I hope it is okay for me to continue addressing you as such. Let me begin with the most pressing thing on my mind.

I do remember that day, in fact one might say I have burned it into my memory. It is my most cherished memory and if I could watch it on repeat every night before I sleep, I might have an easier time drifting off. As it is now, I stay up for hours, wondering about my place in the galaxy, feeling the Force... feeling everything.

That day was my favorite day, even though I was so afraid that I hurt you. I remember we were just running. I will admit, I wasn't watching where I was running. I was watching you. At first, I'm tempted to say it was because I was worried about you getting hurt, and that is true. But it is not the first reason. The most important reason I was watching you was because I had never found you so beautiful.

And now that I've embarrassed myself, I might try to ask you to continue explaining how you are feeling. I am not sure if it is because I was born sensitive to the Force, or if it is because I am simply not as impartial as you are, but I cannot fathom the feeling of nothingness. I feel so strongly that I want to join the Light side, but I also feel the pull of the Dark side. I wish I could be like you. I wish there was nothing, sometimes. But that is not my destiny.

Speaking of, I am embarrassed to admit as well that my heart beat raced just a bit with the thought of our destinies being intertwined. I know it is unpleasant to be apart from you, but I will grow so much stronger because of it. I think I may ask my parents to train with my uncle. Especially if you believe me to be "cool". Is that selfish of me? To want to appear "cool" to you? It seems childish, but I get a small thrill thinking of it. As for the color, I do not believe it is of any importance in terms of light sabers. Do you think there is a color that would suit me best? Or a favorite of yours?

Perhaps I should have titled this letter as "Everything that embarrasses Ben Solo" because the thought of you bragging to your friends about me also brought a blush to my face. I relish the thought that I am important enough to you that you would speak of me in my absence. I also agree with you that in such a shallow town with such shallow people, that the idea of best friends probably would not arise. However, were it to, I would be absolutely flattered to be recognized by you. Having the newest things is not what is important. Friends are important. Ergo, you are the most important thing to me.

I hope that did not come off as too strong. I do hope that you feel the same way about me. To answer your final question before I must stop writing, you do indeed make me feel special. But not special in the same way as being a Jedi, as I might have implied. I feel that being a Jedi is a fate thrust upon me, whereas you are a fate most chosen.

Loyally yours,

Ben Solo