Dear March,

Am I a good person? I want to be, I think.

Today my counselor told me I am, but for some reason I couldn't believe that.

She asked me what I was feeling.

"Do you think you're a good person?"

Hesitance. Am I? Could I ever be? How deceptive have I been for people to think I am? Does nobody know the monster that I am? How can I get help when nobody sees the beast inside my mind? I stared for a moment.

"I don't know. I try to be. I think I am."

She reassured me once again. So genuine. She thinks I'm a good person. How could anyone think I'm a good person? How messed up am I? Am I no longer the innocent Little Red Riding Hood and when did I become the wolf? Gentle and kind on the outside. Toxic on the inside. What am I doing?

I couldn't pay attention. My mind wandered to dark corners. I can't even take a compliment without doubt.

"Do you think you're a good person?"

I don't know. I was so focused on the numbness of my mind. On the dizziness from stress. On the waves of emotion crashing down, as it hit me that I may never be loved for who I am by my family.

Hey March, am I a good person?

Love,
C