Dear March,

Where does the time go? Wow. March, do you ever feel like you're not really you? Do you sometimes feel trapped in the past and weak? That's how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm having that weak feeling where emotions are achy. I'm feeling like I'm slipping towards my past again. Like my eating disorder wants to return and the panic attacks could come back. And wanting to hurt myself again. Missing the pain of emptiness and losing. And that horrible feeling of something being not right in my gut. That is the worst feeling. The hole that seems to tear through my chest wrought with sorrow. That wrongness that seems to teak the world apart. This is worse than the melancholy. I'm afraid of the feelings coming back.