I lurched out of bed. The nightmare still fresh in my mind. It seems I can't get a solid night's sleep anymore. A letter hasn't arrived for a month now. So that means I haven't had a peaceful sleep for a month. I dream of him lying alone and injured in a field. Of his eyes stare blankly at the night sky. Of him floating down a slow river. Of blood dripping endlessly and explosions ripping men apart. Of me searching for him endlessly through a field of wheat, his voice always coming from the direction I am not going. I dream of losing him. Forever.

I held my swollen stomach as I focus on my breathing. In...out... He's okay. He will be home soon enough. There's not always a way to get letters home. Don't be paranoid, Elizabeth. Control yourself. But despite my reassurances my body still shook. I could feel the sweat cooling my forehead in the cold room. The fire had probably gone out hours ago. Heaving myself out of bed I feel along the cold floor for my slippers. I flip the cold fabric onto each of my feet and shuffle down the hallway, not knowing where I am going.

But my feet lead me down the staircase, towards the front hall. The light of the moon cast ghastly shadows through the halls making every object seem tall and looming, reaching toward you with fingers made of darkness. I wrapped my arms tighter around my body, my hair standing on edge. Then I see something. Gliding quickly across the floor not a sound being made as if it was not even there. She skittered out of the kitchen, a cloak crusted with snow wrapped tightly around her. Her usually beautiful face seemed gaunt in the dark of the night, her golden wind-whipped hair like straw around her face.

"Margaret?" I said in a hoarse whisper. Her head whipped around, eyes wide- a deer caught in headlights. "What are you doing? Were you outside?"

She ran towards me, her footfalls as she hopped up the stairs not making a noise. She leaned in close, only a few inches away from my face. She smelled like the forest. "You mustn't tell anyone you saw me tonight, Elizabeth." Her sky blue eyes seemed as dark as the ocean as she spoke and her face remained stoic.

"What why. What were you doing Margaret?" I ask, leaning slowly back.

"Do you understand me Elizabeth. Not. A. Word." She said eerily calm. Her dark eyes bore into me. A plead? Or a threat?

"Alright. I will not speak of it," I said hesitantly. Without acknowledging that I had replied, she whipped up the stairs, her silent departure leaving no trace that she had even here, except a shiver down my spine that could not be shook.

The next morning I woke up with the strange encounter from the last night playing in my mind. What was she doing at that time at night? Was she meeting someone? Would the Prince want to see her so late at night?

I got dressed for the day and headed downstairs, dreading seeing Margaret. How would she react? But when I reached the dining room, she sat there smiling with my parents.

"Good morning, Elle! How was your rest?" Margaret greeted me nonchalantly as she buttered some bread.

"Uh, fine I suppose, hold for a few nightmares. Has the post arrived yet?" I asked trying to also keep up a casual conversational tone. But I couldn't help my eyes flitting curiously at Margaret trying to locate any clues about last night.

"Unfortunately not yet, dear," Mother said sadly before adding, "I am sure we will hear word about him today. Your father has sent out men to inquire on his whereabouts."

"Yes, we can not have you worrying as it may affect your child," Father said gruffly

"Of course, Father," I said.

"Elizabeth?" I look up to see Margaret grinning cheekily at me, "Would you assist me in a fitting for my wedding dress today? It is being sent to be altered at the same store your wedding dress came from."

Her behaviour seemed back to normal. Did I imagine what happened last night? "Yes, I will accompany you. When is it?"

"Whenever you are finished eating."

As soon as I was finished eating, Margaret whisked me out of my chair and into the waiting carriage outside. We waited in silence in the cold carriage as it bumped along the road. Should I ask her about last night? She said not to mention it though.

Margaret fortunately filled the silence, "I can not wait for you to see the dress I have chosen for the wedding! I believe it will be to your liking."

"Oh, yes I am sure it is beautiful."

"George and I have hired several painters to capture the wedding on canvas. Do you think they will be able to capture my true beauty?" she fluttered her eyelashes jokingly.

"I am sure they will do their job thoroughly."

