Happiness craves war.

It is a human instinct to feel afraid whenever one is too happy. Those who are ignorant to such a mystic reality shall perish. After all, dawn falls on those who have suffered the darkness of dusk.

Behind a silver moon, is the sky. But it's dark so people don't usually look at it. One has to do one thousand good deeds to be a good person but one bad deed to become evil and corrupted. How fragile the morals of this impudent world are—This world, what a disgusting affair to ignite.

I am Vierne Obolensky, the last surviving member of the Obolensky family after the Black blood tragedy. My father was an Earl—Rich enough to build an empire here in Russia. My memory has grown hazy but not my vows. It was a fire that burned down everything, and I rose up from the ashes of the dead.

What can the dead possibly give birth to? Another dead one I suppose. It had been a decade since my death to the world—The world who forgot my name. And now here I thrive, in the darkness of this abandoned mansion somewhere in the woods. Nobody knows that this place exists and they will never.

Every visitor had seen the same face as the last one. I've read books, books that talk about me and those that don't. Far away in the heart of Russia, among the fierce woods of Moscow, lies an abandoned mansion with a deadly curse. All that she touches will lose its breath, you witness a beauty followed by death.

Time has followed me to the path I've come. For the seventeen years I've existed, I've only brought misery and death with sprinkles of bliss to fool those who thrive for it.

It made people wonder; how could something so beautiful be so deadly?

When I was seven, I suffered from an acute illness and lost my sensitivity to touch. I cannot feel anything from my hands anymore. However, that's not where it left me. Anything I touch with my right hand will break into thousands of pieces—as small as a grain of sand—be it an object, a plant or a human, anything living or nonliving.

Surprisingly, my left hand is worse. Anyone, who I touch with my left-hand beaks from the inside. My left hand can shatter emotions and precious memories, which is why my mother covered it with a black glove. It has been there ever since.

Nothing in this world can kill me. I can safely say I'm not mortal anymore. But then, what am I? I've asked the same questions to these four walls. But with every question comes that unexplainable silence and emptiness.

My body no longer performs any metabolic activities. I do not breathe, nor do I ever find the need to eat. Even my heart has stopped beating. It's as if I'm a living corpse. I have lost the ability to live as well as the ability to die. I'm stuck. Somebody please—Help me.

How pitiful have I become? Mom would be sad if she saw me now. But unfortunately, we don't get to choose what we feel. It was time to go out. I needed some new books since I had read everything I brought in the previous month.

So, I decided to pick up my black umbrella and walk out into the sun. I purchased books from the money my parents had left me. Because at that point, I was addicted to reading like an alcoholic is addicted to drinking. After all, I was living in the era of the great novelist, Akagi Scheczalier—A Russian parody whose name was familiar to every street of mother Russia.

His writings were powerful and yet elegant. What an array of sophistication that he possessed, the entire European and Asian continent was under the direct influence of this young man—From royalty to the peasantry.

I was busy having this literary conversion in my head while walking on that busy street and suddenly I bumped into someone. They must've been extremely hard-headed because they nearly winded me.

I groaned as I touched my stomach. What the hell was this guy thinking? I looked down at a boy in front of me. He looked like a primary school kid. He was too poorly dressed to have come from an influential family.

'Ugh, stupid curly hair!' was the first thing that came to my mind when I looked down at him.

If there was anything I hated most in the world, it was sticky things like honey, slouchy bugs and some special type of guys. You know, the guys who are blonde or have curly hair or supernovae that attract attention like in those romance novels.

This bastard happened to be all three of them, so I developed instant hate for him, even though he looked like a mere five-year-old—A fetus.

The boy looked up at me with his dull brown eyes, giving an almost pleading look. He was frail, pale and sported tattered clothes. His eyes looked dull and while looking at him, I felt an uneasiness within me.

For the first time in ten years, I almost felt as if my heart was about to beat. Was I alive after all?

He slowly moved his tiny hands towards me, reaching upwards. I waited to see what he was up to. Ladies and gentlemen, this brat's hands ended up on my very feminine chest and the nonsense he spouted was; "Oh! I can touch it!"

That's when I lost my very ladylike cool and did the only one thing which was obvious. I pushed that brat away and shouted at the top of my lungs, "What are you doing? I didn't know perverts started this young!"

Okay, that was unladylike.

I can't believe I lost my cool and composure to such a brat! To my defence, he was rude and invaded my personal space. I mean who gropes you on the very first meeting, and when he's expected to apologize?

That's when he sprouted utter nonsense: "Oh! You can see me?" Had his mother not taught him manners? "Shoo!" I sucked my teeth and waved for him to go away, then turned around and walked away.

