I am ready to do whatever it takes for you to forgive me. I'm asking for just one chance." She said in a small voice and with a smile on her lips. "I know you don't want to trust me ever again, but I have changed, Shumail."

He placed her on the wheelchair carefully and stood there looking away. She held his hand and pulled him down, making him sit on his toes in front of her.

"Give me one chance, Shumail. I want to prove to you that your love have changed me." Eram begged. "I want to win your trust back."

He had nothing to say. He kept seated there in front of her in a daze, and kept looking at the crisp green grass, his mind too hazy to think about anything.

When she didn't get a response from him she held his hand and brought it up, placing it on her heart. "You feel it? It's beating for you." Her eyes were teary. "I wish we could've met some other way and not like how we ended up meeting, but I am happy that however we met, atleast we did." She left his hand and brought her hand back up to place it on his cheek. "You're the best soul I have ever met, Shumail. Your every quality makes me fall in love with you." She caressed his cheek. "I'm no good to you, and I have done so much wrong towards you but still I want to get selfish and keep you to myself. Give me one chance, please." Her hand held his and she caressed it with her thumb, as she spoke.

"I don't want to justify my wrongdoings in the name of helplessness, because whatever I did and in whichever sistuation I did it, I did wrong." Eram spoke, the bitter events flashing in front of her eyes. "I accept my fault."

"Do you think its that easy? A sorry from you and I should forget everything and get back with you?" Shumail finally spoke in a voice that held the pain he was trying to hide from the world. His hollow eyes were staring deep into Eram's teary ones, and she could see the reflection of a broken soul through them. She wanted to curse herself for breaking him so badly.

"No." She shook her head, her eyes lowered to her hand in her lap. "You're right. I deserve a punishment and I'm ready to face it. I want to prove to you that I won't break your trust ever again, and I'm ready to do anything for it." She looked determined. "But please don't push me away from yourself. I'm happy just by looking at your face. I want nothing else."

"You need a chance?" He asked as he stood up.

"Yes." She immediately answered, looking up to meet his eyes.

"Didn't I gave it to you already? I kept asking you, but not once did you tell me that this all was a damn plan!" Shumail's hands were fisted by his side as he spoke. He stood there looking at her with piercing gaze, and her head lowered down automatically. She gripped her pyjama in her fists tightly. "I was ready to let go everything. For you." He confessed in all honesty. "I just wanted you to trust me, believe in me, that I can make everything right, but you didn't...." He trailed off.

"I.." Eram began but couldn't get words out of her lips. "I.."

Shumail looked at her, who had her gaze lowered, and shook his head at her. He let out a deep sigh and looking at her one last time, he walked away.

Eram let loose her tears the moment Shumail walked off, and cried out loud. "I trusted you, Shumail. I trusted you." She spoke in between her tears. "Everything about you made me fall in love with you. The more I knew about you, the more I began to fall for you." Her shoulders shook as she cried. "I believed in you, Shumail, that you can remove me from the mess I put myself in, and that's why I kept leaving all those clues." She finally confessed to no one in particular.

"My Rabb knows, that from the moment I was ordered to execute the plan against you and till this point in my life, I was on your side. I wanted to get selfish and just think about getting my brother's custody, but I couldn't do it after meeting you. Your innocence won't let me cheat you." Her tears were rolling continuously down her cheeks. "How much ever I tried, I couldn't, and soon I realised why." She smiled amidst her tears. "I had falled for you. Made complete sense why I couldn't cheat you." Her smile grew bigger while she confessed her feeling, but sadly, Shumail wasn't there to listen to it.

"I kept leaving clues for you and made you suspicious of my every motive and finally you ended up having a background check on me.." She wiped away her cheeks, and took in a deep breath, looking at the beautiful serenity in front of her. "I was ashamed to be in front of you, knowing well enough that you knew about my reality. Our marriage, our growing bond, my love for you, it was all real, Shumail." She badly wished that she could speak out everything to Shumail and let him know but she couldn't get the courage in her to do so.

"It was all real, atleast for me..." She cried out loud again.

Assalamualaikum!

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Until next time....ciao