She scrunched up her face," What is vexing you this day? You seem forlorn and distracted."

I cant my head in confusion. Why is she playing these games with me, she knows exactly why I am distracted today. But I played along with the game, "Hormones I suppose."

"Hormones?"

I corrected myself immediately, giggling to cover my mistake, "Pregnancy emotions, I meant."

"Oh, of course Elle, I did not mean to comment on that," she said reassuringly."I forgot to mention that we will be making a stop at the pier before the shop."

"Why is that?"

"Your father had said that a very important shipment is coming in today and he would like you to receive it," she said with a sly grin.

The last thing I wanted to get into was my father's business. It will either be some lavish item that has arrived from the silk road or from the colonies that he has gotten for himself or some lavish thing for me. I no longer want gifts of purple garments and fine jewelry probably stolen from someone.

We arrived at the pier, a large ship was already docked, people and objects were being unloaded. People limped along, bandages covering limbs, crutches being leaned on and all hope seemed to have left them. This wasn't an unusual thing to happen at the pier. At least once a week a boat would arrive carrying dead and injured soldiers. I used to go watch for Abe but now I avoid the area. I don't want to see him be brought out on a stretcher, or worse.

"What is the shipment we are looking for?" I asked Margaret.

"You will know it when you see it," she said cryptically. Together we watched the crowd of soldiers amble along. They all seem to be lost, shuffling along with no set destination. Some seemed relieved, others haunted, but most seemed like they lost everything that was inside them. War strips men of everything they are and everything they could be.

But then I saw him. Walking with more purpose than anyone else, a crutch secured under his right arm. His face was sallow, his dark hair matted flat, sunken eyes, chapped lips, and the bright red of his uniform that hung limply on him couldn't even bring colour to his face. He was glorious. I couldn't get the door of the carriage open fast enough. My dress was too restricting, I couldn't get to him fast enough.

"Abe! Abe!" I shouted, pushing through the crowd,"Abraham!" His face brightened when he spotted me through the crowd. He hobbled quicker through the crowd, elbowing people out of his way with his free arm. I hiked my skirt up past my ankles not caring about propriety as I ran towards my husband. I threw my arms around him, breathing him in. He dropped his crutch and laced his arms around my waist, drawing me in close.

"I missed you. Oh god how I missed you," he choked, tears threatening to spill out. He was trying to hold in tears but I wasn't. Tears were streaming down my face, my breathing hitched in my throat.

"I-I th-thought you were dead! I was so worried!" I blubbered and held him tighter.

Abe winced,"Careful, Al. I'm injured."

I pulled away to examine him, "Oh my god! What happened! Do you need a doctor?"

He held my hands," No I'm fine, Al. Do not be concerned about me. I am healing"

"How were you hurt?" I said in desperation, maybe he fell onto a stick and it had nothing to do with the war.

"I was shot, but really it is not very important," he shrugged.

"Are you kidding! You were shot, that's a huge deal!" I exclaimed.

"Let us just be glad we are together again," Abe sighed, leaning in and kissing me. His breath was sour but I didn't care, not at all. I took his free arm and laced it through mine and together we began to walk back through the crowd. I took slow steps as he struggled to keep up with his crutch. "What has happened while I was gone?" His breathing was laboured despite our slow pace.

"Quite a lot actually. So I have made us quite a fair amount of money and have begun construction on our house. It is not quite as big as what we are both used to but I believe it will be just perfect for us."

"Well I am used to a tent shared that I share with ten other men, so it sounds just splendid. How were you able to accumulate so much money?"

"Your brother and my father assisted a lot. Actually your brother has been very helpful during the time you have been gone," I said, silently vowing not to tell him his brother's feelings for me.

"Charles? Helpful? That is something new," he muttered in bewilderment."Any other important events?"

"Margaret is getting married. To Prince George of all people," I said gesturing to Margaret's faint silhouette in the carriage, "We actually were on our way to her Wedding Dress fitting before I saw you."