As I turned and started moving, I was pulled back by my shirt and that boy asked me to wait. He reached about to touch my right hand so I pulled myself back and shouted at him to stay away, but he was reluctant so I did what was the best at that time, "Stay away from me you little snot, if you touch me, your poverty may spread. You perverted pauper!"

I didn't regret my words because maybe this would keep him away from me. Coldness and hurt are better than death. I turned my face, and began walking back home when he called out to me saying, "Okay miss, I won't touch you, so please give me a moment of yours!"

"Not more than a minute," I responded begrudgingly.

"A minute will be fine, I just need to ask you a few questions, first-" He looked really serious so I was curious what he would ask, he finally opened his mouth and said, "Are you sure you're a girl, tell me honestly, I promise I won't tell a soul."

Ever seen the human version of headaches? Now I present to you exactly what you think it is—A human version of a migraine so bad that it killed the man.

"I am a woman, at least biologically. If it's a joke, it's pretty distasteful if you ask me."

"How would I know—I haven't tasted you."

How shameful! I was seriously annoyed and just wanted to slap him right and left on the face.

"Say, miss, I have a request from you."
"A request, what is it? And why do you think I'd agree, pipsqueak?" I shot him a glare.

"Well, first off, I'm adorable. But my request is if you'd like to form a contract with me?"

What was this brat even saying? What kind of fucking contract? I knew nothing about it, so I answered "Sure, whatever."

A big bright smile lit up his face and he replied "Really? I was afraid you might reject my offer. Well, then let—" I cut him off and walked past him to the nearest police station.

"Officer, I think that kid is lost and maybe he is doped." As a concerned and good citizen of my beautiful country, Russia, I reported him to a nearby police station.

The police officer asked me where he was, so we walked outside and I pointed to the little boy who had followed me here, but the conversation between us didn't end well.

"Where, there is no one over there." The officer said, taking off his glasses only to squint. I swear people are getting dumber by the second.

"Over there, near that red car."
"There's just that red car, no one is near it."
"Are you blind? Put back on your glasses you dodo."

"There's really no one there. Have you taken your medication today?"
"What are you trying to say? Can't you see that blondie with the curly hair?"
"Calm down. Do you want some water? What did you eat for breakfast?"
"My intestines,"
"And now you're eating my head,"

As if you have one, you dildo. Can't even see a waste of skin and bones, standing as straight as an erect penis on that road. This was nearly how the conversation went on though. It ended up with him thinking I was doped. I mean—Was I?

"Do you get it now? No one can see me but you so goes for touching or hearing" said that brat with a smile while I was feeling doomed.

"What are you?" I asked.
"Didn't I tell you yet? Oh. How irresponsible of me!" He clapped his hands together.

"Well, what the hell are you?" I snapped.
"I'm a star!"
"Yeah right! How much coke did you sniff this morning?"

"Not really, I'm a star. The ones you see in the sky, I'm one of them."
"Then why the hell are you here on Earth?"
"I'm here for you."
"So, are you death?"
"Sometimes, not today. Today, I just want to form a contract with you!"

I stared into his dull brown eyes blankly. "No."
"Why?"
"That's because it's a pain. It's going to be too troublesome. Besides, why are you bothering me?"
"Because you're beautiful"
"Beauty is a mask to lure the cursed"

After that, I simply walked back home without looking back. I decided to change my clothes, and while I was changing I was thinking about what happened today. What a persistent brat he was! Suddenly, I heard a voice nearby. I looked around my room and found the source of the voice at my window.

"You're literally the definition of a loner. Are you an extreme case?" I turned back only to find that brat standing at my window I shouted as it was the only thing I could think of, and then I ran and quickly covered myself with a blanket with my left hand.

That freaking brat basically followed me to my house and entered inside through the window! It was definitely trespassing, and above all that he was violating my private space by entering shamelessly inside my room while I was still half-dressed. I'm starting to hate him more and more.

"How much?" I mumbled.
"Huh?" He gave me a stupid confused look.
"You know what I mean! How much did you see?"
"Oh, don't worry about it, I didn't see the details." He said with an irritating smile on his face.

"Do you take me as a fool?" I said, a bit relieved.

"Not a fool, maybe a dodo!" He started giggling.
Did I ever mention I am short-tempered? Well, now you'll know it.

His stupid laugh irritated me so much that I went to grab him by his collar and accidentally touched his neck with my right hand.

Oh crap!

What have I done?

"Alright, haha. Let's pretend I never said that." He said, pressing his fingers on my hands.
He's alive, but how? Has my curse lifted after all this time? Thinking all this I reached my hand towards a flower pot nearby. I was feeling slightly happy thinking that I was finally free, but maybe, I touched that flower pot with my right hand and as my finger touched it, it shattered into thousands of smaller pieces.

