Dear Hee-yong,

by now you're probably wondering why I haven't told you that I loved you. I know that it's probably upsetting you and I'm very, very sorry for that, but please listen to my reasoning. Throughout my entire life, I've never been very good at verbally expressing myself. My true thoughts and feelings come out when I write or by the way I act. I know that my spoken words are also important, but it's just hard for me sometimes. Areum was a person who broke down all of my walls and made me escape my zone of comfort to assure her of how I felt, but it was because of her constant pushing that I did it, I was pressured. You have been so patient and caring toward me and I feel like it's not fair for me to keep you waiting anymore. When I first met you that day at the ice cream shop, it was like a dream. I felt like I had met you somewhere, and maybe I did meet you in another lifetime. You looked so beautiful sitting there all by yourself. Your hair was blowing lazily with the very minimal breeze we had that day, and your eyes were sparkling while you looked around at all the beautiful decorations. The colors of the rainbow were reflected in your eyes when they met mine and I knew right then and there that you were gonna turn my life upside down. You are one the most kind and selfless people I know, Hee-yong. You always make sure to take care of the people around you and you sometimes neglect yourself and your own feelings to do so, and even though that is such a commendable trait, it makes me worry for you and your wellbeing. I worry about you like crazy. Did you know that? I bet you didn't. I wish that I had met you sooner so that I could love you just that little bit longer, because I truly don't know how much time I have left, but I do know this one thing for sure- 

I will love you from now until the day I take my very last breath, Kim Hee-yong. You have come into my life, and made me feel things I never thought I'd feel again. I was a wreck after Areum, I wasn't eating properly or sleeping. I didn't have the will or motivation to do things I enjoyed most of the time, and the only friend that I had was Taehyung, but in meeting you, I met a new me. A me that enjoys life again, and lives it to the fullest. A me that wakes up with a smile everyday, anxious to get started. A me that enjoys writing music and reading and talking to others. You've brought an entire group of friends into my life that I would've never even considered hanging out with if it weren't for you. I can't thank you enough for the way you've changed everything for me. You didn't exactly change me on your own, it was me that made the changes but it was you who made me recognize that things needed to change and I am so beyond grateful for you. Hee-yong, I love you. I don't ever want to lose you, and I wish that I could live out both of our lives together, but the painful truth is that I will be gone before you, so please don't be too distraught. Please remember me at our happiest times. I promise right now that together, we will make the most amazing memories ever together from here on out. I will be here whenever you need me, no matter what time of day or night. I am yours, Kim Hee-yong, and I really hope that you'll say you are mine. So.. Are you?

Love always, Kim Namjoon