Dear Love,

I've heard about you ever since I was a kid. I saw many people falling in love, some stay in love, some fall out of love. But I was fascinated by you, love. I wanted to know what you felt like. I've always longed for you.

When I was young, I always tried so hard to have you, Love. I did whatever I could to get you from my family. But all I got was pity hiding behind a façade of you. That's not the real you.

But you see, Love, I never gave up on you. I always hoped and prayed that someday I will meet someone who will represent you and make me feel good to be alive, for once. And I did find you, when I met him. He began taking little pieces of me, every time he talked to me, every time he smiled at me. Until I'm left with nothing but only the need to be with him. He told me he found you, love, in me. I believed him. With my whole heart.

But then, your friend Time came along and changed everything. He changed. Hearts broken, promises never kept and you were lost. I was shattered, Love. How could you change? You were supposed to be eternal. How can love change?

I was so angry at you. You broke me, Love. I wasn't sure you even existed at all.

Then I met someone who reflects me. Someone hurt and didn't believe in you either. So I thought if love can't make me happy what's the point in trying? He reminded me each time that people like us are not worthy of you. We don't deserve you, he says. And I believed him, again. Every time he came near, I grew less and less fond of you. Until I stopped believing in you.

Where were you Love, when I was crying alone thinking I wasn't worthy of you?

Where were you Love, when I walked home seeing people with you but I never got you?

Where were you Love, when I got so sick of this life that I wanted to give up?

Where are you?