"I cannot say I am surprised," he stopped before the carriage and held my hands. I immediately noticed how calloused his hands were, they never were before. "I am just relieved to be home and with you, Alice."

I looked down at my feet, "You do not have to pander to my delusions anymore either."

"What do you mean, Alice?"

"I know that I am not actually from the future, it was just delusions. You were just playing along because you loved me. But you don't have to do that anymore."

He was silent for a few contemplative seconds, "Al-"

"Elizabeth," I correct.

"No, that is the problem. You are not Elizabeth. I knew Elizabeth before she disappeared and I can say with one hundred percent certainty that you are not her. Elizabeth was cruel, selfish, and vain. She did not care for anyone but herself, you care for everyone. The way you befriended Eleanor, Elizabeth would have never done that. You are not her."

"People change. Especially when you have amnesia."

"No. People do not change that much. Elizabeth did not have empathy, that is something you are either born with or not. Elizabeth would toy with people just to see them squirm. You are not capable of that. You may be able to take someone's memories and experiences but that does not change the soul, Alice."

"But still that doesn't make that proof I am from the future. You cannot deny that Abe."

"I cannot, but think of the stories you have told, no one can be that imaginative. What about your cellular phone? Is that not enough proof for you. Is seeing not believing?"

"That was a bar of soap or something that I pretended was something magical."

"I have seen it, Al! And I do not have that level of creativity to imagine something like that. I am sure if you light it again, you will see that everything you know is true. When we arrive home we will do just that because it hurts me to see you doubting yourself in such a way."

" I do not believe that would be a wise idea. It does not deliver me to the correct time and I am ambivalent if I wish to leave. If we acknowledge my difference that will only isolate and further remove ourselves from society."

"Would that be such a bad thing? I grew up with these people, they would not care whether we moved away or died, so why should we? And when did you start speaking like this, you have lost your accent and crudeness," he touched my cheek, directing my gaze into his. A painful hole in my heart which I had been trying to ignore for months seemed to burst like a damn, swelling to the size of my chest. I feel like a liar no matter who I act like-Elizabeth or Alice. Yet here I am, talking to my injured husband who has been off to war for months and we are talking about my problems.

"We should not be speaking of my problems when you are the one who is suffering," I sighed.

"No I wish never to speak of what I have suffered, never. And do not change the topic of conversation. You cannot ignore who you are. I have lived my entire life being who people want me to be and when I met you, that changed. I will not let those same people ruin you too."

"If we do not leave this time period, we cannot be raising our baby thinking that their mother is from the future when they can never visit, Abe.''

"Wait, our baby?" His eyes traveled to my stomach. In these dresses my baby bump was still not visible, perhaps in a month.

"I am pregnant," I said, grabbing his hand and putting it to my stomach.

He looked astonished, his eyes lighting up, "How long... five months?"

"Yes, just before you left." I hesitated, "How-how do you feel about it?"

"It's amazing, Al! I am going to be a father!" his lips came crashing down on mine. He broke away, a smile so bright it made up for his sickly appearance. He opened the carriage door with one hand while he leaned on his crutch, still smiling. He held my hand and carefully assisted me into the carriage.

"You should not be helping me, I should be helping you," I laughed as he held me carefully as I climbed in.

"No, no, we can not have you or the baby injured," he insisted.

"But you are already injured," I protest.

"I agree with Abraham," Margaret piped up, "Men, especially soldiers can handle themselves. Good to see you again Abraham." She used to have a flirty way of speaking to him that would make my blood boil, but that tone had completely evaporated. Maybe because she was no longer looking for a man, especially with the catch she has reeled in.

"To you as well, Margaret. Congratulations on the wedding of the century."

"Oh, thank you. I suppose the two of you would like to go to the estate."

"On the contrary, may we see the house of ours that is being built," he asked, grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers through mine.

"Of course, but do remember to be back at the estate by five for your bridesmaid dress fitting, Elizabeth," Margaret sniffed, her eyes flicked to our entwined hands.

"I am not sure we will make it Margaret, we have a lot to catch up on," he smirked.