Dear Mr. Pessimist,

Do you ever see your own smile? Do you see the way your whole face lights up, the way your beautiful blue eyes shine, when you do? Try doing it sometime.

And I left another note in here for you to read, once you read it, send me a text and meet me at the location listed.

With love,

Sydney

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"What's got you smiling like you just won the lottery?" Mom asked when I walked through the front door. I shut the door gently behind me, surprised to find her sitting on the couch beside a man I'd never seen before.

"Nothing." I said, dropping my stuff on to the couch and avoiding my mom's eyes as I headed for the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water, turning around to find her standing a few feet away.

"It's a boy, isn't it?" She said, smiling, "I know that smile, sweetheart. I had it once too." She pushed a lock of my hair out of my eyes as they flickered to the man watching the movie in the living room.

"So there's this guy who-"

"So it is a guy?" My mom said, smirking, as if she had just cracked the code to unlocking something huge. I nodded, pulling her into the kitchen.

"Anyway, he's kind of an ass, a pessimist. I've been leaving him those sticky notes you keep buying at the store, telling him why he should smile more and stuff like that. And I think I've started to get through to him." I explained, feeling a little like I was blabbering.

"That's wonderful sweetheart! You're so sweet." She squeezed my hand before leaning forward and giving me a knowing look, "are you sure you aren't keeping a little something else from me?"

I stared at her for a second, trying to decide whether I should tell her or not. After all, she knew me well enough to know that I was keeping something from her, so she'd eventually figure out what happened or keep assuming things that hadn't.

"He kissed me." I said quickly, regretting it when I saw her face light up.

"Sydney, sweetie, that's great! Are you going to bring him home so I can me-"

"Oh, no. Mom, we aren't dating or anything. He. . . he did it without thinking. He regretted it and-"

She laid her hand gently over my mouth with a quiet chuckle.

"Sit down for a second, Syd." I was about to tell her I wanted to go to my room, but decided against it and sat down. This was one of the few times my mom had tried to make a big attempt to ask what was going on in my life, and I wasn't going to let it pass by.

"Your father wasn't exactly a sweet person when I met him. Sure, he wasn't pessimistic, but he was kind of a player and hated the thought of settling down with me. Maybe he was scared, he never stuck around long enough for me to know." My mom said. I stared at her in horror, blinking in surprise. This was the first time I'd heard this.

"But the more I pestered him, the more I came around and talked to him, the more I believed he started to like me. And one night, during our last year of high school, he talked me into losing my virginity to him." She glanced out the window, "and I agreed. I found out about you a month or so later, but I didn't tell him." I watched as she sighed and shook her head.

"Sydney, honey. Your father didn't know about you until you were five. He came by, to see if I still lived here, and you ran to the door. He wanted custody of you, baby girl. I just. . . I didn't want to give you up." I swallowed the lump that had started to form in my throat.

"Why are you telling me this? Why now?" I asked, feeling as if every ounce of my good mood had been drained.

"Because, sweetie. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. Guys can make you feel like your on top of the world, when in reality you're nothing to them." I stood up, starting toward the hall with a shake of my head.

"When did my life become yours, Mom? Don't you think I know how guys are? Do you not remember me spending a weekend in the hospital when I was with Zey?" I threw my hands in the air, my eyes stinging with tears, "I can handle my life. Just because you made mistakes in yours doesn't mean I'll do the same." I walked down the hall and shut the door loudly behind me before she could come after me.

*

I didn't get any sleep. Thoughts kept bouncing around in my head. From the kiss with Bennett to the conversation with my mom, my head felt as if it were filled without millions of thoughts that I just couldn't control. Sometime during the night, I must have dozed off. Because I woke up at five thirty and got ready for work, not really in the mood to go.

How was Bennett going to act today? How did I want him to act?

"Morning, darling." Mom said when I walked into the kitchen, dressed in an oversized t-shirt that I was positive belonged to her boyfriend sitting at the other end of the table.

"I'll buy something to eat on the way to work." I said, grabbing my jacket from the coat rack.

"Sydney, sweetie. Can we talk for a-"

"I don't want to talk, Mom. Just. . . not right now." I grabbed the keys and shut the door loudly behind me.

How was I supposed to talk to her after what she said to me last night? We had gone from me being happy to making me feel all kinds of confused and shocked. She had lied to my face for the last thirteen years, she had forced me to think that my dad was a piece of crap. That he had walked out at the thought of raising his daughter. When in reality, he hadn't even known about me for years.

I pushed my thoughts away and drove, focusing on the road and car so they wouldn't come flooding back. When I pulled up to the store, I found the Banks inside.

Mrs. Banks was yelling at both of the men in front of her, her hands moving in the air as if she were trying to swat something away. Once I was in, her screaming nearly deafened me.

"Why, Bennett?" She cried, grabbing her son by the shoulders, "Why can't you be like Aaron. Why can't you go to college and get a career, have a kid that actually comes into this world this time." I saw the shell around Bennett finally fracture at his mom's words, his expression twisting in pain.

"Aaron has a wife, one that isn't some whore living and working on the streets for money. They have a kid, too. And Mel gets to be a grandmother. All you do is treat that poor girl, treat poor Sydney Hale like she's doing something wrong. But she's trying to help you, Ben. She's the only chance you have left at a normal life. Because any girl that's willing to stick around this long with you has to really care." I thought about clearing my throat and revealing I was standing in here, but figured I better not. They all looked on the verge of yelling again, and would probably snap at me to get out.

"I'm sorry!" Bennett shouted, finally cracking, "I'm sorry I'm not fucking perfect, Mom. I'm sorry that I don't have a clean record, perfect grades and went to a perfect college. But don't you dare sit here and bring Hannah and Jamie into this. That was my fucking child she lost, not yours. That was my life that was flushed down a drain, not yours." he took a step forward and glared at his mother.

"And I can't tell you what the hell is wrong with her, with Sydney. She won't leave me alone. She gets under my skin, she tries to worm her way into my life. But she doesn't understand what you obviously do, Mom." He reached over and brushed his hand along his mother's cheek. "I hurt everything I touch and I'll never be good enough for you guys, let alone someone like Sydney."

They all stayed quiet for a second before Bennett finally lifted his head and met my eyes. He didn't say anything, he really didn't have to. I understood that he knew I'd been standing here the entire time. And maybe for him it was easier to say things aloud and not directly to someone.

I found myself shrugging a little, not finding any words to say myself. For the first time since I'd started working here, I actually felt that Bennett and I were more alike then I had once thought. And if I was being completely honest with myself, it really wasn't that bad.

***AN***

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Let me know what you thought!

~ChasingMadness24