I was disheartened; I lost all hope all over again. That was just a moment of the past repeating itself, but this time the one to witness it was not my parents, it was this five years old looking menace who was a complete stranger to me. I had shown my powers, to the outside world, I could feel a terrifying omen coming my way, I knew this story wasn't going to end well.

"Say, why didn't you break when I touched you?" Now I was curious about this guy. Maybe he wasn't lying at all. Maybe he was actually a star. To this question, he replied, "So, you can break the things you touch, amazing Sila you got there!"
"What is Sila?" I asked curiously.
"Well, that is a special power possessed by demigods, of course."

"A demigod?"
"Yes, a demigod. It's the—"
"Offspring of a mortal and a God, I know. I read a lot."
"That's what a demigod is, and you are one of them."

I always knew I wasn't normal, I was born for something sumptuous! I am disconcerted.

"So then, what exactly is the work of a star?"
"Stars are mere familiars for the demigods who are destined to serve their master till they turn into supernovas."
"Basically die."
"Delure,"
"What's that now?"
"Stars don't die—Unless you kill them."

Is the air around me high or is it just me? Nevermind.

"So then, there are more demigods out there and not just me?"
"Precisely."
Others like me—I want to meet them.

"Then, why are you after me?"
"That's because you are mine!"
"How can you say that!"

"I can see people's red string of fate. Your red string meets mine. And plus, you're the only one who can see me."
"Are you serious? Do you have any idea how big of an age gap we have, you brat!"

"Don't worry, the age doesn't matter, what matters are the feelings attached!"
"Fuck you!"
"Now now, shall we?"

"Shall we what?"
"What do you mean 'what'. Now that everything's clear, let's form a contract!"
"What will happen if we form a contract?"

"Well, after we'll form a contract, you'll officially enter the parade to become a gatekeeper. A gatekeeper is a person who guards all the seven gates to hell and also the most important of all, the realm gates. Realm gates are shimmering portals used by inhabitants of the mortal realms to travel across between them. A gate that binds all the realms. The one that guards the gates has supreme power on all these realms and is called a gatekeeper."

"Is it like a war? Will I have to kill somebody? Hold up, that's if I even want this dumb job."
"What am I here for? I'll do the killing"
"That means people will be killed."
"Stars will."
"Does it matter? Somebody is dying—Be it human or star."

I just said that on impulse but I meant that. I can't watch anyone die. Suffering, sadness, death, I've had enough of it.
"Get out." I mumbled "And never come near me again. I'm never going to form a contract with you, you jerk!"

I had my eyes shut out of habit when I shouted. I felt a slight breeze and when I opened my eyes, he was gone. A demigod? I don't deserve such a divine status. Days went by, everything became normal again and I began spending my days reading. I believed that I would soon forget him.

But, I talked to someone after ten years. So, I still exist.

I looked up at the night sky while having my head filled with all these thoughts. The terrace was cold, but the cold can't be bothered. I sometimes have a body temperature lower than the temperature outside. I don't sleep. I just sit and read in the day and during the night, I stare at the moon, rise and fall back into the horizon. I wish I could stand on the stars.

'Hey brat, could you come here and lay down so that I could stand on you?'  laughed at my own joke. Was it wrong to be this young and this tired? After a week, while I was reading a novel in the library of my house, I heard that familiar chirpy voice.

"Say, you're missing me right?" That curly-headed menace was shamelessly standing at my window with a smile across his face. I couldn't believe it! What does he think of himself? He was so full of it, but, at the same time, it felt as if he read my mind. I was thinking about what he would be up to now.

"Absolutely not! My life is much simpler without you."
"Huh? Oh, you mean boring?" He smiled at me.

That brat, was he trying to hypnotize me or something? I was so not going to fall into his little trap.
"Why are you here?"
"To form a contract!"

"You are the pure definition of obstinate. No, I think I told you off properly last time, I can't, find someone else."
Suddenly, he got serious and bought his face really really close to mine and said "I can't. It has to be you or no one, I want you."

He was so close to me, I felt, awkwardly weird. Even though his face was so close to mine, I couldn't feel his scent at all, as if he had none. While pushing him away from me, I asked;

"Why do you want to form a contract with me so badly?"

"That's because I want a body. If I form a contract with my fated demigod, I'll gain a human body and a soul. I'll become a star spirit rather than just a star. I've been waiting for this for a really long time!"

Like 5 years?

"I want to become your star spirit. I want to help you."

I should've realised that he wasn't five—All the knowledge that I gained by reading all these years told me one thing—Run. But, I never take orders—Not even from me myself. I agreed to form a contract. I agreed with specks on doubts lurking through my conscience. He moved his little finger crossing mine and I could see that red thread intervening our fingers together as they tangled. We looked inside a broken mirror.

We shouldn't have used a broken mirror.

-To be continued

Dear Ms Lady Demigod
On My Own Damn Terms